It's hard to believe that it's been 10 years since I first met and tangled with Rowan Chance. Along the way we've done some crazy, wild shenaxxxxns together. And to commemorate this milestone, I present to you, the log of our very first match.
ANNOUNCER #1: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for inviting us into your homes! Tonight we have a special feature: a mixed wrestling match. The crowd favorite, Rowan Chance is taking on the villainous masked man Red Enforcer.
ANNOUNCER #2: Yeah, let's see if the nimble little spider can catch the Enforcer her in her web. I don't think she can! Many have tried before and the Enforcer has broken them all!
ANNOUNCER #1: Well, the time for talk is over and now it's time for the match...
RED ENFORCER
*Waits behind the curtain as the strains of Cumbersome by Seven Mary Three begin and I start my slow walk to the ring. I adjust my crimson mask and stride, arms out, basking in the boos of the fans as i make my way to the ring. I get up on the apron and wipe my boots off sarcastically as I go to my corner and warm up my 5'11 187lbs frame. I'm dressed in black tights, black boots and black kneepads and the crowd continues to jeer me as I start mouthing off to some of them while awaiting my opponent*
ROWAN
*Behind the curtain, I lift one leg and stretch it above my head. Then, I hop a few times as my own music starts: Joan Jett's cover of "AC/DC." I step out and the crowd roars and jumps up and down. I stand on the top of the stage, drop down into splits and rise back up again, my arms above me as explosions cue with my movements. Then, I move down to the ring, slapping hands as I go. I step up to the ring apron and lift one leg above my head, put it over the top rope and swing over into the ring. I walk to the center, spin around in a dance move and let the crowd cheer. Then, I look at you with a dark glare...
RED ENFORCER
*I chuckle as I see you do your little dance number to get the crowd on your side. It is impressive, but this ain't ballet and I'm panning on showing you jus tthat in the match. I get myself warmed up and muscles loose and move towards the center of the ring where you stand staring at me. I shake my head and say just for you to hear "Those moves might win Dance Dance Revolution, but they won't do much here." I look over at the ref, wanting the bell to ring already*
ROWAN
*I look up at you. You're a lot taller than I expected. I don't smile.* "Big man," I whisper. Then, I say, "Big fall." That's when the ref rings the bell.
RED ENFORCER
*I laugh and move in to respond as the bell rings...but instead I fire up my right leg, looking to drive my thigh and my knee up hard into your midsection.*
ROWAN
Your leg thrusts up to my midsection covered by my tight black sports top with the red spider logo, and I flip over it, spinning just to your left. I land on my feet, my black boots laced with blood red laces going all the way up my legs to just below my knees. My long brown hair braided down my back flips with me and I throw an elbow, padded, at your side.
RED ENFORCER
*I smile as I watch you deftly avoid the blow with an outrageous expense of energy. And in those boots even. As I turn to face you I see an elbow headed my way. I'm too slow to avoid the hit so i move my arm to protect my ribs and get hit by it mostly in my abs. I grunt and respond by trying to grab you by your elbow pad and arm while sticking my leg out behind you and trying to haul you over my hip and onto the mat for a decent collision*
ROWAN
You grab my arm and elbow pad and I feel you using my own momentum against me. I try to resist, but you're too strong. I go flying over your hip and slam onto the mat, flat on my back. The audience boos. You can hear me curse under my breath as I try lifting my legs up to wrap around your neck.
RED ENFORCER
I take a moment to rub the dull ache out of my abs from your elbow and enjoy the crowd's boos as I take down their favorite. I chuckle as I hear your curse and then see your legs coming up at me, towards my neck. I decide to let them get there as I bend down towards you and reach out for your arms. I can feel your legs around my neck, but I ignore them for now as I grunt and try and pull you up into the air with your arms.
ROWAN
You grab my wrists and pull me straight into the air, high above your head. I knew you were strong, but I didn't know you were THIS strong. And I know exactly what's coming if I don't do something FAST. With panther speed, I arch my back as far as it will go, hoping my momentum will pull you forward into a hurricanrana.
RED ENFORCER
I get you in the air and I fell confident I'm about to put some hurting on you. As I get you up, I get ready to slam you down really hard, but I put a little too much forward motion into it and feel you arching back, those strong legs of yours locking my head tightly and pulling me with you as I toss you down, forcing me to flip forward and hit the mat hard on my back....
