vs.
"Hello again my friends and welcome to the World Wide Female Celebrity Wrestling Federation or the WWFCWF as we like to call it. I am your host for tonight's matches, Ryan Seacreast. And joining me is my good friend and co-host Kelly Ripa."
"Thanks Ryan and I think we have some great matches tonight but it's going to be hard to top last week's bouts."
"Tell me about it Kelly. Last week was one for the history books. First we had the hotly anticipated Jennifer Lawrence in her debut match. She was up against Blake Lively who had been on fire winning four of her first five matches and two of them against much more experienced opponents in Michelle Rodriguez and Halle Berry."
"Your exactly right Ryan, Blake was both the odds on and fan favorite to win that match. But not only did Jennifer win she absolutely dominated Blake; that was the truly shocking part of that fight."
"I agree. I don't think I'll ever forget the sight of Blake crying and begging for mercy as Jennifer applied submission hold after submission hold to her and broke her down. It will be quite a while before Blake gets back in the ring."
Ryan continued, "And then to follow up that shocker with a five-way free-for-all of Victoria's Secret supermodels. This bout was one for the ages as Miranda Kerr, Erin Heatherton, Adrianna Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Candice Swanepoel all faced off in a brutal match. At the end, with only Alessandra and Candice remaining but no one could prepare for the shocking ending when in burst retired fighter Giselle Bundchen to put a beat down on both of them. She made it clear that she was back from retirement and going to compete in the next Angel's rumble. She definitely wants that halo."
"That was quite a shocker Ryan, but those two incredible matches weren't even the main event of the night."
"No Kelly, it was the grudge match of the century as Jennifer Aniston finally got to face off against her hated rival Angelina Jolie. After years of this bout not coming to fruition most assumed it never would but when Jennifer began accusing Angie of ducking her, Angelina stepped up and accepted the challenge. And after what looked like a night that would go to Angelina in a technical display of wrestling that allowed her to dominate Jennifer for the first several minutes the ending will be something that is talked about for years."
"It will be Ryan. I mean, Jennifer is now facing an indefinite suspension for her use of an illegal finishing move and as of now we still don't know if Angelia Jolie will be able to have children ever again. And then, when Jennifer was interviewed after the WWFCWF ruled to possibly kick her out and she was asked if it was all worth it, her reply that 'damn right it was' was truly shocking."
"I know Kelly, it was truly one of the night's that will go down in history as one of the best ever, but let's move onto tonight's first match because it has the potential to be equally as entertaining. In our debut tonight, we have a very popular fighter who has been out of the limelight for a while returning in fight for the first time in over three years. Also, as her opponent we have the debut of a hugely popular singer who is sure to be a fixture for years to come."
"That's right; tonight's first bout is Sarah Michelle Gellar versus Selena Gomez. Now, Sarah, back in her Buffy heyday was a huge star and absolutely dominated the flyweight division with only a handful of losses on her record. But then, with the ending of her show she began to compete less and less until she stopped all together to have a child. Now, though Sarah is determined to make her comeback…how about we go over to Kelly who is with Sarah right now, Kelly…"
"Thanks Ryan, I am with Sarah ringside, "Now Sarah, why have you decided to come out of retirement to compete again?"
"Well, first thing Kelly, let me clarify, I never retired. Yes, I took some time off to have a child, but I always intended to come back. This is in my blood; I don't think I could ever walk away without feeling like a failure."
"But there are some people who wonder if this a good idea. They say since it has been so long since your last fight, maybe you should just stay away..."
"Well, I'd say to those people they should get in the ring with me then. Look, I was a two time WWFCWF flyweight champ! I'm the best there is and after what I am going to do to poor little Selena tonight, all those naysayers are going to be eating crow."
"You do seem to have a lot of hostility for Miss Gomez, why is that?"
"Well, it's nothing personal. She is just in my way is all. It wouldn't be any different no matter who my opponent tonight is. She's a stepping stone. A few matches to get back into fighting shape and I'll be ready to compete against the current crop of top talent and they better be ready."
"Well, thank you very much Sarah and good luck. And now Ryan, I understand that you are with Selena Gomez…"
"I am Kelly. So, Selena, are you nervous about your first big match?"
"No, not really. I have great trainers and I've been preparing for months."
"Are you concerned at all about the experience differential between you and your opponent, Sarah Michelle Gellar? She has over twenty matches under her belt and some are wondering if it is wise to take on someone of her caliber so soon."
"Look, I know she was a big deal like five years ago. I mean, I have watched a few of that Buffy show on Hulu and all, but frankly I don't see what the big deal is. She is like what, twenty-seven years old or something? I wish her the best but I think these older actresses and singers need to understand that their time has passed and they need to make way for the younger generation like me. And if she doesn't want to go quietly, that's okay. I can help her make that decision in the ring."
"There you have it folks. This looks to be a great match-up. Let's go to the ring…"
"Okay Kelly, it looks like the introductions are done and the referee is giving both Sarah and Selena their final instructions. They head to their corners to await the bell..."
