[Glamour Fights]

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Dian Parkinson	Martine Beswick
25 years old	28 years old
5'7" 128 pounds	5'5” 128 pounds
37D-23-37	35B-25-37
22nd 13pts 6-13-1	17th 18pts 9-11-0

Neither Dian Parkinson nor Martine Beswick are happy with their performance so far. They have something to prove to themselves and their fans. Dian says “No way am I going to lose to a small busted, shorter brunette.” Martine quips “No way am I going to lose to a weak blonde with fake tits.” Lots of hairpulling and good hard fighting in this fight. 

Annette Funicello	Goldie Hawn
27 years old	24 years old
5'3” 118 pounds	5'5" 118 pounds
36C-22-36	34B-24-36
21st 14pts 7-13-0	29th 3pts 1-18-1

For those who think that Annette Funicello is just a sweet thing not given to fighting  I point out that she showed some fighting abilities on Fantasy Islandlater on.  Goldie Hawn would go on to have a good fight in Private Benjamin although she did get beat up by a tough female. Both women are fighting for pride. Goldie is out to show she is better than Annette who has seven wins to her one win and one tie. Annette is out to put Goldie in her place as just another bleached blonde. [/color]

Edy Williams	Sharon Tate
27 years old	26 years old
5'7" 128 pounds	5'5” 112 pounds
37D-23-37	36B-22-35
23rd 12pts 6-14-0	19th 16pts 8-12-0

Comparing their relative statistics, Edy comes into this fight feeling very confident. “I will bury the skinny little tramp under my tits.” Sharon is feeling equally confident, if not even more so.  She won her last four fights and is on a roll. She beat Cathy Lee Crosby, Sherry Jackson, Dian Parkinson and Lindsay Wagner. And she barely lost to Joey Heatherton. “Edy is so slow and unskilled I will dazzler her with my moves before I force a submission.”

Sherry Jackson	Adrienne Barbeau
27 years old	24 years old
5'4” 120 pounds	5'3½” 120 pounds
36C-22-35	34DD-22-35
26th 8pts 4-16-0	24th 10pts 5-15-0

In spite of their records, this could be a very intense, hard fought, hairpulling catfight. One brunette wants supremacy over another. Adrienne Barbeau vows she will lord her huge jugs over Sherry Jackson’s boobs. Sherry says she will rip Adrienne’s sagging tits off.

Elke Sommer	Farrah Fawcett
29 years old	22 years old
5'7" 125 pounds	5'5'½” 113 pounds
36B-22-36	33½B-22-33
3rd 38pts 19-1-0	18th 18pts 9-11-0

   
Elke Sommer is looking deadly serious with deadly being perhaps the operative word. She not only wants to beat Farrah Fawcett she wants to utterly destroy her. Elke is looking to add to her voting difference score to close the gap on Sybil Danning. We are not sure what Farrah is laughing at. She says it is the idea that Elke will destroy her. “Why just look at her, she looks a little soft and not all that strong to me. Is that flab on I see on her belly.” Elke snickers back “Guess Farrah hasn’t seen some well defined powerful abs before.”

Jill St. John	Loni Anderson
29 years old	24 years old
5'6” 118 pounds	5'5” 120 pounds
36C-22-35	38E-25-36
6th 34pts 17-3-01	9th 30pts 14-4-2

Two beautiful very sexy women meet up in this fight. A redhead against a blonde. Jill St. John and Loni Anderson stand with hands o hips trying to look as confident as possible. Both are coming off good wins. Jill St. John over the always tough and mean Diane McBain and Loni Anderson over the tough and skilled fighter Victoria Principal. Jill beat a blonde and Loni beat a redhead in their last fights. Loni is also the only one to beat Sybil Danning to date. It should be a very entertaining fight as Jill and Loni are of comparable size with the exception of Loni’s bosom. This might be the longest and closest fight of this round.

Barbara Bach	Britt Ekland
22 years old	27 years old
5''7” 116 pounds	5'5" 110 pounds
36B-24-35	34B-22-34
25th 9pts 4-15-1	27th 8pts 4-16-0

There are several strong vs strong and weak vs weak contests this round. This fight belongs in the later category. But even if the contestants are not the strongest nor the most skilled, their fights can be very entertaining, very long, and very close. This is especially true if they are similar in size. In fact the fighting can be faster paced and wilder than two skilled strong women who are more cautious against each other. So this fight between Barbara Bach and Britt Ekland could be one of the most highly contested and intense fights this round. Don’t think they lack heart nor the desire to win.

