Chapter 15 (A Catfight Fairytale) Struggling to breathe, and fight through the pain in my side, I lock my thighs around Laurie's ribs and begin squeezing with all my might. I want nothing more than to feel her ribs pop one by one between my thighs. I want her broken ribs to puncture her lungs, or even better, her heart. I want to inflict as much damage as possible before she can find a way to damage me.
How the hell did this happen? I think to myself. It has been a long time since I left South Dakota. So much happened to lead up to that moment, and so much has happened since to lead up to this moment. I wonder why our paths crossed and led us to this meeting here on a wet mudflat in the Atchafalya River basin. So many people have influenced my life, either for good or for bad, but I am sure I know what lead us to this point.
We were both young when I first saw you.
I close my eyes, and the flashback starts,
I'm standing there,
On the balcony in summer air I will never forget the very first time I laid eyes on the love of my life. Of course, I had no ideas he would be the love of my life that night. I thought he was going to arrest me. My purple hair was caked with thick, dried blood, muck, and gutter filth. My face was smeared with the same mixture, but you can add streaked tears to the collage. My dark clothes were ripped, torn, and stretched. I think I was still in shock when he asked me out. I really couldn't believe it at first. I thought maybe it was the painkillers talking. Or maybe I had a concussion. I'll never forget the look on his face when I asked him to repeat the question. He hesitated for a moment. I almost thought he wasn't going to respond again. I'm glad he did.
The first date came exactly four days later. I was still bruised and battered. I had stitches in my forehead, just above the hairline. I looked like death warmed over, but he seemed to think I looked okay. I, myself, was completely in awe of him! I think I gasped out loud when I saw him the first time. Incredibly, Joe is exactly one foot taller than I am and weighs twice what I do! But he is hardened from more than a decade in the US Marines and many years in the New Orleans Police Department. His short brown hair gives his face an almost child-like quality. His deep, green eyes glimmer like emeralds in the sunlight. I was smitten from that moment. We made quite a couple...the 6'4 former Marine and the 5'2 goth girl. We even got strange looks in the very odd city of New Orleans.
Laurie squirms and writhes between my thighs. The mud making her slippery and all her squirming and writhing is causing her to slip from between my slippery thighs.
Damn mud!
Don't get me wrong. I like rolling in the mud just as much as the next girl, but this is a fight for my life! I have her right where I want her and she is going to squirm her way out of my hold!
Damn mud!
Laurie begins pounding on my thighs with her fists and clawing at them with her nails. The deep scratches she is leaving isn't helping much either. The muck is seeping into the wounds and starting to burn like hell! Finally I have had enough. I put release my thighs, place my foot between her shoulder blades and shove her away from me.
I roll over to my knees just as she is doing the same. We glare at each other for a moment from across the mudflat. Seems my early attack my have had more affect on hr than I originally thought. She is clutching her ribs and looking at me with absolute murder in her eyes.
We both start to get to our feet, but just as I stand up, my right foot shoot out from under me and I land on my booty in the warm, soft mud with a splat. I try to roll away when Laurie moves to take advantage but I slip again and land on my side. A sharp pain emphasizes the kick to the side as she drives in her bare heel. “Ugghh!!” I grunt and keep trying to roll away when the second kick hits me in the spine.
I see the lights, see the party, the ballgowns.
See you make your way through the crowd,
And say, "Hello",
Little did I know,
That you were Romeo,
You were throwing pebbles,
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet."
And I was crying on the staircase,
Begging you, "Please don't go". Nothing in life is ever easy...especially for me. Joe and I hit it off but it wasn't all peaches and cream (well, unless one of us brought them on a particular night
). I always had a problem dealing with relationships. I guess I still do. I probably pushed away more likeable suitors than I allowed into my little world. I almost immediately fell for Joe, so I guess that's why I tried to push him away from the start. I guess that's also why he ended up choosing Kitten over me.
I can't really explain why I was always trying to torpedo good things that would happen in my life. My mother says it's because I am like my father. Always chasing rainbows but not knowing what to do when I catch one. Turmoil is a way of life for me, I guess.
