I wanted to kick myself; I was so mad and so stupid. They usually go hand in hand. It had been three weeks since that night when I had met Will at the Amazon club and not a phone call, not a message, nothing from him at all. And what had I done? Gone back to the Amazon Club, and there I was. My dark side told me I was desperate for a fuck, for this particular guy to fuck me. And what was worse my dark side was right. It usually was. "But stuff it", I back answered my dark side "I liked him, I wanted a relationship."
My dark side sneered.
Perhaps it had been right about Will too- that he had only been interested in a fuck that night, not in any relationship.
I just hoped he would be there at the Amazon club. "Even if he is" my dark side went on, ‘you know he’s just not into you – you’re just another fat chick- unless you do something to show you’re different to every other fat chick." And I knew what that something was- I’d have to fight someone. "And of course," my dark side changed tack, ‘that’s really what it’s all about. You had a hellish fortnight at work and you want to kick someone’s ass. You don’t even want to play with someone like Cassie; no you want to inflict pain-serious pain. You are a pathetic sadistic excuse for a human being! You don’t even want a relationship. Not deep down. That’s just the excuse. Admit it, you just want to fight. You just want to hurt someone or to be hurt.
I tried to deny it, but my dark side threw back the boxing practice I had in the last fortnight- every day at the gym, the extra weight lifting, the circuit training. All of it was designed not just to improve my body-‘and hell it needs improving’ - the dark side couldn’t resist that jab- but to make me able to fight.
So there I was, standing at the back of the stadium. I’d struck up a sort of conversation with an older couple; they were there to see a particular woman fight. I kept on looking round for Will as I pumped them about the open challenge- where anyone could seek to take on one of the fighters. The couple- Wayne and Charmaine - told me the challenges were warm up matches- to get the crowd enthused. Usually they didn’t last long. Some girl- usually full of drink-challenged one of the fighters who generally had no trouble in defeating her. "But sometimes " Wayne went on’ a serious contender challenges, that’s often been the way a new regular emerges."
I told myself." They were going to watch s serious challenger tonight. Me"
.
"In your dreams!" my dark side sneered.
I reminded it that I had beaten Sheila only a few weeks ago.
"Whatever!" it snapped.
I excused myself. I walked to the officials’ table even before they called for challengers. "I was here two weeks back, I fought Sheila, I want another fight."
The man-middle aged paunchy, balding, looked me up and down. "Yeah, I remember you, Sheila thought she’d beat you, so did I. You looked like some typical loud mouthed yahoo."
I bit my tongue; I so wanted to tell this guy he could stick it. But I wanted a fight. "Well I beat her, I want to put my name down as a challenger."
He looked at me. Finally he nodded. "Sure, we have a gap tonight, what is your name?" He took a form filled it in and made me read and sign it. "Go up to the change room, you’ll be on in 20 minutes." He turned to look at the ring.
I did as he said, changed and limbered up.
There was only one warm up room. "Why are you surprised" my dark side sneered. "You know the place is a converted warehouse and factory, it’s a low cost building for low life losers like yourself."
So I had to warm up with all the other women who were going to fight. There were three of them when I came in. Two went out , leaving this redhead about 30 I guess, a bit taller than me, slightly built wearing a t shirt over a sting bikini. I started asking questions and found she was my opponent- she was the woman who that night took on the challengers.
She tried to talk me out of fighting- yes forfeiting the match. She had already found out I’d only fought here once, that I’d never fought professionally before. She said, "You look nice, I don’t want to humiliate you in front of your friends." She put her hand on my shoulder.
"Friends?" my dark side mocked, "You aint got any friends. Not even Will. You know he aint here.""
I’d come there to fight, I didn’t need anyone sapping my courage, I didn’t want anyone telling me what my dark side told me- that I was a stupid bitch to fight women who had fought for ages, who trained, who did it for money- yeah professional fighters. So I snapped back, "Yeah you’re so nice. You’re just scared." Hell I was, perhaps she was too. I glared at her. "What sort of place is this? A fight club or what? I saw a ring; I saw an oil bath too. I came here to fight. That’s what this place is for, that’s why I am here."
She glared back. "Listen you lil bi..." She cut off, then went on. "I’m trying to help you. If you call me scared again you will regret it." She shoved my shoulder hard.
"Sure I will." I stumbled a bit. Her shove surprised me. "And sure you are...bitch. Go on you were going to say it! Now I have said it for you, but its you who are the bitch. Don’t push me!" I pushed her back; I put my weight into it. I caught her by surprise. She stumbled into a wall.
