[sinclairfan]

BATTLE OF THE NETWORK STARS SPECIAL:  FISTFIGHT--CATHY LEE CROSBY VS LYNDA CARTER

Pre-fight interview show, August 12, 1976

Barbara Walters:  Good evening, I'm Barbara Walters.  Tonight I'll be interviewing the two combatants in Wednesday evening's prime time bombshell fistfight--former tennis player and current spokemodel Cathy Lee Crosby, and primetime television lead actress Lynda Carter.  Miss Carter is also the unofficial Queen of Televsion Fistfights, having defeated Farrah Fawcett-Majors in a May donnybrook seen only on ABC. 
Ms Crosby, as the challenger to that title, I will speak with you first-- welcome you to our studios.

CLC:  Thank you, Barbara; and while it's on my mind, can I just slightly tweak one of your statements.  I'm not seeking ..... nor do I even recognize Lynda Carter as holding .... anything resembling an official or unofficial or whatever fistfighting championship.  She won one damn fistfight.  Barbara, I played tennis at a world championship level--I qualified twice for Wimbledon--and to win a title requires .... or should require ..... years of training and being tested in competition.  My fight with Lynda isn't for a title.  It's a straight out woman to woman fight between her and I for a very public, very sly insult she made in a way to specifically hurt my career, my reputation, and my standing in Hollywood.

BW:  And the insult you're referring to is the innuendo she made in her Good Morning America post-fight interview, where she appeared to call out first Loni Anderson, then you.

CLC:  That's right, Barbara, but with a very important difference.  Her call-out to Loni Anderson was from onr alpha to another--she was leaving Loni a face-saving path to avoid a confrontation, while leaving open the possibility that at some point in the future, a confrontation might become, almost regrettably, difficult to avoid.  Whereas with me, it was a wicked, bitchy innuendo that I had already made career decisions specifically to avoid butting heads with her!!  With Lynda Cater!!  Barbara, exactly zero of my career decisions took Lynda Carter into account in their calculation.  None.  Zero.  I promise you that, and [turning to camera] you know full well, Lynda.  There was no reason to name drop me the way you did.

BW:  So you're saying other have drawn inferences from Lynda's interview?  To your detriment?

CLC:  They have, in that her other comments in the interview, about Stephanie Powers and Linda Evans being 'West Coast girls'--which, everyone knows, they eere both raised in Los Angeles, just like I was.  ..... Barbara, even if it's true that Los Angeles girls don't fight in high school like Southern girls do ..... and it's true we might not have the Friday Night Football tradition like they do, but we find plenty of occasion to girlfight ..... Barbara, even IF she was onto something on that score, it completely ignores that I was a World Class athlete.  And, without throwing the sport under the bus or revealing confidences .... Barbara, I played competitors from across the U.S.--including the South--, AAANNNDDD from Australia .....  AAAANNDDD from Canada .....  AAANNNDDDDD from Europe, including behind the Iron Curtain ....  AAANNNDC from South Africa
and Rhodesia.  Barbara, these girls ....WILL ... KICK .... YOUR ... ASS ... if you even look at them funny.  They make Texas girls look like 19th century Victorian Little Women, ok??  You learn to stand up for yourself when you face these girls, ok?  And they use their feet when they fight, ok?  Feet, knees, elbows.

BW:  So you had fight the intensity and duration of the Lynda Carter-Farrah Fawcett fight on the tennis circuit.

CLC:  Barbara, again, I don't care to reveal details about me ..... but I trained and toured with my little sister, and let's just say that more than once .... aay way more than once .... I served as her ..... chaperone .... in some pretty tight spots.  And, yes, Farrah and Lynda's fight was impressive .... but I've seen better, I've been in better, ....Both of those statements are true.

BW:  Are there any format changes we can look forward to in your fight, versus the May fight with Farrah?

CLC:  Well, America will actually see the footage of my fight with Lynda.  Instead of wearing tank tops, Lynda and I will be wearing t-shirts and jeans, which don't tear so easily during a fight.  And if one comes off, we have a gentleman's agreement to stop the fight for just long enough to make ourselves presentable ..... and broadcast-able.

