[ThePurpleVixen]

LvK: And the Dragon Starrs, for my money ladies and gentlemen, are looking absolutely fantastic and ready to lock horns with the Countdown!

RP: That mouthy Chicago broad is definitely trying to keep her big bouncy buddy on the right track. Doing whatever it takes is really the only way yer gonna beat the Countdown.

LvK: I don't know, Rick.  I've always thought that beating a cheater under the rules made you a stronger- OH DEAR LORD!

RP: ... and THAT'S what happens when you expect to play by the rules against the friggin' Countdown.

It was even easier than I'd hoped.

All we had to do was get to the Gorilla position just a little ahead of the corn-fed blondes.  I got Red to distract the producer with a question about the ring mics while I snatched a format sheet off the soundboard, making sure the Starrs were set to come out first.

Then I shared a quick grinning whisper into Red's ear before we powdered off to the wings, left and right, and just waited.  It took a few moments for the production team to get things ready, during which Lisa stood there glaring at nothing and Lindsay tried to introduce herself to the gorilla producer like she was selling Girl Scout cookies.  I grinned in the shadows.  Lindsay Campbell would smile and try to shake hands with the Beast of Revelations during the last days of the Apocalypse.

Then that damn music hit, the fuzzy emo guitars sounding like they were being busted to pieces in mid-song. It was going to be a pleasure to cut this shit short.

We'd waited until they hit their trademarked Cool Pose™ just like I'd whispered to Red.  Lindsay was soaking up the cheers in a cheerleader stance, dressed to lead an aerobics class in 1985.  Lisa was crouching like a gargoyle with her Hot Topic glove pressed to the stage.

They were practically begging for it.

Red goes rushing in from stage right, snatching Lindsay's wrist while she's still basking in cheers and just YANKING the tall drink of Ohio river water into a short-arm lariat, tumbling her shapely ass over her pretty teakettle.  Lisa's up on her feet and ready to fight in an instant, to her credit, but unfortunately for her I'm already moving from stage left and on her like peanut sauce on satay.  I seize her by the shoulder and piston a fist into her kidney, and then I dance back a few steps as the pain hits her like a hot spike in the side. She staggers around to face me, following that basic human instinct to find out who's attacking you, and comes around just in time to look surprised to see me before -

*KRACK!*

- she takes a superkick to the jaw, my Doc Marten hammering her big mouth shut for once and dropping the blue-haired straight edger to the stage. Red and I don't waste any time posing over the fallen blondes as the crowd registers their disapproval in no uncertain terms.  Dark New Day shuts off, and in the sudden absence of shoddy guitars we can hear the crowd roaring their fury. I'm sure Larry van Keel is having kittens at the announce table up by the ring as I leap up, getting a little air, and drive my right heel down into Lisa's forehead, driving her skull into the stage and leaving her down while Red drags Lindsay to her feet. 

The Dragon manages to shove Red off and takes a swing at him, so I help sedate her by bounding up and hammering a couple of forearms into the side of her head, adding a knee or two driven into her belly and further aided by Red as he pounds her long lean back with double axehandles.  We drive Campbell to her knees and then drag her back up, standing at her sides.  I grin at Red and he winks behind his mask as we sling her long arms behind our necks and each of us scoops one of her legs up!  We get Linds up good and high and then both of us kick out and drop her back, and she lands with a brutal *KLANG!* on the steel stage, hammered in with a double back suplex!  Campbell flops over her own shoulders and lays facedown like deadweight on the stage as Red and I sit up.  I slink over and drag Starr up by the hair, driving a knee into the side of her head to keep her nice and quiet, and then Reddy and I manhandle the little bratwurst down the aisle to the ring, leaving the Dragon half of the Dragon Starrs behind on the stage.

LvK: THIS IS RIDICULOUS!  First Sadie Davis ambushes Tiffany in the parking lot with a damn crowbar, and now the Countdown is jumping the Dragon Starrs before they're even officially ANNOUNCED for the match, let alone in the ring!  IS NOTHING SACRED?

RP: The Second Amendment, Seinfeld's finale, and Marilyn Monroe's rack.

LvK: ... I hate you, Perle.  YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT.

RP: Of course, van Keel.  I'm not an idiot.  But Lisa Starr KNEW this was a risk.  She was telling Lindsay over and over that they had to be ready to DO WHAT IT TAKES.  This is the Countdown giving a friggin' MASTER CLASS in doing what it takes to WIN.

LvK: Well ... it's a ridiculous MOCKERY of fair competition, and I don't have to like it.

RP: 'course you don't.  It's a free country.  And I know for damn sure that little big-mouth Starr doesn't like it either.

We hit the ring and I leap up onto the apron, caressing the top rope with my taped fists and taking a moment to look over my shoulder with a flip of my punkytails and give an obnoxious wink to the cameraman.  Red scoops Lisa up in his big strong hands, cradling her between the thighs and by the throat, and his biceps shift as he gets the little girl up in a big gorilla press, holding her up before he LAUNCHES her through the ropes, between the top and middle cables, sending her crashing and rolling to the canvas.

She's barely flopped to a stop on her back when I'm already bending low, kicking my legs hard as I grip the top rope tight.  My joshi skirt flutters as I go up and over, tucking into a neat flip as I snap my left leg out and bring it guillotining down across Lisa's pretty neck with a somersault legdrop, giving her a case of the twitches. I get a nice double handful of that blue mop - Honestly, Smurf blue when you could've gone with a rich imperial color?  Fuckin' kids these days ... - and bully Starr up to her Chucks while Red has a stern conversation with the referee on the subject of ringing the damn bell.

It's apparently a very brief chat, since Red's out on the apron and the ref's waving the bell on as I shove Lisa into the corner and unload on her tight abs with a flurry of snapping sidekicks before I twist on the ball of my foot and spin around neatly, driving my heel back into her belly with a Zbysko kick.  She groans and folds up, sinking down against the buckles and I caress my glossy black lips with my pierced tongue before I grab the top rope and yank myself forward, slamming my knee against her head.  I press my chest in tight against the top turnbuckle, my arms dangling over the ropes for a long moment, grinding my knee in against Starr's pretty little forehead, and I loll my head back with a wide Cheshire cat grin.

Reddy was right. This IS fun.

LvK: Punky is just ... deranged.

RP: And in other news, water is wet, sugar is sweet, and Cleveland sucks.

LvK: The Red Enforcer might have gotten Punky's mind off of Rowan Chance ... but turning the Priestess of Chaos loose in the mood she's in is doing Lisa Starr no favors.

I slither along the top rope with both my taped fists and extend my stockinged leg, setting my waffled boot sole under Lisa's chin and grinding into her throat as I reach out to tag the Enforcer, who helpfully leans into range so I don't have to stop boot-choking Lisa.  The ref applies a four count - I don't think even he knows whether it's for the choke or the fact that I'm the illegal partner now - and I let go, slithering between the ropes and going to take the tag rope as Red begins to drag Starr up to her sneakers to keep the punishment going.  The little Cub's resilient for her size, so we can't slack the pressure off.

I wrap my fist in the tag rope, leaning on the corner and watching Red as he gets ready to go to work.

And then I feel the eyes, watching me.

Cold eyes.  Mad eyes.

I whip around, looking into the crowd.

There's nothing there.  Just the audience, a sea of faces twisted with fury and desire and bloodlust and animal instincts.  A seething ocean of bread and circuses, and the half-conscious sprawl of Lindsay Campbell's neon yellow ass up on the stage.