ROWAN
The crowd pops hard and I land on my belly after the hurricanrana, catching my breath, knowing how close I came to taking a serious hit. I see you on your back and scramble across the mat on my hands and knee pads. I pop up in the air quick and spin, aiming you for a quick leg drop across the neck and chest.
RED ENFORCER
I feel my back hurting from the flip, but it's nothing I haven't felt before. I'm not sure where you are after so I wait. I hear your knee pads on the mat scraping and turn to see you coming at me, for what I figure is a pin attempt. However you pop in the air and go for a leg drop, not giving me a chance to dodge so instead I get my hands up and catch your leg with my hands as best I can, taking only a partial hit to my chest. Breathing hard, I try and get a better grip on your leg and try nad twist it, to at least give you some pain and force you to back off of me.
ROWAN
I feel you catch my leg just as it hits your chest and I feel your hands grab my ankle and twist. I try to turn into your grip, but a little too late. I do break your grip but I can feel a dull pain in my right ankle. As I get to my feet, I try to hide it, but the pain is there. "Walk it off," I whisper to myself as you get back to your feet.
RED ENFORCER
I notice that little hitch in your step and I grin, knowing I've got you vulnerable. I move in towards you again, cautiously now. My body starting to feel the heat of the arena and the lights as a sheen of sweat forms on my flesh. I close in on you, arms up, looking to see if you'll want to tie up now. But when i get in range, I try and sweep my left leg out against your right ankle to try and trip you up and do more damage to your limb.
ROWAN
I know I don't want to tie up with you, so I try to dodge it, but my ankle slows me down. Then, you sweep it and I fall to my back, hitting the mat. My left ankle stings and I grasp it out of instinct. That's when I curse again. You know you've gotten an advantage and I know you'll use it. I know this is a place I DO NOT want to be, so I try to roll away, outside the ring.
RED ENFORCER
As I close in on you after sweeping you to the mat, I see you rolling to the outside. I grin and let you because I know what's going to happen now. I exit so I'm behind you as you get to your feet on the outside. I rush behind you, as the crowd tries to shout a warning, my arm outstretched, looking to blast you hard in the back and neck with a stiff running clothesline.
ROWAN
My ankle is worse than I thought. I limp softly, my hand on the railing. The fans are screaming at me to turn around. At the last moment, I see your arm about to slam into me. Out of pure instinct, I jump on my bad ankle, screaming in pain as I do, my arm wrapping around your arm, swinging my body around your back, my other arm grasping your neck, trying to pull you down into my finisher: the Widow's Bite: a swinging, lucha style DDT.
RED ENFORCER
All my momentum is driving me forward and I'm shocked when I see you jump on that bad ankle and get around me, clamoring on me like some kind of contortionist before giving me a chance to react. I feel you getting an arm on my neck and trying to drive me downward, but I fight you off, pushing both of us forward, knowing the railing is close. As you try and pull me down, I work on moving us both towards the railing, looking to slam your back into it before you can drive my head into the floor.
ROWAN
I feel you fighting the move and pushing us toward the railing. My back slams into the metal and I lose my grip, but not before your head slams into the metal, too. For a moment, everhing goes white. I have no idea if you were able to protect yourself at the last moment or not, but red hot pain rushes up my back and shoulders as I crumple to the ground. Pain in my back and pain in my ankle. I have to get a moment to recover. Even a moment. But I have no idea what happened to you.
RED ENFORCER
As we neared the railing, I was able to get my hands up and slow myself while driving you in. My head is ringing, but I've taken harder chair shots. I feel you lose your grip on me and just collapse to the ground. I reach out for your hair, grabbing the braid with one hand and your head with the other, picking you up to your feet and leaning you against the railing. I grab either side of the railing beside you and lunge forward, my shoulder aimed for your exposed belly, looking to force the air out of you and injure that back of yours more.
ROWAN
I feel you lifting my head by my hair and there's nothing I can do... I'm still recovering. I feel my body put up against the railing. Then, you shoulder slams into my abdomen and my back slams against the metal railing. My back arches and my voice screams out, my hands splayed out behind the railing. My eyes are shut tight and my mouth wide open, gasping.