BW:  Interesting.  So despite the fact that you have both played Wonder Woman on film, no chance of a Wonder Woman vs Wonder Woman fight in costume?

CLC:  No chance.  This is personal.  She called in out .... in an underhanded way.  Of I get the type of callout Loni Anserson got, I do what Loni is doing it--pay attention, note it for later, but move on with my life.  If something materializes down the road, so be it.  But Lynda's call out to me is going to get the response it's getting .... in just about any culture or country.  That was an '"It's on, bitch," call-out.  Well, guess what?  It's on.

Barbara:  Thank you, Cathy Lee, and good luck Wednesday.  Next up, Lynda Carter.  After this.

[snw]

Got to think Lynda did this on purpose. Wonder if Lee asked to see Lynda kick Cathy Lee’s ass. Maybe he likes seeing Lynda kick a blonde’s ass. Although I have no preference in hair color so to speak, my number one fantasy just happens to be a brunette ex of mine kicking a blonde gf of mine’s ass. Go Lynda whatever the case and dish out another beating on national tv. Oh and excellent stories here with this format. Love it.

[sinclairfan]

LYNDA CARTER INTERVIEW

BW:  I'm back, and joining me is Wonder Woman herself, and fistfighter extraordinaire, Lynda Carter.  Lynda, I know you heard Cathy Lee Crosby's comments.  She says a single victory does not make you a fistfighting champion.  Your thoughts?

LC:  Yes, hello Barbara.  Good to see you again.  And, I'll try and explain something that beta's like Cathy Lee Crosby will never understand.  Being an alpha isn't about the quantity of fights you've been in or won, although I've done plenty of both--my fight with Farrah just happens to be one of the few on film.  Being the alpha means that I go wear I want, I sleep with who I want, I get the roles I want.  Cathy Lee failed at tennis--and, Barbara, I know women's tennis today is up-and-coming, Billie Jean King advanced it quite a bit, and Chris Evert is the real deal--and, I might add, a genuine alpha, not someone I would seek to cross needlessly--but, Barbara, I am NOT impressed that Cathy Lee played women's tennis 8 to 10 years ago.  It was a completely different sport back then--much more genteel and country club.  And Cathy Lee STILL failed at it.  What?--she went to camps and tournaments with her little sister and beat up smaller girls who picked on her?  That's where Cathy Lee learned how to fight?  Puh-leeze!  Don't make me laugh.
Barbara--I know I overdo the high school analogies, but they work in many situations, including this one.  I'm the girl who sits and eats at any table I want.  Cathy Lee is the girl who sits at whatever loser table will have her--and even then, only if I'm okay with it.

BW:  Lynda, a lot to unpack there.  I'll start with the sleeping who you want to sleep with part.  There was a lot of tabloid fodder linking you with Lee Majors, the husband of your last fistfight opponent.  Was any of it true?  Have you and Lee been spending time together this summer?  And what does Farrah Fawcett have to say about this?

LC:  Well, I've never been one to kiss and tell, but a couple things I WILL say, and Cathy Lee better listen to this, too.  First, in the interviews after our fight, Farrah said that if her and my fight had been a high school girlfight, and the class had seen the two of us, and our fight marks, the next day, they would have assumed she won the fight--fair enough.  But [turns to camera], Farrah, another thing the high school would have watched over the coming weeks is who was with who's man.  Well, it so happens that I spent most of July in the hill country of Texas, with family, as did Lee, with his family.  And let's just say the our places are driving distance, and let's also say that he and I knew how to let each other know when we have some free time to kill.  And that Farrah seemed to afford him the luxury of that free time and freedom, despite my invitation to her to ... demonstrate, to me .... any objections she might have.  Now, are Lee and I and item at the moment?  No, THOSE rumors, and any like them, are false.  I'm a single, unattached woman right now.  But were there fireworks in Texas in July this year?  Yes, Barabara, there certainly were--big, explosive ones.

BW:  Ok, careful Lynda, we don't want the censors cutting us short.  We do get the picture, though, or at least I do.  Lynda, Cathy Lee being your oppnent later this week--did you orchestrate that in your ABC interview on Good Morning America?  Was that intentional on your part.

