[snw]

Your bf’s/husband’s ex wants him back. Aware of his attractive to female wrestling/ catfighting, or just something as simple as arm wrestling. She challenges you in front of him to go at it. She presents it as friendly competition while he is standing there. Maybe you bragged to him about taking his ex easily in any such competition since you learned of his turn on. Not sure you can win or maybe doubt seriously you will what do you do?

[sinclairfan]

Your bf’s/husband’s ex wants him back. Aware of his attractive to female wrestling/ catfighting, or just something as simple as arm wrestling. She challenges you in front of him to go at it. She presents it as friendly competition while he is standing there. Maybe you bragged to him about taking his ex easily in any such competition since you learned of his turn on. Not sure you can win or maybe doubt seriously you will what do you do?

If the three of us are in a social setting having a friendly conversation, she's already won a skirmish and I need to let her know that's not happening again.  I need to spell out to her that she's not my friend, she's not his friend, and there's no communication--verbal, text, Facebooking @-ing--that needs to occur.

Even divorced couples passing off physical custody of the kids at 4pm on Sunday handle it like some Cold Way hostage swap--in No Man's Land of some neutral site, with no chit chat.

Any ex wanting any thawing of relations has ill intent.  Don't let her get any ideas that there's any hope of it blossoming.  Let her consider you the bitchy wife.  It's better than being the doormat wifey.

[snw]

Your bf’s/husband’s ex wants him back. Aware of his attractive to female wrestling/ catfighting, or just something as simple as arm wrestling. She challenges you in front of him to go at it. She presents it as friendly competition while he is standing there. Maybe you bragged to him about taking his ex easily in any such competition since you learned of his turn on. Not sure you can win or maybe doubt seriously you will what do you do?

If the three of us are in a social setting having a friendly conversation, she's already won a skirmish and I need to let her know that's not happening again.  I need to spell out to her that she's not my friend, she's not his friend, and there's no communication--verbal, text, Facebooking @-ing--that needs to occur.

Even divorced couples passing off physical custody of the kids at 4pm on Sunday handle it like some Cold Way hostage swap--in No Man's Land of some neutral site, with no chit chat.

Any ex wanting any thawing of relations has ill intent.  Don't let her get any ideas that there's any hope of it blossoming.  Let her consider you the bitchy wife.  It's better than being the doormat wifey.

In the first instance where it’s friendly what do you mean by she’s won a skirmish and then how do you let her know it’s not happening and save face in front of him?

[sinclairfan]

"Winning a skirmish":  In the Napoleonic wars, 2/3rd's of the battle was the pre-fight marching and combining of corps and armies, artillery and cavalry and infintry, so that when the first shots were fired, your combined forces were the larger.  Or think about when Presidents Xi and Biden shook hands recently; Xi's advance team made sure Xi was standing center stage and Biden needed to approach him, not vice versa.

Well, an 'all 3 of us together' social event with his ex is similar--the context of the event is everything [and just as treacherous--meaning, the ex must be assumed to be using the occasion to sow mischief].
> Under no circumstances can the seating/standing be such and he and she are sitting adjacent--I must be between them at all times.
> She cannot whisper unheard asides between them.
> Any anecdote requiring a backstory must be fully explained before the story gets to its punchline.  [Nothing worse than later, when I'm back alone with him, asking him 'What did she mean when she said xxxxx? (...and I was just standing there with a dumb smile on my pretty face).]
> Stay more sober than her.
> If her face is breaking out, be merciless with that.  Dare her to make comparisons between her body and yours.
> No, you do not have any plans to unblock her of social media anytime in the foreseeable future.
> Any changes to financial terms will go thru the attorneys, thank you.
> No, actually I didn't have a better time than I expected.
> No, actually I did find this awkward, or at least uncomfortable, and will contnue to do so.
> Towards the conclusion, when she says 'We MUST do this again,' be non-comittal:  'Maybe,' 'We'll see what happens,' 'He and I will talk about it.'

