MF: We're back, this is Morgan Fairchild, and the producers and I are playing a little trick on Deborah Norville for this segment--we're putting her in the hot seat and making HER tell US about her first catfight,....
DN: [giggling, blushing] ...oh, no, you didn't....
MF: ..... Oh, but I did, honey, .... back a few years ago I talked to your Mom .... back in Dalton, Georgia..... and we're all getting older now, Deborah, I think it's time this story got out ... in YOUR words .... about the day in 1975 that YOUR MOM ..... and another girl's Mom in your class ... ARRANGED a catfight between the 2 of you..... C'mon, darlin', .... spill. It's just you, me, and 20 million viewers.
DN: Well, 20 million .... our rating aren't THAT good....
MF: ....but this will be going viral all over YouTube.... now stop delaying ... these segments are short .... it's 1975 in Dalton, Georgia.... and you're building a high school homecoming float in your garage ... THEN what happens?
DN: .... Oh, goodness, you really did get this straight from my Mom.... well, the girl I fought, Tracy .... she and I were grade school friends who had grown apart .... socially, I mean ....those fights are always the WORST, right Morgan?.....
MF: ....the worst fights ... but the best catfights .... [makes clawing motion]....
DN: Well, anyways.... Tracy had an ex-boyfriend, who was definitely dreamboat material .... and there was electricity between him and me ... we had wanted to kiss for awhile but never got the chance .... well, he shows up at my garage to work on the homecoming float .... and by the way these float building sessions in the 1970s were total make-out sessions .... well Tracy told him not to go, but he did, and he and I sre making out in secomds flat .... well, Tracy busts us, and totally want to fight me right there .... but my mom knows I'm going to University of Georgia next year to study law .... so the rest of the gitls thrre separate us ... mom makes the boy and Tracy leave .... and all the rest of the float building is all the girls buzzing that Tracy and I are obviously gonna fight at school on Monday .... they tell my mom Tracy and I shoulda fought right thrre, now we're gonna get suspended from school.... and I fudged up law future ..... well, my Mom and Tracy's Mom had never liked each other back when Tracy and I were friends .... they were both pretty and had a Southern girl jealousy for each other .... well, on Saturday, my mom gets on the phone with Tracy's mom, and tells her Tracy and I need to fight before Monday, before it's school..... and Tracy's mom is all "fine by me" .... now, all 4 of us are talking tough .... the 2 girls, the 2 moms .... but, trust me Morgan .... all 4 of us were dcared shitless .... chickfights happened in Dalton, Georgia in 1975, but not like this ... not ARANGED ... the 2 girls fighting alone, their moms preventing interference .... I mean, Morgan, this was like a friggin' duel the Mom's had just arranged.... but with fists instead of pistols .... and Tracy and were both fit, strong .... woulda be in sports if that was a thing in the 1970s.... and the top it all of, Tracy is the real deal--the proverbial crazy ex-girlfriend .... so I'm tossing and turning in bed all Saturday, freaked out about the fight .... but knowing I need to get some sleep ... and my Mom musta seen under the door that my light was on... and she comes and lays with me and tells me to kick the shit outta Tracy, that Tracy and her mom are trash, but I'm destined for bigger things than Dalton, Georgia .... and she tells me she was in fights growing up, that she knows I can do it.... shows me how to make a fist, how to grab hair ... how to grab boobs, she says every chickfight has boob twisting, that there's no rules .... that if she and Tracy's mom start fighting, to not pay them any mind, just focus on fighting Tracy....
to be continued.....