Elvira (top)	Tuesday Weld (bottom)
22 years old	27 years old
5'7" 118 pounds	5'4” 112 pounds
34D-21-34	32B-21-33
12th 25pts 12-7-1	20th 16pts 8-12-0

Elvira (Cassandra Peterson) has the size on Tuesday Weld although she is only 6 pounds heavier. Tuesday is coming off an easy win over Sherry Jackson. Elvira is coming off of a down-to-the-wire fight against Adrienne Barbeau. That could affect their relative shape as Elvira might be more tired and beat up than Tuesday. That should even the odds and this could be another long hard fought mach that does now to the last second.

[Glamour Fights]

Uh, considering she's most famous for getting stabbed to death, you think maybe including Sharon Tate is a little creepy?

Big ups for Goldie Hawn if she goes back to her Laugh-In haircut.  

I considered that but decided that was no reason not to honor her for her beauty and appeal to lots of people. You could argue the same about Jayne Mansfield's horrible death or Marilyn Monroe's tragic death. But a list of 50s sex symbols would be sorely lacking if I excluded Marilyn and Jayne. Sharon was not the same stature as Marilyn and Jayne but I felt she deserved to be in the tournament and not be excluded because of her tragic circumstances. There are other stars in both tournaments that have also died  or suffered attacks. Joi Lansing died from breast cancer and Diane McBain was raped in 1982 which led to her set setting up a rape victim counseling service.

I meant to also say thank you, colinscrod, for your sensitivity. This is a difficult issue and I did consider a long time of whether or not to include Sharon. My final decision was influenced in that she appeared in movies with Nancy Kwan (a fight Sharon won) and Elke Sommer (no fight but she pushed a blinded Elke into the pool). She also appear with Claudia Cardinale but Claudia is in the fifties tournament.

[Vassago]

I agree with Glamour Fights, people live their lives as long as their memory continues into the next decades. Tate, Monroe and Mansfield have all passed away before their time but their memory remains even in a place like this 

Back to the action though, Parkinson/Beswick is probably the best blonde vs brunette pairing you'll get in the entire competition (throw in Raquel Welch for the redhead camp) and here are my thoughts:

Dian Parkinson vs Martine Beswick
Great match up here and when Martine's around you know lots of hair is going to get pulled. Martine surely gave Edy Williams and Jaclyn Smith a rough time but since Dian is a stand-out blonde, this could turn really ugly. Dian would be able to rip some of Martine's dark hair too but in the end the floor is scathered mostly with blonde her and Martine kicking Dian's brains out in a brutal fight.

Annette Funicello vs Goldie Hawn
Some time ago I was picking Annette to lose her fights and she's been winning them, now I see her kicking Goldie's butt all over the place but the blonde looks like she's learned something from her losses too and threatens to smash the brunette herself. I'll go by the record books and chose Annette to win.

Edy Williams vs Sharon Tate
Sharon's chances rely on Edy still feeling the rough pounding she received from Martine Beswick and Pam Grier but looks like Edy's dark hair are looking fine again. Therefore Sharon's recent run of success will end as the brunette will beat her up badly to regain some of the confidence that allowed her to win againt Ann Margaret in the early rounds.

Sherry Jackson vs Adrienne Barbeau
Adrienne is mad as a drunken sailor after losing to Elvira by the narrowest of margins and she makes Sherry pay for that in the worst kind of fashion. I see Adrienne beating the crap out of Sherry and turning her face into a bruised mess. Even when Sherry crumbles down on the floor, Adrienne just keeps on pounding her brains out until she gets tired and kicks the battered opponent to claim the ultimate success.

Elke Sommer vs Farrah Fawcett
Elke turns into vicious mode in this one and destroys Farrah in a quick fight. Any chances for Farrah pulling off an upset are next to none.

Jill St. John vs Loni Anderson
Jill is still in the mix for the overall title and pummels Loni's stomach so hard, the blonde goes down and can't come back anymore. Loni's breasts won't be used to smother her opponent this time around as Jill is simply too big and aggressive.

Barbara Bach vs Britt Ekland
Barbara's win over Stefanie Powers allows her to show some bravery and take command in this fight. As a result she punches Britt Ekland's guts out. The blonde has enjoyed some success earlier but now it's down to taking rough treatment from her opponents again allthough a loss to Barbara Bach would be as twice as painful as some of the power houses of the competition.

Elvira vs Tuesday Weld
Tuesday would be better off with that big purse she'd used to thump Sherry Jackson with, but unless she mistook Elvira for Sherry's twin sister, it's all for nothing anyway because Cassandra is just too wild and aggressive for the blonde's liking and this fight ends with Elvira sitting on top of Tuesday and mauling her breasts into a painful submission.

 

[djcrash]

The upset of the round will see Loni gives Jill a real good beat down. Dian with a narrow win over Martine is the best fight in this round. Adrienne smothers Sherry for the most erotic in this round.

