JENN PECCAVI: Well, there’s Marie. Again. She’s standing right in front of me; a smirk on her face. I don’t know how she tracked me down this time but there she is, standing there in that stupid red dress of hers ….and why she always wears a dress when looking for a fight is beyond me. Of course, I’m in a dress too, since she’s found me on a day I’m trying a case in court in my position as barrister, representing my client in a libel suit. Plainly, Marie wants to fight me again. Jeez, when is she ever going to learn what’s good for her? The fact is……
MARIE B.: ….we’ve fought five times already. Yes, Jenn beat me the first four times and she’s probably wondering why I want to go at it again. But, to me, the important part is that I won the last fight. I finally figured out how to defeat someone who is so much bigger than me……and I want to do it again! Yes, I’m well aware that…
JENN:….I’m a fighter, not someone who allows people to beat on me without returning fire. In my life as a big bullying bitch, I’ve been involved in some of the damndest punch-outs anyone’s ever seen. In my career as a barrister, I’ve sometimes mused how it would be if I could win cases for my client by punching out the opposing counsel(!) But my problem today isn’t another case; it’s the runt standing in front of me. I still can’t understand what she hopes to accomplish by fighting me. Doesn’t she remember that….
MARIE:….the first time we fought was in a public library. I initiated the fight, I admit that. Still, Jenn beat the shit out of me, there’s no escaping it. For a big girl, she was much faster than I thought she’d be and I just didn’t fight her correctly; standing in front of her and looking to exchange shots. It was stupid on my part and she finished the fight by tipping over a bookshelf and burying me under a pile of library books. I should have learned then not to bother her anymore. Instead, I….
JENN:….challenged me to a fight at a beach in Australia. Marie put up a great battle; I can’t deny that. In the end, though, I pounded her senseless and buried her again……this time in a mound of sand. Okay, you think she would have gotten the message not to mess with me by then, right? But no; instead, we wound up battling again….
MARIE:….in a broom closet in City Hall, for heaven’s sake. Of all the places I’ve challenged Jenn, this had to be my dumbest idea yet. The room was so small that I had no space to maneuver. The last thing I should ever do is look to fight an opponent in close quarters like that because I had no space to make her chase me. It ended badly once again; Jenn punched me out, then threw me head first into a waste basket, where I remained until an amused janitor let me out. So, now you figure I’ve learned my lesson, right? But, no; I surprised Jenn by attacking her….
JENN:….in a botanical park in Australia. I didn’t even know the little bitch was in my native country, but suddenly, there she was, running at me full tilt and looking to take me down. Once again, she was engaging me head-on, as if she were the same size and strength as me. I
was surprised, that’s for sure, and Marie landed some good shots before I was able to turn things around and punch her lights out. I left her lying unconscious, draped over a statue that adorned the memorial garden. Okay, so I figured she had finally learned her lesson, right? That’s why I was shocked when she turned up again on a beach in Australia, looking to tangle with me for a fifth time. I thought the runt must be delusional, but little did I know that Marie finally….
MARIE:….figured out how to do it right. All the other times, I had foolishly played into Jenn’s strength. She knew very well how to handle an opponent who stands in front of her and looks to punch with her. How in hell did I ever expect to beat Jenn by doing that? I’ve got the will, but not the size. But while recuperating from the other beatings I suffered at her hands, I realized I had failed to use the assets I
do possess; maneuverability, speed and elusiveness. This time, we met at the snack bar just off the beach. No broom closets this time! I had room to move around and stay out of Jenn’s reach. And I did it! I made her chase me and stayed in one place only long enough to land measured kicks and punches at the bigger girl. It took longer than I thought for Jenn to tire, but she eventually did. I’m a gymnast and Jenn doesn’t have my level of aerobic conditioning. By the time we were done, she was totally exhausted and was forced to surrender, just as I had surrendered the other times. When the fight was over, I wanted….