But she's out there.

I can fucking FEEL her out there.

Rowan fucking Chance.

[The Second City Wrestlerette]

WHAT THE HELL?!

This was supposed to be a tag match, and it's turned into a 2 on 1 mugging before we even hit the ring! Punky's vicious attack left me stunned. That Superkick left a bit of a waffle-patterned imprint on my face. The kicks, knees and stomps to my head, the work-over I just received in the corner...I knew she's vicious and relentless! I mean, I saw her matches! But you never know what it feels like until you feel it. And right now? I'm feeling it! And it doesn't feel good.

With me slumped down in the evil corner, I hear the smacking hands as they tag. „Ugh...great...“ I mumble under my breath as the big Red Enforcer climbs into the ring. He sets his oversized self up in front of me and I peek past him, leaning my head to the side to look past his legs to my corner....empty?? Where's Linds? I remember...Red attacked her on stage and then...then I got pummeled! What happened? Where is she?

Anyways, there's not really a lot of time to think about my partner and her whereabouts right now as I'm being considerately helped back up to my feet by a pair of big hands in my hair! „AHH...get the *BEEP* off me you *BEEP BEEP BEEP*!” Cursing at Red and he turns towards Punky who's pacing back and forth on the apron in the search for her Phantom. “She's got fire! It'll be fun to extinguish that!” She doesn't really react, though. Her eyes sill scanning the audience. Every single seat it seems and after a few seconds growls back at him “Do it, then!”

I don't like where this conversation is going. I mean, they could at least ask me, right?! They're talking about Lisa Starr, so why not ask for her opinion? On the other side, why should the Countdown even care for my opinion? They don't even care for their own! Red keeps me pinned back into the corner, arching me back over the top turnbuckle painfully by pulling my hair back. Forced to get up on my tip toes, my upper body's all stretched out and exposed when “OHHHHH F*BEEP*!” I gasp, cough and a hint of my spittle comes flying towards the third row of paying costumers after my lower abs just got hammered by a pretty harsh blow.

Finally the ref steps in, shoving Red off me, yelling at him to “Get her out of the corner!” and stuff like that. Meanwhile I slump again. Keeping myself on my feet by wrapping my right arm around the top rope. Left hand on my tummy, I'm standing bent over and hear Red's voice “Out of the corner? Sure, I can do that!” Moments after that I feel his body press against mine. Trapped between Countdown's Powerhouse and the Turnbuckles. He gets a grip of my arm and steps back. Looks like he's gonna send me running across the ring into MY partner-less corner.

He drags me off the corner buckles and steps back, he twists and...”Huh?” I gasp. He doesn't let go of my arm? Instead, he tells the ref “And she's out of the corner. Happy now?!” I know I'm not!! But again, nobody asks me. Instead I feel a harsh pull on my arm, straining my shoulder for a moment as I'm roughly jerked back towards the corner I was just pulled from. My sneakerboots pound over the canvas a few steps, I turn JUST in time to hit them back first. The rings tremble and dance all around the ring as I gasp out in breathlessness and pain, with my arms wrapped around the top rope.

LvK: This isn't good. This isn't good at all! It's dangerous enough when you're up against ONE Countdowner! Now Lisa's alone against two and she seems to be a little over matched after this brutal assault by these two cowards! If Campbell doesn't get into this soon -

RP: - and she won't -

LvK: Starr's gonna be destroyed -

RP: - and she will be!

LvK: You're not helping, Perle! And you can't tell me you actually like what you're seeing here?

RP: Actually I do! I got a great view! The splayed out, semi-conscious Dragon, the moaning, gasping and contorted Starr, and that animalistic, brute, powerful Punky on the prowl up there on the apron? You'd have to be blind, gay or dead to not enjoy this!

LvK: Look, Perle! The Enforcer!

RP: Why would I wanna look at him? I'm not gay, I thought I made that clear! Means you can have him all to yourself!

LvK: I...they're wrestling in there! He's setting up a move, Perle!! For God's sake would you PLEASE just do your job?!

Red's taken some time after tossing me back into the corner to have a little discussion with the ref about what he meant with the phrase “Out of the corner!”. After that short dispute, Red took some more time to show off for the booing crowd. I think I can consider myself lucky I don't seem like a big threat to these two right now. If I were, Punky would have probably poisoned me while the ref was distracted. She's back in her corner outside the ring, but still scanning the crowd, looking for what used to be Rowan Chance.

Finally Red's taken his spot in the opposite corner. He takes a moment, a deep breath and then his boots come pounding across the boards. It sounds AND feels like a stampede in here! The entire ring trembles with each heavy stomp as he runs across the ring towards me. He leaps, flies in and...BANG!

“YAAAAAAAY!” the crowd explodes into cheers as I duck my head down and push myself out of the way. Had that guy just landed his splash on me, I'd be even flatter than I already am, and probably done for the rest of the night as well. But luckily I didn't get crushed! Red slammed into the corner buckles full force and staggers back towards mid-ring.

I quickly move in from behind and grab for his left wrist. Bringing it up with both hands and I twist and spin underneath his arm. Twisting that injured left shoulder (Check out the Road to Second Coming on FTW TV to see why it's injured. http://www.freecatfights.com/forums/index.php/topic,42094.msg326013.html#msg326013 We're only 9,98 $ !!!) as I turn to end up facing him. “Hey there, Bitch!” I smirk into his face before leaping up. Now wrapping both of my arms around his left one and I throw myself back. We go down, me back first, and Red? He's letting out a short yelp of pain as I slam him, shoulder first, into the canvas.

As he rolls away, clutching his shoulder, I quickly kip up to my feet. The crowd cheers, Red's down and his partner? Lemme see how she's doing! I put a cocky smirk on my face as I turn to face her standing on the apron, but...”Wait, wha?!” I gasp as just now I realize who's standing there! This isn't Gemma. I thought it was supposed to be Gemma?! Through all the punishment I took I never got a chance to see WHO was working me. All I saw through my blurry vision was pale, tattooed skin.

And now there she is! “The Purple Vixen” Megan Dow, and...she's turned around?! Staring out into the crowd...probably looking for her little lover, huh? It's understandable that she's cautious after what happened in that #1 Contender's Match, but...I can't accept that. The Future of Wrestling is in the ring and the Purple Vixen is looking away?! Nope! Totally unacceptable! So I step to the ropes and slam my right forearm across her back. The crowd goes "OHHHH!"

I see her back arch for a moment before she turns around to look at me. We just stare at each other for a few seconds. If looks could kill, we'd both be dead. I finally break the silence “What the hell are YOU doin here, huh? Think you're smart for pulling that lil switcheroo? Think you're tough attacking from the shadows? Well, WHY DON'T YA GET YOUR *BEEP*IN ASS IN HERE AND FIGHT ME FACE TO FACE, HUH?!” I yell at her, which makes the corners of her glossy black lips curl up to an evil looking grin. She lifts her left leg a bit, about to climb into the ring. Making the crowd rise, cheer, chant...until the ref steps between us

“No, you stay outside, Dow! And Starr, legal opponent's the Red Enforcer! Wrestle!” I raise my eyebrow at him, then at her as she sets her heavy boot down on the apron again with a short laugh. She knew it!! Narrowing my eyes as she sends a silent “Soon” my way. “Grrrrrr FINE THEN!” I hiss at the ref and then turn my attention back to Red, who made his way up to his knees during this little confrontation in the Countdown's corner. With him down like that, I grab for that left arm and twist it again, standing at his side and facing the same way he does...towards his Purple partner.

