[Bear]

Breaking the 4th wall here.

I've been here on FCF on and off for many years and this is a subject that has really troubled me. On one hand one can say it is a fetish and a roleplay escapade but on the other hand, it is still violence.

This is a great point.  I've always struggled with trying to separate intensity from violence, but arguably one gives rise to the other.  Football is trying to separate the two with targeting rules and is finding that very difficult to achieve.  Trying to make an intense, physical contact sport less violent (or safer) is virtually impossible unless some basic rules (like offensive holding) are rolled back to the 1970's.  Of course, then you have a game that is not as wide open or as exciting.  One can say the same about our fetish. 

I found out a long time ago that real street fights were not arousing or sensual.  For me they were grim and  depressing, nothing like a TV or a movie catfight that always pushed my buttons.  Those were fun and sexy.  Take the Crystal Fight series.  Some fights are very violent and intense; and some could be classified as intense wrestling matches with open handed fist punching.  In transferring my VHS collection to DVD, I left out the fights that I considered to be too violent, and kept the ones that served its sensual purpose within my parameters concerning violence.  But again, there's a fine line that defines the difference. 

Regarding the original question that was posed here: I still insist that there's a reason why a guy would want to see his lady lose in a match.   There's a reason for everything.  Some of my theories have been effectively and correctly  debunked here, so I'll stand down.  But that doesn't mean that there isn't a reason.  If my wife engaged in any kind of competition (dancing, baking, even wrestling LOL) I'd want to see her win.  Why?  Because she'd want to win.  Would I find the experience any less enjoyable if she lost?  Absolutely not.  As I've stated before; for me, the charge comes from the competition not the outcome, and I would always support her the same way that she'd support me. 

BTW, if it matters, I found the discussion here to be intelligent and insightful.  Thanks to everyone who contributed.