[cager]

Disclaimer:All fighters are 18 or Older! This is a Work of 100% Fiction Resemblance to Real Situations is Not Intended! Prologue:at a Hotel/Casino just off the Vegas Strip,NataliaD is getting out of the Shower after a serious Work Out! She Was Reluctant to Come Back to Vegas for Another Fight after Getting Pussy Whipped by Rihanna! however,she Chose to Accept the Request for Another Fight,Understanding if she lost,that She Wouldn't be Forced to fight Again.

it Was Agreed to. in a Room at Another Hotel/Casino,Jessica Alba is Getting Ready for the Fight! The Stakes:if NataliaD Wins,Jessica has to Service her for 2 Weeks! if Jessica Alba Wins,Natalia Becomes her 'Bitch' until Released! if the Fight goes to a Draw, a Special Celebrity will Come out and Decide Who to Winner is and Claim the Loser as her 'Bitch'!

Pre-Fight:at a Club called the 'Royal Colosseum', NataliaD is getting into her Two Piece Blue & White Striped Bikini while Down the Hall,in her Dressing Room,Jessica Alba is helped into a Black Latex 'Dominatrix'style Bikini. Both Women Agreed to fight Without shoes,so Neither Woman could Try to Cheat! in Another Part of the Club, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga are watching as Sunrise Adams uses a Riding Crop on a Helpless Lindsay Lohan until Lindsay Passes out from the Pain!

Lindsay is Carried away while the 3 Women Talk! Lady Gaga says,"Girls,Jessica Alba is Fighting that Plucky Blonde,NataliaD Tonight!" Katy Responds,"Think We Could Set up a Room for her to Relax in After Jessica is Done Using her as her Personal 'Bitch'?" Sunrise Smiles and Replies,"Can Do.that Girl has Guts coming back for Another Fight!"

The Fight:in the Ring,NataliaD Waits to see Who She fights This Time! She's Stunned when She Spots Jessica Alba walking dow the Aisle and Thinks,"Oh FUCK! I'm Fighting the 'Dark Angel' Herself? I'm Gonna Loose for Sure!" Before the Bell,Jessica walks over and Plants a Kiss on Natalia's Lips before Returning to her Corner!  a Topless Blonde Says,"Ladies,This is a 'Vegas Bitch Claim' Match,You Win by KO,Submission,or by Outlasting Your Opponent! You Can Claim Your Opponent's Bikini & Her as Well!" The Blonde Exits as The Bell is about to Sound!

the Bell Sounds And NataliaD is Caught off the Bell by a Right Cross From Jessica! NataliaD Responds with a Right Hook that STUNS Jessica!

Jessica Gets Natalia into a Side Headlock and Scrubs Natalia's Forehead against the Ropes,Causing Blood to Come out! the crowd Goes Wild!

Jessica Pulls her Blinded Blonde Opponent Across her Knee and Spanks Natalia's Ass until it is as Red as a Cherry! Jessica Dumps her Opponent onto the canvas,walks Up,Grabs Natalia by the Hair and Yells,"Say It! Say it or I'll Maul Your Tits until they bleed!"  Natalia says into a Mic,"I'm Your BITCH!"

the Bell Sounds! a Dancer hands a Length of Cord and a Spiked Dog Collar to Jessica!  Jessica puts the Collar around Natalia's Neck and Attaches the Cord! She Then Says,"Come Along Now,BITCH!"

Post-Fight:NataliaD is Lead down the Aisle,her Bikini being Held in one Hand While Jessica Holds the Cord Attached to Natalia'sCollar with the Other!

Later,Jessica Enjoys the Talents of Natalia before pointing to an Oversized 'Pet Bed' and says,"Rest There until it's Time to leave!"

Epilogue:NataliaD Awakens in a Room at a Hotel/Casino in Reno! 3 Masked Women in Leather Catsuits walk in. one,a Blonde walks over to Natalia and Says,"Jessica Alba Decided to Release You for Putting up a Great Fight! We're Here to Escort You to a Jet wAiting to Fly You to Denver for a Little Time to Relax!" the Other two Help her get Dressed and They All Leave the Room!

