Cast of Characters!Me!!! - I’m Gemma and I Rox!!! I’m an English girl living in Louisiana with her, him and a freak named kitten. As for her… she hates me… and him? He loves her. That kind of makes me feel unwanted… but luckily kitten is even more unwanted so I don’t feel too bad
Her - She’s a bitch. She’s ruined my life and now the only thing I’m good for is fighting and fucking. Luckily for me I’m really good at both. Unluckily for her she’s normally my target. Her name is still Jonica.
Him - He’s great
there was a time where he wanted to kill me but we’re past that now. He shows tremendous patience and a somewhat blissful ignorance to the fact that me and her are always trying to kill or lightly maim each other. His name is still Joe.
Kitten - well… what can you say about Kitten… she’s a psychotic pet who used to belong to one of the biggest crime lords in the world and now has found herself in our care. We would have her put down but this particular crime lord is not a man with whom to fuck… she’s not like most kittens standing at a little over 5 ft with long dark hair and a fondness for cartoons… but she does poop in the yard…
Kayla - caught up in the festive fight fest, Kayla happens to buy the wrong dam present at the wrong damn time… still… she’s not one to pass up on a fight fest…
Marie B - The spirit of Christmas itself… all rolled up into a 4’11” ball of furious vengeance with a hint of psychotic glee. Pray to god you’ve been a good girl this year or Marie B will happily sign your name to the naughty list in blood…
Joanne the Jogger - Free Catfights very own blonde bombshell drops in to drop sluts and maybe help herself to something that doesn’t belong to her… Fucking blondes…
Heidi - Joanne’s partner in crime and capers. She’s blonde, she’s an air hostess but don’t let that fool you… she’s wrap you up in a figure 4 head lock & armbar combo and smile as you scream… still… when a girl is that hot, you’d let her, right? To say I’m attracted is an understatement… to say Joanne’s pissed at that is another
Anna the Marine - when this buxom bitch isn’t laying seeds in her garden she’s laying bitches out cold. She knows how to fight and knows how to hold a grudge. And thanks to Kitten and a 5 pound bag of fertilizer she holds a grudge with us…
Sarah Ljungberg - The sensational Swede! or is that Swiss?… Dutch?… possibly Norwegian… wherever the hell she’s from she’s here now and not afraid to get her hands dirty. I only pray this delectable blonde knows what she’s gotten herself into…
It was the night before Christmas and all through the house, nothing was stirring, not even a mouse… Until Jonica kicked me square in the cxnt! I really hate that bitch… but why? I hear you ask… Why would the delicate Cajun flower some know as Jonica (but I know as evil slut bag) kick me in such an inappropriate area? Surely there must be some ulterior motive? Well dear reader you are both right and wrong… Wrong in the sense that she’s an absolute whore and would need no rhyme or reason to assault me so… and right in the sense that in this particular instance… she did have a reason… Let me explain…
Chapter 1: With a Jingle Bell we’re off to hell…December 24nd 2010Joe was sleeping in, he’d had a hard night working a homicide and was drained… he had an even harder night when he came home to find I’d power bombed Jonica through his kitchen table and she was laying unconscious on the floor while I ate her nachos… “she wouldn’t share!” I defended as he gave me that stare he does so well… Since the craziness with Emma Fox things had calmed down to a degree, I decided to stay with Joe and Jonica and other than Jonica, nobody was trying to kill me. It was nice to feel almost normal again! The sex was amazing and the violence was astounding, me and Jonica flirted between lust and hate on an hourly basis and Joe just went with the flow.
Sometimes I felt like an outsider, with Joe and Jonica it was love… with them and me it was lust. Now I like Lust! So much so I have a somewhat unflattering reputation on the subject… but lust won’t keep you warm at night… well… that’s a lie… what I mean is lust won’t fill your heart! Yeah, that’s it! Most of the time Jonica and I would fight over petty things but occasionally we would really flair up. I still blamed the dumb bitch for ruining my life (and in my defence, I’m right) and she resented me for my resentment (as dumb as that sounds... She’s not the brightest spark…) I know that one day soon we will have our confrontation… we don’t talk about the Emma Fox fiasco… not even a little bit but it hangs over us. Rest assured, we will have it out… but that’s a tale for another day.
This particular tale starts with an advert on TV… Me and Jonica were sat watching the box, I was dressed in baggy jeans and a Green Bay packers jersey. I love being all cosy and snug on a cold winters day! I stretched out on the sofa, my 5’3” frame taking it all up and forcing Jonica to sit in the arm chair (HA!). Jonica was sat arms folded in the arm chair in her arse hugging tight blue jeans and a white tank top. She was a stunning girl, quirky and beautiful, shorter than me at 5’2” and slightly heavier at around 115lbs, but every pound of her was all toned beauty.