DING!
Ryan begins his calling of the action…
"The match begins. Both women have emerged from their corners cautiously…circling each other…now they are in the clinch, wrestling for control, their arms wrapping each other's shoulders."
"And now it looks like Selena has managed to strike first, she has grabbed Sarah around the head in a headlock and has her locked in at her waist…"
"Sarah is struggling to break out but Selena seems to have a good hold on her…wait, Sarah has whipped Selena off her and sent her into the ropes…Selena bounces off the ropes and…"
"OH MY! Sarah came up and landed a hard clothes line across the poor pop starlet's chest and neck!"
Kelly breaks in…"WOW! Selena was nearly upended as she landed on the back of her head. The poor girl seems stunned by the blow and fall. This could be over before it begins Ryan."
"I think Selena has more fight in her, let's not sell her short just yet," Ryan replied.
Continuing his commentary…"But it does look like Sarah is pressing the action. She had pulled Selena up by her hair and…wait, what's she…she has Selena up and on her shoulder and is preparing for a…"
WHAM!
"Ooooooo! Sarah has just delivered a viscous body slam to the poor girl. Selena is in real pain, holding her back and writhing. She must be in real agony!"
"It is a real testament to Sarah's training and strength that she could even get Selena up like that Ryan? I mean this is the flyweight division, wouldn't you agree?"
"Definitely Kelly. Sarah wanted to send a message and that brutal body slam did just that. Sarah is not going to be taken lightly in this weight class showing that kind of power."
"The crowd here in the arena is loving the fast action of this first match Ryan. Sarah always was popular and they seem to be rooting for her to continue destroying her poor opponent."
"And is looks like Sarah is obliging them…she had taken the heels of Selena's boots in her hands and is holding the girls legs up as she is on her back on the mat…Sarah is playing to the crowd now, asking if they want more…"
"And the crowd responds that it definitely does and Sarah seems to be giving them what they…OHHHH...Sarah has just delivered a vicious elbow drop to Selena's groin, right between her legs."
"Man! Ryan, as a woman I can tell you that is simply not somewhere you want to be hit like that!" Kelly added.
"As if I needed to be told that after seeing Selena's reaction. She is curled up and holding her crotch and is obviously in terrible pain…we might be looking at an early stoppage if Selena can't mount some form of offense Kelly…the poor eighteen year old seems totally outmatched."
"Sarah's not giving her any time to recover either Ryan."
"No, she's not Kelly…Sarah has her up now…yet again pulling Selena up to her feet by the hair. And Sarah executes a perfect whip toss, using Selena's arm to heave her hard into the corner. Selena seems like little more than a rag doll."
"Sarah approaches…and she's hooking Selena's legs over the middle rope on either side. Selena is now sitting on the second turnbuckle with her legs wide open and exposed…OH! And Sarah delivers another vicious blow, this one to Selena's gut taking any small amount of fight that might have been in her out."
"Sarah backs off now. Always a great showman, she is playing to the crowd. She seems to be asking if she should show the poor girl any mercy…Sarah doesn’t want to wait for an answer…she charges at Selena who is trying to extricate herself from the corner ropes…but too late she sees Sarah coming right at her…"
"Yet another brutal blow…Sarah slams her entire body into Selena, simultaneously bring her knee up into the poor girls crotch while also elbowing her across the chin."
"Uh oh, it looks like the referee is taking Sarah to task for that last hit. Blows with a closed fist, elbows and knees are not allowed to the head or face and it looks like, yes, the referee is giving Sarah a warning for that hit."
"Man! Sarah does not seem happy with that!" Kelly interjected.
"No, she does not, she is giving it right back to the ref. But while she does, this is giving Selena a few moments of much needed rest. Perhaps she can use this time to recover and mount some offense which has been totally lacking from the singer."
"While Sarah's back was turned, Selena has managed to get free and fall to the mat…she is trying to pull herself up by the ropes when Sarah sees that she is moving and turns back to her opponent."
"You have to give Selena credit Ryan, this young girl does seem to have some real fight in her."
"True Kelly, but unfortunately, her fighting spirit does not seem to match her fighting skills…wait a minute…perhaps I spoke too soon…as Sarah approached and grabbed Selena by the hair the girl suddenly sprang up and delivered a hard open hand chop to Sarah's throat."
"Sarah is staggered, she is holding her throat and obviously in agony…wait Sarah is down on her knees and now the mat…just as is Selena…this is incredible! Both women are down on the mat and barely moving. Sarah seems to barely be able to get a breath in while Selena is still reeling from the brutal beat down Sarah delivered all through the start of the round."
"The ref has stepped in…he is counting…if neither woman can get to her feet by the count of ten then the match is a draw…this is incredible…after such a strong start that this match might end in a draw due to that single blow."
"The ref is up to five now…wait, both women are moving…six…both Sarah and Selena are pulling themselves up by the ropes…seven…Sarah has managed to climb to her feet. She still seems unsteady and her face is red but she seems to back in the fight."
