After Mass, my husband and I are in our car, driving to our usual Saturday evening steak dinner, after which we'll have our usual Saturday evening-into-Sunday morning sex.
I'm actually looking forward to it, since I'm horny as fuck from my Church run-in with Beth.
My husband is pissy, tho. I ask him why. He answers:
> Did you really think that was appropriate?
> Did I think WHAT was appropriate?? [I honestly don't know what he's talking about. So now I'm pissy, too.]
> Texting during the homily, Sherry? Really??
> [Oh, shit. Did he notice that?] Oh. Umm..... it was someone from work with a work question.
> On a Saturday afternoon??
> Yes, [I lie], it's a busy time of year.
> Ok, fine, it was someone from work. But was it a work question? Or a sex question?
> [Oh, shit.] Excuse me??? A sex question from someone at work?
> Sherry. Lately in bed, you've been talkng in your sleep. You've been saying the name 'Beth'.
> [I have?
Holy crap.] So what are you saying??? I'm having a work affair with some at work named Beth??? [Now I'm super-pissy.]
> Or a crush at least. If it's not true, show me your phone.
> [Holy fuck. I should have deleted the text bitchfight with Beth.] Ummmm, .... we don't show each other our phones. We're not middle schoolers.
My husband knows he's caught me in a lie. He's wrong about what the lie is. But I'm busted.
And we both know it.
And it ruins our dinner.
And we don't have Saturday Night sex.
Beth has ruined my Saturday Night with my husband. And I get no satisfaction for my horniness.
Fuck you, Beth. You'll pay for this.
I text her Sunday night.
> Pull that Mass bullshit with me next Saturday, and I WILL FUCK YOU UP, sweetie. I'm not joking.
> I look forward to it, bitch.
> So do I. cxnt.
To be continued...