LvK: And just like that Lisa's turned this around! She's got the Enforcer down!

RP: And working that arm is a great idea! I never thought I'd say that, but, in this Tag Match, the Red Enforcer seems to be the weak link!

LvK: And I never thought I'd say this, but...you might be right, Perle! And, OHHH!! Especially if Starr keeps going like this!

Mr. van Keel's little groan has been brought to you by Lisa Starr's boot. With Red's arm twisted and me at his left side, I brought my right foot up and STOMPED down hard on that twisted shoulder! The impact and the pain makes him bend over on his knees, but I decide I'm not done with it and straighten him up again. My boot goes up once more and BAM!! Sending another stomp on that shoulder. Now I grab for the top of his red mask with my right hand, left still on his wrist. Pulling on his head and arm to straighten him up on his knees. “Take a good look, Punky! And listen close.” I hiss at her and place my padded knee against the back of his shoulder. Then I hop up with my left boot and let gravity carry us down.

And with a thud we DO come down! All my weight on Red's shoulder to send that part of his body first into the canvas again. I do a forward roll after the impact, rolling through the impact before springing back up to my feet. And guess where I end up? You're right! Just inches from Punky! The ropes are the only things separating us as we stand face to face once more. The ref tries to keep things under control, telling Punky to stay out there, and telling me to leave the 'illegal' participant alone.

Waving him off along with a little “Sure, sure.” and take a step back. Turning away from Punky to face the downed Enforcer again. Keeping my arm extended towards the Purple Vixen though, flipping her off as I turn.

RP: I got a feeling Starr doesn't like Punky.

LvK: You don't say?! What makes you think so?

RP: She looks at Megan the exact same way my ex-wife looks at me!

LvK: Which one?

RP: The second!

I'm headed towards Red, who's still cursing in pain and holding his shoulder while on the canvas. I'm not stopping when I reach him, though. Instead I send a quick stomp down to his upper back to keep him down and head to the ropes. Looking out at Lindsay who's not really moving out on the ramp. “LINDS!! LINDSAY!” yelling up the ramp, looking back over my left shoulder to see Red starting to roll towards his corner. I turn to my partner again. “LINDSAY *BEEP*ING CAMPBELL! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!!”

I turn to see Red getting pretty close to his corner. And, as much as I wanna get my hands on this Purple haired witch, I can't let this tag happen! I'm alone and can't have these two tagging in and out on me. I run back along the ropes towards their corner. My right arm extended at my side. I reach Red and take another few steps. The plan being to intercept him and drill him face first into the canvas with a Facebuster! But the plan isn't perfect...

“UFFFFF!” I gasp along with the crowd in unison. My eyes bulge and I fold over. Just like that...my momentum is stopped. I was too close to the ropes, Punky came speeding around the ring post and towards me on the apron. All it took was a leg held out between the ropes and I ran straight into her waiting knee! I fold over, release the back of Red's head. And not even a second later...

“YAAAHHHA!” I cry out as Megan gets a rough grip on my chin, turns my back towards the ropes and she hops back off the apron. Straining my neck across the top rope with a classic reverse-guillotine at the ropes. Feeling like my head was almost pulled off my shoulders here!! I bounce back off the ropes, stagger a few steps forward and...

*BOOM* Red's right there, waiting for me!! And after taking a short run-up, his right leg comes up and the sole of his boot comes slamming across my face! The Big Boot floors me, I'm taken down hard and my legs Jackknife up over my body. The boards bounce a little underneath me. Laying folded up for a second or two before my body unfolds and I lay spread out in the middle of the ring. The crowd has lost a bit of their volume, but most are now back to booing the hell out of Punky and Red.

My eyes open wide, now having 2 different footprints in my face...and the match isn't even 5 minutes old!! I hear the boos from the crowd, the evil laugh from Punky outside the ring, and I see a shadow appear above me as Red stands there, grinning down at me from behind his mask. “Ugh...*beep*!” My head lolls to the side, looking up the ramp to see the still motionless Dragon.

LvK: Countdown's looking mighty proud in there after taking Starr down.

RP: And they have the right to be proud! They got this top FTW competitor down and hurting. Give me one reason, van Keel! Why shouldn't they be proud?

LvK: I can give you more than one! This was a cheap shot by Punky, they started the match by beating the Dragon Starrs up on the ramp, and now this is a 2 on 1!

RP: Wrong! This isn't a 2 on 1! It's a Tag Team Match! It's not their fault the nutty Dragon's taking a nap on the ramp.

LvK: It's not their fault?! Wh...wha, WHAT?! Are you f...*a sigh and a few deeeeep breaths are heard* Calm down, Larry. Calm down!

[Lindsay C]

It takes me a while to get back to my senses after the brutal sneak attack I've suffered on the cold, unforgiving steel ramp. My head is pulsing after the shots I took by the Purple Vixen and the Red Enforcer. At least, that's who I think they were. I just caught short glimpses of both attackers, and with my stunned and dizzy mindset I have no idea who it really was. Why should Megan even be out here? Aren't we supposed to take on Gemma and Red?

„Owwwwwwww“

LvK: This isn't good for the Dragon Starrs!

„Ahhhhhh“

RP: You're damn right it's not. But it's good for business! You don't want to have Punky around you when she's got anger issues. And this is a great way for her to relieve all that stress.

My eyelids start fluttering, right arm comes across the back of my throbbing head.

LvK: Come on Perle, are you serious? They could have seriously injured Campbell with that move on the steel ramp! And, and...ohhhh come on!! A blatant choke to a helpless Starr! This isn't right!

I keep laying there as the Countdown puts a beating on my outnumbered partner. I KNOW I gotta get up! I KNOW I gotta get down to that ring! Because if I don't...gawd, I don't even wanna know what's gonna happen to Lisa!

After a while of laying motionless on the cold steel, I hear the crowd coming to life, along with some thuds coming from the ring. I don't see it, but Lisa's starting to put a beatdown on Red! Doing exactly what she told me to do before the match started. Go after that injured arm! I didn't like that plan all that much. Taking advantage of existing injuries isn't really my thing. But Lisa was very persistent. Why, you ask? Simple: Because Lisa Starr knows no mercy!

After a while, I hear her 'lovely' rock-chick yelling voice “LINDS!! LINDSAY!” which sounds to me like it's much further away than it actually is.

“Huh?”

“LINDSAY *BEEP*ING CAMPBELL! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!!”

“Wha?”

I slowly raise my head, my eyes only halfway open. Through my blurry vision I see Lisa run across the ring. Just looking up after she's turned, and just in time for me to see Lisa run right into that Trifecta from hell. Her athletic and sexy lil body beaten back and forth at the ropes by Meg's knee and that neck-breaking Rope-Guillotine before she staggers right into that crushing Big Boot by Red that leaves her down flat on her back and with her tightly covered ass up in the air for a few seconds.

The crowd groans as Lisa ends up splayed out in the middle of the ring at the feet of a posing Red, and right behind Punky who casually leans back against the ring apron, grinning out into the crowd so they can take a few nice snapshots of her with the downed Starr right above her shoulder.

“Nooooo!”

I groan and now start to push myself up to my hands and knees. My hair falls over my shoulders and cascades to a curtain around my face so I can't see Red distracting the referee by convincing him that the laces of the boot he just kicked Lisa's head off with aren't really tight. He backs off to the middle of the ring and DEMANDS that the ref re-laces them. And while he does, Punky, still standing outside the ring, drapes Lisa's throat across the bottom rope and pulls. Choking my stunned partner with the rough cable while snarling right into her face.