I have a way of finding trouble...if you haven't noticed. Whenever Joe and I decided todo something, I would sabotage it. Case in point, the first time I ever met Gemma Rox. It was on a nice, peaceful trip Joe and I took to Europe. A short stay in London led to a brief side trip to a club in Cardiff. A great night in an awesome bar lead to me running my mouth to a tattooed local that led to a trip to the alley behind the club that led to me taking a not so brief trip to the local emergency room. The whole time Joe was literally begging me to stop. Of course I didn't, and this incident set in motion a chain of events that led us back to Cardiff again, then back home to Louisiana, a not so peaceful trip to Houston, TX (where we met that fucking Kitten), eventually to a trip to South Dakota, and finally to a mudflat in the Atchafalya River. These weren't the abstracts in my relationship with Joe. They were the norm.
Joe tried to make me behave and settle down. I resisted every step of the way. I guess he finally had enough of my antics.
I can't really blame him.
I lie face down in the mud trying to get back on all fours but slipping each time I try to get up. My lower body numb from the vicious kicks to the side and back. I desperately try to crawl to a spot I can get up but there is no need to fret. Laurie's hands tangle in my wet, muddy, sticky hair and pull me to my feet.
“Owwww!!! Let meeeee goooooo, you fucking bitch!!!” I whine and whimper but apparently Laurie isn't in a very merciful mood. A fist slams between my shoulder blades and I start to pitch forward into the muck again. I manage to drop to my knees but then her hands are in my hair again, pulling me back to my feet.
“Ngghh! Ngghh! Let me gooo!!” I hiss and Laurie finally replies. “Sure thing, you poor baby.” She rushes past me, yanking violently on my hair and tugging me with her, head down. Laurie suddenly stops but she continues dragging me. My feet fight to gain traction on the slippery surface, but I can't stop the forward momentum. I flung headfirst to the ground where I skin and bump painfully down the slope and into the river.
“Slupp...slpup...sputter...” I gag and spit as I push myself out of the water and onto my hands and knees. I hear Laurie rushing down the slope and splashing through the ankle-deep water toward me. I try to get to my feet but it's too late. Her foot explodes against my ribs and I am pitched forward into the water again. One good thing, the water washes the muddy filth from my face and upper body, and I can see again. I hear Laurie splashing through the water again and this time I manage to twist around and hook my left arm around her ankle when she lifts it to stomp me in the back. The look on her face is priceless. I guess she though there is no more fight left in me.
She is dead fucking wrong.
I yank my arm toward me and she sits heavily in the muddy water. A satisfying grunt slips though her lips when she lands on her cute little booty.
And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting, all that's left to do is run.
You be the prince, and I'll be the princess,
It's a love story, baby, just say, 'yes'." Joe tried his best to change me. He is probably the most decent man I have ever met. Besides my father and brother, I loved him more than any man I ever met. But no matter how hard he tried, I could never change who I am. I wish I had the answers but no matter how I try to wrap my brain around it, I just can't figure out why I treated him the way I did. My heart breaks whenever I think of him with Kitten. Maybe that is why I have so much animosity in my heart right now for Laurie. She is the one target I can lash out at. She is the one target I can destroy. She is currently my Kitten.
Poor Laurie.
Images of South Dakota flash through my mind as I get to my hands and knees. Laurie is already rolling to one side to try and stand up. Both of us are a sight to behold....soaked to the bone, streaked with mud, a drop of blood clogging one nostril, our hair plastered to our faces, drops of muddy water dripping off our chins and onto our chests.
We both get to our feet. My body aching all over as we turn to face each other. I look deep into Laurie's eyes and try to understand what she is thinking, but all I can see is the same animosity...and mixture of curiosity...that I am feeling clouding them. I circle back toward the bank, and she circles as if to cut me off. As if for the first time, I take a good lock at her body in the soaked, muddy bikini. We really aren't that much different. She may be an inch shorter than me and maybe a little lighter, but all in all we match up pretty well. I guess this is what Jenn wanted when she stranded us here. A fair, even match in which we would end up killing each other. Even though my life is officially at its end, I have no intention of letting Laurie have the satisfaction of being the one to end it. As strong as my distaste is for Gemma, I can't say I really hate her (quite the contrary, but that is a different story), but my hatred for Laurie is growing stronger by the second.
I want nothing more than to hold her head under the muddy water of the Atchafalya River until she is no longer moving. Forget the fact that I set this chain of events in motion when I visited South Dakota. Never mind this is all my fault. It's time to tie us some loose ends before my young life comes to an end on a mudflat in the middle of the Louisiana wetlands.