JENN:….to hug me. Hug me? Fuck that! It was the last thing I wanted to do, but Marie had her arms wrapped around me before I could get my breath again. I don’t take losing lightly….. and I’ll tell you the worst thing about fighting Marie; the idea of engaging in battle with someone as small as her in front of other people. Whatever happens, there’s no way to come out of it looking good. If I win, they say I’m beating someone half my size and don’t want to give me any credit. If I lose? Oh man, forget it! Then, I’ve been beaten by a girl who’s the size of a twelve-year-old. Well, there were plenty of people watching the fight at the snack bar that day, let me tell you. As the fight went on, it was increasingly demoralizing to realize that Marie was getting the better of me. I was sucking wind and she was fresh as a daisy. No one was laughing (they better not!), but I can only imagine what they must have been thinking, watching this little girl wear me out and defeat me. Many of these folks had seen me tangle with much bigger girls…..and beat them! They were well aware of….
MARIE:….Jenn’s reputation as a tough girl. I don’t know when I’ve had as much satisfaction as I felt that day on the beach. Finally, after four discouraging losses, I had beaten Jenn Peccavi. Well, it’s been a few years now …..and I want to have that feeling again! That’s why I traveled down to Australia when I read that Jenn would be trying a case in court. I figured to find her before the trial got started and take her down in front of anyone who might be watching. I reasoned that a courtroom would be a large enough setting to allow me to stay out of her reach. No more fighting in close quarters! And now that I’m in the courtroom, watching Jenn as she watches me, I can almost read the thoughts going through her mind. She must know that….
JENN:….Marie will be feeling confident now, figuring she now knows the strategy needed to defeat me. Truth be told, I’m a little worried about it, too. And I hate the fact that
anything about fighting Marie B. could cause me worry. In fact, the longer I stand here thinking about this, the madder I get. How
dare she make me feel this way? How dare she come into my workplace looking to challenge me? Yes, I was surprised to see the pipsqueak show up here, but I’m adaptable enough to know that there’s no way out of this. It’s going to happen…..and I’m ready for it. Marie can see that….
MARIE:….Jenn’s not going to allow me my moment of surprise. Oh shit, I thought she would be shocked long enough for me to launch my attack before she was ready. Instead….
JENN:…. I kicked off my shoes and went for Marie’s throat with my outstretched hands. My goal was to start and finish the fight in quick fashion. There were about ten other people in the courtroom, watching in shock and surprise as they saw a big girl launching herself at a smaller one. I can only imagine what they must have been thinking. Realizing I had no time to worry about it, I reached Marie in a split-second and…
MARIE:….she had me by the jaw. But only for a millisecond, because I slammed my knee into her stomach as she grabbed hold of me. She was unprepared for the counter-attack, not being used to opponents as fast as me. On my trip down to Australia, I kept reviewing my strategy of how I would attack Jenn. I knew it wasn’t just a question of getting in the first shot; she was too much of a fighter to be defeated by a strong initial attack. Instead, my strategy was to not stand directly in front of Jenn and let her punch me to death….. that was the primary thing. I knew there would be tables, chairs and other furniture I could climb on to launch my attack from every conceivable angle….. while arranging to be out of Jenn’s reach when she retaliated. That’s my plan, and it’s a good one, but….
JENN:…Marie must know I’m not going to let her wear me out the way she did on the beach. She thinks she’s the only one who’s learned a lesson? Hell, I’ve learned, too……and I’m damned if I’m going to chase the little shit all over the courtroom. Let her come to me. When she does, I’ll grab her…..and once I do….
MARIE:….once she does, it would be lights out for me. Look, I know I’m going to take some shots from her; she’s a big girl, but I can’t make the mistake of thinking she’s a slowpoke, because she isn’t. So, I’m dancing around her, using my movement and lateral speed to run circles around Peccavi. I want to aggravate her into running after me. Wait till she sees this move! I’m bending backward and getting ready to….