Later,NataliaD is STUNNED when she Arrives at a Cabin outside Denver and Finds the Bella Twins waiting for her! Much Later,the Bellas are Seen Leaving as an Army Surplus Ambulance Rolls out with a Spent NataliaD Aboard!


This story is Dedicated to NataliaD! Enjoy! Dan

[cager]

Have YOU Written a story? or Do You Throw out Statements Without READING? Dan

[HB]

Have YOU Written a story? or Do You Throw out Statements Without READING? Dan

With all respect Cager, and I do see that the girls you dedicate the stories to do enjoy them... but yeah he is right about the general writing style.  Although there's no rule here and you can write in any style you see fit, just check out some of the other stories here. Or, pick up a book or magazine.  Look it over, note the paragraph structure, note how every word isn't capitalized.  It may make it easier for some to read. 

You're very enthusiastic, which is great and you show your appreciation for the fighters here, kudos on that. But every writer grows as they write, improves ( hopefully ) over time, and hell, I know I'm not above taking tips from others, and yes,  I have had paid professional writing jobs over the years.

But in the end, as long as most of the folks you write for enjoy what you do,  great. Heaven knows you can browse different writers and see some tremendously different and at times experimental styles      But keep it up and learn as you go, and keep sharpening your tools. 

[cager]

Still kinda getting back into the Groove after have not Written for a While. i get Tired of People saying things Who've Not Written and Think they know better. nuff said? Dan

[Nutmeg]

Still kinda getting back into the Groove after have not Written for a While. i get Tired of People saying things Who've Not Written and Think they know better. nuff said? Dan

People who don't cook know when food taste awful to them. Just because you have some pretension at intellectual arrogance based on your assumption about anyome who criticizes your work doesn't make it true.  Send your work to Harlan Ellison if you want someone who would really make you cry blood and he is an acclaimed writer.

Plus the use of 'nuff said' was not a question it was a statement. If you must plagarize Marvel comics , at least do it correctly.

[cager]

i know what I'm doing. when i saw your Name, i Wondered where I'd seen it before. were You ever on some of the Necro Boards? just asking. if You haven't seen my work before, i Suggest you check out Kim & Ginny's Fight board. i used to write there a lot before some things went rotten. Enough Said? Dan

[Nutmeg]

Considering I have no clue what a necro board is or who Gin and Tonic or their fight board is, I would say no

[cager]

Considering I have no clue what a necro board is or who Gin and Tonic or their fight board is, I would say no

[cager]

Kim & Ginny's Celebrity Fight Board. Necro as in Snuff,Hanging and other Nasty Fetishes. someone there had used Nutmeg as their member name. Dan

[Nutmeg]

Kim & Ginny's Celebrity Fight Board. Necro as in Snuff,Hanging and other Nasty Fetishes. someone there had used Nutmeg as their member name. Dan

Whew glad it wasn't necrophilia. But nope. Asexuals can have fetishes (a LOT of Vore that I have seen) but not I. Besides on such a board I would have used a ncik from my youth which use would be much more suitable but would likely be banned from here

[Nutmeg]

Have YOU Written a story? or Do You Throw out Statements Without READING? Dan

You're two statements have nothing to do with each other.  I'm a published author, though not in fiction, with duel Master's degrees in Education and Literature.

Your story was written in the style of a socially unfit 14 year old girl.  Whether or not I've written something here is irrelevant to the fact that you've got a myriad of basic errors that extend as far as having letters capitalized in the middle of words.  That's pathetic.  No one with a shred of respect for their own work would ever post something like this publicly.  Content means nothing if the delivery is something that a well educated elementary school student would be embarrassed by.

While no fan of Cager's style, the impact of your statement is killed by the fact no one holds 'duel' degrees, however, they may hold 'dual' degrees. And for that matter, the incorrect use of You're instead of Your right off the bat. 'Hoist with his own petard' may apply here

[HB]

Catfight stores aren't for me, no matter who writes them.  OK, maybe in those old JT Edson western novels, he pretty much wrote the best female fights I've read. So there's that.

But, how about some constructive criticism instead of just attack ?  Cager, if you're interested, I'd  recommend reading some of the stuff on Meg's blog.  I'll bet she'd like to have you check it out and you might find some styles you find helpful