A look of surprise flashes across Laurie's face when I rush at her and drive a right cross into her side and a short, wicked left jab to her chin. Her head snaps back as if on a hinge and she stumbles back into the mud and water on her butt. I try to end the fight right then and there, but my right foot is slowed down dramatically by the shin deep water. It also throws off my aim. Instead of hitting my intended target (the side of her face), the top of my foot slaps against her left shoulder and upper arm. The blow makes an impressive smacking sound, but that is about it. I regain my balance and lunge at her again. My shoulder drives into her chest, knocking us both sprawling into the warm water and mud. My hands grip Laurie's throat as I try to wrestle her face under the surface.
“Fucking bitch!! (gurgle…sputter…gurgle) Get off meeee!!!” Laurie screams and wraps her legs around my sides and squeezes hard. I keep her face under water, but I am losing my grip as she tries to cut me in half. Her right hand shoots out and she slams an open palm under my chin. Pushing my head back, she manages to make me release my grip on her throat. She rocks her hips and causes me to topple into the dark water. My hands grasping for her throat, but all I manage to grab is her bikini top, which loosens in my grip and stretches as I flail around in the cooling water.
So I sneak out to the garden to see you,
We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if he knew,
So close your eyes,
Escape this town for a little while.
'Cause you were Romeo,
I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet."
But you were everything to me,
Begging you, "Please don't go".Talk about your star-crossed lovers. Joe and I fit that bill to a tee. He wouldn’t give up on me, no matter how badly I acted. It seemed he was more my babysitter than my lover, but I now know he did really love me. I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am for the way I treated him. If only I could tell him how I feel, but that has never been something I was very good at…unless I was mad. Then I could tell anyone how I felt. Just ask Gemma. Even after our initial meeting in a dark, crowded nightclub in Cardiff, Wales, we became friends/enemies/part-time lovers. It’s odd how that happens. I realized then that one day my relationship with her would come crashing down around my shoulders, but I never dreamed that Joe and I would end the way we did.
But there were moments I proved how deep my love was for him.
Did I ever tell you the story about his car crash three years into our relationship? We moved in together just short of three months after meeting (big mistake on his part, huh?). I knew there was a chance I could get a call that he had been hurt…or worse. He is a cop, for goodness sakes.
Well, one night during the dead of what we call “winter” here in southern Louisiana; I got that dreaded call. It seemed like I was at the hospital in an instant. For the first time since my father died, I actually prayed. I had my rosary beads clenched around my hands. He was so small lying there in that hospital bed. I was so scared. I held his hand for 21 straight hours and promised him I would never leave his side again. I didn’t sleep until his eyes fluttered open and he smiled at me.
I knew then there was still a God, and he still answered prayers. Even those from evil people like me. Why I didn’t change my life at that moment, I will probably regret forever.
Laurie’s top finally comes completely off and I thrash at her using it like a whip. She is trying to tighten her thighs around my sides, but the water is making me slippery, and I with my constant wriggling and squirming, I am slipping out of her grasp. My hips finally clear her thighs…along with my bikini bottoms.
“Fuck you Laurie!!” I squeal through gritted teeth and try to take my bare booty back onto the muddy shore.
Laurie is small, but she is quicker than she looks. I am suddenly caught from behind…he fingers latching onto my wet, loose hair and yanking me backwards. We land with a splash, and I immediately try to twist around. My hands going for her throat again while she slaps and punches at my sides. We clench in a mutual hug and roll into deeper water.
What a sight we are making here on the shore of a mudflat in the middle of a wide spot in the Atachafalaya River, where three smaller bayous empty into the larger river.
Lightning flashes above us and it seems we are frozen for a moment in harsh black and white. Laurie finally rolls on top of me. She works her bare thigh between my legs and pins it against my naked crotch…keeping me from twisting away. Her wet head etches against the darkening clouds behind her as she draws her fist back. Her breasts bouncing and jiggling from the movement of her chest and shoulders (funny what we notice at times like these
), but just as she starts to deliver what could be a fight-ending blow, my fist shoots out and buries deep into her belly…in the area just above her crotch and just below her belly button.
Laurie’s eyes fly open wide, and her mouth forms a soundless “O.” Her punch was already on it’s way, but my thrust throws it off course and instead of my chin, it slams into my shoulder. Pain rocks all the way to my heart, but Laurie rolls off me and into the water.
