[Glamour Fights]

Click here for current standings and won/loss records

Normally I use a random selection process to order the fights so as not to consciously give preference to any fighter or any fight. This time I decided to feature the fights of the current top contenders so it is easier to see how they are progressing in their relative fights. There has also been a little twist added to the rules. A sex symbol cannot claim victory unless she forces her opposing sex symbol to admit that the winner is sexier and more beautiful than the loser. Some of these women would rather die or get permanently injured than admit that her hated rival is sexier and more beautiful.

Ann-Margret Olsson	Senta Berger
28 years old	28 years old
5'5" 120 pounds	5'5” 127 pounds
35D-23-35	38D-26-36
2nd 40pts 20-1-0	3rd 39pts 19-1-1

This should be one super fight. It could be for first place depending on what Elke Sommer does. Two tough women, two strong women, two great fighters, two determined women. And the loser has to admit her foe is sexier. This fight is definitely not for the weak of heart. Senta disses Ann-Margret “See, she knows my tits are better, that is why she hides them.” Ann-Margret retorts “ I don’t have to be so blatant for everyone to know my tits, face, hair,  body, ass, and legs are superior to Senta’s.” Both are looking pretty smug about their beauty and about winning.

Suzanne Somers	Elke Sommer
23 years old	29 years old
5'5½” 118 pounds	5'7" 125 pounds
35C-23-34	36B-22-36
17th 20pts 10-11-0	1st 40pts 20-1-0

Surprisingly Suzanne has her breasts fully covered as she has the larger rack even though Elke makes the most of her B cups with a push up bra. Elke cattily remarks “That’s because her tits are already sagging at the tender age of 23.” Suzanne counters “Elke will find out how firm my breasts are, don’t worry about that.” Expect another tough fight as Elke wants to stay in first place and Suzanne wants to crush her with her strong legs to move into the top half of the rankings.

Luciana Paluzzi	Sybil Danning
32 years old	22 years old
5'5" 122 pounds	5'7” 120 pounds
36C-24-36	36C-24-36
11th 29pts 14-6-1	4th 38pts 19-2-0

Luciana is strutting around proudly after beating the tough Senta Berger. She has confidence that now she can be anyone. She also believes her sexiness and beauty are second to none. One might think that Sybil Danning was humbled after losing to Ann-Margret. But that is not Sybil’s style. She is cockier than ever as can be see from her pose. Sybil believes she has the sexier and fitter body and intends to rip “the soft Italian” apart.

Diane McBain	Linda Evans
18 years old	27 years old
5'7" 118 pounds	5'8” 125 pounds
35C-23-34	34C-24-34
14th 24pts 12-9-0	5th 38pts 19-2-0

Sybil’s fortunes have waned recently, having lost two fights in a row to two redheads. She is itching to get her claws into fellow blonde Linda Evans who she considers just a pretender to the throne. She can see from the smirk on her face that she is planning some evil things for Linda. Linda has been quietly going about her business without making all the noises of the other leaders. She sits quietly contemplating on how best to win her fight with Sybil. She has decided to fight nude to silence critiques that say her body is not as good as the other top contenders. Or maybe she is proving a point to Sybil who Linda says “Is skinny as a toothpick and just as shapely.”

Goldie Hawn	Jill St. John
24 years old	29 years old
5'5" 118 pounds	5'6” 118 pounds
34B-24-36 pounds	36C-22-35
30th 3pts 1-19-1	6th 36pts 18-3-0

Goldie Hawn seems a little apprehensive and is already protecting her pussy. “That’s because Jill is jealous of it. She knows I am much better in bed than she is.” Claims Goldie. Jill is another quite beauty who has winning ways and is lurking in the shadows for the others to stumble. She stumbled herself against Ann-Margret but is back on track after than. Jill has chosen a bikini that shows off her super hour glass figure perfectly. She knows she is gorgeous and sexy without having to brag about it. She stands as if to say “Here I am, take it or leave it.” Goldie says “I’ll leave it. Why look at those huge hips. If mine are a 36 than hers must be at least 39 inches around. That 355 must be a lie and I’ll bet she’s lying about the size of her ugly tits also. Get me a tape measure. Just as well she has a fat ass for cushioning when I know her on it.” Jill snipes back “It’s going to really hurt when I knock her on her skinny ass. Oh, and those are the smallest 34Bs I’ve ever seen.”