I rise to my feet, swaying side to side a bit with my arms limply dangling down my sides. The crowd doesn't even notice it as they're glued to the action in (and around) the ring. Megan sees the Ref finished re-lacing Red's boot and finishes her work with a stiff, straight right hand to Lisa's jaw to send her tumbling off the ropes to a heap in Countdown's corner before the Purple Vixen climbs back up and takes hold of her tag rope.

I'm breathing hard, hair still hanging over my face as I stand there on jelly legs and with my hair hanging all over my face. I must look like a pretty and blonde version of that “The Ring”-girl! Eventually, some of the guys in the crowd up the ramp see me up and a murmur starts going through the crowd.

I start taking small steps towards the ring, more staggering and stumbling than walking, but it'll do! And the crowd starts getting on their feet. Hearing things like “Come on, Dragon!” and “Go, Lindsay! Go get 'em!” Normally I'd make a few stops on my way to the ring, but right now that won't do. Through  my hair I see Lisa dragged up to her feet, quickly picked up and SLAMMED down with a harsh Bodyslam by the big guy in red.

I keep making my way down the ramp. Now maybe looking even more like that girl from the horror movie – or maybe like a Zombie – as I stagger down towards the ring. Slowly, but steadily making my way to come to the aid of my best friend and partner. Looking to turn this Handicap Match back into a 2 on 2, old fashioned Tag!

“Hold on, Lisa...I'm coming...”

[RedEnforcer]

I subconsciously grab my shoulder with my right hand trying to squeeze some blood flow into it.  Right now it feels like a dull ache with some pins and needles stabbing under my skin.  I see Lisa down on the mat and I know we need to keep this punishment up.  Punky's in the right frame of mind so far so let's start with some easy moves till I get my shoulder back.

LvK: And the Enforcer goes over to Lisa and hauls her petite frame up.

RP: I kinda like how Lisa does that sexy boneless dance.

LvK: She's nearly out of it due to the dastardly double teaming of Countdown!

RP: Yeah and that pumphandle slam...ouch...doesn't look like it'll help her any.

LvK: Quick cover by the Enforcer, but a kick out at two.

RP: Smart move by the Enforcer, make Starr use more energy to kick out early.

LvK: He has her hair and is hauling her up.

RP: Smart move by the Enforcer, make Starr regret having pullable hair.

LvK: What does that even......?


I toss the little pixie into the opposite ropes and cock back my good arm for a nice, solid lariat and.....Miss? What the?


LvK:  Starr ducks and hits the other side, coming off with a dropkick right on the button!  Austin Aries would be impressed with that one!

RP: Austin Aries would be checking out her legs and her *BEEP*.

LvK: .....yeah, you're right.  But as Lisa looks around she still doesn't have anyone to tag!



Well damn, beaten down as she is, she's still pretty quick.  And that dropkick got me right in the jaw. Hurts as bad as a Jim Brunzell kick.  I need to nip that in the bud.  She's still looking around for her partner so I go up behind her, wrap my arms around her waist, give her a little squeeze and haul her up off the mat and over my back in a release German suplex. Owwww. Shoulder is still gamey.  I lumber over to Lisa and grab a handful of her hair.  Yeah, the blood is flowing now. I love this part of the match, right after the initial adrenaline rush wears off and you settle into the real combat.  Let's just drag her back to our corner and I'll reach back for a tag and....nothing.

I turn my head to look at my partner and she's not paying me a bit of mind. Dammit! Get your head in the game! I can't believe she's pacing the apron and looking for Chance and not in this match!

I turn back around and get kicked in the face.  I think she just lifted her leg up or something and didn't really have a lot behind it. But, she gets to feel how pissed I am, even if I'm more pissed at Punky than at her.  I haul her up to her feet and spin her around to me, lifting her up in the air as my arms clamp down for a solid bearhug.  This hold doesn't tax my shoulder like others, but I still should be able to work her over for a while like this and slow down that feisty nature of hers. Yeah, I'm grinning under my mask as I pull Lisa into me, arms flexing into her sides and wrists digging into her back, grinding away at the bearhug as I feel her tiny frame yielding to the pressure I'm firmly applying.  Hmmm, just a little longer in this hold and I may...

[ThePurpleVixen]

It takes an effort to wrench my attention off scanning the crowd for Rowan, but being love-tapped by that little Smurf Lisa Starr managed to do the job.  She has my FULL attention after that, which I'm sure she regrets after I crunch her with a knee through the ropes and then snap her neck off the cables to send her right pretty little face into Red's size 12 Stagecoach boot. Red scrapes Starr off the mat and I smirk a little as he pumphandle slams her into the canvas, giving a desultory middle finger to the ref when Starr kicks out at 2.

I mean, Red has this under control.

I really should keep my mind on the match.

But there's no sign of Lindsay still and Red's got Starr in hand and ...

... I fuckin' KNOW someone is WATCHING me.  I feel like god-damn Rockwell!

I whip around to the crowd again.  Some wiseass in the front row tries to get cute so I jaw with him a little bit about his IQ, theoretical genital size, and income bracket that eventually has him subside into bitter silence.  The crowd continues to pester me with boos that only raise in volume as I tastefully flip them off with a double bird. I stalk back and forth along the apron like a lioness in the zoo at feeding time, with just as many gaping idiots gawking at me.  My eyes flicker over the crowd, looking for that LOOK Row- Aika has.  Because she won't be out here without her mask.  No.

There's more noise in the ring, but no sound of counted pinfalls.  I growl in my throat.

"The *BEEP* is TAKIN' so long, Red?"

I finally whip back around, my purple punkytails whirling with me, and my eyes narrow as I see The Red Enforcer fucking SNUGGLING Lisa in a bearhug.  Like we have all the time in the god-damn world to go through his repertoire of the Greatest Holds of the 1980s.  Lisa's starting to sag on his shoulder but she's clearly not going to go lights out right away. She might be an annoying smug little bitch who bites my style like Vanilla Ice bit Queen, but she's tough as a cheap Chicago steak. I roll my eyes and get my boot on the bottom rope, pushing up and leaning way over to SMACK the Enforcer's beefy shoulder with a blind tag since he has his back to me.

The referee indicates the tag and I bound over the top rope, vaulting and hammering my Docs to the mat with a thud.  Red slowly gives me one of his Angry Southern Stares™ and starts to lay into me.  "Punky, what the hell do you think y-" I cut him off, irritably tapping my taped wrist with two fingertips, showing off my Steve Austin-brand invisible watch.  "We're here to kick the *BEEP* out of her, Reddy, not squeeze the last bit of *BEEP*ing toothpaste out of her," I growl as I take Lisa's dangling wrist and pull her out of Red's arms as he reluctantly unlatches his bearhug.  Lisa almost sags into me like a drinking buddy, still a bit breathless and dizzy from the abuse, and I grin like a Cheshire cat.

LvK: Is the Countdown honestly disagreeing about not beating up a helpless Lisa Starr quickly enough?

RP: Time is money, van Keel.

LvK: Disgusting. And now Punky with a HARSH Irish whip, sending Lisa Starr VICIOUSLY against those buckles!  Good lord, that girl puts so much brutality into everything she does.

RP: Makes you wonder what she's like in the sack.

