The Unknown Wrestling Wars: American Legend vs. British Legend In The Ring!
By: Supporturgoddess
Most wrestling fans know of the infamous Monday night wrestling wars, in which two giant pro-wrestling companies battled over the television audience. Few, however, know of the ‘secret’ war raged between two legendary female wrestling troupes.
During the ‘golden age’, two groups fought over a worldwide fan base. In one corner was the America-based ‘Hollywood Golden All-Stars of Wrestling’. In the opposite corner were their rivals, the ‘British Dream Girls of the Ring’. The two groups fought for fans, arena space, and television markets. Far removed from today’s short, choreographed matches, ‘golden era’ matches were real…if highly embellished. Every athlete took on a role and played up her character. Both organizations knew how to put on a show.
Each side tried to squeeze the other out of media markets. Fans generally agreed the British Dream Girls were better athletes who fought more exciting matches, but that the American ‘Hollywood All-Stars’ had the better overall show, due to a much larger roster.
Both groups came under intense pressure from hostile takeover bids from two of America’s ‘Big Three’ wrestling companies. To survive, ‘All-Stars’ and ‘Dream Girls’ agreed to a shaky alliance. They agreed to let their stars compete head-to-head, and to accept a single champion.
In those days, the American championship circulated between two fighters, a ‘villain’ named Susan ‘The Heiress’ Luggio, and a popular ‘good girl’, ‘Surfer Girl’ Sally Meadows. 5’3”, 120 lb Susan played the part of a villainess to perfection. She only won by cheating, and when she lost, she threw tantrums. 5’2”, 110 lb. Sally, by contrast, was an accomplished wrestler whose trademarks were a surfboard hold and a classic pile driver. Though the Californian’s bright smile and small size made her a fan favorite, Sally was as tough as anyone and was known to bend the rules.
Across the pond, one girl had emerged as a legend. Pocket-sized Pamela Paddington was originally hired to play the part of a cheating villainess. Early on, the most popular ‘Dream Girl’ was a tiny, elfin-featured sweetheart named Dottie Rue. Though not a true dwarf or little person, the 4’10”, 88 lb. darling called herself ‘The Fairy Queen’, for obvious reasons. Promoters saw five-foot-tall, 105 lb. Pamela as the perfect rival for their tiny star. To further the rivalry, Pam called herself ‘The Pixie Princess’. Their matches were some of the best ever. Pamela did her best to play the part of a villain. Her most notorious move was to blow or rub ‘Pixie Dust’--actually glitter-- in her opponent’s eyes. Despite Pamela’s best efforts, she soon grew far more popular than Dottie. Pam went on to win her feud with ‘The Fairy Queen’ and become champion. She held the title for years. There was just something about the tiny, angel-faced girl who could fight as dirty as anyone--if necessary--that the fans couldn’t get enough of.
Naturally the two leagues put up their best girls to decide the single champion. Pamela defeated Sally by a last moment pin, and then lost the title to Sally by sleeper-hold knockout. Pam would eventually retake the title for good, defeating both Sally and ‘Heiress’ Susan Luggio in multiple matches.
The golden era was unfortunately short-lived. One of the American ‘Big Three’ swallowed up ‘Hollywood All-Stars’ and ended the informal alliance with ‘British Dream Girls’. They weren’t about to end the era with a Brit as champion. They arranged a final title match between champion Pamela ‘The Pixie Princess’ and ‘Surfer Girl’ Sally. Twenty minutes into a brutal match, Sally and the referee exchanged nods. The fix was in. The referee shamelessly allowed Sally to get away with clearly illegal moves, while preventing Pamela from fighting back. Sally gave Pamela a terrible beat down. Sally left Pamela out cold in the ring, taking her title and effectively ending her career through injury. Squeezed out by ’The Big Three’ and deprived of their greatest star, ‘British Dream Girls of the Ring’ folded a year later. The ‘Golden Era’ was over.
That was the past. Cut to present day. Two legends of the ring faced off across a ring. Having long regretted taking U.K. and European markets for granted, the giant pro-wrestling organization that had taken over “All-Stars” sought to gain a foothold in the market by holding a one-night reunion of girls from the ‘golden era’.