Farrah Fawcett	Raquel Welch
22 years old	29 years old
5'5'½” 113 pounds	5'5” 118 pounds
33½B-22-33	37C-22½-35½
19th 18pts 9-12-0	7th 34pts 17-4-0

A blonde beauty against a brunette beauty. Farrah burst onto the scene as the blonde Angel with “That hair!” Raquel burst on the seen as a blonde cave girl. Now Raquel has gone back to brunette or reddish brunette hair. Both wear white bikinis (or is Raquel’s really lingerie?) to show off their bodies. Farrah says “my body is more athletic and firmer, Raquel seems to have a extra flab here and there.” Raquel looks shocked as answers “Where are her tits, where is her waist? She is jealous of my curvaceous body – a real woman’s body, not a boy’s.”  Who will force the other to admit the winner is sexier?

Loni Anderson	Annette Funicello
24 years old	27 years old
5'5” 120 pounds	5'3” 118 pounds
38E-25-36	36C-22-36
9th 30pts 14-5-2	21st 16pts 8-13-0

   
Annette Funicello was generally accepted as being the sexiest Mouseketeer in her day. They she became a very curvaceous young woman in all the beach movies. And who can forget their first glimpse of Loni Anderson as Jennifer Marlowe, curvaceous, sexy and smart. And her breasts just kept getting larger naturally until she had breast reduction done. Annette and Loni stand has on hips as if to say “I’m sexier!” Loni claims “Annette is going to get buried under my tits.” Annette isn’t amused. She says “She is nothing but an air head with tits. There is more to being beautiful and sexy than tits.”

Pam Grier (top)	Dian Parkinson (bottom)
20 years old	25 years old
5'8” 120 pounds	5'7" 128 pounds
38D-22-36	37D-23-37
10th 29pts 14-6-1	22nd 13pts 6-14-1

   
This has the makings of a great fight. a black vs a blonde, neither who like each other. Pam is arguably meaner and tougher and Dian has a slight weight advantage. She thinks she is just as strong or stronger than Pam. Both are extremely proud of their bodies and strip nude to leave nothing to the imagination. Well imagine these tow bodies in close contact rubbing against each other and trying to dominate the other. Excuse me while I go take an ice cold shower.

[Vassago]

My thoughts:

Ann Margaret vs Senta Berger
After beating Sybil Danning in the closests possible way, Ann Margaret goes one step further and smothers Senta Berger who is still in shock after losing to Luciana Paluzzi. This should be all about confidence and Ann Margaret probably thinks she's got one hand on the overall trophy now.

Suzanne Somers vs Elke Sommer
Elke stuns Suzanne with pure aggression and knocks her out in a brutal fight. Elke knows she really needs to pick her game before some ultimate test with other power houses of the comeptition. Her loss to Ann Margaret earlier is a worrying sign.

Luciana Paluzzi vs Sybil Danning
The fiery Italian is on a mission and follows through on Senta Berger's win by beating another tough woman. This could turn into a vicious punchfest but Luciana attacks's Sybil's stomach and sends her rolling on the floor in pain.

Diane McBain vs Linda Evans
Linda confirms her sleeper status by making quick work of Diane who gets mauled into a mix of exhaustion and frustration. Linda doesn't get a single scratch from this fight and looks on for some more challenging opponents.

Goldie Hawn vs Jill St. John
No contest here, Goldie gets thrown around all over the place by Jill who might threaten one of the biggest beatdowns of the entire round.

Farrah Fawcett vs Raquel Welch
Raquel has reached the new level of malice and claims she hates Farrah even more then Martine Beswick, so this could turn into a raw slugfest with Raquel ripping the blonde's hair out and beating her into a complete mess.

Loni Anderson vs Annette Funicello
Blonde easily smothers the petite brunette as Annette is plain and simple weaker then Loni and won't stand a chance IMO.

Pam Grier vs Dian Parkinson
Another brutal fight in the proccess as Pam decides she won't fool around with this blonde and give her a straight-forward pasting.

 

[djcrash]

A number of humiliation type of fights in this round, Pam has Dian on the ground with her legs in the air, while holding Dian by the ankles Pam splits the uprights. Loni makes Annette into a pony then goes for a ride. Luciana gets a lesson in humility from Sybil, while practicing her begging skills. Goldie kicks scratches and claws Jill into tears, right after Goldie rips out some red hair from above and below the waistline. The best fight of the round would see Senta exhausted and barely able to get Ann to submit. Most erotic fight has Raquel smothering Farrah, then using her as a play toy. 

