KEIRA KNIGHTLEY VS ALEXA CHUNG: THEIR FEUD JUST SPARKED AGAINThese two skinny ladies are ready for another bonegrinding battle
By Nancy Fanciful, correspondent for CelebToday, your favourite classy catfight magazine for all things bitchyAlexa Chung has, in the past, been through some bonegrinding battles without a result on either her or her opponent's side.
First match without a winner: Alexa vs pop princess Cher Lloyd. The two women wrestled for nearly fifteen minutes without one of them gaining an advantage. Cher insisted on pronouncing herself the winner because prior to their confrontation in the ring she got the better of Alexa in an armwrestling match, pinning her rival's thin arm with her equally skinny one. The jury, however, far from considering Cher's claim, announced there was no winner.
Second fruitless struggle: Alexa fighting actress
Keira Knightley.
Keira, unlike Cher, was unable to move Alexa's arm at the armwrestling table, and both women left the ring after a long, sweaty battle in which neither Keira nor Alexa scored any points. Exhausted, bathed in sweat and panting, each lady swore to her opponent to 'make mincemeat' of her 'one day in a rematch' while they left the ring without having done the slightest harm to each other.
Now, that day has finally come - Keira and Alexa are ready to step back into the ring.
Asked what she expects from the repeated fight with her rival, Alexa Chung told CelebToday, 'This time, I'll grind her into the floor. She'll wish she'd never met me in the ring a second time!'
Keira, however, has been equally optimistic about the outcome of her rematch with Alexa. 'I'll rip her in halves. That was then and this is now. I've got stronger, but that anaemic bitch probably got even weaker!'
The two ladies will armwrestle before stepping into the ring but also there will be a boob fight tits on tits.
Alexa about a 'best breast' match: 'If I was Keira I'd try massaging some acne cure into the chest to try getting rid of those two ugly pimples she insists on calling "boobs".'
Keira replied with a scathing remark about Alexa's assets: 'My two girls are perky and healthy compared to those two tiny flabby fuck-ugly skin protrusions she's got hanging from her scrawny ribcage. Let's see who's the better woman when I pancake her so called "breasts" with my tits! They'll go through hers like bullets!'
KEIRA KNIGHTLEY: 34 years, 5'6", 54 kg, 32A
ALEXA CHUNG: 35 years, 5'8", 56 kg, 32A
Below: Keira Knightley
Below: Alexa Chung