As we sat in the warm, the log fire was roaring and the Christmas decorations combined with the windows, frosted from the cold outside brought an air of magic and wonderment to the room. An advert came on TV… there was a present and it was perfect! I knew I had to get it for Joe! I beamed a huge smile and turned to Jonica as she stared at me too with the same joyous grin.
“THAT’S PERFECT!!!” we squeaked in joyous unison
“Hey… wait a minute… why the fuck are you shouting that?” Jonica asked confused
“Because I’m going to get that for Joe silly!” I grinned “Come on! Lets go to the shops!” I chuckled enthusiastically as I got up off the sofa (which Jonica insists on calling a couch… damn Americans!) I was about to grab my coat when Jonica grabbed my arm
“Think again bitch! I’M getting that for Joe!” she stated defiantly
“Fuck you! I saw it first!” I glared back
“WE SAW THE FUCKING ADVERT AT THE SAME TIME!!!” she protested, ruining my flawless logic… “Besides… he’s my man, we just keep you around for kicks, like kitty!” she adds scornfully and her words cut me deep
“FUCK Kitty and FUCK YOU!!!” I shout shoving her so hard she fly’s over the sofa and lands hard on the floor
“BITCH!!!” she screams getting up and launching herself at me! Her fists are fast and true, each one reaping a terrible cost across my body as I try and defend. She backs me up to the front door and tries to knee me in the crotch but I close my legs trapping her knee between my thighs and deliver a short but sweet head butt! “UUUGGGNNN….” she groans as her head is rocked back and she stumbles, I fly at her! “YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!” I cry as I tackle her waist and knock her onto the floor but somehow she does a backwards roll and I’m the one who ends up on my back! (no jokes please…)
She rolls back and ends up mounting me and throwing vicious punches to my breasts and face! I cover up and try to buck her off but somehow the little shit manages to roll me onto my stomach mounts me from behind! She applies a sleeper hold and rolls again, laying on her back and trapping my waist in a gut wrenching scissor hold as my arms flail in the air struggling for freedom in vein…
“Lights out Mon Cher…” she purrs as she tightens the sleeper and scissors combo… oh my god… this little bitch is going to knock me out! I think to myself as my arms get heavy and my breathing laboured… slowly my kicks and struggles dissipate and my arms fall to my side, limp and useless… a few moments later and I pass out to the whispers of my tormentor… “Sorry Mon Cher… I’m just a better woman than you… and come Christmas day Joe will know that too…” she coo’s kissing me on the temple and leaving me sprawled out unconscious on the living room floor. She grabbed her black thigh length coat and was gone.
Some time later I awake and it’s mid day… Joe walks in in his boxers eating a bowl of cereal and sees me coming round on the living room floor. The table has been kicked over and the sofa is lying on it’s back
“Hey Gemma, Joni knock you out again?” he asks. Believe it or not the sight of one of us fucked up on the floor is a pretty common occurrence, almost daily really…
“I’m going to kill that fucking Bitch!!!” is what I planned to say but it came out
“Hm ging fkn btch… uuuggghhh…” I gave my tired and achy head a few moments to gather some semblance of consciousness then got up and remembered the present… “FUCK!!! THE PRESENT!!! I‘m going to kill that fucking cxnt!!!” I scream as I sprint out the door
“Ok Gemma… have fun” Joe responds, not really paying attention to our varied and plentiful threats any more…
Chapter 2: Shop till you drop the bitch…Jonica sprinted as fast as her fit little legs could carry her, so far every shop had sold out and this is her last chance… she turned the isle and saw the display… the empty display…
“FUCK!!!” she cried, startling the other shoppers, then she hurriedly rushed to the cashier… as she approached she screamed her request, she pleaded and begged “Please have one in store!!! I’ll give you money! Jewellery! An genuine English Slut! ANYTHING!!!” but the cashier just shook his head
“Sorry honey, that lady just bought the last one…” he replied pointing to a taller, shapely woman who just walked through the automatic doors and into the parking lot. Jonica sprinted, praying she could reason with the woman, after all we live in reasonable times right? As she got closer she noticed her more, the brown winter jacket gave the impression of a woman who has done well for herself and her black leggings hugged what can only be described as a world class pair of legs! This girl looked after herself, that’s for sure… She caught up with her as the woman approached a parked car… the daylight had begun to fade slightly now and the air had a mystical, magical red hue to it. As she approached the woman she reached out and tapped her on the shoulder, slightly out of breath from all the running
“Exc… *pant* excuse me miss but I was wondering if… oh fuck… you’ve got to be kidding me!” she cried out as the woman turned around
“YOU!!!” Cried Kayla, clutching her present “What the fuck do you want bitch!!!” growled the South African hellcat. Jonica took a step back as would you if you were faced with a 5’9” 145lbs professional athlete who has a body for war and a mind for filth. Her eyes glowed with rage as she remembered all of their previous encounters and battles, in the red sky her brown wavy hair sparkled and shimmered. Despite the malice and ill intentions she clearly harboured she was stunningly beautiful. This fact isn’t lost on me and the bitch STILL owes me an orgasm!…… I’m going off topic a bit now aren‘t I…
“Oh shit… look… you don’t like me and I don’t like you, but I really need that present… is there anyway we could sort something out?” Jonica asked already knowing what the likely answer would be
“Oh this?… you mean… you need it?” Kayla pondered, looking at the red and yellow gift wrapped box… “well alright, I know we’ve had our differences in the past but if it’ll help us forget all that shit that went on then ok… here you go” she finishes, holding out the present to Jonica in an overwhelming display of maturity and peaceable intentions.
