San Diego CA 2018
The Queen of the Beach tour continues, this time featuring one of the highest profile beach showdowns in recent memory! Oscar winner Scarlett Johansson collides with Social Media Princess Kim Kardashian. The QOTB scene was still buzzing following Harumi Nemoto?s debut and her destruction of Brooklyn Decker weeks ago. However, Kardashian wasn't about to be outshone - certainly not by an Asian hottie without her own Instagram, Facebook or Twitter account! Kim's posts overwhelmed the public with Instagram and Twitter shots of her own and fans re-Tweets threatening Scarlett with any number of terrible things.
As the night of the fight drew near, Kim dropped even her prior thinly veiled pretense of modesty and began blatantly posting nude pics of (what was said to be) her own ass and tits, a no-doubt about it openly direct challenge to her smaller figured, and far more modest, blonde rival.
Scarlett, of course, did her part promoting the fight - utilizing her near unrivaled star power, she appeared on as many early morning "coffee with" shows, afternoon "gal gabfests" shows and she broke new ground hitting basic cable sports talk and hi-lite shows. Scarlett was in the forefront taking advantage of the recent Supreme Court decision that permitted gambling on so-called "T&A" and "jiggle" sports (women's pro-wrestling, lingerie football, the new, North American Topless Beach Volleyball League, and others waiting in the wings to take off) to re-brand themselves as "sporting events."
Unlike her opponent, however, Scarlett refused to get down in the mud with Kim and she barely even acknowledged Kardashian's taunts and the numerous posts from the Kardashian Klan fans.
?Please, I've got real training to do,? Scarlett would reply, rolling her eyes, whenever she was asked about the fight - or her opinion of Kim and her fans.
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FIGHT DAY
Scarlett entered first, her shoulder length blonde hair bouncing as she made her way to the sandy ring wearing her trademark Avenger's jumpsuit. She waved to her considerable fan base before purposely, and with deliberate slowness, unzipping her catsuit down to her crotch to reveal a juicy red bikini with push-up top and matching bottom. It sent the clear message that Ms. Johansson was bringing out the big guns; and felt she was not only ready and willing, but ABLE, to match Kim's self-described ?fearsome weapons.?
After a moment of silence, lights began to flash and music blare as Kim Kardashian burst through the curtains and jiggled down the entrance walkway. Kim bounced her way through the crowd of (mostly) booing and jeering fans dressed in a barely there (not that anyone complained) purple bikini. She was accompanied by half-sister Kylie Jenner who was herself decked out in sleek black bikini.
Scarlett's mind was racing as she realized she was NOT prepared to potentially have to deal with Jenner lurking at ringside. Kim and Kylie had caused SO much damage in the 2017 QOTB tournament that their tactics were not only known, but their penchant for rule breaking was WELL known, and frowned on by almost every other woman in the beach body flaunting game.
Kim climbed through the ropes and then visited each of the other three corners where she stopped to pose for her fans before she arrived at Scarlett's corner where instead of posing she violently slammed her boobs into those of the lighter blonde, knocking Scarlett on her ass!
Referee Salma Hayek separated the, Johansson smirking as she got to her feet following the cheap shot and gladly met Kardashian in the middle of the ring where the two proud women leaned in bikini bosom on bikini bosom while a distracted Hayek struggled to read the rules into her microphone:
?This bout will be for three rounds and the winner will be determined by pinball, submission, or knockout. If there is no winner after the three rounds, the winner will be decided by the total points awarded all of the judges. In the unlikely event the score is tied, there will be a one round OVERTIME. After that, if she score is still tied, we will continue, one round at a time until one woman is ahead.
Ladies you know the rules? Lets get it on!
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ROUND 1
At Salma's signal, the bell rang and the fight was on! Kardashian wasted no time going on offense as she took off from her corner and charged across the soft sand ring, rampaging toward Johansson with fire in her eyes and snorting like a bull in a china shop.
"OOOFFFF!" Scarlett grunted when Kim slammed into her chest-to-chest, Kardashian's heavier weight driving Scarlett straight back into her corner ring post. Johansson covered up as Kim fired a series of hard, straight, jabs into the breathless blonde's prize assets.
Scarlett's expert defense held up well under the barrage of blows and although the occasional fist got through, she was able to keep Kim's claws off of her ?girls.? Kim, frustrated by her inability to dig into her "soft" targets, changed tactics and went after Scarlett's head, but she telegraphed the blow and the Avenger heroine ducked and slipped out the side door, sliding down the ropes and out of the corner.
Kim, frustrated, slammed her fists on the ropes, then as she turned around POW! Johansson greeted her with an uppercut that dimmed Kim's lights and sent her crashing backward, sitting her down on the middle of the three sagging ring ropes.
Scarlet pressed her advantage and bitch slapped one of Kim?s hair extensions off her head, sending it sailing on the breeze across the beach! Scarlett wound up to punch Kim again but before she could deliver another punch Kylie Jenner reached over the top rope and grabbed her arm. Scarlett turned around to deal with Kim?s big little sister only to be stunned by a punch into the valley of her heaving breasts.
Johansson stumbled out of breath back toward the middle of the ring where Kim was waiting to ensnare her in a Bearhug. As Kim crushed Scarlett's slender waist, the brunette let her juggs do the hard work of dominating the Oscar winners far smaller rack. Johansson tilted her head back, gulping air as she hoped to gain some leverage, fighting her subconscious fear that Kim?s purple bikini top would eat hers alive!