LC:  You know, Barbara, it's funny.  I mentioned my family in Texas--after the Joan Lunden interview, they called me, mortified, saying "Why did you start crap with Loni Anderson??  You sure you want to stir the pot with her??", and I sheepishly thought about what I had said, and thought, oh great, they're right, Loni's gonna find me and jump me and now I gotta watch my back.  But, can you believe, not a single one of them mentioned my Cathy Lee Crosby comments, which were entirely in passing.  Hell, Barbara, I think I was harder on Stephanie Powers in the interview than I was on Cathy Lee Crosby.  So when I ever got word that Cathy Lee Crosby thought I had called her out?....  Well, if that's how she wants to take it, that's her problem.  Honestly, between you and me?  I think her people are giving her some bad career advice that a fistfight with me, and the publicity from it, can open some industry doors for her.  But if she gets her ass kicked, I think her standing takes a hit.

BW:  And is that your prediction for the fight?

LC:  Well, I'm not looking past her and falling into the overconfidence trap.  But beating Farrah felt pretty damn good--and I want that feeling again.  I'm kinda glad I didn't need to wait too long to get thd chance to feel it again.

BW:  Are we in for another half-hour long battle?

LC:  Well, real girlfights take awhile to finish, they just do.  Cathy Lee looks like she's in shape.  But, as with Farrah, they'll need to drag me off of Cathy Lee once I'm on top of her.  But, yes, I'm confident THAT will be the outcome.  Me on top, her on the bottom.

BW:  Good luck.

LC:  Thank you.

[snw]

As I stated earlier love this setup. Would really love to hear a bit more of the Lynda vs Farrah tale where she invited Farrah to settle things if she had issue with Lee and Lynda spending some time together. Mainly was Farrah present when Lynda came calling for Lee? Was  he present when Lynda offered Farrah the opportunity to sort out any issues she may have with Lee leaving with her? I Love the mental picture In my mind  seeing Lynda back Farrah down in front of her husband . That in itself to a woman like Farrah is ten times more submissive and humiliating than any black eye Lynda had. Taking Lee without resistance IS the very definition of the Alpha. Would’ve love to seen Lee’s face watching Farrah back off without a fight. I know I would’ve been ready to take Lynda right there. As I watched  Lynda demonstrate  such a dominant show of superiority over his wife. That would leave little doubt as to who was the alpha between the two ladies. Especially knowing what Lynda intended doing with him. The only thing more dominant than that would’ve been if Lynda took Lee in front of her. Hot to imagine anyway. Another really hot chapter. Loving it,  and looking forward to the next part.

[sinclairfan]

BATTLE OF THE NETWORK STARS FISTFIGHT
August 14, 1976
Introduction

Joan Lunden:  Good evening, fight fans.  This is Joan Lunden, with my partner Donna deVarona.  We wanted to let you know a couple things up front.  First, unlike in May, we DO a full fistfight to show to which we will be doing in fifteen minutes from now.  Second, Donna and I have watched the full fight, and are going to discuss the result, so if you don't want the outcome spoiled, please turn off your sets now and tune back in at twenty past the hour.  Donna, welcome.

DdV:  Thank you, Joan.

JL:  Now, Donna, you and I spent this afternoon watching the Cathy Lee Crosby-Lynda Carter fistfight.  Who won, and what happened.  And was it a good fight.

DdV:  Joan, it was a decent fight, but more importantly an outstanding clinic, if you will, by an athlete over a non-athlete, which as I swimmer, I obviously identify with and take some pride in, having gotten into a few tussles over the years with tough girls who underestimated my athletic skills--endurance, agility, full-body strength.

JL:  So you're telling us that Cathy Lee Crosby won the fight....that she actually beat up Wonder Woman herself, Lynda Carter.

DdV:  Well, and of course, Farrah Fawcett [air quotes] 'beat up' Lynda Carter--Lynda had a pair of black eyes and a bashed nose, after all--we knew Lynda bruises and bleeds when hit.  And Cathy repeated Farrah's successes on that score.  But more importantly, Cathy took Lynda to the ground, and used her legs to get Lynda into holds where for minutes at at time, Lynda was powerless to do anything to Cathy Lee, but Cathy Lee just rained down punches and breast mauls, through the t-shirt and under, on Lynda's supine upper body.  It was exhilarating and a thing of beauty to watch.  Cathy Lee was NOT KIDDING when she said she's been in real fights.  Her experience showed.

