[sinclairfan]

Dear TABSK:  My name is Melissa; I'm a 21 year old massage therapy student who is rethinking her career path choice due to the pandemic.  To clear my head, I'm spending my holidays, and possibly longer, with my great-uncle and great-aunt at their winter home in Florida (my "normal" home is in Michigan).  Their place is in a gated community with many shared community facilities (pool, dance club, restaurant, etc) where young people my age can congregate, have fun, maybe get into (hopefully just a little bit of) trouble to burn off energy, tension, what have you.  Last holiday season (pre-pandemic, so it seems like a lifetime ago, even though it was just 12 months), I got into a hottest-girl-in-a-bikini staring rivalry with another snow-birder my age, Krista from Ohio.  We dared each other into a nighttime catfight-in-the-dirt-and-grass one night towards the end of her stay there last year before she went back north to community college, and the fight got really intense, then vicious, and then outright dirty and XXX-rated in that order.  I was so marked up afterwards that I had to lie to my great-aunt about falling off my bike.  I spent the past twelve months half-anticipating/half-dreading  a rematch with Krista.  Well, I got down here last weekend, and there are college-age women staying at the house Krista stayed at last winter--but none of them are Krista.  Instead, at the pool, a pretty-but-tough-looking woman introduced herself to me as Didi, and said Krista is unable to travel due to the pandemic, but that she (Didi) would be happy to "settle any unfinished business" I might have with Krista.  Is Didi a ringer?  Has Krista set me up for an ass kicking with a badass?  Melissa

Dear Melissa--Ah, yes.  Variation Number 17C on the eternal 'catfighting-by-proxy' question.  Do I now have to fight the sister/cousin/friend/gang-captain of the girl I fought before?  The same general principle applies, though.  If you would fight Didi if there had never been a Krista, go for it!  If not, politely have Didi convey to Krista an invitation to fight again.  Good luck.  TABSK

[sinclairfan]

Dear TABSK--My name is Margie, a 47-year old divorced fan of yours, and not for the first time this year, you've been caught off your game by a reader's letter.  Melissa and her Florida bikini rival Krista have discovered (at a blessedly young age) the joys of the Snowbird-stranger catfight.  Think about it.  You're away from home.  Your semi-anonymous.  You're returning, in a few weeks, somewhere far apart from each other.  What better circumstances to have it out with someone who's the right physical opposite?  Note how Melissa didn't mention who won her showdown with Krista.  Note how they didn't contact each other when they got back north  even though they live in neighboring states.  It's all about the thrill of the fight ..... and how intense it can get.  And, yes, I speak from experience .... just in Arizona, not Florida--although I've been there, too, and had some hella memorable fights.  So, my guess:  Didi just likes to fight.  Go for it, Melissa.  Kick her butt.  Margie

Dear Margie--We concede we made some errors of omission and missed some hidden clues in Melissa's letter.  Duh, given their age, Melissa and Krista must be on social media--if they went 10 months without contacting each other, they were enjoying the anonymity of their northern personas.     Your move, Melissa.  TABSK

[ralbright2010]

The Ohio versus Michigan theme should be an interesting story line. Traveling in Columbus I heard a novelty store radio ad, typical Ohio State fan gear and knick-knacks, then "yes we have Michigan toilet paper" For a second I was thinking, who cares where they made the TP, then it hit me; U of M logo TP. Those people hate one another. This could be a  visceral catfight tale!

[sinclairfan]

Dear TABSK--It's me again, Melissa, the Michigan snowbirds.  I followed Margie's advice, and yours.  After some post-holiday staring cat-and-mouse with the mysterious Ohioan, Didi, we worked up the courage to engage, get nose-to-nose, and make arrangements to meet for a catfight.  The community we're in is under construction (I suppose much of Florida always is, right?), and has many out-the-beaten-path trails that provide a "comfy" level of privacy (and danger--the chance of being hurt and alone in a semi-virgin Florida swamp with hissing cockroaches the size of my hand got my juices flowing in a primal way that I've been craving) to meet up with an anonymous (and sexy) rival.  So Didi and I did it--we met there one morning, and had at each other, no (spoken) rules.  Law of the jungle, figuratively and literally.  And then did it again a week later.  Then 3 days later.  Then back-to-back days.  4 fights in 10 days.  Then she needed to go back north, back home to school.  But I made sure she brought some souvenirs, in the form of scratches, back to Ohio State with her.  Who won/ who lost?  Inconclusive, I'd say.  We both got our shots in.  And both knew we'd been in a fight.  Was she a ringer?  Well, she was tougher than Krista, my "dance partner" from the prior winter.  But I honestly think her and Krista just like to fight.  They just discovered their passion for it before I did.  But they've shared it with me--infected me with it, if I can use a horribly inappropriate and ill-timed figure of speech.  But, at long last, I get it.  If that similarly-sized, similarly-aged other girl/other woman is sizing me up with her eyes, I'll bite.  She probably just likes to fight.  And wants to do it with me.  Will I look for Didi (or Krista) on social media when I go back up north (if I do--whole different story there)?  Maybe..... but probably not.  The semi-anonymity added an element of ..... recklessness to the fights.  I kinda liked it.  And maybe next holiday season, I'll see one or both of them down here again.  It'll be fun.  Melissa.

Dear Melissa--Did you say hissing cockroaches?  TABSK

P.S. Thank you, Margie, for your intervention, assuring this episode had a happy ending.