[KateA]

Nero fiddled while Rome burned... I’ve been thinking a lot about that saying these past two weeks.

*Sigh*

Once upon a time, I had a really tight circle of core friends. There were eleven of us, and we were super close. But two weeks ago, two of my friends—whom I’ve known since middle school—had a falling out. This rift has had repercussions, and my core group of friends has since fractured. Smaller micro-cliques that were once hidden are now out in the open, throwing mud at each other.

I’ve done my best to stay out of it; I’ve never been a fan of friendship circle drama. I usually just sit back, let them argue it out, and then be there for the group hug when it’s all over. That has always been my position. Well, there will be no f*#%ing group hug this time. My WhatsApp friends group is, to say the least, extremely toxic, but that’s nothing compared to my DMs. As I write this, I struggle to think of a single friend who hasn’t messaged me to talk about another behind her back in relation to this drama.

So, with my staying-neutral strategy a failure, I’m going to have to pick a side and deal with the consequences... aren’t I? But that’s not so easy because I don’t believe the whole truth behind this situation has come to light. Currently, I’m only sure of two things: First, lies are being mixed with the truth, and the truth itself is being stretched to fit personal agendas. Second, this situation is giving me a f*#%ing headache!

However, I will say this: the root cause of all this drama appears to be “unsolicited advice of a personal nature.” I’m sorry, but this is all I can say for now. If I’m ever in a position to fill in the blanks, I will.

So then… why this post? Well, I’m simply hoping to hear from other women who’ve experienced similar situations. Maybe you have a happy story to share that’ll give me hope this can be resolved? Or perhaps you have a story about how it led to one almighty catfight? Or (God help me) maybe the situation was never resolved, and years later, you’re still walking on eggshells, trying to keep the peace?

As for my situation, I’m getting more and more convinced we’re heading toward that almighty catfight. I know this because I feel like starting it... my patience is exhausted

[sinclairfan]

In my early 20s (so, many decades ago) in Southern New England, there were 6 young couples in our cul de sac who broke away from the singletons for purposes of socializing and dining and entertainment.  One of the young wives, Denise, had a tween daughter, so if you did the math in your head, it was obvious that Denise had gotten pregnant in high school, and long before she was dating her new husband.  But she never shared the full story with our friend group, because she was waiting for her daughter to be mature enough to hear the story from Denise.

Well, another of the young brides in the group, Amy, started clashing with Denise, and started teasing Denise mercilessly about the circumstances of Denise's youthful single motherhood.  Amy and Denise started bickering constantly, which made our Group of 12 increasingly toxic and catty.

The other 4 young brides in the group felt pressure to be either Team Amy or Team Denise.  Team Denise finally won, since Amy was annoyingly bullying, and there WAS an innocent tween girl involved who was entitled to some privacy.

Denise got the ultimate revenge one day in the grocery store, when she was being creeped on by a harmless by lonely elderly gentleman.  Denise noticed Amy's husband, and to make the creeper "just go away", she presented Amy's husband was her own husband and gave him multiple kisses on the lips.  Denise then thanked Amy for the kisses Amy's husband had given her, and basically dared Amy to 'do something about it' if Amy had a problem with it.

Like all bullies, Amy blistered and huffed and puffed that she was going to kick Denise's ass, but wecdon't think she ever did.

But our Group of 12 broke up over the bickering.

[KateA]

In my early 20s (so, many decades ago) in Southern New England, there were 6 young couples in our cul de sac who broke away from the singletons for purposes of socializing and dining and entertainment.  One of the young wives, Denise, had a tween daughter, so if you did the math in your head, it was obvious that Denise had gotten pregnant in high school, and long before she was dating her new husband.  But she never shared the full story with our friend group, because she was waiting for her daughter to be mature enough to hear the story from Denise.

Well, another of the young brides in the group, Amy, started clashing with Denise, and started teasing Denise mercilessly about the circumstances of Denise's youthful single motherhood.  Amy and Denise started bickering constantly, which made our Group of 12 increasingly toxic and catty.

The other 4 young brides in the group felt pressure to be either Team Amy or Team Denise.  Team Denise finally won, since Amy was annoyingly bullying, and there WAS an innocent tween girl involved who was entitled to some privacy.

Denise got the ultimate revenge one day in the grocery store, when she was being creeped on by a harmless by lonely elderly gentleman.  Denise noticed Amy's husband, and to make the creeper "just go away", she presented Amy's husband was her own husband and gave him multiple kisses on the lips.  Denise then thanked Amy for the kisses Amy's husband had given her, and basically dared Amy to 'do something about it' if Amy had a problem with it.

Like all bullies, Amy blistered and huffed and puffed that she was going to kick Denise's ass, but wecdon't think she ever did.

But our Group of 12 broke up over the bickering.

So the circle of friends was broken up due to infighting… encouraging start for sure 

Thanks for sharing Sinclair.

Xoxo
Kate