JENN:….turn a reverse handspring and thrust herself onto the counsel’s table! Why, that little bitch! A fuckin’ gymnastic maneuver in a catfight! The people in the courtroom are smiling at what they just saw, but all I can think is that in the other fights I’ve had with women (and there have been plenty), my opponents want to engage in battle, not do acrobatics as if they’re in a freakin’ circus! Look at Marie! The half-pint is standing on the table……
MARIE:….laughing at Jenn! No, it’s not that I find anything particularly funny; it’s just that I want her to see me taunting her. And believe me, the look on her face shows me it’s working. The corners of her mouth are turned down in a grimace of hatred as I watch her turn her eyes toward the dozen people in the courtroom who are watching the two well-dressed women in combat. Jenn shouts at me to come down off the table and fight her like a woman! In answer, I ask her to join me on the table. She makes no effort to climb up but she approaches the table, her eyes narrowed in anger at my haughty attitude. As soon as she gets close enough, I….
JENN:….kicks me in the mouth! She did it so quickly I didn’t have time to realize she was going to do it, much less block it. Her foot smacks me smartly in the mouth, making my lips sting and hurting my teeth. Without meaning to, I reach for my mouth and when I do, Marie draws back her leg and rams her heel into my forehead….
MARIE:….causing Jenn to reel back a few steps. The people in the courtroom laugh and the look on Jenn’s face tells me she wishes this whole day had never happened. She stands flat-footed, staring balefully at me and I wonder what she’s going to do now. Jenn has already indicated she has no intention of trying to chase me down, so I do what any disrespecting punk would do; I raise my middle finger, kiss it…..and extend it gently at her face. I knew this would aggravate her, but….
JENN:… I didn’t expect it to infuriate me the way it did. After all, I knew she would be trying tactics like this to get me to pursue her. But I looked at the twerp standing on a table, daring to smile and throw me the finger! Seeing it, I forgot everything I intended to do and I found myself….
MARIE:….climbing on the fuckin’ table to get me! Jeez, I didn’t expect she would actually come after me like that. She mounted the table much quicker than I thought she could, too. I smashed my foot into her face again, thinking it would stop her forward progress, but she was too strong and solid. Jenn took the shot cleanly, her head rocking back slightly. Then, her eyes narrowed again and she stood up on the table. I was ready to jump off and start again from ground zero, but Jenn’s speed surprised me as she grabbed the front of my dress and pulled me roughly toward her. Her right fist rocketed toward my face but I was able to turn aside and she landed only a glancing blow on my cheekbone. It was a good thing for me, too, because the power behind that punch….
JENN:….would have ended Marie’s day in court immediately, I want to tell you. I kept my grip on the front of her dress and she kneed me in the groin. It was a hard shot and it hurt but I still held onto her and used my other hand to issue a whistling backhand slap to her face. It landed solidly and Marie gasped, still trying to wriggle free. I expected her to use her hands next but she surprised me by stomping on my foot as hard as she could. The pain made me release my grip on her dress and as soon as I did, she rapped out three rapid-fire punches to my face. They landed cleanly, but Marie seemed shocked to find….
MARIE: ….that the punches didn’t hurt Jenn at all. She was too tough; I simply didn’t have the strength to hurt her with my fists, at least not while she was still fresh. I stood still for a moment, and she tried to take advantage, throwing an overhand right punch that I easily ducked under, then following it with a submarine punch to my stomach. Now,
that hurt! The power of the punch sent me tumbling backward off the table where I landed on my butt with a thump. Although the fall hurt, I realized I was lucky to have been knocked off the table, for had I remained on it, Jenn would have been in position to deliver more punishment. Instead, she stood on the table, glaring at me, disappointed that I wasn’t in front of her as she was used to seeing her opponents. Taking advantage of that lull, I jumped to my feet and completely surprised Jenn by….