Only one match remained. The winner of the main event would be proclaimed ‘the greatest golden era champion of all time’. To add to the hyperbole, the league promised a ‘knockdown, drag out, no-holds-barred fight to the finish, until only one woman remains standing!’ The league chose ‘Surfer Girl’ Sally and ‘Heiress’ Susan Luggio to fight for the title of best ever. When Brits demanded their greatest star be made part of the event, the league only let her act as a ring announcer.
The American announcer’s voice boomed. “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to this title match. The two greatest wrestlers of the golden age are in the ring to decide who is the best of all time!”
The U.K. announcer broke in. “Many would say the best ever has been excluded from the match, and is sitting here between us.”
Still wearing her trademark sparkling-red sequined swimsuit, which she wore to take pictures with fans before the matches, Pamela smiled, as her fans cheered. The five-foot-tall, 107 lb. Brit said, “I wanted to fight for the title tonight, but the Americans wouldn’t have it!”
The bell rang. The American announcer’s voice rang out. “It’s Susan ‘The Heiress’ at 5’3” and 130 lbs in the black one-piece suit and black boots against ‘Surfer Girl’ Sally at 5’2”, 125 lbs. in the yellow one-piece swimsuit and barefoot. Susan shoves Sally, hard! Sally shoves back! They push and shove wildly, until Sally shoves Susan to her back! Sue kicks Sally’s legs out from under her! Susan rolls on top! It’s Susan with a reverse toe hold on ‘Surfer Girl’ Sally!
Susan punished Sally with the foot twist for several minutes.
The American announcer trumpeted, “What action!”
“What action?” asked his Brit counterpart. “We’re three minutes in, and we’ve seen only one hold!”
Sue kept twisting Sally’s ankle, as Sally pounded the mats with one fist. Finally, when the referee turned his back, ‘bad girl’ Susan bit the ‘Surfer Girl’s’ bare foot. Sally wailed, but by the time the referee spun around, Susan had stopped. She feigned innocence. Susan repeated the ploy again and again.
The ‘California Surfer Girl’ broke free and took control. Sally seized Sue by her long, black hair and hurtled her to the ropes. Sue bounced back. Sally swatted her down. Sally turned ‘The Heiress’ onto her front, put her foot between Susan’s shoulder blades, and pulled back her wrists, riding Susan with her signature move, ‘the surfboard’.
Pamela complained, “Do they call this wrestling? These fans were promised a grudge match, a fight to the finish! Look at them! They haven’t even started to sweat!”
Susan broke free and rolled out of the ring. The crowd booed. The move was not only cowardly, but also old and worn. Susan repeatedly approached the ring, but each time Sally charged, Sue leapt back down, forcing the referee to start the count from the start.
Pamela threw up her hands. “Is this what these fans paid to see? These fans were promised a wild fight to the finish! Instead, Sally and Susan are taking it easy on each other, just running out the clock!”
The British fans began to boo more and more, as Sally and Susan exchanged low-impact, low-risk moves. Then, inexplicably, the referee stepped between the women, just as they each threw a high kick. Sally’s bare foot smashed against one side of his face, as Susan’s boot struck the other side. The referee fell out of the ring. Sally and Susan rolled along the ropes. It was perfectly obvious to the fans that neither woman was putting anything into their struggle.
Pamela slapped her palms to her thighs. “Oh! This is outrageous! Don’t you see? The match has been rigged! The fix is in! With no referee to call the match, Sally and Susan will pretend to fight until the time limit is up! The match will be declared a draw, allowing both of them to claim to be the best ever! This was obviously planned before the match began!”
The American announcer sneered. “What are you implying?”
Pamela threw down her headset and stood.
The American seized Pam’s wrist. “Where do you think you’re going?”
Pamela warned, “Unless you want that hand broken, I suggest you let me go!” She pulled free. The crowd erupted with cheers, as Pamela charged down the aisle and climbed into the ring, still wearing the glistening red swimsuit she had worn to take pictures with her fans, earlier.
Sally sneered. “What do you think you’re doing, ‘Princess’?