Jonica was stunned, almost to tears in fact, this show of friendship was so heartfelt and unexpected she could hardly keep the tears in… in fact as she reached forward and her fingers lightly brushed the present she actually did burst out crying. Although I seriously suspect that her tears had something to do with the hard, leather booted kick Kayla just delivered to her cxnt…
“FUUUUUCK!!!” Jonica screamed as her eye’s watered and she dropped to her knees clutching her wounded pussy. She looks up at Kayla, a hurt look of betrayal and disappointment fills her eyes as she seems the mean sneer written all over her attackers face.
“What did you expect bitch! You’re an ass hole!!! FUCK YOU!” She shouts, the other shoppers in the parking lot starting to stare now. As Kayla turns she puts the present down on the trunk of her car and searches through her pockets for her keys until she’s shocked by a sudden loud and piercing scream. The reason she’s shocked is because the scream came from her as Jonica rose and slammed a hard right into her kidneys! Kayla’s arms flung out wide from the blow and her keys scattered along the ground resting under another car as she turns to face off against a vengeful Jonica.
“BITCH! I bought the gift and I’m fucking keeping it!” she growled as the two women circled each other. In all fairness, as much as I hate that slut Kayla, she is right… but Jonica’s never been much of a proponent of logic or reason and in her tiny mind she seems to have built up the impression that she deserves the present now.
Kayla lunges at the smaller Cajun with a heavy right but Jonica was quick to duck it and slam a hard left into the taller girls ribs. Jonica’s a small girl, but where a year ago she lamented he stature (especially when she first faced Kayla’s intimidating might) now she’s learnt to use it effectively. Kayla’s fast… REAL fast, but Jonica’s wily and cunning and maybe even a little bit faster… She side steps and blocks most of Kayla’s onslaught, letting the heavier girl punch herself tired as she strikes with the odd heavy counter punch and kick.
The irritation is clearly showing on Kayla’s face now as she struggles to land a single blow on Jonica but much to Jonica’s annoyance she just doesn’t seem to slow down! Far from punching herself out, she seems to be getting even faster! The years of training and honing her body as a professional athlete really start to tell as Jonica, tired from all the running and shopping she did earlier starts to tire out first, She sees Kayla fire a slow right cross and ducks it looking to plant a solid counter into her opponents midsection but her world spins as Kayla SLAMS a heavy left hook into the Cajuns pretty jaw… shocked she staggers around a little, dazed on her feet until a hefty right uppercut connects solidly with the poor bitch and lifts her clean off the floor for a second until gravity makes itself known and slams her back first onto the hard concrete.
Kayla flashes a wry smile and can’t help but appreciate Jonica’s toned body as she lies there unconscious. If she had more time and if there were less horrified shoppers present she’s happily fuck the crap out of the little bitch but she has a date with Marie B that she wants to get ready for and so she wanders to the next car and lays on the floor reaching for her keys. “Fuck!” she mumbles as the keys are still out of reach, so she scoots up a little until she’s under the car almost to her waist. She stretches out as far as she can… her finger tips just tease the metal key rings until… “YES!” she grips the keys firmly in hand.
The smile across her face doesn’t last though as she feels hands wrap around her right leg… “Oh Fuck! JONICA!!! DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!!!” she cries as she realises she should have made sure the cunning little cxnt was actually unconscious but Jonica paid no heed to her threat, wrapping up Kayla’s right leg in a vicious ankle lock! She bends Kayla’s knee so her calf is facing away from her and wraps her left arm around the ankle and scissors around the calf with her legs to stop her opponent thrashing and kicking, then with cruel malice and a gleeful smile she grips Kayla’s foot with her right hand near the toes and twists it sharply outwards… the pain is quite excruciating I can assure you…
“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!! SHIIIIIIIT!!!!!” Kayla screams, trapped so tight under the car she can’t roll to get out of it. She’s trapped and at the mercy of a woman who really doesn’t know the meaning of the word (to be honest, she doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words… fucking dipshit…) Jonica smiles as she tightens the hold and hears the South African curse and plead in equal measures… if this was a wrestling ring, Kayla would probably be out of the hold by now and stomping Jonica into the canvas but pinned under the car as she is… she knows she’s fucked… and I don’t mean a happy fucked.