JENN:….grabbing my ankles and yanking as hard as she could. Normally, I doubt Marie would have had the strength to succeed with a maneuver like this, but the element of surprise, mixed with my precarious balance on the table, caused my legs to shoot out from under me and dump me unceremoniously on my back with my head slamming against the hard wooden finish of the table. I saw stars before my eyes and….
MARIE:….I wasted no time vaulting back on the table and mounting Jenn. I thrust my hand under her dress and squeezed her womanhood with all the power in my body. Jenn didn’t scream as I expected, but I could feel her breath catch in her throat as she suffered numbing pain in her nether regions. I straddled her prone body, pounding down rapid-fire punches on Jenn’s unprotected face. In her vulnerable position, the shots were bothering her and I even drew blood from her nose as I rained down uncontested blows on her face. It was fabulous to be in control like this over such a formidable opponent. It was great! It was glorious!....
JENN:….It was horrible! Freakin’ horrible! I used all the power in my body to clamp both my hands around her scrawny waist and hurl Marie off me. If she wasn’t so skinny, I might not have been able to do it, but she flew off the table and landed with a thump on the floor. I tried to quickly rise and climb off the table to get at the fallen Marie, but I was surprised to find my equilibrium had been upset by her repeated head shots. It made me mad that this could even happen, but because of it…..
MARIE:….Jenn got off the table slower than she ordinarily would have. If she had been able to attack me right then, she might have destroyed me because my fall off the table had knocked the wind from me. As it was, Jenn had to take a moment to bend forward and place her hands on her knees to get her balance back. Thank heavens for that, because it gave me time to recover and plot my next move. And what a move it was! I performed my best vertical leap and….
JENN:….she vaulted onto the judge’s bench! Jeez, I can’t believe Marie had it in her, as the top of the bench was six feet off the ground. She stood up, measured the distance…..and hurled herself threw the air, rocketing directly at me! I was totally unprepared for such a maneuver in a catfight; I had never seen the like of it. These fuckin’ gymnasts! Her scrawny body flew through space and pounded into mine, causing me to smash back-first to the hard floor with her body adding to the impact of the fall, even as my body shielded hers from harm. I was stunned, hurt and helpless as Marie straddled me and started pounding her fists into my face and upper body. I tried to fight back but….
MARIE:….I was getting the better of it; no doubt about it. Jenn still had the strength to throw punches back at me and landed some hard shots to my face…..but I knew this was my best chance to finish her off, if I could. I saw that my punches, while damaging, weren’t having enough of an effect to suit me. I grabbed her head with both my hands and tried banging it against the ground……but it was a mistake. Her neck muscles were too strong and I couldn’t get the job done. Jenn’s eyes met mine and a half-smile, half-grimace came to her mouth. With a mighty effort, Jenn tossed me off her and my body….
JENN:….went flying halfway across the courtroom. The fall might have hurt Marie more, but she used her gymnast’s instincts to thrust her forearm behind her to cushion the fall. She regained her feet quickly while I also rose, but more slowly and painfully. Marie’s punches had taken their toll on me, and that leap from the judge’s bench had caused me pain and reduced my stamina. Although I was still strong, I was breathing hard and had to face the fact that Marie wasn’t. For the next fifteen minutes, I chased and Marie ran. It was exactly what she wanted and I didn’t want, but I saw no way to change it. I couldn’t just stand in one place like a statue and let her potshot me, so I followed her around and around, trying to catch her. I got more tired as she got more confident. Looking into my eyes as we measured each other from a distance of about ten feet, a smile came to Marie’s lips at what she was seeing. The little bitch! I could read her thoughts, too, and they were telling me that….