JL:  Was Lynda able to respond at all.

DdV:  Three observations, Joan.  Lynda is a skilled ground fighter herself.  Early on, before she got tired--more on that in a minute--when Cathy Lee would mount Lynda, Lynda would punish Cathy Lee's back with vicious knees direct to the middle spine.  That's why Cathy Lee transitioned to leg-holds.  And second, during the standup portion, we did see Lynda's patented right cross land on Cathy Lee's face.  I'm curious in the interviews Friday morning if Cathy Lee will have marks.  But, mostly Joan...... and this is where the athleticism kicks in .... once Lynda got tired, she just hit a wall and went into a downward spiral of being unable to respond effectively to Cathy Lee's punches and chest mauling.  Honestly, if it was a high school girlfight, Lynda's friends would have jumped in by minute eight.

JL:  So this is no half-hour epic like Lynda vs Farrah?

DdV:  That's right, the outcome was clear by Minute 8, and Lynda gave at Minute 12.

JL:  Donna, thank you for the overview.

[Dan Zone43]

Just incase some younger people didn't know...Cathy Lee WAS the original Wonder Woman on a made for TV movie that led into Lynda's TV show.  People did not like blonde Cathy Lee as Wonder Woman.

[sinclairfan]

GOOD MORNING AMERICA
August 16, 1976
Post-fight interviews

Donna deVarona:  Good morning, America, and as advertised, this morning Joan Lunden will be interviewing Wednesday night's female fistfight winner, Cathy Lee Crosby.  But before we get to the winner, I have the pleasure to be sitting with Cathy Lee's worthy opponent from two nights ago, Lynda Carter.  Lynda, welcome, and could you describe your injuries for your fans? 

Lynda Carter:  Well, first I'd like to thank my many fans for tuning into the fight.  Despite losing, I hope I gavd a good account of myself for all of you, for ABC, and for all of ABC's advertisers.

DdV:  Lynda, when you and I were chatting off air, you mentioned to me that your consideration for ABC and our sponsors played a role in how Wednesday night's fight played out.  Could you describe for us what you meant?

LC:  Well, yes, ..... and some of this is inside baseball, but I think we can lift the curtain on parts of this, Donna ...... we all know how my fight with Farrah Fawcett, three months ago, took on a bit of a carnival aspect when ABC was unable to air ..... still hasn't been able to air, perhaps never will ...... 90% of the fight footage, because Farrah's top came off so early.  And so ABC had to go into Damage Control mode, and run a Good Morning America special 2 days afterwards ...... I think most people in the public don't realize, but it's far enouhh in the rearview mirror now that we can disclose.... I guess I'll disclose .... that there was no pre-existing plan for Farrah and I to give long interviews after our fight ..... but that all came together, as well as your and Joan Lunden's analysis of the fight footage ..... which, let me just say, I found...  iiinnntteresting ..... well, any hoo,  I felt obliged after the fight with Farrah to make sure Cathy Lee's top stayed ON this fight, so that ABC could have girlfight footage to play and use and replay .... and do right by its sponsors.

DdV:  Yes, how selfless of you, Lynda, ......

LC:  [Raises eyebrows at DvD, squints]

DdV: ....three things there I'd like to followup on,..... firstly, you're not suggesting the outcome, at least who won and who lost, in Wednesday night's fight, was impacted by .... let's call it, showmanship, i.e. the desire to have footage that could be used to get ratings?

LC:  The outcome?  No.  Cathy Lee won fair and square.  But the WAY Cathy Lee won?  Hell ya, any woman out there who''s ever been in a CATfight ..... and that's what that was, a catfight, not a fistfight ..... can tell what was going on in that fight.
It's like two girls who meet Friday night and catfight clothes-on with the boys watching.  Then meet in the Saturday night girls slumber party to fight for real, clothes off.  In that spirit, by the way, I'll issue the same challenge to Cathy Lee, which I issued to Farrah.  [Turns to camera] Cathy Lee, if you'd like to see how that fight would have come out, if the t-shirts had come OFF, you know shere to find me.