Again, go back to the scenario of the civil, well-adjusted divorced couple/(s) doing the weekend custody exchange with the kids.  It's all-business.  There's no long conversations.  There's no witty banter.  There's no cheese and cracker platter.  The minimal required interraction required by the Court.

[snw]

"Winning a skirmish":  In the Napoleonic wars, 2/3rd's of the battle was the pre-fight marching and combining of corps and armies, artillery and cavalry and infintry, so that when the first shots were fired, your combined forces were the larger.  Or think about when Presidents Xi and Biden shook hands recently; Xi's advance team made sure Xi was standing center stage and Biden needed to approach him, not vice versa.

Well, an 'all 3 of us together' social event with his ex is similar--the context of the event is everything [and just as treacherous--meaning, the ex must be assumed to be using the occasion to sow mischief].
> Under no circumstances can the seating/standing be such and he and she are sitting adjacent--I must be between them at all times.
> She cannot whisper unheard asides between them.
> Any anecdote requiring a backstory must be fully explained before the story gets to its punchline.  [Nothing worse than later, when I'm back alone with him, asking him 'What did she mean when she said xxxxx? (...and I was just standing there with a dumb smile on my pretty face).]
> Stay more sober than her.
> If her face is breaking out, be merciless with that.  Dare her to make comparisons between her body and yours.
> No, you do not have any plans to unblock her of social media anytime in the foreseeable future.
> Any changes to financial terms will go thru the attorneys, thank you.
> No, actually I didn't have a better time than I expected.
> No, actually I did find this awkward, or at least uncomfortable, and will contnue to do so.
> Towards the conclusion, when she says 'We MUST do this again,' be non-comittal:  'Maybe,' 'We'll see what happens,' 'He and I will talk about it.'

Again, go back to the scenario of the civil, well-adjusted divorced couple/(s) doing the weekend custody exchange with the kids.  It's all-business.  There's no long conversations.  There's no witty banter.  There's no cheese and cracker platter.  The minimal required interraction required by the Court.

What happens if it’s say an ex gf and you’re the new gf with many friends around and it’s all in good fun? In some sort context of the gathering the ex playfully challenges the new to arm wrestle? Do you accept it and hope for the best or decline not wanting her to have some sort of win to possibly one up you?

[sinclairfan]

What happens if it’s say an ex gf and you’re the new gf with many friends around and it’s all in good fun? In some sort context of the gathering the ex playfully challenges the new to arm wrestle? Do you accept it and hope for the best or decline not wanting her to have some sort of win to possibly one up you?

Sorry for another answer by way of analogy / counterexample, but it seems most effective here.  Do you remember the pandemic-lockdown 6-part Michael Jordan documentary, 'The Last Dance'?  The NBA was trying to assemble The Dream Team to go to the Barcelona Olympics to bring back the Gold for the U.S., but Michael didn't care to be teammates with Isaiah Thomas.  But Michael couldn't say "I ain't playin' with Isaiah" without coming off as the bad guy.  So, what did he do?  He simply said, "Who all is playin'?"  That's it.

Well, same thing works with a post-breakup party.  If you're the new girl, you cannot be at a girl party with the ex.  So, if invited anywhere, you say, "Who all is goin'?".  If the girls inviting you don't know exactly who you mean, they don't have your back, so skip the party.

You can't let the ex get you into a position where she can dhow you up, or attempt to show you up, in public.

Always ask, "Who all is playin'?".

[CarliCF]

"Winning a skirmish":  In the Napoleonic wars, 2/3rd's of the battle was the pre-fight marching and combining of corps and armies, artillery and cavalry and infintry, so that when the first shots were fired, your combined forces were the larger.  Or think about when Presidents Xi and Biden shook hands recently; Xi's advance team made sure Xi was standing center stage and Biden needed to approach him, not vice versa.

