Fortunately, my beloved Empress, I have discovered a secret weapon to utterly destroy this pretender.
Thank you my Grand Vizier...
but she has a backup flotation system....called her fat ass....she may have got it at the same place Eva did....
And any event...at least with the fat ass flotation only....with her primary flotation system disabled as you so wonderfully described...if her ass is all that keeps her afloat..she'll keep turning over with her head under water....not a good thing for her....hence...
I........as Empress of Amazonia...as aided by my wonderful and gorgeous Grand Vizier....
Declare Victory!!
And I....Empress Michelle the First...Empress of Amazonia and First Shanashah.... declare this...the 13th of May, the year of our Empress 2014....
An official "Floatation Free" holiday!!
Which basically means none of you fuckers has to go to work....and drinks are on me!!
Unless you drink until you can float..then all bets are off!!
Go Amazonia!!