Pamela took the house microphone and said, “These fans were promised the ultimate grudge match. Instead, you obviously planned to cheat them out of their money by staging a boring, fake fight, ending in a tie. These fans deserve better! According to the old league’s rules, if a referee cannot continue, ANY official can call the match. By making me an announcer, the league has made ME an official, at least for tonight! I’m your new referee, ladies! I promise you this match won’t end until someone lies utterly, thoroughly, absolutely beaten!”
The crowd went wild!
Susan waved her hands, turning to leave the ring.
“What’s wrong,” Pamela teased, her voice booming over house amplifiers. “Are you afraid Sally is too much for you to handle?”
Susan spun, shouting, “Not on her best day!”
Susan shoved Sally, hard. Sally shoved back. Smiling smugly, Pamela leaned back on the ropes and watched, as the two Americans tore into each other…for real! With pride, egos, and reputations on the line, they held nothing back. ‘The Heiress’ drew blood, biting, scratching, and raking fingers in Sally’s eyes. Sally responded with jaw-breaking punches and rib-cracking kicks. ‘The Heiress’ tortured ‘The Surfer Girl’ with leg spreads, choke holds, and hair pulls. Sally punished Sue with surfboards, airplane spins, flying mares, and drop kicks.
Pamela delighted in wickedly taunting both girls. When Susan lie crumpled in a ball, Pamela shook her head, asking, “Is that all you have? Is Sally too good for you?”
When Sally seemed ready to surrender, Pamela spanked Sally’s hip with her bare foot, teasing, “You’ve spread out a bit back here, haven’t you? Are you too out of shape to match Susan?”
Pamela’s taunts forced the proud warriors to fight on.
After ten minutes of brutal, savage action, both Americans lie flat on their bellies, head to head, beaten and bloodied, gasping for breath.
Pamela pranced around them, taunting them mercilessly, trying to get them to continue the fight. Susan and Pamela looked up into each others eyes, snarled, and then leapt up and charged…right at Pamela! Fists pounded the Brit to the mats! The dazed British legend sat up, legs wide apart, mouth agape in shock.
Sally took the microphone. “Enough! This match is under old-league rules. In those days, you were still an active wrestler! We’ve had enough of you, ‘Princess!’ Get up and fight, Brit! Let the world see which of us is REALLY the best ever, once and for all!”
Pamela ‘The Pixie Princess’ rose, forced into a fight with both of her most dangerous enemies!
At first all three women exchanged wild punches, but soon the two Americans joined forces against the Englishwoman. The crowd booed, as the slightly larger Americans pounded the little Brit. Pamela wobbled back into a corner. Sally and Susan took turns kicking Pam, and then each tossed one of Pamela’s arms over her shoulder and, working together, lifted the Brit upside down, lifting her high above them before falling back into a suplex, sending Pamela crashing to her back. The Americans took turns. One would hold down Pamela’s ankles while the other crashed down in a cross-body splash, then they traded places. Sally leapt up and dropped her thighs across Pam’s face. Pamela’s feet flew up then dropped, awkwardly. Susan pulled Pam to her feet and pinned her arms back. With the crowd booing wildly, Sally mocked the Brit, bitch-slapping her cheeks raw. The Americans sent the Brit flying to the ropes. Suddenly Pamela leapt up. Toes curling around the middle rope, she bounced off, spun completely around in mid air, and crashed down sideways, taking down both her foes! The fans cheered.
Furious at being double-teamed, the British spitfire began beating the living daylights out of BOTH Americans! Wild punches sent Susan flying from the ring. Sally, however, was a much tougher opponent. She was Pamela’s match. They even shared a vague resemblance, each small,
with Sally’s brown hair only slightly longer than Pamela’s shoulder-length, black hair. The two traded fists and kicks for more than a minute, but finally, Pamela had Sally on her heels. Pamela smacked both bare feet into Sally’s face with a drop kick and covered her, but there was no referee to count Sally out. The crowd cried out. Pamela looked up, just as the recovered ‘Heiress’ charged into the ring and slammed the heavy, metal bell into Pamela’s head. Pamela dropped. Despite blood trickling from under her bangs, the Brit fought on. She floored Susan again, but Sally recovered, spun Pam, and mercilessly drove fists into the gash in Pamela’s forehead. Pamela’s legs gave out. Sally picked her up and tossed her to the ropes. As she rebounded, Pam saw Sally ducking low, to flip her. Pamela nimbly leapfrogged over Sally…straight into a flying hangman close line by Susan that nearly took Pam’s head off. Pam fell holding her throat, gagging.
