The RSM had dozed off but his phone woke him a 7am. "RSM, it's Reeve at the Guard House, there's a Police car parked out the front. I heard about the ruckus last night from Shorty when I took over. They say they're waiting for the Colonel. The Sergeant in charge seems pretty pissed."
"Thanks Corporal, you did right calling me. Don't leave the gate open today, just let the vehicles through as they come. DO NOT let those fuckers in."
The RSM rang the Colonel, he could hear his kids playing in the background. The Colonel knew it must be serious or the RSM wouldn't be ringing him.
"RSM, I was just about to walk in, I'll be there in 10 minutes, can't it wait?" the Colonel said
The RSM briefed him.
"RSM, I know you wouldn't ring me without a plan." said the Colonel, frowning. What the RSM told him made him smile.
At a leisurely 8.30am the Colonel, in service dress rather than the fatigues he normally wore, drove up and parked to the side of the gate. Three rumpled looking cops tumbled out of their car. The Colonel's beautiful wife then got out of the passenger seat and they kissed before she got in the driver's seat and the oldest girl got in the front seat. The Colonel then went around the car and kissed and hugged each of his children in turn, while the cops scratched awkwardly at the pavement with their shoes. Finally the Colonel turned with his leather briefcase and stopped as if seeing the cops for the first time.
The gate was now open and the RSM, resplendent in the service dress he normally wore, marched up smartly "RSM, what is all this about?" the Colonel asked bewildered.
"I'm sorry Sir, they're here to see you." said the RSM "but I told them to make an appointment."
"Quite so, my schedule is packed for today." said the Colonel as the Police Sergeant approached him.
But before he could speak the Colonel's mustache bristled and he said acidly "Sergeant, I do not much care for being ambushed like this outside my own base."
"I'm sorry Sir but I had reason to believe I would not receive much cooperation and I needed to serve this on you personally immediately Sir." said the Sergeant handing the Colonel a warrant who handed it to the RSM without looking at it.
"What reason did you have to think you wouldn't receive cooperation?" asked the Colonel in a withering tone.
"Well it's just that last night Sir, I was denied access to the base..." said the Sergeant.
The Colonel turned swiftly and stabbed his finger at the sign above the gate. "That might have been because this is an ARMY base Sergeant, not a POLICE base." you don't just waltz in here whenever you feel like it. There are very specific provisions, of which I am well aware, of when we are required to cooperate with civilian authorities and WE do so with courtesy and respect, which is more than I can say for your approach, Sergeant."
"Fuck, don't overdo it." thought the RSM as the two junior policemen were clearly struggling not to laugh at their Sergeant's discomfiture.
The Colonel appeared to control himself with difficulty and continued in a calmer tone "So if you've delivered your package Sergeant you can be on your way."
"Sorry Sir, but I need the tape before I go." said the Sergeant almost cringing waiting for the next riposte in reply. The two other cops actually shut their eyes.
The Colonel looked askance at the Sergeant "RSM what is the Police Sergeant talking about?"
"Oh, it's a Warrant Sir, for the footage from that camera for last night." said the RSM pointing over his shoulder.
The Colonel gave an exasperated sigh "What on Earth do you want that for..." he held up his hand "never mind, just give it to him RSM." and turned to go.
"Can't Sir, the camera wasn't working. There is no tape." said the RSM.
The Sergeant pulled a face that said "You've got to be fucking joking".
The Colonel turned and said "Well there's you're answer, Sergeant. If you'd simply telephoned ahead we could have saved you a wasted journey."
The Sergeant ground his teeth but doggedly persisted "Sir, I also need to speak to you about a matter involving your men... and women involved in a brawl in a pub last night."
The Colonel was almost starting to like this cop.
"Indeed, well that would be a serious matter. We'll have to have a legal officer present for that discussion. Protocol. Could I ask you to liaise with the RSM and set up an appointment? Might be best to bring your Inspector with you too if you don't mind. Now if you'll excuse me, gentlemen, I'm late for an inspection." and he strode off.
The RSM nodded to the Sergeant and smiled at the other two cops on the verge of hysterics and followed his Colonel.