"That’s it bitch," she hissed, lunging at me, she tried to grab my shoulders to pin me against the other wall- yes the room was that narrow, it had probably been a corridor or perhaps a storeroom once. Like I said it was a dump. I stepped out of her way at the last moment; I tried to grab her as she rushed past. I missed, I just brushed her, somehow she hit the wall again. She seemed a bit stunned so I let her have it. I pushed her hard; she stumbled to her knees. She hissed, "You are really going to pay now bitch!"
I giggled, "Oh yeah!" I kicked her ribs. "Let’s get ringside or are you too scared?"
She lunged; we grappled. Still brawling we lurched out the door and into the main room just as another fight was ending. The crowd whistled, cheered and hooted. Most of the cheering was for the local woman, after all the bitch was well known, on one knew me- except I hoped Will.
The redhead grabbed my side, slapping my face repeatedly. She jammed me against a table. She pushed hard her hands on my shoulders. I fell back onto the table, my legs kicking futilely in the air. She punched my side hard. I squealed in pain. She tried again, this time I focused on her. I bent my leg back and shot it forward right into her breasts. She stumbled back. I got to my feet just in time to be hit hard again. This bitch could fight. I retreated; she followed. I almost fell back when I hit a chair. I swayed; I weaved to avoid her punch. I ducked. I sent a jab back into her. It hit harder than I expected. She staggered back. I drove another punch into her tummy. She gasped.
I looked to my side; we were very close to the empty ring. I heard the commentator –another old washed out has been – call out our fight. "In the red corner we have Jenn Peccavi a newbie, a challenger, some of you may have seen her fight Sheila a few weeks ago, she did well for a newbie. Let’s see if her beginners luck holds when she takes on our own Toni Rogers. Toni in the blue corner. No, what am I saying they don’t have corners! They have started brawling already! So far Toni seems to have the better of the fight. Let’s hear it for Toni and Jenn." It was good to know the bitch’s name. Not so good to hear the cheers for her.
I scrambled into the ring as Toni still gasped from my punches. My dark side reminded me how luck y I must have been. Lucky or not I knew I had to keep the initiative. I grabbed Toni’s hair; I yanked her up into the ring. Her back arched, she must have suffered bad. I smirked. "Ok bitch, get in." I punched her in the stomach. "Suffer!"
She groaned, the crowd groaned with her. They seemed surprised. "Good," I thought, "let them be surprised, I’ll make this a night they will remember!"
Toni slammed her knee up; it hit my side, pushing me away. She got to her feet. She lunged. She surprised me; she recovered so quickly. I hit the ropes. She held me there with one hand as she pummelled me with her other fist. I pushed hard. I tried to push her away. It was her turn to be surprised. I twisted her away; she half fell to the mat, landing on one knee. She wasn’t fooled. She grabbed my sides as I pushed forward; she used my momentum against me. It carried me forward. I crashed into the ropes on the far side of the rings. She was up,ready for me as I came flying back. She grabbed my arm, swinging me into the turnbuckles.
I groaned; I slumped. But I wasn’t finished. She came forward right into my foot as I shoved it hard into her gut. That stopped her! I kicked again. I grabbed her, twisting her body. I used my weight to force her to the mat. She rolled away quickly –too fast for me to get more than a couple of kicks in. She got to her feet. We spent a few moments circling each, each looking for an opening.
Toni swept in low, she tried to get under my defences. I countered by stepping to the side, grabbing her shoulders, pushing hard. I knocked her to the mat. She kicked up. I seized her leg. She grabbed my hair as I bent over her. I kicked her.
"Fuck!" I fell hard on my back; She had twisted around, yanking my feet from under me. She didn’t waste time getting to her feet. She just launched herself onto me, pinning my shoulders. I bridged, I kicked and slapped. I managed to get her off me.
We both got to our feet. I attacked, firing quick punches at her midsection. She retreated; I followed, keeping the pressure on, the punches going. She tried to kick. I saw it just in time, leapt to my side and grabbed her foot, yanking it into the air. She went down- she knew too much to try to hop on one foot. She kicked out, I had to drop her foot or I’d have been winded by her kick. Even as it was she hurt my side badly. I kicked her side. She squealed. I knew it was just pretence, I had hardly touched her. She tried to kick again. This time I was ready I scooped her foot up. At the same time I pivoted to the side swinging my leg, kicking her side. This time it hurt her. The crowd was puzzled, some were cheering for me, most seemed shocked that their champion wasn’t winning.
