Katy Perry was quickly becoming a buzzed about star based on her impressive in-ring skill. While many wondered if the top-heavy pop singer could deliver on the mat, her domination of Mila Kunis and shocking one-sided victory over Anne Hathaway had set her up as one of the true rising stars of the industry.
This fact did not sit well with many of the more established women, who constantly felt threatened when it came to their spot. The worst kept secret in show business is that women become less marketable day by aging day as the fans happily flock to someone newer and younger. Perry’s sexually charged offense and crowd pleasing antics had drawn the ire of many of the top competitors, including Angelina Jolie, Charlize Theron, Katherine Heigl and Jessica Biel.
Through unofficial backchannels, the message was spread: take out Katy Perry.
Perry herself was blissfully unaware of the gathering storm surrounding her. She just loved the attention and relished the newfound spotlight. Her albums were sustaining sales, a sure sign of her increasing fame, and her pictures were now fixtures in the celebrity magazines. She had arrived, and couldn’t wait for her next challenge.
The promoters quickly realized that she was a rising phenomenon, but the risk of putting her in the ring with a top draw had very little upside. If she were to go out there and beat an established star without fully proving herself, it would ruin that star’s viability while prematurely inflating Katy’s own drawing power. The key was selling tickets, and while Perry against Biel or Perry against Theron would draw eyeballs, it could make a lot more money once Katy was seen less as a rookie phenomenon and more of a legitimate contender.
Another concern the promoters had was the now lack of viability from Anne Hathaway. Her humiliating loss essentially made her a nonfactor, so the plans to put her towards the top of the card were quickly erased. Katy Perry seemed tailor-made for that spot, since she was the one who took Anne down a peg. But just to be sure, the promotion set her up for a fairly mundane squash match to test her marketability. People would pay to see Katy against a star, but would they pay to see her when she was the marquee name?
From the pool of low level jobbers, the promoters chose the petite blonde Hayden Panettiere. With her show off of the air and little of note on the horizon, the feeling was that there was no risk in throwing her to the wolves.
On the night of the fight, the promoters were shocked and pleased at the incredible turnout. Tickets for the Perry/Panettiere fight sold out in moments, as the most buzzed about new name in wrestling showed that she was a big draw.
Hayden Panettiere was ignorant as to why she was chosen for the fight. At 5’1, the fair-haired girl was not considered to be a serious threat to any of the main event stars in the promotion. Her viability up until this point had been in matches against other smaller opponents, which is why she thought she was getting bumped up to the big leagues. In honor of the match, she went out and got new ring attire; a modified cheerleading outfit with her initials on the top like a high school team and panties that read “Smells Like Victory” on the front. Her management team convinced her that they could catch on as a true novelty and create another revenue stream.
Hayden was introduced first and she was able to get her first view of the very pro-Perry crowd. Still, she waved her pom-pom and waved as she strolled down to the ring. The fans booed her, at which point her innate bitchiness kicked in. One doesn’t become a cheerleader without certain defenses against criticism, so Hayden replaced her waiving hand with a waiving middle finger.
“Fuck you!” a fan yelled, obviously not pleased with the one-finger salute.
“You wish,” she scoffed as she shrugged her head and flashed a satisfied smirk.
The lights in the arena dimmed as the audience erupted in cheers. After some impressive lasers and pyro, Katy Perry walked through the curtain. She was wearing her now trademark leopard thong bikini and holding a pompom of her own, mockingly waving it to the beat of her song.
As Katy made her way down to the ring, she stopped at the fan who was heckled by Hayden. She listened to him complaining about his treatment and she mockingly waved a disapproving finger at Hayden before giving the fan a kiss on the cheek. She climbed into the ring and again shook the pom-pom towards Hayden, who gave Perry a closer look at the middle finger.
Katy asked for a microphone. “You know, I thought cheerleaders were, like, supposed to make us wanna stand and cheer. All you make me wanna do is sit…on your face.” While the insult wasn’t exactly Twain, it was enough to get the crowd to chant her name.
Hayden was frustrated and decided to take action. She charged Katy, who was handing the microphone to a production guy ringside. Panettiere struck Perry in the back with a blind forearm, slamming Katy into the corner. The impact of the blow combined with the force of the collision stunned Perry as Hayden seized the moment to reign down on her with small fists of fury.
The referee pulled Hayden off of Katy as the small wildcat was still kicking her arms and legs while being dragged away. Katy rubbed her sore neck as her cheery demeanor quickly faded. If Hayden wanted to fight dirty, she was going to get the same in return.
The ref called the girls to the middle of the ring, furious that his authority was challenged by Hayden. As he talked about the rules, it was suddenly apparent that the 5’9 Perry was towering over the 5’1 Panettiere. “Once that bell rings, I want you to obey all of my commands, got it?”
“Of course. As soon as the bell rings, I won’t do this,” Katy replied as she jabbed her thumb into Hayden’s eye. The blinded Panettiere put one arm up to cover her face while she swung wildly with her other arm. Katy grabbed the flying wrist and whipped Hayden into the corner, chest first. Hayden’s breasts slammed into the middle turnbuckle before she bounced off and fell to the floor. “Ref, you might wanna ring the bell now,” Katy said with her freshly returned cheerful disposition.
The ref obliged and the match was officially starting, despite the fact that Hayden was on her back. Katy reached down and yanked Panettiere off of the mat by her blonde hair before whipping her into the ropes. The petite girl bounced off the cables and was flung forward towards a waiting Perry, who leveled her with a clothesline.
Again, while Hayden was looking up at the lights, Katy was nice enough to haul her to her feet by her golden tresses. Perry stuck one hand between her legs and scooper her up for a slam. Katy held the girl in midair as she paraded around the ring. Hayden kicked her legs in protest, but it did little good. Finally, after escorting her to all four corners, Katy executed a devastating bodyslam.
The petite blonde bounced hard against the mat. Hayden’s face was scrunched in pain as she held her throbbing back. Katy rolled her onto her stomach with ease, demonstrating that she was in complete control of the match. She pulled Hayden’s hair again, forcing Panettiere onto her knees. Perry stopped it there, leaving the cheerleader on all fours. “You’re like my little puppy,” Katy teased as she tugged on Hayden’s hair, dragging her forward like she was attached to a leash.
Hayden crawled involuntarily for a few seconds, seemingly playing along with the humiliation. Then, when she saw Katy’s eyes turned to the throngs of admirers, she seized her moment. Panettiere grabbed Perry’s ankle and pulled upward, sending the towering brunette to the mat. Hayden then pounced on top of her, again reigning down with punches to Katy’s back and head.
Katy realized she had to roll onto her stomach, which was proving difficult since Hayden was hammering her with punches and knees. “You’re not so tough when you’re on the mat, slut!” the blonde yelled as she connected with unprotected lefts and rights.
Realizing her peril, Perry began to roll up to shield herself. As she started to contort herself into a ball, Hayden relented. The smaller girl hopped to her feet, now content to simply put the boots to Katy’s body. Hayden then bounced off of the ropes before dropping an elbow on Perry’s back. Katy lurched upward, as the crux of Panettiere’s elbow hit her.
Gaining confidence, Hayden decided to try it again. She bounced off the rope, but as she started to drop her elbow, Katy rolled out of the way. Instead of driving her attack into Perry, she slammed her arm into the unforgiving canvas. Hayden held her damaged arm as she let out a wail, which gave Katy enough time to get to her feet.