And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting, all that's left to do is run.
You be the prince, and I'll be the princess,
It's a love story, baby, just say, 'yes'."
"Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid, we'll make it of this mess,
It's a love story, baby, just say, 'yes'."Things were much better for a while after the accident. I nursed him back to health…and set my future legitimate career goals on track. Did I ever mention I am a registered nurse? No. Okay, I’m a registered nurse. I finally thought about settling down and enjoying my new life. That is until I thought about settling down and enjoying my new life. Nightmares would wake me screaming in the night. Daydreams of my mother saying, “You are too much like your father, you” would interfere with whatever I was doing at that time. Eventually, I bought into that and I would distance myself from Joe and begin making a nuisance of myself again. This also coincided with the death of my brother in Iraq. That didn’t help matters much either.
As much trouble as I caused, there was one constant I could always count on though. Joe would stick by me through thick and thin, no matter what I would do. He was always by my side. He was my partner in crime, so to speak. Even though he was really the one walking behind me picking up the pieces. I thought I could do no wrong. He was there to make sure my sins were well covered up.
Then one day, he wasn’t there.
I roll to my knees in the water and I am immediately hit with a cool wind…not a steady breeze, but a cool wind…being driven by the coming storm. The water is growing more and more choppy as I reach for Laurie. “You dirty slut!!” I scream at her, “You ruined everything!” For a moment, I see fear in her eyes as she raises her hands to protect herself, but I do no plan to be deterred this time. I grab her hair and yank her toward me. Her bare flesh sliding easily on the muddy shoreline, then I slam two quick left jabs into her face. My plan was to break her nose, but she was smart enough to turn her head away just in time. My punches do, however, land flush on her cheek, causing it to start swelling and turn purple.
Well, I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever coming around.
My faith in you was fading,
When I met you on the outskirts of town.I guess Joe finally became tired of my antics. I will never forget the day he came home, packed his bags and left. I will never get over the feeling of heartbreak and despair when he said he was leaving me for Kitten. I went on a three-month binge of drugs, alcohol, and perversion that climaxed at a biker rally in South Dakota with a pair of scissors. Well, I guess that isn’t entirely true. It seems the climax may be right here on the banks of a muddy cypress island in a river in Louisiana. No matter what Joe or Kitten did to me, I am the one at fault. It’s the culmination of a lifelong train wreck that brought me here. I will never be able to forgive myself. But here, in my last few hours, I don’t plan to dwell upon all of this. I plan to make Laurie Breeze pay for reminding me how worthless my life has become. Like I said, I want to feel her last struggles as I hold her head under the water until she can no longer move.
The wind grows stronger as we struggle in the choppy water. Both of us are tiring and our blows becoming more and more desperate. We have both made it to our feet and are glaring at each other. Our bikinis are now all but afterthoughts floating on the current toward the Gulf of Mexico. When I was sixteen, if you had told me I would be on a mudflat in the middle of the Atchafalaya River, stark naked, fighting for my life with another woman, I would have laughed at you. Although when I was 28, I might have believed it.
Laurie and I circle each other cautiously. Water streams off my cheeks and drips off my chin. Our hair pasted to our heads with water and muck. As if on cue, we lunge at each other throwing wild punches. Many land but most miss. The ones that land feel like hammer blows and we are both soon cursing each other and alternately crying and gasping. Mutual hatred drives both of us in a final push to destroy the other.
Lightning ripples across the darkening sky, and I lunge at Laurie as thunder rumbles deeply above us. My hands go for her throat and my slender body bangs into hers with a dull, fleshy thud. We fall into the cooling water, both of us grabbing for the others’ throats. Our teeth snapping at each other like two wild beasts in the midst of a death struggle.
I begin to overpower the slightly smaller Laurie and push my thumbs into her throat. I literally growl as I begin trying to crush her windpipe and push her head into the dark, sucking mud. I feel her movements weakening and the fight leaving her. The light in her bright eyes starting to fade. I am going to win this fight, but of course I am going to ultimately lose the war. Jenn has forsaken me. Gemma has given up on me. Joe is still gone. But I am going to win this one. Just like I did in South Dakota.
“Remember the scissors, bitch?” I ask in a calm, steady bitch as Laurie is on the verge of sinking into the mud and water.