Jonica’s plan is simple, she’s been put in this hold often enough by me to know that after 5 minutes of pure, soul wrenching agony, Kayla’s ankle will be useless for about half an hour and that gives her the perfect amount of time to grab the present and make good her escape. And sure enough after 5 minutes of screaming and torment she loosens the hold and Kayla’s cries die down to whimpers as Jonica stands, chuckling to herself looking down at the pert arse and two legs laying still accompanied by groans and moans. (and if I was there I’d be laughing too! don’t feel sorry for Kayla! She’s a bitch! And until I get the orgasm she owes me I’M NOT FUCKING CHANGING MY MIND!!!)
The laughter turned to tears soon enough though as turning to face Kayla’s car she see’s that the present is gone… Franticly she runs around the car, did it fall over? No… it’s nowhere to bee seen “FUUUUUUCK!!!!” is all that can be heard in the parking lot as Jonica screams to the heavens… by this point a large crowd had gathered to witness the fight and Jonica’s eyes darted wildly from witness to witness… “Which one of you cxnts took it!!! I WANT ANSWERS OR I’LL BEAT THEM OUT OF YOU!!!” she screams then suddenly a tiny flash of red and gold can be seen in the distance as a blonde girl in a pink tracksuit can be see jogging off with her prize… “BITCH!” she cries and makes off after the thief until her nose gets crumpled running face first into the shoulder of the woman who stepped in her way…
“Who the fuck are you calling a cxnt, bitch?” growled Anna, the 5’6” well built, toned and fighting fit Marine we had the unfortunate pleasure of tangling with a while back… “Oh shit…” Jonica mumbled under her breath… Oh shit indeed…
Chapter 3: Never trust a jogger, they‘re all sinister…Joanne chuckled to herself as she jogged back to her house, prize in hand… was it mean to steal the item Jonica was fighting so hard to get? Probably... But ‘Yah… FUCK HER!’ Joanne thought to herself as she recalled the way Jonica, Kitten and I hogtied her with her own i pod buds… Kitten even kicked her in the stomach and stole the i pod claiming that she ‘won it’ in the fight… fucking nut job… so in her mind she was perfectly entitled to a little payback. As she rounded the corner so did I, after waking in the house I decided to run to the shops and try to confront the little bitch but instead I end up confronting a huge fucking headache as we crack skulls on the corner…
“AAAAGGGHHH!!!! FUCK!!!” I cry rubbing my forehead. “YOU DUMB BITCH!!! You should have… oh… it’s you…” I trail off recognising Joanne on the floor
“Yah… it’s me… Jeez! I should have been more careful jogging around the street corner… I heard you work most of them…” she replies… bitch.
“Fuck you Jo! I already apologised for the fucking i pod! Get over it! And why the fuck are you always jogging? Get a car you tight bitch!” I cuss back
“Apologised? Well you pretty much had to after I taped you to the fucking flag pole! And I never got my fucking i pod back!”
“I tried to find it but Kitty buried it somewhere in the yard! I told you she‘s fucking mental! I’ll get you a new one alright! Just shut the fuck up! My head hurts… and HEY!!!” I roar… “the only reason you taped me to that flag pole is because that cop, that marine and half the women on the block were helping you! I’d fuck you up one on one bitch!” I growl getting back to my feet the same time she does She squares off against me and eyes me up and down…
She’s taller than me at 5’6” and a little heavier… I’d guess around 120lbs and every ounce of it is beautiful… I size her up to, her legs are covered in pink jogging bottoms but I know from seeing her around that they’re deadly. Her arse is pert and perfect and her body… In a tight white lycra sports top with pink trim, she looks every bit the fighter, toned and ready. But her face… that pretty smile framed by her naturally blonde hair… truly breathtaking… shame I’m going to have to fuck her up really. But this has been coming for a long time.
Almost every time we pass each other in the street she taunts me or insults me and I’m just as flattering back. Looking at her eyes right now I can tell that this is the moment we’ll finally lock up… so I taunt her a little…
“so Jo… How’s Heidi doing? I chatted to her in the supermarket the other day…” my sudden change of topic threw her off guard and she got protective…
“What… she never mentioned that…” Jo answers a little taken aback and hurt
“Well I’m not surprised! She practically threw herself at me… She’s quite the tease you know! I can’t wait until next weeks shopping… it’s my favourite part of the week now…” I goad and she takes the bait
“Listen you! You stay the fuck away from my girl you Candy Ass SLUT!!! If you come near her I got a nice little kick to your cooter waiting for you BITCH!!!” she scowls pushing my left shoulder hard with her right hand… that’s when I notice the gift wrapped present in her left hand…
“What’s with the present?” I ask, curiosity proving the best of me and I see Joanne smile wide and proud
“Oh this?… This is something I got of your hawt little trailer trash gal pal… I took it in place of my i pod” she finishes proudly… I couldn’t believe it… Joe’s present… right here in front of me!
