“I have wined and dined with kings and queens,
and I’ve slept in the alley eating pork and beans.”
-Dusty Rhodes
This post will be about creating characters and how to use them to tell your story. This can be quite complex and involves different facets of storytelling. So, this topic will be broken down into 4 parts.
Part 1 – Intro and Physical Description
Part 2 – Dialogue
Part 3 – Action
Part 4 - Backstory
I’m aware that tastes differ among writers and readers. Some like a lot of physical detail, some don’t. Some prefer a lot of backstory, others want to get right to the action. Everything I say here will be my opinion and my style and preferences. Please feel free to add your thoughts to this post. Tell us what you like or how you prefer to write or what stories you prefer to read.
INTRODUCTION
About Me
Creating characters is my favorite part of writing stories. In real life, I find people fascinating. I think I am an astute observer of my fellow humans. By now, I’ve taken care of thousands of patients from all walks of life in my nursing career. My former patients include bank presidents, university deans, judges, lawyers, a state governor, a famous former U.S. senator and a well=known actor (he was a jerk!). At the other end of the social scale, I’ve taken care of homeless people, heroin addicts, drug dealers, convicted felons brought to the hospital from federal prisons, wearing orange jump suits accompanied by guards, illegal immigrants, and lonely alcoholics dying of liver failure. My patients are from many races, creeds, and languages. I consider all of it a great privilege. In addition, I’ve interacted with countless patient family members, hundreds of co-workers, and I teach a college class to Generation Z students. And that is just my job. Throw in my social network and yes, I have a large pool of experiences to draw from in creating characters. My stories are often inspired by real life people and events, but are never about anyone specifically. They are best considered as composites, that is, one character may have traits inspired by various different people.
My goal in every story is to create interesting relatable characters. I care about what happens to them and I want my readers to care as well. If readers can become invested in them, then the story might be more interesting, emotional, exciting, or even sexy. For instance, if fictional Kiva from KFJ reminds readers of their wife, girlfriend, sister, friend, neighbor, Grandpop’s nurse, etc. then the rest of my job of entertaining is much easier.
Getting Started
So, you decided to write a story about a fight. You have a plot in mind. You have a story arc and a fight sequence you want for your story. Now you need characters. You probably already have a good idea of your main characters. What do they look like? What are their personalities? What notable attributes do they have? How do they act? What motivates them? Why are they fighting? Strengths? Weaknesses? You may have a clear idea in your head about your characters. How do you translate your concepts to your readers? You like your characters, but why should your readers?
Some writers like to sit down and write a brief biography of their main characters before writing the story. This might include physical characteristics, background, occupation, romantic relationships, education, personality attributes and flaws, fight experience, motivation, etc. The purpose is not necessarily to include all the details into your story, but to help provide clarity in your mind of who your characters are and how they will interact and respond to other characters and situations.
General Thoughts
I like to think that there are three basic ways to reveal important information about your character:
1. Physical description – what do your characters look like
2. Dialogue – what your characters say that reveals information about them
3. Action – what your characters do.
In reality, each of these are closely interwoven together and can be occurring simultaneously. For instance, physical attributes can be mentioned in a scene where dialogue and action are occurring. For simplicity, I will discuss each one separately, but realize that they do not usually occur in isolation during a story. I will use examples from my own stories. I could choose better examples from better writers on FCF, but I feel I’d need to obtain their permission. So for the sake of time, I hope my examples will suffice.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
The importance is obvious, especially in a story about women fighting. It’s also where tastes vary widely. It’s a complex topic, but here are some of my general principles which I hope are helpful.
1. Avoid lengthy detailed descriptions of physical appearances. You are writing a short story, not a novel. Dwelling too much on what a character looks like might turn off readers. If the shape of the nose, chin, and eyebrows isn’t important or distinguishes the character, leave it out. Don’t spend many words on clothes. Say enough to give readers a basic idea of what your character looks like. If needed, more details can be filled in later.
This is my description of Faith from “Nurses Eat Their Young.” It was my first story and It’s the most detailed description I’ve given any character. Since then, I’ve learned to shorten my descriptions.
We all heard the stories about Faith. A mean bitch who could turn water into ice just by looking at it, she was the terror of nursing students for years. We felt her imposing presence immediately. A former power forward on her college women’s basketball team, she stood at 5’11” carrying a brawny frame; I’d estimate she weighed about 170 lbs. Her enormous hands, perfectly capable of windmilling a basketball in her palm, were matched by her 12.5 shoe size. Her large head, proportional to her body, was beautifully framed by coiffed walnut brown hair to her shoulders. With her wide set brown eyes, classic nose and full lips, at age 34, she was quite an attractive woman - when she didn’t look like she was sucking lemons.