DdV:  Let the record show that I think that's an excuse for Wednesday night's outcome.

LC:  That's your prerogative.  What's your second complaint, Donna?

DdV:  My second complaint is about my and Joan's iiiinnnnnntteresting analysis.

LC:  [snippishly]  I didn't say Joan's, I said yours.

DdV:  Oh did you, now?  What was interesting about it??

LC:  Oh, the part that Farrah and I were fighting [air quotes] 'like Neanderthals'.  Like you wete getting off on it right after the cameras were off.

DdV:  I was trying to compliment you and Farrah for putting yourselves on the line like that.  I found it coonstructive.

LC:  Well I found it creepy.  And your third complaint?

DdV:  Candidly, I call b.s. on your being the self-proclaimed expert on Friday Night catfights.  Lynda, it's all you talk about, like you're overcompensating for something.  I can't put in finger on it.  It bugs me.

LC:  I bug you?

DdV:  Don't twist my words.  Something bugs me about the way you .... act like a know it all about fighting. 

LC:  .....says the woman with no on-film fights to the one with two.

DdV:  Well, I don't know about you, but I know I've heard just about enough from .... and about .... Lynda Carter.  When we come back, Cathy Lee Crosby with Joan Lunden.

[sinclairfan]

GOOD MORNING AMERICA
August 16, 1976
Cathy Lee Crosby interview

JOAN LUNDEN:  Good morning, America, this is Joan Lunden, and my special guest is Lynda Carter vanquisher Cathy Lee Crosby.  Cathy, you and I just watched and listened to Lynda's surprisingly tense interview with Donna deVarona, what did you think.

CLC:  What I thought was, you know it was interesting, Donna said that Lynda's know-it-all prattling on about her being a high school alpha catfighter act is getting old ...... which, of course, it is ...... but it actually describes pretty well what happened to her with me.  Lynda got too big for britches ....[turns to camera] there's a Southern saying you'll understand, Lynda ...... and had way too many irons in the fire .... she's calling out Farrah (for a rematch!), calling out Loni Anderson, calling out Stephanie Powers, ......., and then makes a flip comment, underestimating me, because she's using tactics that might work against somebody else on me, who learned to fight against Rhodesian and Australian girls.  Well, her act got old with everyone, including Donna, and she got her comeuppance this week.

JL:  More on that act and those comeuppance in a minute, but first ..... Cathy, that's quite a shiner you've got there.

CLC:  It's true, Lynda gave a me a shiner.  It was a fight, after all, Joan.  But I think I got her back in spades, didn't I?  Bloody nose, bloody mouth.  I see the footage on the screen right now, thank you for showing that.  Lynda, I think we both know your challenge to fight again, this time in private, is empty, as I'll make you look like that again..... without hesitation.

JL:  Cathy Lee, on that topic--you and Lynda went after each others' breasts pretty aggressively, you especially on hers, if you don't mind me saying so.  That was a side of Cathy Lee Crosby that I don't know that we expected to see.  Did you pick that up in tennis.

CLC:  Joan, again, I don't know that I'd want to label or besmirch an entire sport, one that I love, but more importantly, one that is thriving and on the rise finally.  But, again, it's a sport that brings together, often in tight quarters, girls from all different corners of the globe, but especially these priviledged ...  well, frankly, "rich bitch" girls ..... who were raised in tough, hardscrabble surroundings like the South Africa/Rhodesian Transvaal, the Australian outback ..... these horseriding, rifle shooting princesses .... well, when they fight, they have, shall we say, busy hands.  So, just to survive against them, I learned some .... dirty ..... holds.  I think this is what got the burr in Donna's boot--Donna no doubt had her own experiences and hard lessons in the world of swimming .... I heard her reference naked shower fights, ..... sexy ..... but Lynda seems to think nothing tops her Friday Night bleacher/Saturday Night slumber party experiences.  Well, there's all sorts of experiences out there, Lynda, not just yours.

JL:  You used the word sexy.  IS gitlfighting sexy? 