RED ENFORCER
I feel my shoulder burying itself into your body and hear you scream out. I can also hear your labored breathing. I know you're hurt and I need to press the attack. I pull my body back again, then with a little more fire as I've recovered some, I step forward and just ram my shoulder forward towards your belly again, putting even more of my weight into the blow.
ROWAN
I feel you back up and load up another shoulder block to my belly. At the last moment, I grab the railing with my hands and lift my knees just as you thrust forward, your eyes, nose and forehead heading straight for my knee pads...
RED ENFORCER
Just when I think I'm about to seriously hurt you, I feel my face slamming into your knee pads and I mash your body hard, but it ends up hurting me as well. I stagger back a step and then fall to the floor. My hands to my face to see if my nose is broken, hoping my mask prevented that. Trying to fight past my pain and not thinking about you at this moment.
ROWAN
My back against the railing, fighting through the pain, I look up and see the ref count, "SEVEN!" I blink twice, realizing what's about to happen. I leap forward on my right leg, grabbing your mask, trying to twist it around.
RED ENFORCER
I think I'm ok nose wise when all of a sudden I feel your hands on my mask, tugging and trying to twist, but it's not loose enough to do so and all you do is jerk my neck. That snaps me out of my stupor and I fire off a blind punch in the direction I'm being grabbed so I can try and get away when i hear the ref say "EIGHT!"
ROWAN
I easily dodge your blind punch and spin around to the ring. I jump up with both legs, pain rushing up my left ankle to my knee. I roll up, my left leg lifted off the ground as I hold myself up on the ropes. The ref counts "NINE!"
RED ENFORCER
When you let go, I turn over onto my hands and knees. I see you up on the apron, holding onto the ropes when the ref counts "NINE!" I can either try and make it myself or stop you. I grin like there was a choice and grab at your left ankle while it's in the air and I twist and jerk hard on it, trying to prevent you from making the count inside the ring.
ROWAN
I scream as you grab my ankle. Out of desperation, I grab at ANYTHING to keep you from pulling me out. That means, the Ref. He falls on his back and slides out with me, hitting the ground hard. Luckily, I land on him, breaking my fall. I see you looking down at me, a grin under your mask and I put my hands behind my head and push up, a thrust kick aimed directly at your chin.
RED ENFORCER
I watch as you drag the ref out with you. "That's one way of breaking the count" I think as I hang onto your leg and look at you and grin. I see your hands going behind your head as you look like you're tensing. I see and feel you pushing, your free foot coming for my chin. I try and avoid it, but can't catching it on the side of my chin. However, my attempt to dodge forced me to twist your ankle the wrong way again and as I stagger against the apron to keep up on my feet, I try and clear the cobwebs from your hard kick.
ROWAN
You fall against the apron, a clear moment of opportunity, but I can't capitalize on it as I clutch at my ankle, screaming in pain. The crowd is chanting my name, clapping in synch, and for a moment, I push passed the pain and pull myself--by the iron railing--to my feet. I look over at you, that dark glare returning to my eyes. I lock onto yours and whisper, "Is that all you've got, big man?" Goading you into a charge.
RED ENFORCER
I hear your words and I think about rushing you. But I remember how you've countered me in the past. So with a smile I say "No, I've got plenty more doll" I run towards you, but instead of a blind rush, I stop and leap into the air, aiming a dropkick at you, but not at your head and chest, but at your injured leg to try and hobble you even more.
ROWAN
I anticipated a charge or kick at my chest, but not at my legs. You fall on your back in front of me and I buckle forward, doubling over, clutching at my ankle. I fall forward, and without knowing it, my head veers toward your crotch... an unintentional head butt...
RED ENFORCER
UNNNFFFFFFF....Sudden sharp pain spikes in my body as your head collapses into my crotch. Reflexively I roll over to my back and my hands go to cover the injured area, but find your head instead. Angrily, yet gingerly I try and hold your head in place as I work on wrapping my legs around your head to try and crush you with a head scissor hold.