Kim poured on the jugg as she punished Scarlett's boobs, but even with her overwhelming edge in asset weight, she couldn't make as much progress as she expected. Most blondes in Scarlett's position wilted immediately; yet Scarlett Johansson's small, proud, pair had stubbornly contested every centimeter of gain that Kim fought so hard to take.
DING DING DING!
The bell ended Round ONE with Kim bellowing in disappointment at having lost both her prey and the advantage she'd struggled to hard to get. After a brief consultation, the judges declared RD1 to be a DRAW and at the announcement, Kylie stormed through the ropes and into the ring to threaten Salma Hayek, who'd had nothing to do with the scoring.
Suddenly a familiar song blast over the loud speaker, the theme, ?WONDDDDERRR WOMANNNNNN..? as QOTB Commissioner - herself a former 70's Queen of the Beach LEGEND, Lynda Carter appeared and headed down the entrance ramp, looking every bit as radiant as ever. Hiking up her skirt and climbing through the ropes, Carter grabbed a mic, then pointed at Kylie and told the black-haired bad girl, ?I've had enough of the Kardashian Klan and your act...? she stated to ravenous cheers. ?... and enough of the wrong women getting involved in my contests and there being NO repercussions...?
"SECURITY!? Lynda called into the mic. Six men in black shirts who'd been standing by waiting for the Commissioner's call, instantly stormed into the ring, grabbed, and then escorted Miss Jenner out of the ring and off Lynda's beach!
Kim hurled obscenities at commissioner Carter who chose not to hear them, but whether it was from loss of hearing or failure to give a damn about Kim's opinion, she didn't bother to acknowledge her and Kim was still ranting when Hayek rang the bell for:
ROUND TWO
With Kim still distracted by Commissioner Carter, Scarlett got a running start and flew across the ring to Dropkick Kim, sending her careening out of control into the ropes, then bouncing off and running tits first into the fired up blonde.
Lynda Carter points and laughs at Kim as POW...BAM.... BOOM... Scarlett lights Kim up like a jiggly Christmas tree. Scarlett's training shines as she expertly drills fists into Kim's tummy, both her tits and her head. Kim's hands instinctively covers up the last place Scarlett struck, her late attempts at defense only exposing new targets for the fast firing blonde's fists.
Scarlett finally pauses her assault, takes a couple of deep breaths, then grabs Kim's inky black hair and pulls Kardashian face first into her sweaty cleavage. Kim's arms comically flail like windmills as Scarlett takes her breath away! Johansson's fans roar their approval as their heroine at last releases Kim who's head pops up like a Pez dispenser as she gasps loudly for air.
Scarlett doesn't give Kim an inch and presses her attack, kicking Kardashian in her bronzed belly. "OOOOOFFFT!" Kim grunts as she fold forward, her hands clutching her belly button, which is alot more "innie" than moments before! Scarlett steps back, waves her raised fist to the crowd, then swings her fist down, under, then back up into a jaw-splitting uppercut that drops Kim Kardashian right onto her infamous ass!
Kardashian sprawled on the sand, flat on her back, your classic tits up position. The beach-going girls and boys erupt in cheers as Johansson bounces off the ropes and, like a gymnast, launches herself in the air. Cameras flash as she spread her arms wide in a Swan Dive, seemingly gliding through the air before landing JUGG to JUGG on top of the prone Kardashian, absolutely PANCAKING Kim's tits. Kim's legs and and arms jerked up briefly before flopping back down in the sand. Kim desperately wanted to scream, but she had no air in her lungs and could can find none. Then Kim's head collapses back into the sand.
Johansson hooks a thin leg and pins the beaten brunette as Salma slides into place to make it official.
1...
2...
3...
The bell rings! Kim's day is done!
"YOUR WINNER BY A SECOND ROUND PINFALL - SCARLETT JOHANSSON!"
Scarlett raises her arms and smiles with delight for the ringside cameras. Some fans cheering for Johansson want her to give Kim "the business" but their Oscar winner is too classy to resort to trashy shenaxxxxns.
Suddenly, Johansson looked up as Kylie reappeared. She looked around, but Commissioner Carter was nowhere to be seen. Scarlett balled her fists and prepared for a fight as the bigger brunette loomed in the ring. Kylie spit on the blonde, her saliva hitting Scarlett right between her sweaty juggs with a soft SPLAT but then she suddenly turned away and went to her spread-eagled sister, Kim.
Kim's vision had just begun to clear as Kylie climbed into the ring and as she saw her, Kim screamed, ?Wha... (cough)...what are you waiting for - GET HER!?
She had barely gotten the words out when Kylie PLOP drops her own fearsome fanny on big sisters shocked face. Kim panics, writhing, squirming, and kicking sand as she fights beneath Jenner's sweaty ass cheeks while Kylie speaks to her sister with a tone of utter disdain.
?You?re an embarrassment Kim....you?re done.... I'M taking over as the head of the family now!?
Kylie grabs Kim's heaving breasts for leverage and rides out Kardashian's final desperate spasms. As Kim finally goes out under her, Kylie rises from her throne, turns and stares down at Scarlett who has been enjoying the show from a safe distance at ringside.
Her business on the beach concluded, Scarlett exits up the ramp as Jenner screams at the victoriously retreating blonde's beautiful behind: ?YOU HAVENT SEEN THE LAST OF US BITCH!?
End
SCARLETT KREAMS KIM!
FINAL VOTES
JOHANSSON 54
KARDASHIAN 36
Coming up next time a QOTB FLASHBACK!