LvK: ... it'd be like bedding a wolverine, Rick.

RP: I could get down with that.

LvK: I'm going to see if the commissioner will reconsider that petition to have you chemically castrated.

RP: No mere drugs can restrain MY - oh, *BEEP*, INCOMING!

I pelt across the ring and THROW my weight behind a high, brutal kick with my leg locked straight as a lance.

*KRACK!*

Lisa's jaw snaps to the side, blue hair whipping forward to hang over her face, and I let my leg hang over the top rope, casually leaning my elbow on the rope as I let Starr topple to the canvas beside me after my Monster Queen yakuza kick sends her bicuspids into the cheap seats.  I smirk at the roaring, raging fans, some of whom are clutching their heads adorably in despair as Lisa topples deadweight to the canvas. I offer them a little bit of song to cheer them up as I draw my foot back down to the canvas, waving one an invisible conductor's baton in one hand.

"♫Turn out the liiiiights - the party's OVER ...♫" I sing sweetly as I drop down and lovingly vine my legs around Lisa's near leg, hooking her far leg up high and resting my forearm across her pert lil' breasts as the ref drops and counts the ONE ...

The TWO ...

And the little bratwurst fish-tails hard enough to break my grip!

LvK: SHE'S STILL IN IT!

RP: C'mon, Punky, GET YOUR FOREARM IN HER FRIGGIN' THROAT!  DIDN'T YOU LEARN FROM REGAL!?

LvK: Your journalistic ethics of non-biased observation are a shining bastion for the world, Rick.

RP: Gimme a *BEEP*ing break, Pollyanna.  The only way you could be more in Starr's corner is if you were over there in a spangled dress.

I glower at Lisa as I bend down to haul her up by that blue mop - her scalp must be hurting like a fourth-grader with lice by now - and snarl in her face. "Yer gonna WISH you'd just smartened the *BEEP* up and STAYED THE *BEEP* DOWN." She tries to put together some sort of wise-ass response through the haze of dizzy pain she's in, and I shake my head and twist her around, snaking my right arm under hers to hoist her gloved hand into the air like she's gaily waving to a friend, starting to cinch in a half-Nelson for my Jack and Coke suplex, but the little sport pepper starts driving elbows back into my belly, puffing air past my glossy black lips until I'm eventually forced to unlace my arms and stagger back with a huff.

Starr whips around with a little war cry and slams a forearm across my jaw, and the crowd roars in delight as I'm sent back with another one, the little straight edger jumping off the mat to drive the blows in.  I stumble back and manage to put the brakes on before I hit the ropes, windmilling my arms a bit and shaking my head to clear the flashes out of my eyes.  Unfortunately for the lil' rock Starr, I get hit in the face a lot and I can clear the cobwebs out like a fucking Swiffer.  She's already on the move, moving quicker than I'd have wanted after the beating we've laid on her.  She vaults to the apron, showing a bit of pain on the landing, and grits her teeth, leaping up to the top rope and balancing beautifully, ready to springboard.

The fans are on their feet, ready for the Stage Dive or another high-flyin' acrobatic move.

I put those fat fucks back in their seats when I lunge forward and LEAP, lithely rising off the mat and SLAMMING my right arm up, the fingers curled against my palm and driving the heel of it under her jaw with a tiger uppercut, a palm thrust to the chin that LAUNCHES Lisa off the top and sends her hurtling back to the floor with a brutal *THWACK!* that echoes through the arena right before there's the thud of her little rocker body hitting the mats down below.

I lean on the top rope, my arms dangling down as I grin down at her crumpled form, eyes shining with mad delight.

LvK: Oh, THAT'S ENOUGH!  COME ON! FOR THE LOVE OF SAINT SEBASTIAN, STOP THIS!

RP: Aw, what's the matter, van Keel?  Don't you know that the downfall is an important part of the hero's journey?

LvK: JOSEPH CAMPBELL DIDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE COUNTDOWN!

[Ashley Not Golden]

It takes an effort to wrench my attention off scanning the crowd for Rowan, but being love-tapped by that little Smurf Lisa Starr managed to do the job.  She has my FULL attention after that, which I'm sure she regrets after I crunch her with a knee through the ropes and then snap her neck off the cables to send her right pretty little face into Red's size 12 Stagecoach boot. Red scrapes Starr off the mat and I smirk a little as he pumphandle slams her into the canvas, giving a desultory middle finger to the ref when Starr kicks out at 2.

I mean, Red has this under control.

I really should keep my mind on the match.

But there's no sign of Lindsay still and Red's got Starr in hand and ...

... I fuckin' KNOW someone is WATCHING me.  I feel like god-damn Rockwell!

I whip around to the crowd again.  Some wiseass in the front row tries to get cute so I jaw with him a little bit about his IQ, theoretical genital size, and income bracket that eventually has him subside into bitter silence.  The crowd continues to pester me with boos that only raise in volume as I tastefully flip them off with a double bird. I stalk back and forth along the apron like a lioness in the zoo at feeding time, with just as many gaping idiots gawking at me.  My eyes flicker over the crowd, looking for that LOOK Row- Aika has.  Because she won't be out here without her mask.  No.

There's more noise in the ring, but no sound of counted pinfalls.  I growl in my throat.

"The *BEEP* is TAKIN' so long, Red?"

I finally whip back around, my purple punkytails whirling with me, and my eyes narrow as I see The Red Enforcer fucking SNUGGLING Lisa in a bearhug.  Like we have all the time in the god-damn world to go through his repertoire of the Greatest Holds of the 1980s.  Lisa's starting to sag on his shoulder but she's clearly not going to go lights out right away. She might be an annoying smug little bitch who bites my style like Vanilla Ice bit Queen, but she's tough as a cheap Chicago steak. I roll my eyes and get my boot on the bottom rope, pushing up and leaning way over to SMACK the Enforcer's beefy shoulder with a blind tag since he has his back to me.

The referee indicates the tag and I bound over the top rope, vaulting and hammering my Docs to the mat with a thud.  Red slowly gives me one of his Angry Southern Stares™ and starts to lay into me.  "Punky, what the hell do you think y-" I cut him off, irritably tapping my taped wrist with two fingertips, showing off my Steve Austin-brand invisible watch.  "We're here to kick the *BEEP* out of her, Reddy, not squeeze the last bit of *BEEP*ing toothpaste out of her," I growl as I take Lisa's dangling wrist and pull her out of Red's arms as he reluctantly unlatches his bearhug.  Lisa almost sags into me like a drinking buddy, still a bit breathless and dizzy from the abuse, and I grin like a Cheshire cat.

LvK: Is the Countdown honestly disagreeing about not beating up a helpless Lisa Starr quickly enough?

RP: Time is money, van Keel.

LvK: Disgusting. And now Punky with a HARSH Irish whip, sending Lisa Starr VICIOUSLY against those buckles!  Good lord, that girl puts so much brutality into everything she does.

RP: Makes you wonder what she's like in the sack.

LvK: ... it'd be like bedding a wolverine, Rick.

RP: I could get down with that.

LvK: I'm going to see if the commissioner will reconsider that petition to have you chemically castrated.

RP: No mere drugs can restrain MY - oh, *BEEP*, INCOMING!

I pelt across the ring and THROW my weight behind a high, brutal kick with my leg locked straight as a lance.