Well, an 'all 3 of us together' social event with his ex is similar--the context of the event is everything [and just as treacherous--meaning, the ex must be assumed to be using the occasion to sow mischief].
> Under no circumstances can the seating/standing be such and he and she are sitting adjacent--I must be between them at all times.
> She cannot whisper unheard asides between them.
> Any anecdote requiring a backstory must be fully explained before the story gets to its punchline.  [Nothing worse than later, when I'm back alone with him, asking him 'What did she mean when she said xxxxx? (...and I was just standing there with a dumb smile on my pretty face).]
> Stay more sober than her.
> If her face is breaking out, be merciless with that.  Dare her to make comparisons between her body and yours.
> No, you do not have any plans to unblock her of social media anytime in the foreseeable future.
> Any changes to financial terms will go thru the attorneys, thank you.
> No, actually I didn't have a better time than I expected.
> No, actually I did find this awkward, or at least uncomfortable, and will contnue to do so.
> Towards the conclusion, when she says 'We MUST do this again,' be non-comittal:  'Maybe,' 'We'll see what happens,' 'He and I will talk about it.'

Again, go back to the scenario of the civil, well-adjusted divorced couple/(s) doing the weekend custody exchange with the kids.  It's all-business.  There's no long conversations.  There's no witty banter.  There's no cheese and cracker platter.  The minimal required interraction required by the Court.

What happens if it’s say an ex gf and you’re the new gf with many friends around and it’s all in good fun? In some sort context of the gathering the ex playfully challenges the new to arm wrestle? Do you accept it and hope for the best or decline not wanting her to have some sort of win to possibly one up you?

We all know it is not a playful challenge, the arm wrestle unless you destroy her easily will be a nhb catfight and no doubt she came dressed prepared and picked a time you did not. Worse still in my case when I fuck I always say how I would rip his ex’s apart so I would be stuck, but want to fight her shit my nipples would be hard.

[JT Edson]

"Winning a skirmish":  In the Napoleonic wars, 2/3rd's of the battle was the pre-fight marching and combining of corps and armies, artillery and cavalry and infintry, so that when the first shots were fired, your combined forces were the larger.  Or think about when Presidents Xi and Biden shook hands recently; Xi's advance team made sure Xi was standing center stage and Biden needed to approach him, not vice versa.

Well, an 'all 3 of us together' social event with his ex is similar--the context of the event is everything [and just as treacherous--meaning, the ex must be assumed to be using the occasion to sow mischief].
> Under no circumstances can the seating/standing be such and he and she are sitting adjacent--I must be between them at all times.
> She cannot whisper unheard asides between them.
> Any anecdote requiring a backstory must be fully explained before the story gets to its punchline.  [Nothing worse than later, when I'm back alone with him, asking him 'What did she mean when she said xxxxx? (...and I was just standing there with a dumb smile on my pretty face).]
> Stay more sober than her.
> If her face is breaking out, be merciless with that.  Dare her to make comparisons between her body and yours.
> No, you do not have any plans to unblock her of social media anytime in the foreseeable future.
> Any changes to financial terms will go thru the attorneys, thank you.
> No, actually I didn't have a better time than I expected.
> No, actually I did find this awkward, or at least uncomfortable, and will contnue to do so.
> Towards the conclusion, when she says 'We MUST do this again,' be non-comittal:  'Maybe,' 'We'll see what happens,' 'He and I will talk about it.'

Again, go back to the scenario of the civil, well-adjusted divorced couple/(s) doing the weekend custody exchange with the kids.  It's all-business.  There's no long conversations.  There's no witty banter.  There's no cheese and cracker platter.  The minimal required interraction required by the Court.

What happens if it’s say an ex gf and you’re the new gf with many friends around and it’s all in good fun? In some sort context of the gathering the ex playfully challenges the new to arm wrestle? Do you accept it and hope for the best or decline not wanting her to have some sort of win to possibly one up you?

We all know it is not a playful challenge, the arm wrestle unless you destroy her easily will be a nhb catfight and no doubt she came dressed prepared and picked a time you did not. Worse still in my case when I fuck I always say how I would rip his ex’s apart so I would be stuck, but want to fight her shit my nipples would be hard.

CarliCF
It's statements like this that help explain why I vote for you so much in your poll fights.