Dear TABSK--Hey, Cassie here. Welp, that was a big let down. My daughter and I interrupted our summer work schedules and spent some UNPAID vacation days in Ocean City, MD (not impressed!!!, btw--very dated and rundown.... but I digress--this a catfight column, not a Travel section). Meeting Dullard Dawn was not worth the trip--and she didn't even bring her daughter. So MY daughter was all dressed up, with no one to fight. Now, obviously I was more than DTF--Down To Fight--with the ... ahem ...... woman. But Dawn didn't even rise to that challenge. She was all blah..blah..blah about rules .... and being sensible ..... and getting to know each other first. Eww. I came for a fight, not to make friends. So to bitch and moan, but c'mon .... don't waste my time, Dawn-y. No wonder your husband divorced you. Cassie
Dear Cassie--Although our charter prevents us from acting as an intermediary between individual readers, in light of the uniqueness of your and Dawn's encounter, we've taken the liberty of forwarding your note to her, and giving her the opportunity to provide her perspective. Here is what she had to say. TABSK
Dear TABSK--Thank you for forwarding Cassie's note along. I'm sorry she and her daughter feel they were inconvenienced by anything I said or did. Our notes should have made it clear to any unbiased observer that I'm new to catfighting, while she and her family are quite experienced. Cassie did indeed identify me and approach me one night in Ocean City. But she went way way way way too fast. She immediately wanted to get me in a room alone with her and her daughter, two people who I don't know from Adam, and who p.s. are both three or four inches taller than me. She had flavored vodka on her breath, and was speaking in slurred words about "as enemies, not as friends", "nothing off limits", "no holds barred". I had remembered your warning about barfight spiralling out of control, and her body language and attitude were such that it felt like something would break out right there on the dance floor. I tried "talking her down" and seeing if we could work out an arrangement which would be mutually satisfactory, but I was unsuccessful in calming her. After about 10 minutes of awkward discussion, I was sort of "done with" Cassie, and she got the message. I stayed the week in Ocean City and halfheartedly tested the waters with some other women, but my fingers had been burned by Cassie and so my heart wasn't in it. I'd still like to have a catfight, even possibly with Cassie. But I guess it wasn't meant to be this summer. Dawn
Dear Dawn and Cassie--We're sorry for any disappointment you may have experienced in your crossed signals at Ocean City, and for any role we at TABSK may have had in it. America is increasingly an unequal society where we mingle with those with our own interests and not with anyone else, and your Missed Connection may have been one unavoidable victim of that sad state. But, Cassie--we're gonna hafta call you out on this one. Dawn has never been in a grownup catfight--if she makes her debut against you, you're gonna kick her ass. That might be ok with everyone--we've all been-there-done-that as far as rookie lump-taking goes; but, as such, going easy on the pre-fight trash talk is YOUR responsibility. On top of that--Cassie, you're that much taller than Dawn? The SMALLER woman in a size mismatch throws the first punch, ok? Now ..... if this fight is not meant to be, so be it; you both got the thrill of an Ocean City bar argument. But, we also think perhaps something can be salved here. Your college age daughters appear to be a better matchup experience-wise, and perhaps both have free time over the Christmas-New Year holiday. Perhaps you ladies can bond with your daughters over a End-of-Decade New Years' Eve bash-slash-daughter-daughter-catfight on 12/31/2019. Don't answer now--let us know around, let's say, Halloween, what you think. We at TABSK have not shared your locations with each other, but have a mutually accessible setting in mind. Again, think about it for now. And readers, let this be a lesson to you. It takes TWO to tango. Catfights don'tgrow on trees. TABSK