“Please Joanne… I need that box… can’t we be reasonable about this?” I ask, changing tact, hoping she’ll see sense but cocking my right fist in case she doesn’t… she holds out her right hand keeps me at bay by shoving me again and turns her body so her left hand and the present are blocked off by her body… it seems I’m going to have to get through her to get it…
“Now, now gurly gurl… Finders keepers is how I play… and until you find my i pod you can go fuck yourself sweetie…Uuuugggghhhh!!!!” she finishes as I twist my body and deliver a harsh right hook into her belly.
“Bitch! Do you think I’m playing here? I need that fucking present… NOW!” I glare at her as I make my demands but she just puts the gift on top of a mail box and squares off against me…
“Fight me for it…” she grins… is she fucking serious? I’ve already been KO’d by Jonica earlier… but this blonde bimbo can’t take me? Jeez! A Bitch goes running everyday and she thinks that makes her tough?
“Fine” I reply and we circle each other. “You really want to get into this with me? I mea… UUGGGHHH!!!” shit! The bitch fired a hard left jab right into my stomach, before I could double over she steps in and grips me in a bear hug… “FUUUUCK!!!” I scream as she traps my arms by my side and lifts me off the ground! Her power takes me by surprise… I can’t breath! My back pops and cracks as she crushes my ligaments and joints and I scream…
“Oh… gghhhhh… what’s wrong baby? We’re just getting started!” she teases before I feel my hair flying forwards across my face and suddenly my back erupts it terrible pain as she slams me down onto the lawn in a perfect spine buster! The air rushes out from me and the world starts spinning… the red evening sky takes on a hellish aura when you’re ravaged in pain and at the mercy of a girl who wants to break you.
I’m laying on my back with this angry bitch kneeling over me, between my legs and smiling “Oh honey… I’ve been wanting to tangle with you for a while now…” she teases before standing up and hooking my right leg under her arm…
“Oh shit… no don’t! don’t you fucking dareaaaAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!” I scream as she turns me over into a single leg Boston Crab. I’m clawing at the turf now, desperate for purchase, the freshly cut grass in my face as I scream. My god… this girl really knows how to hurt someone! My right leg is pulled so far back it’s almost touching my head as I slam my palm on the grass over and over again
“OK!!! OK!!! I FUCKING GIVE!!!” I cry, tears starting to well up in my eyes now.
“You give? Well that’s cute honey! Shame we don’t have a referee to save you…” she chuckles and my blood runs cold… maybe teasing her about Heidi was a bad idea… tears are running down my cheeks now, the pain is so intense! She starts to rock back and fore increasing the pressure with each movement. Now we live in a quiet suburb and people talk… everyone mumbles and gossips about how Joanne and Heidi like to wrestle but this is just brutal! I was picturing a light tussle in the bedroom, a little spanking and some grabbing but holly fucking shit! This bitch is breaking me in half!
After a few minutes of torture she drops the hold and I feel her straddle my back… oh fuck I’m tired… I’ve been knocked out once this morning and now I’m getting jumped by the neighbourhood nightmare. She grabs my top and rips it off me “The Packers SUCK!!!“ she growls and I lay face down in a white vest top. The cold hits me and I feel her hands wrap into my hair and my head is jarred violently back as she rolls and scissors my waist. I’m facing the red sky now my white vest is covered in blades of freshly mown grass and a little see-through from the dew on the lawn. She tucks my head under her right armpit in a dragon sleeper hold.. Oh no… not again… two KO’s in one day? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!
She tightens the lock and chuckles “It’ll be over soon now bitch… hehehe! Yah… and don’t forget to dream of me!”
“Uuuuuggghhhh…..” is all I can manage as she tightens the lock… hang on… did she?… I’m sure I could feel a hand between my thighs there… dirty slut! But I’m in no state to do anything about it… my energy is draining fast, my arms drop outstretched either side of me and my head pounds for the second time today…
A gasp of air hits my lungs… how? What? Shit! Did she release the hold? I look up, my vision still blurry but I can make out the image of Jo pulling her jogging bottoms down to her knees and giggling like a school girl as she plants her panty covered mound on my face. I couldn’t believe it!!! The indignity! This cheeky whore!!!
“YOU BITCH!!!! I swear to God… to Satan… to whoever the fuck will listen that I’ll make you pay for this you fucking bimbo!!! I’ll hurt you so bad you’ll beg me to finish you! I’ll make you watch while I fuck your little girlfriend! I’ll make you scream so loud the neighbourhood dogs will all yap and howl! I’LL FUCKING END YOU BITCH!!!”