ROWAN
The crowd explodes with a loud "OHHHH!" as my head falls and smashes against you. I can feel you writhing in pain beside me. The ref is still out cold. I try to push myself back up, but then I feel your legs starting to wrap around my neck. I squeeze an arm in to block it... then another... I slowly use your legs to get to my feet. I'm looking down at you. I look at my position... I look at the crowd... and they're all chanting "DO IT! (clap clap) DO IT! (clap clap)" So, I raise an elbow, smile down at you and wink, and drop it between your legs.
RED ENFORCER
OOOHHHHHH SHHHHIIIITTTTTTTTTT....more pain this time as you drop an elbow down on my wide open package. My upper body jerks up as I gag from the pain, huddling up over my punished sack. My hands trying to cover up as i just sit there in tremendous pain from the blow. The crowd cheering your dirty tactics as revenge on the cheater they hate so much.
ROWAN
The crowd chants "ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME!" And I can't resist. But this time, I jump up on one leg, spread your legs apart, and drop both ankles down on your crotch. Unfortunately, that hurt me, too. After the move, I grab my ankle... my damn enthusiasm getting the better of me. I'm face down, my knees under me, my hands holding my ankle. My head pushes up just a little as the ref starts to stir.
RED ENFORCER
I fall back as you stand up and spread my legs again. My arms outstretched trying to get my hands to block the blow somewhat and you drive your ankles down on me. But I see you're hurt too. That ankle is still hurting you. I know I have to do something to slow you down , but I'm hurting too much to do something powerful. With the ref starting to stir I make a choice. I grab at your braid and smile as I clamor up on your back, wrapping your own hair under your neck as I try and wrap my arm around it as well. I'm trying to lock on what would look like a standard chin lock, but with your own braid pulling against your throat and hidden from view.
ROWAN
I feel my own hair wrapped around my throat, and then your strong arms. I feel the blood cutting off in my throat and I begin to choke. My hands scramble up behind me, trying to gain any kind of hold, but your damn mask keeps me from grabbing your hair. I'm not in a match now, not while the ref is out, but a FIGHT. I try to get to my feet, but the heavy weight on my back won't let that happen. The sides of my vision are going white. I'm losing consciousness. I have to find some way out... some way to fight... but I can't... everything going dark...
RED ENFORCER
I lean more onto your back and figure that curled up like this you can't breathe all that well to begin with. I start really squeezing my arm against your chin and neck harder while my other hand jerks up on your braid, feeling you trying to grab at me, but not finding a hold. I rise up just a little as I feel you trying to push up, but you can't. My chest and aching crotch are pressing into your back and holding you down as I have you trapped. "See bitch, you want to play rough? Well you have no idea what rough really is. You're lucky if all I do is put you out" I whisper into your ear.
ROWAN
Your voice in my ear awakens something inside me. Despite the pain in my ankle and the pain in my back and the tight grip around my throat, I push my legs under me, the pain in my ankle begging me to stop, and I kick up, trying to leap up over your head...
RED ENFORCER
I can feel you stirring again, this time with renewed vigor as you push up and then kick up. Your flexy bendy body moving up, making me lose my grip on your head as you slide up and try to get over me. I try and stop you by letting go of your braid and trying to snag something like your top or some piece of clothing.
ROWAN
With you behind me, I jump up. I flip backwards, using your own grip for balance. Then, I fall back behind you, pulling you down into a Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT), your head aimed straight for the floor, my ankle burning as I jump, my sore back ready for the floor.
RED ENFORCER
I feel you getting up and jumping behind me. I'm arched backwards, still tied up with you and I can feel pain coming. As you fall backwards, I try and push back as well, desperately trying anything to drive this move off course and not hit directly back on my head.
ROWAN
We both slam into the floor, my back stinging and my ankle burning. I don't know how much of the move you took... I'm still groggy from the blatant choke. I see the Ref getting to his feet, holding his head. I look down at you, holding your own head, rolling back and forth. I limp to the ring, climb inside with both arms and only one leg. The Ref looks at what's going on and he starts counting again. And as he does, I look at your still body. I could let him just count you out... but I've underestimated you too many times. The crowd is chanting and cheering, urging me on. I kick my bad heel against the mat, trying to walk off the pain.I turn around, charge toward the opposite ropes, run forward, my ankle objecting the whole way, and leap over the top rope toward your prone body.