CLC:  Well, the ratings these fistfights have been getting are saying SOMETHING, aren't they, Joan?  And, I mean, as spectators, do any of us, especially us women, ever ...... in any context ..... turn down an opportunity to watch a proper girlfight  ...  especially if we HATE ond or both girls?  And if the girls are attractive?  We've all been there, there's no denying it.  But, again, in Lynda's case ..... one fight with Farrah -- that was sexy.  Her taking on and making the rounds against Hollywood--that was getting old.  And she paid the price.  Just like Icarus... too much, too fast.

JL:  How about you, Cathy Lee?  Who might we see YOU against next? 

CLC:  Well, Joan, if I had to pick just ONE name to call out .... and, I've given this some thought .... first, after having two blonde-brunette fights, I think ABC should have a blonde-blonde fight.  And, as Donna alluded to .... I think I demonstrated to ability of athletes to put on great battles.  And, since I can't beat her on the tennis court ...... I wouldn't mind trying my luck against Chris Evert.  I think America would enjoy watching she and I lock up.

JL:  Oooooo, I hope Chrissy is watching this morning.  But for now, a word from our sponsors.

[sinclairfan]

ABC WIDE WORLD OF SPORTS
August 17, 1976
Chris Evert phone interview

Donna deVarona:  Good Saturday afternoon, sports fans.  We pre-empt our coverage of logging and the Lumberjack Games from the Pacific Northwest for a special live interview with women's tennis champion Chris Evert, who I believe is at her home in Florida.  Chrissy, can you hear me, and is that correct.

Chris Evert:  I can hear you loud and clear, Donna.  And yes, I'm at my parents' place, getting ready for the U.S.Open in Forest Hills in 2 weeks.  Thanks for giving me the air time.

DvD:  Chrissy, it's our pleasure.  Now, I think most of America has heard by now that Cathy Lee Crosby called you out for a filmed, unscripted, unrefereed fistfight to be shown on ABC.  Your response?

CE:  My response is that what Cathy Lee did was uncalled for, and cowardly.  Donna, you'll notice that when Lynda Carter and even Farrah Fawcett, after their fights, dropped names, they listed multiple names.  That way, realistically only one fight, tops, can realistically occur, and the women named who don't fight don't lose face.  If Cathy Lee is the multicultural world traveler she claims to be, she'll get the concept of losing face, and how transcendent it is across most of the world.  For Cathy Lee to name one woman by name, me, well she's being too clever by half.  She thinks she's painting me into a corner, but Donna anyone who knows me knows I don't get painted into the corner, so I'm going to turn the tables on her right now, if you'll allow me to direct a message to her, woman to woman, right now.

DdV:  Chrissy, yes, please proceed with your message to Cathy Lee Crosby.

CE:  Cathy Lee, you listen to me, and you listen good.  You want to fight me?  Ok, here's your chance.  I'm going to new in New York for the U.S.Open, like I am every year, for four weeks in September.  The tournament itself is 2 weeks, and then I tack on a week at the start and the finish, for training and rehab.  I know your family has a place, several places, in fact, in the city.  Now, I'm giving you two choices.  I will make myself available with as little as 4-6 hours notice at any of your family's places ....  ALONE ..... Ok?  that's Choice 1.  Or, if for any reason you don't want me on your family's property,  .... and this is Choice 2, .....  I'm giving you a gate pass to the Forest Hills facility, where there's a sauna room .... and we can have one of those fully nude shower fights you talk about with such a big mouth ..... with other tennis players witnessing, or without.....  Choice 2A and 2B, ok?  So, your choice, Tough Girl, let's do this.  Now, if AFTER that, you want to fight on ABC .... Yes, I will grant you that fight.  I guess the next ratings sweep is November--that would work.  But first your butt needs to cash the check your big bitchy mouth wrote.  If our paths don't cross in Septrmber, I'm going public with that news.

DdV:  Chrissy, was there a history between you and Cathy Lee before Friday' morning's GMA interview?  I'm sensing there was.

CE:  Donna, I'll be happy to answer those questions in November, if and when we have an ABC fight.  For now, let's just say, no comment.

DdV:  ....because our ABC Wide World of Sports research staff has found links between you, Cathy Lee, and former Notre Dame quarterback Joe Theismann....