I tried to bend her leg. I leant over her. I wanted to double her up. She seized my hair and pulled me down. I got to my knees I tried to grab her leg, she avoided it. I slapped at her body. She writhed in pain as I ground my knee into her tummy. I tried to straddle her. She squealed "No. No!" She arched up. Some of the crowd laughed. Some cheered.
She arched, she bridged, she fired punches. I couldn’t complete the straddle. I toppled backwards. We both got up, breathing hard, Toni had to use the ropes to get up. I was sure I had her. I swept in with punches, swinging them hard and fast. I smashed into her body. She fell to the mat. She rolled, she rolled again. Suddenly, seemingly without noticing it she was on the very edge of the ring. I strode towards her.
She had gone. She was out of the ring. I blinked. I hadn’t expected this. I was so angry. I went after her. We fought in the space between the ring and the first row of seats. We swung wild punches at each other. One of hers hit my belly. It nearly winded me. I spluttered, doubled up. She punched again, this time it hit my chin. My head rocked back. She lunged at me.
We both crashed to the floor. My back slammed into the hard concrete. I lay winded for a moment.
She punished my belly and sides with hard punches. I rolled; I tried to shake her off. I succeeded; I got to my feet. She attacked; she mistimed. I raised my knee. She impaled herself on it. She dropped back, staggering. I went after her, slammed her back on a table, scattering food and drink.
She tried to push me off. She failed. I slammed her head on the table, and again. I poured a beer over her face. She lay gasping, wide-eyed. She tried to twist off the table. I pinned her shoulders. "And you get paid for this!" I sneered. I slapped her face.
She wriggled, twisted. She kicked my side. I dropped back. She kicked my gut. I staggered. She got up. She lunged. She pushed me back against the side of the ring. She pinned me there for a moment. I shoved. We grappled there on the apron, bodies straining. I pushed her round till she had her back to the ring. I slammed her hard, and twice more. Each time her back hit the steel framed ring she groaned, her grip weakened. I slammed her again; I grabbed her hair, yanking her head. I banged it against the frame. She moaned; her hands dropped to her side.
I climbed up into the ring. Toni stood shaking, gasping, she was dazed. I seized her hair. I yanked her up "This is supposed to be a ring match - come back inside bitch!" I tugger her up by her hair. Her back scraped along the frame. She moaned and twisted in pain. She kicked her feet.
I landed her on the mat. I stuffed my foot in her belly. "Give bitch."
The foolish bitch hissed defiantly though I couldn’t hear what she said over a roar from the crowd. I dropped on my knees. And then it hit me. This bitch knew she was going to lose. She knew from the moment we met in the dump of a dressing room. Maybe it was her experience at sizing up her opponents, perhaps she had seen me fight. Maybe she was sick or tired or hurt somehow. Whatever! She knew she couldn’t beat me. That’s why she tried to get me to forfeit. . I almost felt sorry for her. Whatever. I had won, I don’t forfeit.
Then I saw Will. He smiled. He blew a kiss. He gestured, he mouthed something. I knew what he wanted. A trophy.
I straddled Toni. I ripped her top open. She squirmed; she hissed, "get off me." I clawed her tits through her bikini. She writhed in helpless pain. I rolled her over. I ripped the top off her. I threw it to Will. "It’s not about what Will wants, you want to strip her, you want to humiliate her, its you who wants the trophy! Its’ all about you trying to be the Alpha Bitch That’s why you fought, that’s why you fight all the time."
"Give in bitch." I demanded. I wished my dark side would give in too. It wouldn’t. Maybe Toni would.
"Yes I give, I give" she groaned.
I stood up, climbed out of the ring. Will was there, he kissed me. "Babe, shower and I’ll be waiting for you. But first I think there’s a contract waiting for you to sign."
And so there was. I signed up as a pro fighter. "Some day soon you’re going to be where Toni is, in pain, defeated. You know that, don’t you?" My dark side sneered. "And yet you are signing up for this. All to prove you’re Alpha Bitch! All to prove you’re not the worthless trash you really know you are. All to try to get a guy."
Wayne and Charmaine congratulated me. I showered and left with Will, his arm around my waist holding me close. Every so often, his fingers slid down and caressed my butt. I told my dark side to stuff it