RED ENFORCER
I lay back, stunned again from another impactful move. For a new fighter, you've gotten some experience somewhere and I've underestimated you. I see you clamboring into the ring and the ref gets back up. I think I'll just rest hear as the pain in my heads subsides. I can hear the crowd getting behind you and I hear the count going and I decide to stir. The crowd really starts yelling when I look into the ring and see you running. I can't imagine why until I see you taking a leap of faith and with a desperate strength, I rool away from the ring and towards the railing, looking to avoid your high risk move.
ROWAN
12:35 pm
I twist in the air into a senton, landing hard on your chest. But as I do, my left leg gets caught in the railing, twisting even further. I can feel all the air rush out of your body, but that doesn't matter. I just hurt my leg even more than you did. I roll off you, trying to stand, but I can't put any weight on it at all. The ref comes out and asks me if I want to continue, and I push him away. "KEEP COUNTING!" I scream at him. Then, I crawl to the ring and gingerly pull myself up by the ropes. The ref continues his count.
RED ENFORCER
Rolling didn't help and I fight for my breath. As I'm gathering myself, I hear the ref talking with you. I hear you yell at him as I turn over onto my belly. I see you crawling, one leg looking badly hurt. As I get to my feet on reflex now and pull myself up into the ring just before the count of ten. I'm lying on my back in the ring again, just under the ropes and trying to get my strength back to get up.
ROWAN
I see you climb into the ring and I try to make a run at you, but my leg gives out and I crumble to the mat. I can hear one announcer shout, "Just end the match! She's hurt! Come on!" The other one says, "Hey, if she doesn't say, 'I quit,' there's no reason to end it." The crowd is cheering for me and that helps me fight through the pain. I get back up on my feet, but I'm fighting on one leg. I can't even put any weight on my left. By the time I'm back up, you are, too. I hop back a step, waiting to see what you try next.
RED ENFORCER
Breathing hard and heavy, I am hurting, but I know you're in worse shape. I lean back into the ropes, seeing you up on only one leg. I grin and push off the ropes, charging towards you with no real plan except to get my hands on you and drive you into the corner or to make you dodge in such a way that hurts you even more.
ROWAN
As you charge, I leap up on one leg. I grab your left arm and use it like a gymnist, pulling up and over. That momentum carries me quick around and I slam both feet into your ankles, hoping to pull you forward, holding onto your arm, hoping to pull it out of joint.
RED ENFORCER
I get to you and you hippity hop over me. I'm frustrated at your jumping around and I'm ready to put an end to it. Then I feel your feet in my ankles and then you try and pull me forward. I've had enough of this and I drop straight down to my knees and turn into you, aiming a hard forearm into your left ankle while I feel you pulling at my arm.
ROWAN
You turn as I pull you down and your forearm slams into my ankle. My grip on your arm breaks and my eyes go wide and my mouth opens, but makes no sound. My whole body shudders and then stiffens. The ref asks me again if I want to continue and I have no answer. I can't speak. All I can do is shut my eyes tight and nod.
RED ENFORCER
Having both my arms free, I don't waste time. While the ref is asking you if you want to continue, I move over and grab your ankle with both my hands and pull up to trip you and twisting to try and flip you onto your belly. "You asked for this."
ROWAN
I feel your hands on my wrists and I can't keep my balance. I flip over on my belly and my ankle is in your hands. right there, in the middle of the ring. The crowd explodes into a loud "BOOO!!!!" and knowing what's about to happen, I try scrambling for the ropes.
RED ENFORCER
I step over your leg and straddle you as you lie there, trying to crawl for the ropes when I wrap one arm around your shin and calf pressing your leg into my chest while the other hand starts violently wrenching your foot the wrong way when I lock in the ankle lock. I lean back and yell at you. "You want to slam into my package, well you're gonna get punished."
ROWAN
I scream as you wrench my ankle, my hands pushing against the mat, my back arching up. The ref is in my face, asking me if I want to quit. I shout at him, "NO! NO!" There's a desperation in my voice. I won't let you submit me, but the pain is getting to be too much. I have to decide whether or not to risk a permanent injury. And with the League coming up, that is out of the question. I claw with my hands at the mat, trying to reach the ropes. Slowly, I'm moving both of us, but there's so much weight to pull. I'm getting closer... just another inch...