CE:  Donna, again, I'll be more than happy to discuss at a later time.  My message today is to Cathy Lee.  Make your choice, Cathy Lee.  I've given you plent of time.  Thank you, Donna, I need to run.

DdV:  Thank you, Chris Evert.

[sinclairfan]

CBS Sports Spectacular
August 31, 1976

Phyllis George:  Good Saturday afternoon, sports fans.  I'm Phyllis George, former Miss America and co-host of CBS''s Football Sunday.  We pre-empt this afternoon's coverage of Funny Car racing from Henderson, Nevada with a special interview, by phone, with women's tennis prodigy Tracey Austin.  Tracey is in Forest Hills, New York for next week's U S. (tennis) Open, and claims to have witnessed a brutal sauna room confrontation between women's title holder Chris Evert, and television spokesmodel Cathy Lee Crosby.  Tracey, good afternoon, and what can you tell us?

TA:  Well, Phyllis, everyone in the women's facilities has been on edge since two weeks ago, when Chrissy called out Cathy Lee on.....

PG: ....on another network.  Yes, continue Tracey .....

TA:  .... well, yes, on another network.  Anyways .... where was I? .... anyways, sure enough, this morning, Cathy Lee came in ..... almost exactly as Chrissy was finishing a sauna .... do, she had just a white towel on.... and, OK, so this was the confusing part .... Cathy Lee came in with just a towel .... even though she hasn't played in years..... and she walked straight up to Chrissy .... and just slapped her face hard .... as in, "It's on bitch."....

PG:  Did Cathy Lee or Chrissy actually say that?

TA:    .......IF anyone did, it was her.  Cathy Lee.

PG:  Fascinating.

TA:    ... and then Cathy Lee was totally in Chrissy's hair ..... each ripping out huge chunks .....

PG:  We're almost out of time  ....

TA:  See, this is why CBS is 3rd in the rankings.

PG:  Dammit, quick commercial.  We'll be right back.

[sinclairfan]

PG:  This is Phyllis George again, back with Tracey Austin.  Tracey, we're all fascinated by what transpired in the sauna between Chrissy Evert and Cathy Lee Crosby.  But some of our viewers who are not women's tennis aficionados might not be aware--you and Chrissy have a bit of a history, amiright?? 

TA:  Well, Phyllis, I don't know that I'd call it a history.  Chrissy has chosen in certain interviews to call me her #1 rival, even though she has 10 Grand Slam's and I have zero.  I guess cuz I'm American but Evonne Goolagong is Australian and Martina Navratilova is Czech and Virginia Wade and Sue Barker are British and Betty Stove is Dutch.  I think she was just trying to intimidate me because she and I aren't in the same weight class, so a catfight is out of the question and she feels free to flap her slutty lips.  But, yes, others have noted her unnecessary obsession with me and my rise in the rankings.

PG:  So, did this contribute to your interest in the sauna fight Chrissy got herself into.

TA:  Well, I prefer to think that anyone would find a naked celebrity streetfight to be .... unique .... I mean, that's why I'm on, right?  For ratings?

PG:  You tell me, Tracey.  It's your dime ..... why ARE you on?

TA:  Well, if I get a word in edgewise before your next Weekends Are Made For Michelob or Diehard Battery On A Frozen Minnesota Lake commercial ....  Cathy Lee and Chrissy had a total, all-out nude catfight on the sauna floor--claws out, bathing suit parts.  The whole nine yards.  There were three of us watching, and the two of them didn't even care.  The Joe Theisman rumor has to be totally true, because a man in common is the only reason I've ever seen 2 women lay into each other so hard.  There was no winner .... it was just a mutual exhaustion draw.  Chrissy just ... rolled over into the showers .... and Cathy Lee just got dressed and left.  The fight lasted 10 minutes--it was too fast too hard to go any longer.  Chrissy's just .... pathetic, if you ask me.  Phyllis, she sleeps around so much.  The saying with her is, "The line is long, but it moves fast."

PG:  Tracey, is it over between them, do you think?  Between Chrissy and Cathy Lee?

TA:  Well, the thing is, they were so ... even.  I mean, Chrissy promised on GMA to give Cathy Lee a televised fight in November if they fought at the U.S.Open.  Well, that fight happened.  I don't see how Chrissy backs out now.