The Brit announcer shouted, “Each time Pamela has one American defeated, the other attacks by surprise! Two against one is unfair!”
With the bloodied Brit lying between them, Sally lifted one of Pamela’s feet, Susan the other. They leapt back in opposite directions, almost tearing Pamela apart the way you might snap apart a holiday turkey’s wishbone! Pamela writhed in anguish, but she refused to disappoint the fans so loyal to her. Despite her pain, she refused to quit. Susan held up Pamela’s legs, spreading them so Sally could stomp between them. Sally then rolled out of the ring, while Susan dragged Pamela to a corner. Sally seized Pamela’s ankle, pulled her leg out of the ring, and then slammed her knee against the steel ring post, again and again. She then slammed the Brits bare foot to the pole a dozen times. Pamela cried out wildly. Sally held both Pamela’s feet, put her own foot up on the pole, and kicked back, yanking Pamela spread-legged into the steel pole! Pamela’s scream brought gasps from the crowd! Sally rolled back into the ring. She grinned wickedly and pulled the writhing, sobbing Englishwoman to a British television camera. ‘Surfer Girl Sally’ bit the bottom of Pamela’s foot savagely, trying to shame her by forcing her to beg for mercy with her face staring straight into a camera. Sally wanted all of Pamela’s fans to see their hero broken. Susan added to Pamela’s agony, grinding her boot into Pam’s knee. Pamela wailed, but still refused to surrender. Sally switched holds. She wrapped her legs around one of Pamela’s thighs, her arms around the other, and spread Pamela’s legs wide apart in a forced split. Sally tortured the Brit for several agonizing minutes. Pamela was forced to tears, but refused to surrender. Susan rolled out and returned with a steel chair. They set the chair up, lifted Pamela high over it, and then slammed Pam’s lower back down over the back of the chair. Pamela couldn’t even scream. Her fans screamed for her, fearing for her safety!
Finally, a referee charged toward the ring from the back.
Sally looked at Susan and shrugged. “Our fun’s over. We’d better finish her.”
Susan climbed to the top ropes in a corner. Sally doubled Pamela over and slapped her thighs around Pam’s face. Sally lifted Pamela upside-down, Pam’s feet high over head, her face held tight between Sally’s thighs. Susan held Pamela’s feet and jumped down, just as Sally leapt down. Together, they drove Pamela’s head into the mat with a forced pile driver so hard they almost broke the little Englishwoman’s neck!
Pamela jolted in violent spasms for a few seconds, then she lie deathly still.
Sally stepped back and motioned to Susan. “You may have the honors.”
Susan smiled and moved to pin Pamela. Suddenly Sally grabbed Susan from behind, spun her around, doubled her over with a brutal kick, slammed her thighs around her countrywoman’s head, and drove Susan’s head into the mats with another pile driver! As the referee entered the ring, Sally smiled broadly to the cameras, pinning Susan. 1,2,3! The crowd booed. The referee started to raise Sally’s hand in victory, but Sally wanted more. She sat on Pamela and pulled Pam’s lifeless leg into the air, rolling her up on her shoulders. The referee counted 1,2,3!
‘Surfer Girl Sally’ held the championship belt high overhead, claiming the title of the best wrestler of the golden era. Cups flew. The crowd booed. Guards hurried Sally away from the increasingly angry mob! Susan staggered to the back, furious, but thankful just to be in one piece. Poor little Pamela had to be carried from the ring on a stretcher, her neck in a brace. Just as Sally reached the doors with her title belt, she heard an unexpected, deafening cheer from the crowd. It seems that just as the bloody, beaten little Brit was put into a waiting ambulance, she regained consciousness long enough to whisper two words. “Rematch, please….”