"Selena too is about halfway up as Sarah closes in on her…and delivers a hard stomp with her boot to Selena's kidney…oh that has got to hurt!"
"Selena is back down on the mat but holding onto the ropes trying to get up still. You're right Kelly her will to fight is very admirable…but Sarah delivers a second stomping blow to her back. I have to wonder how much more she can take…Sarah really seems angry now after that chop she took."
"Sarah has dropped to her knees beside her opponent and…wait, what's she doing? Oh my! She has taken Selena by her thick hair and is pushing her head down onto the bottom rope…but she is driving it into Selena's neck, using it to choke the poor girl."
"This is really uncalled for Ryan, Sarah was never known for being a dirty fighter but now we have two fouls in as many minutes and against a defenseless fighter."
"I agree Kelly and it looks like the crowd is even turning against Sarah somewhat as some of them begin to boo her. Selena is helplessly flailing, trying to fight free but Sarah is driving her weight into her back and pinning her."
"Wait the ref has stepped in again…he is telling Sarah to let he go…Sarah isn't she is ignoring the ref and…did you see that look she gave him, pure evil."
"The referee is counting…she has until three to let go or be disqualified…one…Selena is still thrashing…two…and thr…and at the last moment Sarah lets her up. The ref is really giving it to her now but Sarah doesn't seem to care…unbelievable, she is simply walking away from him, playing to the crowd. Oh, and the boos are getting louder, they are really turning on Sarah who used to be a fan favorite but Sarah seems to be loving it. She's waving at them to give her more…relishing her return to the ring."
"Sarah it appears has decided to return to brutalizing poor Selena. She has her by the ankle and is attempting to drag the poor girl away from the ropes. Selena has the middle rope in her hands and isn't letting go…she seems desperate to not be taken by Sarah…and Sarah delivers another hard stomp to Selena's kidney's…that seemed to end her resistance as she is now dragging the girl out into the middle of the ring."
"I think we really need to be looking at stopping this fight folks. I mean Selena is obviously in agony and desperate to try and get away from Sarah who has her totally outmatched."
"I agree Ryan; we need to not only be worried about the physical punishment Selena is taking but also the emotional and psychological toll on her as well. This is the sort of thing that could haunt a young woman like Selena for years if allowed to continue."
"True Kelly…but I don't think Selena's emotional or physical well being is high on Sarah's concerns right now…what's she doing? She appears to be going for a submission hold of some sort…Sarah is squatting over Selena who is on her stomach…yes, it appears she is going for a Crab hold."
"Sarah is taking Selena's arms and hooking them over her thighs as she then reaches down and locks her hands under the pretty singer's chin from behind…Selena needs to break free quickly or Sarah is going to lock in the hold and this could be all but over."
"It's too late, Sarah has dropped her rear onto Selena's back and is pulling backwards with all her weight, stretching the poor girls back nearly to the breaking point!"
"OH MY! Ryan, Selena is screaming, she is in real pain here."
"I know Kelly, I don't think I've ever seen such a clean application of this hold. Selena seemed to have no idea how to defend herself. I really think her trainers need to be blamed for this one. But that's beside the point, she is in terrible agony and Sarah seems to be loving destroying her…Sarah is laughing as she begins bouncing only adding to poor Selena's pain!"
"The ref is approaching…he seems to be asking if Selena wants to submit…I pray she does...there is no call for this to continue...but no, Selena has declined…incredible."
"I agree with your comment before Kelly, this girl has some real fight in her but at a certain point, there is no reason to continue this…what, what's happening across the ring…"
"Someone…someone has jumped up on the apron and is climbing into the ring…it's…it's…Selena's boyfriend, JUSTIN BIEBER!...I can't believe this, Justin Bieber has entered the ring and is charging Sarah who seems to have no idea he is behind her and…OH! Justin has delivered a brutally hard stomp to the back of Sarah's head."
"Sarah…it appears Sarah is out cold on the mat. The ref has grabbed Justin and is pushing him back towards the ropes…this, this is incredible folks...the crowd is now throwing things, cups and cans and balls of paper into the ring. We may need to evacuate the arena, this is getting out of hand!"
"What's happening? While the ref is yelling at Justin to leave, Selena is moving. She appears in agony and barely conscious but she's moving nonetheless. What's she doing?...Selena as crawled on top of Sarah and has collapsed on top of her while Sarah is still out cold from that kick to her head."
"The ref now sees Selena, he is on his knees next to them. HE IS COUNTING!...ONE….TWO…THREE! And the fight is over! Selena has managed to win! I-I simply can't believe this outcome! The crowd, they are going crazy!"
"Wait, security is filling the ring to protect the fighters and paramedics are checking them both. Justin's back in the ring too! He has Selena and is practically carrying her from the ring. Security has them both surrounded! Unreal! Simply an unreal ending to the fight!"
"We're going to cut to commercials while security tries to get things under control here folks but I think it's safe to say the fallout from this fight is not yet over."