[Glamour Fights]

A brief synopsis of the fights:

Dian Parkinson 43 vsMartine Beswick 45: An eye candy fight of two beauties, one blonde and one brunette (even black haired). Both the same weight and close in age. Dian 2" taller than Martine but that can be a determent in fighting/wrestling. The fight turned out to be 2nd closet fight this round. Back and forth, blonde hair here and brunette hair there, slaps stunning one and then the other. High kicks knocking one down only for the opposite to occur. Martine won by getting Dian down and wrapping a big clump of blonde hair around her hand. She pulled so hard that Dian screamed her surrender. Hair pulling hurts but usually doesn't cause a surrender but Martine shows what she can do when she puts all her strength and weight into ripping hair out.

Annette Funicello 48 vs Goldie Hawn 42: Annette and Goldie once again showed you don't have to be one of the top fighters to produce an entertaining, hard fight. All these women have pride and don't tell anyone of them they don't belong in this contest. Annette sees herself paired with Tuesday Weld as someone to beat in the rankings. One was a brunette teenage sweetheart and one was a blonde teenage sweetheart.  Goldie is trying to stay out of last place, a distinction she doesn't think she even comes close to deserving. The fight took place on the beach and Miss Beach Blanket showed she knows her way around the sand better than Goldie did. It was a good win and Annette enjoyed kicking sand in Goldie's face, something she has had done to herself on occasions.

Edy Williams 41 vs Sharon Tate 45: Many consider this a big upset. Edy has the size (2 inches and 16 pounds - 14% over Sharon's weight) and most likely the strength over Sharon. But Sharon seems to have developed into a skilled fighter having won her last four fights, against bigger and/or heavier women. What ever she has learned she used to effectively against Edy. It was still a close fight but Sharon upended Edy onto her ass several times until she tired Edy out enough to pin her with a jack knife pin.

Sherry Jackson 32 vs Adrienne Barbeau 53: Adrienne is disgusted that so many "weak chickenshits" are ahead of her in the standings. She took her anger out on sweet Sherry Jackson - a soft looking brunette others seem to love beating up on. Sherry had no answer for the brutal onset by Adrienne who delighted in twisting her limbs, both legs and arms, until Sherry was crying.

Elke Sommer 58 vs Farrah Fawcett 34: Elke was having a great time beating up on the hapless Farrah. Then she heard that, incredible as it was, Senta had lost to Luciana. Elke then really turned the screws up on Farrah to ensure she would gain first place. If Farrah was looking for mercy she was not about to get it when the blonde marauder decided to give the blonde Angel the worst beating of the round.

Jill St. John 47 vs Loni Anderson 44: Both Jill and Loni are tired of hearing that neither deserve their current rankings. Both have heard they are too soft and not vicious enough to be ranked so high. Both answer, "we are were we are because we have won. Just because we are curvy, feminine looking, and pleasant to others doesn't mean we aren't tough and know how to fit." So the battle of the soft, curvy, feminine women took place with each wanting to prove they are tougher than they look. A fantastic fight tool place. It was the 3rd closest fight of this round. The gorgeous redhead would get the blonde down on her back and attack the hugest tits in the contest. The blonde would get the redhead underneath her and use her big weapons to try and smother the redhead. Liberal use of hair would allow one to roll the other over and reverse positions. Back and forth it went until Jill managed to trap Loni's breast between her "soft" thighs and show they weren't so soft after all. Could Jill be the sleeper of this tournament?

Barbara Bach 41 vs Britt Ekland 44: Another very close fight. Blonde Britt was up against either dark blonde or light brown haired Barbara in another fast and furious fight of lightweights. Because they are light, both are very quick and they was the dominant feature of this fight. Furious tossing and quick handed slaps prevailed. High leaps with high kicks pounded smaller breasts and compact rib cages. An interesting test of strength took place. Barbara and Britt entwined their forearms, reached their other arm around to lock up fingers. Then use leverage against their own arm to bend the other ones fingers back. Barbara had been getting the slight better of Britt prior to this and looked to be the eventual winner. But after 5 minutes of struggling back and forth, Britt won this contest. That seemed to take the heart out of Barbara and Britt pressed her advantage until Barbara begged her to stop.

Elvira 47 vs Tuesday Weld 43: Elvira fights sometimes as the raven haired beauty Elvira and sometimes as the even more gorgeous Cassandra Peterson. This time she came out as Elvira to contrast with the blonde Tuesday Weld.  No way did Elvira want to lose to a shrimp like Tuesday. As already noted, Tuesday was in her own side battle with Annette Funicello to see who would place above whom. Tuesday was ahead of Annette by a win and wanted to maintain that.  Elvira used her greater size to put the screws on Tuesday. But Tuesday ripped off Elvira's long, black wig and used it to choke her. Tuesday nearly choked Elvira unconscious before Elvira managed to pull the wig away from her throat. She then got a full body press and grapevine on Tuesday to eke out the win.