The idea was to quickly establish Faith as a large muscular natural athlete with a mean disposition, not someone you would want to fight. It's a bit sloppy in retrospect. How did I know her shoe size? (More on body measurements later.)
2. Decide which physical characteristics give distinction to your character and highlight them. What physical details about your character make her (or him) memorable? Tell us about those things. Usually there is no need to waste space telling us about what is ordinary.
This is Paula from “The Poacher”
“Well, hello, girls. Glad you found us,” Paula warbled, approaching us from the kitchen. At age 38, Paula was a well-built woman at 5’6” and around 130 lbs. Her brown hair ran to her shoulders ending in an out of style flip. Her face was accentuated by high cheek bones, hazel eyes with distinctive high arching brows. Even more unique were her lips. The corners were turned upwards invoking the appearance of a perpetual smirk. As a friend at work described her, Paula looked like a cross between an outdated Barbie doll and Joker.
Creepy, right? Of course, this was a hint early in the story that Paula was a sinister woman and seta up the events that followed.
Sometimes a character’s appearance is so unusual that a detailed description is necessary. This is Tara from Goodnight, Snowflake.
“Marci, we’re ready to start now. Tara is all set.” I pull back my hair into a ponytail, step out of my dressing room, walk down the hall to the fight room. I feel the familiar plush carpet with my bare feet. The producer and camera man are there. And so is Tara. As I caught sight of her, I immediately froze in my tracks. I knew she had been altering her appearance in recent months, but I am totally unprepared by what I see.
Tara’s natural blonde hair is dyed raven black and pulled back. She stands in the center of the room adorned in a black leather string bikini. Dark eye liner around her blue eyes dominate her face. The liner appears to be tattooed. Her eyes are gray, apparently from contact lenses. Her lips are black and I wonder if it’s permanent. Her body is covered in tattoos. There are skulls, snakes, and swords. There is an anatomically correct human heart with a knife through it. There are names of death metal bands. A long dagger runs down the middle of her back. On the right shoulder blade is a grim reaper with a sickle. On the left is a garish image of a goat’s head on a human body. Her right flank bear the words, “Do what thou wilt.” Her body is a canvas for images of death and decay. Funeral dirge music emanates from her Bluetooth. She has the most supercilious expression on her face as I have ever seen. Arrogance and narcissism oozes from her face and body. A complete picture of self-absorption. She eyes me up and down.
“What the fuck is this?” she sneers. “You said you’d get me an easy tune up before the championship fight. But I wasn’t expecting an old hag.”
The revelation that Tara was a demonic Goth girl was a shock to Marci and hopefully, to readers as well.
3. Don’t underestimate your reader’s imagination: If you provide the bare essentials, the reader’s mind will subconsciously fill in the rest. They will think you provided much more physical details than you actually did. This let’s readers adapt the character to their own image without them realizing it.
This is from a future chapter in KFJ:
Beth Sullivan is a fair skinned, rosy cheeked, mildly chubby blonde woman of Irish ancestry. In her 40s, she is known for her boisterous manner and infectious belly laugh. She claims to be a descendent of John L. Sullivan, the first recognized world boxing champion, although many of us have our doubts, since the great John L.’s only known offspring was a boy who died during childhood. Like the “Boston Strong Boy,” known for his pugilism excellence and alcohol consumption, Beth never backed away from a confrontation and could outdrink any man or woman. You can find her and her husband with their friends in a sports bar on Saturday nights watching boxing or MMA. It would be impossible to miss Beth.
Notice I devoted less than one line to Beth’s looks. The rest of the paragraph reveals all you need to know about her. You can probably imagine what she looks like. Beth is an out of shape, hard partying fight fan and apparently a boxing historian. She’s probably hot tempered. It’s easy to imagine her style of fighting – a tough brawler.
4. Physical characteristics do not need to be revealed all at once. You can add more information as the story progresses. You may give a general description with the character’s first appearance, then fill in more details later. For instance, what is the first thing your fighter notices about her opponent. Her general build? Hair color? Attire? When the fighters get closer together, (e.g. a stare down), what does her face look like up close. This may be a more realistic and less awkward technique in physical descriptions.
This is the first mention of Marci’s appearance in Goodnight, Snowflake:
I’m standing in front of the full-length mirror staring at my bikini clad body. It’s strange and surreal returning to an activity from my wild and crazy youth. I never imagined I’d be doing this again. I look at my face. Those aren’t really crow’s feet around my eyes I tell myself. They only show up when I laugh. And those creases that run from my nose to the sides of my lips - those were always there, right? Yes, I do use hair color on the grays, but just a little.