*KRACK!*

Lisa's jaw snaps to the side, blue hair whipping forward to hang over her face, and I let my leg hang over the top rope, casually leaning my elbow on the rope as I let Starr topple to the canvas beside me after my Monster Queen yakuza kick sends her bicuspids into the cheap seats.  I smirk at the roaring, raging fans, some of whom are clutching their heads adorably in despair as Lisa topples deadweight to the canvas. I offer them a little bit of song to cheer them up as I draw my foot back down to the canvas, waving one an invisible conductor's baton in one hand.

"♫Turn out the liiiiights - the party's OVER ...♫" I sing sweetly as I drop down and lovingly vine my legs around Lisa's near leg, hooking her far leg up high and resting my forearm across her pert lil' breasts as the ref drops and counts the ONE ...

The TWO ...

And the little bratwurst fish-tails hard enough to break my grip!

LvK: SHE'S STILL IN IT!

RP: C'mon, Punky, GET YOUR FOREARM IN HER FRIGGIN' THROAT!  DIDN'T YOU LEARN FROM REGAL!?

LvK: Your journalistic ethics of non-biased observation are a shining bastion for the world, Rick.

RP: Gimme a *BEEP*ing break, Pollyanna.  The only way you could be more in Starr's corner is if you were over there in a spangled dress.

I glower at Lisa as I bend down to haul her up by that blue mop - her scalp must be hurting like a fourth-grader with lice by now - and snarl in her face. "Yer gonna WISH you'd just smartened the *BEEP* up and STAYED THE *BEEP* DOWN." She tries to put together some sort of wise-ass response through the haze of dizzy pain she's in, and I shake my head and twist her around, snaking my right arm under hers to hoist her gloved hand into the air like she's gaily waving to a friend, starting to cinch in a half-Nelson for my Jack and Coke suplex, but the little sport pepper starts driving elbows back into my belly, puffing air past my glossy black lips until I'm eventually forced to unlace my arms and stagger back with a huff.

Starr whips around with a little war cry and slams a forearm across my jaw, and the crowd roars in delight as I'm sent back with another one, the little straight edger jumping off the mat to drive the blows in.  I stumble back and manage to put the brakes on before I hit the ropes, windmilling my arms a bit and shaking my head to clear the flashes out of my eyes.  Unfortunately for the lil' rock Starr, I get hit in the face a lot and I can clear the cobwebs out like a fucking Swiffer.  She's already on the move, moving quicker than I'd have wanted after the beating we've laid on her.  She vaults to the apron, showing a bit of pain on the landing, and grits her teeth, leaping up to the top rope and balancing beautifully, ready to springboard.

The fans are on their feet, ready for the Stage Dive or another high-flyin' acrobatic move.

I put those fat fucks back in their seats when I lunge forward and LEAP, lithely rising off the mat and SLAMMING my right arm up, the fingers curled against my palm and driving the heel of it under her jaw with a tiger uppercut, a palm thrust to the chin that LAUNCHES Lisa off the top and sends her hurtling back to the floor with a brutal *THWACK!* that echoes through the arena right before there's the thud of her little rocker body hitting the mats down below.

I lean on the top rope, my arms dangling down as I grin down at her crumpled form, eyes shining with mad delight.

LvK: Oh, THAT'S ENOUGH!  COME ON! FOR THE LOVE OF SAINT SEBASTIAN, STOP THIS!

RP: Aw, what's the matter, van Keel?  Don't you know that the downfall is an important part of the hero's journey?

LvK: JOSEPH CAMPBELL DIDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE COUNTDOWN!

Breaking the Vixen's string.  That's all

[The Second City Wrestlerette]

“YYYYYAAH!” grunting out as I drive my forearm against Punky's jaw.

“YYYYAAAH!” as I drive the second one into her face to make the purple Punkytails wave.

The crowd roars in approval as she staggers back. Her arms windmilling. I take a moment to look at Red on the apron, he looks a little angry, but not at me. Good! So he won't get in my way. Still, for security reasons, I had the other way. Leaping over the top rope and out onto the apron. Landing with a soft bounce on my toes. The top rope stays in my hands as Punky staggers off the ropes.

I'm not feeling very well. Lindsay needs to come back...SOON! Either that or I finish things quick. Let's try option #2 here. With a grit of my teeth and a little groan I leap up, feet on the top rope, looking to launch myself right at the Purple Vixen! But instead...

BAM!

“UGH!”

My head snaps back violently after that vicious uppercut landed right on the bottom of my jaw. I lose balance almost immediately. My body topples backwards and with a little arch I come flying off the top rope and out of the ring. Eyes closed, arms, legs and hair flailing up, reaching for anything I can to try and hold myself up, but to no avail.

THUD!

“AAACK!”

My body bounces off the thin mats outside the ring. My body arches, coughing hard for the first few seconds before I roll to the side a bit and end up laying in a heap outside the ring. Curled up to a little ball as I lay on the cold mats.

This. Isn't. Good.

I lay there for a while. Not moving much. Actually not moving at all except for my heaving chest. It's a long way down from on top of that top rope to the outside of the ring, and I took the fall without anything to stop me or break my fall.

The ref's count has meanwhile reached 4. And he's not really counting very fast. Being interrupted again and again by Punky who keeps trying to slip out of the ring to go after me. Eventually though, the Purple Vixen finds a way out of the ring...by simply rolling out behind the ref's back while he's counting. Damn, that girl is clever!

Not long after her slipping out of the ring, she's standing over my curled up body and cruelly steps on my side. First with one, then with both of her heavy, waffle-soled boots. Her entire body weight resting on my ribs, one of her hands on the bottom rope for balance. She just grins up at the ref who stopped the count again and now instead starts yelling at her to step off of me.

I'm sent back into a coughing, groaning stupor after she gets off me. She did so by – not simply stepping off, of course – but by jumping off my body onto the apron. From there she climbed into the ring. Forcing the ref to break the count. Punky ignores him yelling at her and turns straight to Red. “Get down there and help me take her the *BEEP* out, would ya?!”

LvK: Someone's gotta stop this! This is hideous! Countdown are just looking to destroy Lisa here!

RP: There's no one to blame but Starr herself. You mess with the Countdown, you gotta face your punishment. Shoulda kept her big mouth shut, stayed home and watched the Cubs lose. But nooo, she's trying to be a special one! And now she's gonna do what all Chicagoans eventually do: Get her little ass handed to her! And I love it!

LvK: Eh..wow, Perle! Where did THAT come from?

RP: My mouth!

Between these two and the ring, Punky now takes my hair in her hands again. My scalp is on fire! Purple bitch seems to be jealous of my awesome MULTI-colored hair. Who can blame her? I for once wouldn't wanna look like a ripe eggplant. With me on my knees, she changes grip with one hand and gets a rough grip on my chin. Her taped fingers pressing into my cheeks, making me look all pouty as I slowly rise to my feet.

I may be hurting. I may be outnumbered. I may be out of breath. But there's one thing I'm not: Finished!! I wind up with my right and throw my fist into her abs. She grunts and bends over a bit. Her grip weakens a little. I fire in another shot. Another one! Another one! Her strong abs absorb the blows, but they're showing effect! I just gotta...

“AH!”

Letting out a short yelp as my hair is suddenly grabbed from behind and I'm roughly being yanked back. Red's come up behind me, watched me pound his partner again until he decided she had enough of it. A sharp, stinging pain in my neck from the rough jerk. Did I mention my burning scalp? Probably...my hair's been pulled a lot in this 'match' so far!