MARIE:….there was going to be no more punching it out with Jenn at close quarters. Seeing how tired she was, I knew that her powerful punches were Jenn’s only chance to beat me now…..and I wasn’t going to give her a chance to do it. I would stick with my original plan; dance around her and take my shots when I could get close enough to land without her being able to catch me. She was still strong and in great shape for a big gal…..but those qualities weren’t going to be of use to her now. I started dancing again; it must have looked to the people in the courtroom like a gymnastic floor exercise, in which I darted from side to side, moving in circles around the exhausted Jenn, forcing her to keep turning to face me. I laughed out loud at the discouraged look on her face as….
JENN:….Marie darted forward, daring me to hit her…..then pranced backward out of range. The fact is, I
did throw punches when she got near me. Partially, they were to keep her from getting too close and getting a free shot…….but I had something else in mind, too. Sure, I knew she was smart enough to keep her distance until she reasoned that I was easy pickings…..but I still hoped to lure her in before I was too tired to do anything about it. I stopped, lowered my hands and looked away from Marie…..
MARIE:….and when I saw that she couldn’t even meet my eyes, I knew I had the fight won. She was standing there, shuffling her feet slowly and looking as tired as any opponent I had ever seen. As I watched her closely, her eyes closed for a second, the expression on her face fell…..and she dropped to one knee, wearily. It looked as if her legs couldn’t hold her up for another second. My heart jumped with joy. Jenn Peccavi was finished! I had her! Caution was the furthest thing from my mind as I pranced joyously forward, ready to punch Jenn’s lights out. It never even entered my mind that….
JENN:….I was playing possum, hoping I could lure Marie in by pretending I was finished. Was I tired? Oh yes, no doubt about that. I was tired enough to know I had little chance of catching Marie if I continued to chase her. It was going to take brains to bring the runt to me and I remembered seeing other fights of Marie’s in which she had grown overconfident when she thought her opponent had nothing left in the tank. In the end, my ploy worked better than I ever thought possible. You should have seen Marie’s eyes widen and the dismay suddenly appear on her face when….
MARIE: …. Jenn grabbed me by the throat. When I got within one foot of her, my fists ready, Jenn’s eyes suddenly snapped open and her arm snaked out and grasped me. I thought I had the brains while Jenn had the brawn, but I realized, a second too late, that she had outsmarted me. I struggled for all I was worth, twisting, turning, kicking and punching…..but none of it had any effect on Peccavi. Her resolve was strong and her grip was unbreakable. Using her amazing strength to lift me by the throat, Jenn….
JENN:….hoisted her in the air and slammed her onto her back on the wooden table. The impact left her stunned as I climbed on the table and mounted her. Using my knees to pin her shoulders, I postured victoriously. She tried to throw me off but was too small to do it as I used my body to keep her pinned helplessly beneath me. Her legs kicked furiously, but to no avail. Seeing that I could finish her off in any manner I chose, she realized she was in serious trouble and started pleading with me to let her go. She begged, she cried….she told me I was superior to her in every way, she even promised to pay me money if I didn’t hurt her anymore! I looked at the people in the courtroom and asked how they’d like to see me end Marie’s evening. They smiled back at me….
MARIE:….and I heard them say to Jenn: “One clean shot!” Everyone was laughing and cheering for Jenn. I watched her make a fist and examine it……then show the fist to me as if asking me to admire it before it completed its job. I whimpered and pleaded with Jenn but she still straddled me, smiling and in full control. Just a few moments earlier, I had thought I was going to win this fight, I really did. How did things ever….
JENN:….go so wrong for Marie? She must be wondering that, don’t you think? I told her that she was about to be conquered by me…..once again! Her eyes widened in fear and she whimpered as I sent my Sunday-best punch rocketing toward the bridge of her nose. One clean shot, the folks in the courtroom had asked for? Well, that’s what they were got as the blow decimated the poor little shit, knocking her out like a light. I climbed off her unconscious body……looked at her, looked at the folks who watched me win and…..
MARIE:…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………......................................................
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JENN:….and when the folks offered to buy the winner (ME!) a drink, I wasn’t sure whether they were doing it out of admiration of me……or fear.
Probably a little of both.