My rant was righteous and true… every word filled with passion and vengeance… it’s just a shame that with her arse on my face all that could be heard was
“MMMMmmmmmffffgggrrrrruuuppgggfffffttt!!!!” somehow… that lacked the resonance and impact I was going for in a revenge speech…
A moment later and I really was out, laying unconscious on the lawn, my hair in my face and my body a wreck as Jo stood up and giggled. Turning around she was greeted by an angry sight indeed…
“What the fuck are you doing on my lawn you tramp?” growled the furious blonde… her accent had a European flair to it, she was new to the area, she just moved over from Sweden and was quite beautiful… her long blonde hair, her bright blue eye’s shrouded in darkness, her eye liner giving her look a mischievous edge that teased so well… dressed in a red sleeveless blouse with a darker red floral embroidery all over it and tight, arse hugging jeans she looked every bit the sex goddess… and Joanne was never one to miss out on a flirt when she had the chance…
“Wow!… you’re hawt! I’m Joanne, a pleasure to meet you” she beamed, forgiving the tramp comment as her mind turned from fighting to fucking… Sarah looked at Joanne’s outstretched palm and took it, giving her a soft handshake right before her right shoe slammed into the joggers stomach!
“OOOMMMPPFFFTTT!!!” Joanne gasped doubling over and the Swede was quick to tuck her head under her right arm and fall back in a brutal DDT! Joanne’s head slammed into the turf, and although it was soft, the jarring impact was more than enough to knock the poor sex pest unconscious. The momentum of the move flung her head over heels and she finished on her back, eye’s closed and out cold.
“2 days I’ve been here and I have prostitutes fighting on my damn lawn… I knew I should have stayed in Sweden…” she laments before catching site of the wrapped Christmas present on her mailbox “OH! A housewarming gift!” she squeaks and takes the box, leaving me and Jo unconscious on her lawn.
Chapter 4: War!… Huh!… Yeah!… What is it good for? Well… beating up Jonica if you must knowJonica stared into Anna’s eyes and was instantly taken back to the day she was beating up both her and Gemma with relative ease… that day Kitten, our psychopathic human pet/pain in the arse was on hand to knock her out with a 5lb bag of fertiliser… but today… as far as Jonica knew I was KO’d in the house and Kitten was probably watching Cartoon Network or taking a dump in the garden… This didn’t look good…
“I said… who the fuck are you calling a cxnt, BITCH!” Anna growled and Jonica backed away…
“look… I know this isn’t exactly the right time to mention this but you’ve got no right being angry at me!” Jonica protests and Anna raises a quizzical eye brow “After all… you attacked me! It was Kitty who stomped your garden and it was Kitty who knocked you out! I didn’t do anything!”
“YOU were the bitch who was supposed to keep her in check! YOU were the little ring leader of your fucked up whore expedition! And YOU are the slut who cost me the Yard of the month trophy…” Anna raged and Jonica decided she had better handle this with an air of diplomacy, cunning and grace…
So she kicked her in the cxnt with all her might and sprinted as fast as she can screaming “I’M SORRY!!! DON’T KILL ME!!!”
Anna dropped to her knees clutching her pussy and growled her revenge… I guess Jonica never realised you shouldn’t piss off a marine who has a penchant for cat fighting… by the end of the day she’ll realise it though…
Chapter 5: It’s raining men! No wait… it’s just rainingI gasped and coughed as the cold water hit my face in tiny drops and trickles… my body was soaked and I was covered in grass clippings… I thought it strange that it should be raining, the day was cold but clear and bright but then I realised it the sprinklers on the lawn… fuck! I get up and hastily beat a retreat to the dry safety of the sidewalk and plot my revenge… Joanne took me by surprise. I had no idea she’d be such a good fighter and my overconfidence proved my downfall… but that won’t happen again… I swear it!
I’m on my way to Joanne’s house when I see Jonica screaming up the road as fast as her little legs could carry her and I was more than a little confused… normally that lazy bitch only runs when someone’s chasing her but there’s nobody in sight. As she passes I step out onto the road and clothes line the bitch! She hit’s the floor hard and rolls for about 3 meters… her momentum finally coming to a halt with her lying in a heap, hurting and breathing heavy.
“Hello bitch”
“Oh… *pant*… Hey Gemma… *pant*… *pant*…”
“What’s with the late night exercise?” I muse seeing the sweat drip off her
“well… *gasp*… Anna’s after me again and I thought discretion was the better part of valour…”
“So you ran away in other words…” I chuckle
“HEY!!! FUCK YOU!!! That bitch is tough!” she moans back at me and I help her up
“Well… believe it or not I actually need your help…” I begrudgingly admit
“Yeah I need you too…” she glumly replies
“Joanne’s got the gift” we answer in unison
“What?” Jonica cries surprised “how did you know?”