RED ENFORCER
I can feel you struggle, desperately yelling at the ref and fighting like a true champion. The crowd is behind you, yelling you to get to the ropes. You're so close, you can almost brush against them. And that's when I decide to rip all hope away from you by standing up and dragging you away from the rope and then scissoring your leg with my legs and ramping up the pressure on the ankle lock. "Tap you bitch! Tap!"
ROWAN
I feel you pull me away from the ropes, my hands desperately grabbing at the canvas. My brown hair stuck to my sweaty face, I'm screaming. The ref keeps asking me, but I shout, "NO!" back at him. I push myself up by my elbows... then, my hands... releasing some of the pressure... then, I flip under and try grabbing your ankles, hoping to turn into a surprise small package.
RED ENFORCER
Out of nowhere, you bend again in a crazy way and I findmyself suddenly on my back, shoulders to the mat. I'm past the point of caring about a win or a loss. I just want to make you hurt. I keep wrenching away even as we're rolled up and the ref starts his count. You might beat me today, but you'll know you lost.
ROWAN
You keep up the pressure on my ankle, even tied up in the pin. The ref counts "ONE!" and I can barely keep hold. Then, he counts, "TWO!" and I feel my grip slipping. His hand comes down for the three count and I don't know if I can hold on...
RED ENFORCER
The ref hits "THREE!" and the crowd explodes in cheers as their favorite has beaten me. They are celebrating amongst themselves when they realize we're still in the small package. I still have hold of your ankle and I'm bending the hell out of it. You're trying to get away, but I'm kicking and jerking at you to keep you from getting free. The ref tries to pull me off, but I ignore him. I'm keeping up the hold and looking to seriously injure you.
ROWAN
Two more refs run into the ring, trying to pull you off. The whole thing looks like a mess of bodies, with mine entertwined with yours. They're pulling all different directions and your hold tightens. I feel a sharp pain in my ankle and I know something is hurt. I scream out loud, unable to make any words. I hear you laugh and you continue to twist. All the crowd can see is a pile of bodies, all moving, trying to separate us as more people fill the ring. I can't escape. It's not just pain now, there's something wrong with my ankle. I can't get out ()...
... I look at you looking down at me. Your face smiling under your mask. I can't break the hold. The refs can't break the hold. You are going to break my ankle if you haven't already. So, I reach up, slip my fingers under your mask and PULL.
RED ENFORCER
I just hang on like a madman and ignore the refs trying to pull me off. I can feel your foot twisted more than it should and your screams are just music to my ears. Watching you write about in pain makes losing the match worth it. I look down at you, almost daring you to do something when you reach fingers under my mask and pull. From the heat and sweat of the match, my face has gotten slick and your desperate efforts force my mask to start sliding off. In sudden shock and fear, I let you go, grabbing at my mask and making sure it stays on. The refs swoop in and pull you away from me as I get my mask back on. They surround you as they try and get medical help to you. I go to leave the ring, standing as the crowd boos me unmercifully.
I go out of the ring and creep around to where they are about to load you onto a stretcher. I then pounce and press your leg onto the apron and start dropping forearms on your ankle before security and refs finally pull me free and start dragging me to the back.
ROWAN
The refs are dragging you to the back, the crowd is booing so loud, the announcers can't hear themselves. They want to put me on a stretcher, but I push them away. I grab a mic and shout into it, looking up the ramp. "Hey! RED ENFORCER!" I pull myself to my feet by the ropes, standing on only one leg, leaning in the corner. "I'm still here, you sorry son of a bitch! You didn't break me! You CAN'T break me!" The crowd pops huge and the refs and trainers are standing all around me, telling me to shut up, to let it go. "You may have broken my ankle," I shout into the mic. "But next time... I'm going to break your neck!" The refs and trainers are pushing you to the back and they take the mic from me and the crowd is going wild.
ANNOUNCER #1: Well, we've got the start of a war on our hands!
ANNOUNCER #2: Let me tell ya, Rowan may have one the first battle, but it may have cost her the war. And you better believe the Enforcer is going to take advantage of that wounded ankle next time!
ANNOUNCER #1: We will have to see what the General Manager says about all of this. But before we do that, it's time for a commercial break...