I never see her draw her foot up and show just how flexible she is. I never see her leg lift out of the water and her knee draw all the way up to her chest. I never recognize the threat until it’s much too late. Laurie’s foot explodes on the side of my head and fireworks flash in the sky and thunder booms loudly in the sky. One moment I am choking the essence from Laurie, and the next minute I am staring stupidly at her glassy eyes and mouth open wide. Her foot lifts again. My brain screams, “FALL OVER!” but my body refuses to cooperate. Her foot smashes in the middle of my face and I fall into the cooling water, completely unconscious.
And I said,
"Romeo, save me, I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you, but you never come.
Is this in my head,
I don't know what to think,"I guess this is the culmination of a life gone wrong. I can’t even seem to focus on my life’s work because it is so darn pathetic. Not only have I lost everything good in my life, I have managed to lose this fight for my very life.
Laurie’s belly mashes against my bare back. My knees lower legs are bent behind me with my feet mashing into my lower butt. My knees bent painfully, but that is the least of my worries. My arms are pulled upwards and I my face pushed down with my face in the water and mud. The cool water reviving me while I am being held in a painful full nelson, my face held in the water so I will slowly drown.
So this is how it all ends? I guess it’s appropriate that I will die here in the Louisiana wetlands that meant so much to me as a little girl.
“Some on is coming for you.”
The familiar male voice echoes in my head as thunder roles over me.
“Daddy?” I ask in bewilderment….dark water trickling into my throat.
“Everything will be alright, Joni. You’ll be home soon. He’s coming for you.”
“Daddy?”
“Everything will be fine, mi peeshwank amour. I love you.”
“Daddy? Don’t go.”
But he is already gone. Lost on the waves. I calm a little, now resigned to my fate. I wonder what Heaven is like? I must be going to heaven, right? Daddy said everything would be okay. “Daddy? Who’s coming?”
The angels come in a pair. But they are wearing black. I thought angels wore white? “Daddy? I’m confused.”
Lying facedown in the cool water of the Atchafalya River, the wings of the angels beating a steady throb all around me. My body limp and nearly completely submergered in the muck..
“Joni?”
The angel’s voice sounds so familiar.
“Can you hear me, Joni? Call in the medical chopper!”
Medical chopper? They have those in Heaven? That is odd. You’d think there wouldn’t be a need…..
“Joni?!?! Can you hear me?”
The angel rolls me onto my back and his lips meet mine and begin blowing in my mouth.
This is so odd! Why would an angel blow in my mouth? Not that I am complaining. I always loved kissing Joe. He does it so well.
The angel’s wings throp and throb in the ebbing daylight. I am no longer in the cool water, instead I am lying on a blanket beside the river. I open my eyes and look around confused. Laurie is sitting in the mud a few feet away with a blanket on her shoulders. Why would angels carry blankets?
Joe leans over to blow in my mouth again and he sees my eyes open.
“Joni?”
“Joe? I didn’t know you were an angel….”
“Oh shit! Joni!” His arms scoop me into a long embrace, hugging me to his powerful chest. His black police fatigues covered in mud and dirty water, the helicopter sitting on the highest point of the cypress island behind us. “I thought I was too late. Oh shit! I am so sorry!” Hugging me closer while he continues to babble almost incoherently about a phone call from Jenn telling him where I am and not to be too late. “I thought I was too late…I thought I was too late….”
“Joe?”
Another helicopter skims across the water…this one orange. I guess I am not dead after all. “I want you to come home Joni. I want you back in my life. I am so sorry for what I have done to you.”
“Joe?” I can’t bring my eyes up to meet his..shame and embarrassment overwhelming me.
“Please come home, Joni.” I try to push away, but he simply won’t let me. I turn my head and look across the water. I bite my lip and tears stream down my face, as I see my father in a screen of rain moving across the far side. He is smiling and nodding yes.
“Joe?”
“Come home, Joni. I love you.”
He knelt to the ground,
And pulled out a ring and said,
"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone.
I love you, and that's all I really know.“Please come back, Joni.”
I close my eyes and sink into his arms and finally feel at peace. When I open my eyes I stare into Laurie’s as she loaded into the medical helicopter. Both of looking at the other quizzically, knowing this isn’t the end between us.
“Joni, I love you. Please come home”
I close my eyes and pull Joe tightly to me. I pass out in his arms on the banks of a mudflat in the Atchafalaya River.
I love you, and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress,
It's a love story, baby just say….
……yes.The End