After the 'little' pull, my head gets shoved forward and RIGHT into a vicious European Uppercut by an angry Megan. Her angry roar echos through the auditorium while her bicep slams into my jaw and sends me rocking back. I stagger backwards, arms flailing a little. Windmilling to try and keep my balance. Until my backpedaling is stopped when I hit the steel ring post.

My back's against it, and with one nod of Punky's head, Red's behind me, grabbing my arms and pulling them back in a kinda Surfboard Stretch. My back is pinned tightly against the cold steel, arms wrenched back, and the evil, purple monster right in front of me.

“Ah...F....*BEEP*” gasping, I try to break free but can't get anywhere near breaking the grip. After trying for a few seconds my body just slumps back. I'm dizzy, stunned. All the high impacts I've suffered have taken a toll on me. And also having to fight these two all by myself! Whenever I think I get something going, then there's that other one. How am I supposed to beat these two all by myself? It can't be done. It simply can not be done!!

I have no idea where Lindsay is. And after seeing her lay all sprawled out, motionless and ass-up on top of the ramp earlier...I don't know if she's gonna make it! And if she doesn't make it then I might not make it out of this match on my own two feet.

Punky keeps stepping backwards, all the way to the far barricade that separates us from the crowd, She's gonna run. And from the look on her face I can see that it won't be pleasant for me. I try again to break Red's grip, but can barely move my arms. Instead he jerks back harder, making me moan in pain.

LvK: She's helpless! How can these two do this?

RP: Muscle and brains, Larry. That's all it takes to do this.

LvK: No, Perle! It takes disrespect! Towards your opponent, the rules, the fans, EVERYONE! These people came here to see a great match and now they see a mugging! This looks more like a gang fight than a wrestling match. Starr can't defend herself against these two top competitors. Especially not with them cheating every time Lisa seems to get some offense.

RP: This IS a wrestling match, van Keele! Didn't you hear the bell?

LvK: Ohhhhh no!

RP: How did you not hear that? It rang! Loud and clear!

LvK: No, you idi...Rich. The Purple Vixen! She's setting up for another Monster Queen Yakuza kick! She's going to crush Lisa Starr's skull!

RP: Put on your rain cape!

Megan nonchalantly throws me a little kiss - a kiss goodbye, kiss of death...whatever other kind of wrecking kisses there are – and then takes off. Her legs carrying her towards me. My head drops a little, closing my eyes tightly. Not wanting to see the boot come closer. Not wanting to know when my skull will be crushed between her boot and the ring post.

I'm just standing there. Held tightly. Hearing the boots pound the floor. And waiting for everything to end...

[Lindsay C]

...

RP: Put on your rain cape!

The sound of pounding boots echoes across the silenced arena. They're just watching in shock as Megan is about to rock the world of the little Rock Starr. A move that's gonna put her lights out and maybe even more.

She's running, her eyes on the prize, her boot comes up and...

THUD

YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!

LvK. What the...it's Lindsay!! The Dragon's back and JUST in time!

That's right! I'm back! And the boots Lisa heard weren't only Megan's. I came around the ring, ran around Red who's too busy holding Lisa's arms back. He never even noticed.

Oh and Megan? She was too busy trying to crack Lisa's skull like a walnut to see me. But eventually she noticed I've come around, when I put all the force and weight of my running 150lbs body into a Clothesline that does not only stop Punky dead in her tracks, but lets her do a neat little backflip out of mid-run.

Her tails whipping through the air as she grunts during the flight, and then lands with a thud, face down on the mats. I look down at her for a moment, then at Lisa who slumps down along the ring post as Red lets her go. He comes racing around the ring and right at me.

My eyes narrow as I turn to face him. He reaches out with these long arms and big hands as he runs towards me. I quickly duck underneath his charging attack. My shoulder thuds into his lower abs as I wrap my arms around the back of his legs, straighten up with a roar of effort to get him off his feet.

I quickly spin around, then drop forward on my right knee while pulling back on his legs and shoving my shoulder and head against his body, driving his body hard, back first into the mats with a spinning Spinebuster!

LvK: The Dragon saves the day! Wow!! Did you see that?! Two quick moves and the Countdown is down!

RP: I'm just wondering, WHAT'S THE REF DOING?! That nut is NOT the legal girl in this match and the ref HAS to get her back to her corner!

LvK: Are you serious? It's okay when the Countdown gangs up on the Dragon Starrs before the match and beat them to a pulp, but when Campbell helps out her partner against a 2 on 1 beatdown, that's...not ok?

RP: That's something completely different. That was BEFORE the bell! Now the match is officially underway. There's a match going on and Campbell just broke the rules! The ref should DQ them!

While Mr. van Keel practices some breathing exercises to keep himself from killing his broadcast partner, I get up to my feet and hurry over to my hurting partner, who's sitting there, leaned back against the ring-post. Her head comes up as I kneel in front of her, shaking her shoulders a little.

“You okay? Like....what have they done to you?!”

“Where the hell have you been so long?!”

“Well, I...I'm sorry, I just kinda...couldn't move and all.”

As Lisa sighs and rolls her eyes a little I hear a groan from behind me, and it's the one with the purple hair who slowly rises to her hands and knees.

“Oh...uh oh...”

I gasp and turn to Lisa, quickly helping her up on her feet.

“Come on, come on! Up up up!!”

“Ow...CAREFUL!”

She hisses at me as I get her up to her feet, facing the apron. Reaching between her legs from behind to hoist her up and help her crawl into the ring. I look back at the rising Punky again, then into the ring at Lisa. Knowing our corner is the one far far away I need to get Lisa further in. I mean, that girl could barely stand on her own! So I reach into the ring, hands on her tightly covered tush and give her a push..another one! I don't think she likes it as I hear - let's say - complaints every time I touch her tush and give her a little push.

After my second one, I hear some of the fans yell at me to “WATCH OUT!!” I turn quickly and coming right at me is Punky!! Damn it, that girl just won't stay down for long! She swings her forearm to the side of my head, but I've taken a few too many of those tonight already. This time I duck, letting her spin around with the momentum of her failed blow.

And as she turns to face me again, I reach under her left shoulder, and for the right side of her neck. My eyes locked on hers for a moment “That wasn't very nice!” before using my grip on her to lift her up a bit and shove her back, slamming her back first into the apron. The Purple Vixen arches her back after the impact, howling out in pain like maybe the prettiest, but also most dangerous, Coyote I've ever seen!

The ref looks down at me and I look up at him. Putting a bit of a smile across my lips. I'm far from fresh after that attack, but hey...I can still smile so all's good! I nod at him “Uh huh! I know! Megan in the ring, me to my corner. Done and done!” I say in a kinda sing-sang voice before roughly grabbing Punky by the back of her little microskirt and one of her purple punkytails. I step back, swing her around me once before roughly shoving and rolling her into the ring under the bottom rope.

RP: What is she...WHY did she roll her back into the ring?! Seriously, this girl is as stupid as she's tall!

LvK: The match takes place in the ring! Lindsay knows that, Lindsay respects that rule! The crowd came to see a clean wrestling match! And with Punky and Starr in the ring, this might FINALLY become a clean, fair wrestling match!

RP: Oh really? With the Countdown involved? You're just as delusional as that nutty Dragon!

I've run around the ring and hopped up to the apron. Standing in our corner, I look around the turnbuckles for the tag rope until I finally find it and get it in my left hand. Pushing up on my tip toes and leaning into the ring. Reeeeeaaaching out with my free right hand. Stretching my body out as far as I can. “Come on, Lisa! Come oooooooon!” hopping on my toes a bit as I'm getting all excited. Seeing Lisa crawl towards me...but sooooo very slowly. “Hurry hury! Come on! Quick quick quick!”