[Glamour Fights]

Updated 24 September2010 (Results adjudicated)
This round was marred by some massive interference from fans. The judges reviewed a replay of all fights and adjusted the scores accordingly. Fortunately no winners and losers switch positions but the difference in scores were affected. A panel is reviewing the rules of the tournament to address this problem should it occur in the future. All options are on the table from doing nothing to forfeiting the fight by the woman receiving too much help.

Scores are reflective of the scoring by the judges:

Ann-Margret 44 vs Senta Berger 47: This fight had everything with two strong, tough, skilled fighters going at it with all the had, leaving nothing on the table. Hairpulling, slapping, punching, kicking, and fantastic holds. The fight went back and forth with both women having a chance to win until Senta forced Ann-Margret to submit. Observers think that Senta proved to have as strong legs as Ann-Margret but eventually over powered her with greater arm strength.

Suzanne Somers 28 vs Elke Sommer 61: Elke is still angered over her loss to Ann-Margret and was thrilled to see Ann-Margret lose her second fight at the hands of Senta Berger. She wasted no time in beating the crap out of Suzanne Somers in the biggest beat down this round so she could go watch the Senta vs Ann-Margret fight. She is no dumb blonde as she was scouting Senta to see her strengths and weaknesses.

Luciana Paluzzi 39 vs Sybil Danning 49: Luciana had given Senta Berger her only loss and was confident about beating up on the bitchiest blonde, Sybil Danning. Sybil had other ideas and gave Luciana a real whomping, just missing the top five biggest beat downs. Luciana was quoted later as saying "I know us Italians are known for our viciousness, especially Claudia, Sophia, and Gina (in that order) but Sybil set a new level for dirty and nasty fighting for me. I wasn't prepared for such an attack." Sybil chimed in "Folks, you ain't seen nothing yet!"

Diane McBain 32 vs Linda Evans 57: Diane McBain is on the thin side but she wins most of her fights by trying to be more of a blonde bitch than Sybil is. She hones her claws and plasters them with lacquer to make them strong so they won't break. Linda is just one win behind the leaders and doesn't put up with nonsense from bitches. Just ask Joan Collins. Her strength and catfighting abilities overwhelmed Diane's nastiness and dirty tricks.  You can''t fight dirty when put on the ground with some hard punches. Linda proceeding to beat the dazed Diane up for the fifth worst beat down this round.

Goldie Hawn 33 vs Jill St. John 58: Goldie Hawn has displayed some awesome biceps, nothing that Jill St. John can match. But still she doesn't get any respect. Jill didn't show her any respect either. Jill gave Goldie a lesson in catfighting that the size of the biceps means little. The super sexy redhead used her legs in one hold after another to punish Goldie and give her the sixth worst beat down this round.

Farrah Fawcett 43 vs Raquel Welch 47: Raquel's many fans were looking forward to this fight to see Raquel tear the weak Farrah apart. One suspects that Raquel also was overconfident. Farrah gave her a tough fight that started to give Raquel doubts. Apparently Raquel's fans were concerned also as they pulled Farrah off what may have been a winning position. Getting up Raquel delivered a tremendous kick to Farrah's head that sent her flying. Farrah was out cold when she landed. The judges reviewed the action and let the final result stand as Raquel has often been in trouble but usually finds a way to escape and come back to win. She is a true fighter. This turned out to be the third closest fight of the round.

Loni Anderson 56 vs Annette Funicello 31: Annette was probably the only one who thought she had a chance against Loni who had beaten Sybil Danning. Even Frankie Avalon had his doubts.  Instead of using her enormous breasts Loni used all sorts of holds on Annette's weaker arms to keep her in pain and begging for mercy. Loni still has some hopes of coming out on top or at least in the top five so she showed a nastiness not seen before in continuing to torture poor Annette to be awarded the fourth worst beat down of the round.

Pam Grier 45 vs Dian Parkinson 42: Pam Grier loves destroying everyone but long legged, bigger, gorgeous blondes are her favorite target. Dian Parkinson fits the bill so expectations were that Pam would come out and just rip Dian apart. after all even tough Dian had eight pounds on Pam, her record was not very good and few gave her any chance against a vicious catfighter like Pam. Turns out Dian was the first aggressor. When Pam came at her she was met by a fist in the mouth from Dian. That split Pam's lip and slow her down. Dian continued to land some hard punches and it took all of Pam's tricks and nastiness to pull out a victory in surprisingly the second closest fight of the round.