Yes, the full-length mirror trope. Hey, it works! Marci immediately notices signs of aging on her face and we are not sure if she is in denial, joking, or maybe both. Her age is crucial to the story. The narrative shifts, then returns to Marci at the mirror:
I look myself over one more time. I’m in my red bikini. The 34D breasts have dropped a little, but not so much you’d notice. The muscle definition isn’t what it once was, but I’m still strong. At 5’7” and 140 lbs, I still look good. With my light brown curly hair to my shoulders and green eyes, I can still turn heads. I look at my belly. A surgical scar runs vertically from just below my belly button to my pelvis. That’s from my hysterectomy. There’s no hiding it. Below the bikini line, I hide a second scar.
Marci tells us more about her physical features which includes further signs of aging as we learn more about her past. Her surgical scars are pertinent to the story (Of course they are, or I wouldn’t have mentioned them, right?).
5. Try to describe physical attributes through the eyes of a character when possible. You will need to do this entirely in a first-person narrative. But also try to do in in third-person stories as well. E.g. “Natalie tried to suppress the intimidation when Sandra arrived for their fight. In her sports bra and shorts, Sandra certainly had a well-toned body, Natalie noticed….” This may help give the story a more personal emotional boost.
6. Reveal physical information by contrasting two characters. Remember, contrasts make great fights. Are your fighters physically different? Tall and thin vs. short and stocky, blonde vs. brunette, redhead vs. brown hair, dark skin vs. light skin, etc. Consider highlighting these differences by comparing the two fighters.
This is from “Waiting at the Door”:
After fifteen minutes, Big John blew a whistle and motioned both competitors to the center of the mat. Margaret’s friends wished her well as she headed alone to where the referee, Patsy, and Phil were already waiting. Standing across from each other, the women continued to stretch on their feet as Big John reminded them of the rules. To most observers, it was clear Margaret had a physical advantage. At 5’5”, 130 lbs, she looked strong. She exercised when she could. No one would mistake her for a bodybuilder, but for a mother of three, she appeared fit. With her short thick black hair pinned back, she looked very confident as she studied her opponent. Patsy measured at 5’4” and 118 lbs but appeared considerably smaller than Margaret. Her arms and legs looked skinnier; her tan skin was coarse, and her face had premature wrinkles, perhaps from her chronic smoking habit. Yet, she had a tough edginess about her, like someone who came there for a fight. Her dark curly hair needed no adjustment. Her facial expression conveyed that she was not a person to mess with.
This is from “The Better Woman”:
As I disrobed, I felt another wave of excitement. Compared to my looks and bright bikini, Jailyn looked pitiful. She wore a dark blue bikini top. I’d say we were both size 34B. She had on short dirt-stained denim cutoffs instead of a bikini bottom. Compared to my layered chestnut brown hair, tied into a ponytail, her long black hair was mangy. She stretched her arms upward revealing unshaved arm pits. Her navel looked full of lint. Some of her toenails looked yellow and brittle with fungal infection. I stared her down with my deep-set brown eyes. She looked nervous and didn’t make eye contact. Her grayish blue eyes looked intensely downward at the mat. I flexed my muscles to intimidate, especially my legs, showing the marked contrast of development. She marched in place opening and closing her fists. The referee gave us instructions. We did not shake hands. I looked over our respective guests seated on opposite sides of the ring. About thirty people total. My supporters are wearing sports outfits, skirts, and sun dresses while hers showed up in T shirts, tank or halter tops with jeans and old sneakers or boots. As Trey and I walked back to my corner, I looked directly at Jailyn’s people on the other side of the ropes. I rolled back my shoulders, tilted my head and flashed them a sexy girly smile. I admit, it was a condescending gesture. I showed them what a sophisticated, smart and beautiful woman looked like - someone way out of their league.
7. How important are body measurements? Personally, I’m not a fan of precise body measurements in fight stories. When a story begins with: “Susan and Linda are administrative assistance whose desks are next to each other at the office. They hate each other. They are competing for the same man. Susan is 5’8 150 lb, 42GG-28-38. Linda is 5’7” 147 lb, 41FF-28-36”, I check out. Aside from the cartoonish caricatures, body measurements are usually awkward in stories, even coming from all-knowing third person narrators. Yet, I’m aware many readers want the information. I include bra sizes very reluctantly. A few ways to get around it to be more realistic might include:
a. The story has a weigh-in where measurements are taken.
b. The fighters share the information with each other. Perhaps it’s posted online, like the “catpin website”.
c. In first person narratives, use estimation. Women are better than men in estimating another woman’s height, weight and bra size. “She looked about 5’5 and 125 lbs.”
d. Use comparison. “She looked about an inch taller and ten pounds heavier than my wife’s 5’6”, 130 lb frame.” “Her boobs were much larger than my 34C cups, she was at least a 36DD.”
8. Use physical traits to give depth to the character. I think we already covered this one. Do more than give straight factual information. What do the appearances reveal about the character? See the examples above.
Wow, that was a lot! Next, we’ll discuss dialogue.
Thanks for reading and please comment!!!