“Because she surprised me and took me down after I asked for it…” I admit
“HAHAHAHA!!!! You got your arse kicked TWICE in one day??? HAHAHAHAHA!!!” Jonica laughs until and underhand right to the belly shuts her up
“Fuck you! That bitch surprised me is all... And now she’s back home there’s two of them. I have a feeling Heidi’s just as tough so I’m going to need your help… and THEN… me and you are going to have a little talk bitch…” I growl as I stare daggers at her
“Fine… lets do this…”
Chapter 6: Santa’s going to be pissed…Kayla arrives home and limps through the door looking dishevelled and dirty, oil from the car she was trapped under ruining her clothes and her pride is quite dented…
“OH MY GOD!!! What happened?” Marie B asks in shock staring at her lover aghast
“That bitch Jonica…” Kayla replies, her tone low and distraught
“What did she do to you?” Marie asked rushing to help her off her feet and as Kayla takes a seat on the couch she reveals all about the attack she suffered in the parking lot and the resulting theft of the Christmas present. As the tale continues Marie gets madder and madder… her small, lithe agile body tensing and straining with pure untamed fury…
“That’s… that’s not…” she stammers, her rage so acute it makes her breathing laboured and punchy… a bead of sweat rolls down her forehead as her teeth grind together menacingly… “That’s not in the spirit of Christmas…” she finally says her right eye twitching uncontrollably as the normally quite serene and bubbly 4’11” blonde gymnast takes on an altogether more unhinged appearance…
She stands slowly and walks to the bedroom leaving Kayla to panic and reminisce about the Christmas massacre of 2008... Marie B you see has a certain affinity with Christmas… a psychotic need if you will to make sure that the principles and joys of the festive season are upheld… woe betide any who spoil the festivities… Kayla shudders as she remembers the sight of her sister Dawn tied up to the chimney naked, battered and bruised after she told Marie Santa isn’t real… she had the words “Santa is real & I’m his fuck whore” written on every inch of her body in permanent marker… and I mean EVERY inch…
Kayla knows Marie’s snapped and quickly picks up the phone and dials…
Joe “Hello?”
Kayla: “Hi, is Jonica there?”
Joe: “I‘m afraid not, can I take a message?”
Kayla: “Urm.. Yeah, ok. It‘s Kayla here, can you warn her that Marie‘s… not quite herself right now?… and that she might be coming over to pound her to dust?”
Joe: “oh, hey Kayla! I‘ll pass on the message… but how did you get this number? You, Gemma & Jonica hate each other!”
Kayla: “Yeah… I know… this is a pretty flimsy plot to be honest and I think the writer was too dumb to think of anything else”
Joe: “oh… fair enough, she is pretty lazy… but damn, she’s got a sweet ass… So why does Marie want to beat on Jonica this time?
Kayla: “for ruining the spirit of Christmas”
Joe: “Okay… well I’ll let her know, you have a good day now”
Kayla: “bye bye honey!”
While Kayla was on the phone Marie B prepared for war… she slid on her red and green stripped leggings and her green pointed elf boots with the bells on the end. Then she put on her Santa’s little helper yellow blouse and over that she put on a red sparkly waistcoat finishing her look with a green pointy elf hat with a big golden bell on it she stared at the mirror and made a list and checked it twice…
Naughty girls who must be punished…
1. Jonica
Reason for punishment: attempted to ruin ChristmasHer eyes flared up with an unholy light as she stared at the mirror… her right eye twitching uncontrollably as she whispers to herself “What would Santa do…… What would Santa do…… What would Santa do……” over and over again…
Chapter 8: Ho, Ho, Ho’s…“Ok Jonica… let me do the talking alright? Lord knows you lack a certain charm that’s needed in these delicate matters… Maybe this won’t have to get physical” I order as we approach Joanne’s front door
“What‘s that supposed to mean?” she complains with a hurt look on her face
“It means you‘re a fucking idiot and the moment you open your cock sucking mouth, you make people want to punch it” I growl
“Oh right… why didn‘t you just say that!” she finishes as I knock three times on the front door. Joanne answers looking a bit dishevelled with strands of grass in her hair and I begin to wonder… why is she looking rough? I’m the one who got my arse kicked!. I was about to offer an olive branch but Jonica offered her right fist before I could say anything…
“JONICA!!!” I screamed angrily and she just smiled at me
“What? I kept my mouth shut!” she chuckled looking pleased she’s got me into yet more trouble as she walks through the threshold and around the dropped blonde rolling in pain on the floor
“Right slut… we want that present back now you thieving bitch!” she growled as she turned to face the door, Joanne now trapped between us. Unfortunately Joanne’s girlfriend wasn’t trapped… she just walked into the room and is standing right behind the oblivious Jonica looking rather pissed.
“uh… Joni…” I started
“In a minute Gemma… So Blondie? Where is it BITCH!”
“yeah but Joni?”
“Hold On! Well Jo? Where’s my fucking present you skanked up whore!”
“oh jeez… Joni?”
“I SAID SHUT UP!!!” Jonica screamed and I duly obeyed and smiled as the angry blonde behind her gripped her waist and nailed the bitch in a belly to back suplex!
“AAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!” Jonica cried as the back of her head and shoulders slammed into the unforgiving floor. She crashed into a heap and as quick as a flash Heidi locked her up in a figure 4 head scissors armbar combo. Jonica’s left arm was tucked tight under Heidi’s right arm and her head was locked in a vicious leg lock choking her while her shoulder got torn. After a moment of chuckling to myself the realisation that she’s on my side hit in! FUCK! We’re here to get the present! Come on Gemma, you can see Jonica get her arse kicked any day of the week! Start focusing on the task at hand.
I ripped Joanne up by her hair and applied a sleeper hold tightly around her neck and immediately her arms flailed wild and helplessly
“HEY! Let her go!!!” Heidi protested, hating to see her partner in pain (well… pain that she wasn’t inflicting anyway…)
“You let the dumb one go first!” I reply
“No fucking way! This cxnt’s getting her ass knocked out!” she answered tightening her choking leg lock
“Fine! Better wish Jo some sweet dreams while you can!” I growl angrily as my left arm tightens clamping around her neck and forcing a whimper from the tired vixen. We were now caught in a strange game… racing to knock out the others partner first. I could see Jonica’s free right arm drop and her kicking and thrashing legs slow down to a meek stomp or two but I knew Joanne wasn’t fairing any better. Her arms were hanging lifeless by her side now and her legs were tiring out as I lowered her slowly to the ground.
Heidi tensed her powerful legs one last time but Jonica didn’t move… she was out cold and at the same moment the last bit of strength and resistance in Jo faded and she was done.
I stood and faced off against Heidi… she was an impressive sight to be sure. She didn’t actually flirt with me in the supermarket, I just wanted to piss off Joanne… and looking at her right now I’d say flirting is the last thing on her mind.
“Get the fuck out of my house and take that fucking trash with you!” she hisses pointing at Jonica passed out on the floor
“Not until I get that fucking present!” I growl back as we circle each other in the living room
“The only present you’ll be getting off me bitch is a lesson in fucking manners… this is your last chance bitch…”
“Bring it!” I purr my hands raised beckoning her towards me and she obeys… charging head on with a scream like a banshee! I slam a hard right into her stomach as her arms are raised and hear a satisfying whoosh of air come out of her but the momentum was too much to stop as she slams into me and we barrel onto the hard floor, her weight on top of me winds me slightly as I struggle to get free of her.
Her hands grasp and move position so fast! I’m amazed at her technical skill… I learnt the hard way that Joanne was a devastating wrestler but could Heidi be even better? I could feel her legs wrap around my neck and struggled as she pulled on my left arm… this was a hold I wasn’t familiar with until I saw her knock Jonica out with it a few moments ago… I knew I couldn’t let her sink it in and bucked wildly until my head was freed and I was behind her as she laid face down I quickly wrapped my hands around her waist and heaved back!
I arched my back sharply as she screamed, her feet leaving the floor as the momentum of my move throws her back into a hard suplex! Or at least that was the plan… unfortunately I didn’t realise there was a coffee table right behind me… I didn’t have the room to complete my arch and slammed my back right into the table with Heidi’s full weight on top of me! The wood shattered into a kindling as we smashed through the table top and onto the carpeted floor.
Heidi was quick to roll off me and we scrambled to our feet, with my back aching, she was a fraction quicker and threw a hard right hook into my jaw, knocking me onto the couch as I staggered backwards blindly. She leaped on me, straddling my lap and that was her first mistake… I had to make sure it was her last… I powered up to my feet with her legs around my waist and her hands ripping at my hair, she was screaming obscenities until I threw my momentum forward hard! I nailed her in a solid spine buster and she went limp as the weight of me landing on her chest knocked the air out of her.
I stood up fast, keeping her arms trapped under my arms and twisted over trapping her in a Boston Crab. The sharp pain jolting through her back light lightning quickly cleared the fog from her eyes and the screaming started
“FUUUUUUCK!!!!! YOU BITCH!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!” she cried, her palm pounding the carpet
“Tell me where the fucking present is!!!” I roared back, pulling back on her legs a little more each few seconds
“WHAT??? What the fuck are you talking about???” she screamed back through gritted teeth
“The present! The present Joanne stole of Jonica? She brought it back here!”
“Nnnngggg….. No! You fucking idiot!!! She said the woman who’s lawn she kicked… Aaaaaggghhh… your ass on came out and took it!!!” Her words kind of took me by surprised…
“Errr… huh?”
“The blonde girl!!!! Where you two fought!!! AAAGGGHHH!!!! She took it! Let me fucking go!!!” Heidi screamed
“Oh shit… look…. I’m going to let you go now ok? Promise me you’ll be rational about this?” I say as I try to negotiate a peaceable retreat only to be answered with a mighty “FUCK YOU!!!!!!!” so I did what anyone would do in that situation… I dropped her legs and got the fuck out of there! As I fled through the door I thought to myself ‘I’m sure Jonica will be fine… and if not… who cares?’