[RedEnforcer]

Damn, that was a pretty nasty spinebuster. I didn't think Gracie had it in her.  I know I should come up with a more current nickname for the Dragon, but Gracie Allen is the first thing that popped in my head. Why am I thinking about old comedy acts? Oh yeah, I'm pretty dazed and confused here. Let's just head back to my corner and up on the apron.

*BEEP* Lisa's moving to her corner. I reach out as I see Punky heading to towards me and my back lets me know it doesn't like bending this was so soon after the spinebuster.

LvK:  It looks like this may be Lisa's best shot of getting the tag!

RP: Wrong again! Punky's fresher and closer! The Enforcer is in and he catches Lisa by the ankle just before she can make the tag!

LvK: And look at Lindsay, she's upset she missed her chance.

RP: She shouldn't have tossed Punky in so close to her own corner. Lindsay's got only herself to blame. Although, damn, does she look hot with that pouty look on her face.

LvK:  Will you stop!?!


After dragging Lisa from the tag, I drop a quick strike elbow to her lower back. Time to end this. I think my shoulder's good enough for my finisher, but I want one more bit of punishment for the pixie. I get to my feet and haul her up to hers. 

LvK:  The Enforcer's got her up and scoops her in his arms and backs into the neutral corner.

RP:  Looks like it's time for a little Oklahoma Stampede!

LvK: He rushes out of the corner, gets to the center and jumps up, twisting and *WHAM* he drives poor Lisa Starr into the mat with an incredible running powerslam.

RP: I think he's ready to finish her off now...

I haul Lisa back up to her feet. I'd feel sorry for her a little if Gemma hadn't told me to bring the pain to her. I'm not sure what their history is, but she wanted me to make sure I pounded Lisa into a pulp if I had the chance. I slip in behind her and look over at her partner. Lindsay's looking in all kinds of distress. I can't miss the opportunity to dig in the knife so I blow her a little kiss before slipping my arms up under Lisa's. My fingers interlace and I start flexing.  I pull down on her neck with my hands and squeeze with my biceps into her, locking in a fierce full nelson. I lift the petite little girl up and get ready to swing her about. I turn towards Punky to make sure she's ok and not off in the Land of Obsession and I see her pointing behind me. What?

*BAMMMMMMMMM*

[ThePurpleVixen]

I see her coming like a Mack truck, and while I'm trying every bit of sign language I know for "TURN AROUND YOU IDIOT", Red's just staring blankly at me like a gorilla watching an aerobics class.

I wince a little as Lindsay Campbell crashes into the side of Red's head with a double axehandle that drops the big guy like a felled tree, his fingers unlinking from the Red Reign swinging nelson and letting lil' Lisa Starr collapse to the mat, a Bughouse Square puppet with no strings.  We've put that bratwurst through the wringer and she's still trying to fight to her feet.  Bitch has the same Energizer batteries that I do.

I roll my shoulders and crick my neck, growling in my throat as I lock eyes for a second with the Dragon in her stupid headband.  That big gawky hooker made a ragdoll out of me out on the floor, just when I was getting ready to turn Starr's thick skull into a rich gooey paste.  My neck, back and collarbone all have complaints to register, but I've got no time to listen to their whining. Red's pushing himself up off the mat, clearing the flashes out of his eyes from Campbell ringing his bell, but Starr's almost on her feet.  How is that bitch already on her feet?!

Screw this.

RP: Are you gonna tell me THAT'S playing fair, van Keel?

LvK: There's an old saying, Rick - turnabout is fair play!

RP: There's an even OLDER saying - YOU'RE FULL OF IT.  The Dragon just friggin' entered the ring illegally and WAILED on the Red Enforcer. BLATANTLY.  And that's fair play?

LvK: Look, Rick - the Countdown has been playing by their own damn rules since BEFORE this match began, and Lindsay Campbell has clearly had enough.

RP: And I'VE had enough of these prancing blondes and their do-gooder friends claiming the moral high ground when they're just as dirty as everyone else.

LvK: ... you live in a dark, corrupt world, Perle.

RP: It's my world, baby.  EVERYONE is livin' in it.

I vault over the top rope, Docs slamming to the canvas as the referee struggles to wrangle the big gangly furious tangle of Lindsay Campbell back into her corner.  Lisa's just regaining her feet, her hand cradling the back of her neck and her blue-blonde tangle of hair half-hanging in her face.  Looking like she's become fun enough to get drunk, she staggers towards her corner, her hand outstretched ...

... of course, I hate being ignored.  And since the referee has his hands full with Campbell ...

*FWUMP!*

LvK: OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!  COME ON!

RP: There's an old saying, van Keel - turnabout something something and then you get kicked in the goodies.

Lisa goes to her tippy toes as I withdraw the steel rounded tip of my Doc from between her skinny thighs, and she collapses slowly to her knees as the crowd groans in sympathy, her mouth a round O of silent agonized dismay.

Red blinks behind his mask as he staggers up to one knee, and starts to get to his feet. "Punky, what the f-" he begins for the second time this match, and I drag him up and lightly push him into our corner before I sharply CLAP my hands overhead.  That sounds like a nice clean tag, and I make sure to step up smartly behind Lisa and drive the heel of my boot into the base of her skull. That drops her facedown on the mat and hides any evidence of wrongdoing.  At least enough to fool a zebra, anyway.

If they hired smart, attentive referees, we'd be in Japan.

The ref manages to corral the roaring Dragon to the apron - she might have caught a glimpse of me giving her lil' partner a spicy boot in the taco, and it didn't seem to have done wonders for her temperament - and finally turns around.  He sees me dragging Lisa up to her feet and sees Red glaring at me while he steps between the ropes and takes a firm, furious grasp of the tag rope, and puts 1 and 1 together to make 3.  "Legal tag!" he says, and I can't help but laugh a little as I get a firm grip on Lisa's shoulders and piston my knee up into her guts.

LvK: I ... she ... wh- ... LEGAL TAG?!

RP: What the referee didn't see ... is like ninety percent of the fun of wrestling.

Lisa folds up like origami and I drag her back towards my corner.  With my back to the buckles, I snuggle her chin down on my left shoulder and force her right hand between her legs, cinching her wrist with my right as I loop my left arm over her shoulders.  "Let me show you how you actually throw a *BEEP*ing suplex, sweetheart," I purr in her ear, drawing a dazed growl in response before I flex my legs low and SNAP up, throwing her over my head, carrying her over by the wrist cinch and her shoulder to send her CRASHING into the buckles behind me, and I sit up with a satisfied Cheshire cat grin as she crumples to the mat like a crumpled Cubs program.

The Master Exploder. Takes out even the most tenacious of rivals.

RP: I friggin' love when she does the Master Exploder.

LvK: Really, Rick?  What is it you like best?  The way she hammers them into unforgiving steel buckles?  The way she sets it up so they fall on their head and neck?  The sick, twisted grin she has after she hits it?

RP: You're right, van Keel - it's all too perfect to pick any one part of it as a favorite.  It's like trying to pick your favorite part of a hot fudge sundae.  Except it's made of pain instead of ice cream.

LvK: ... I should've taken that job announcing lady's varsity games at St. Martin's.

Lisa's deadweight.  "Pin her already an' stop showin' off," Red drawls, still sounding like he's got some Dixie fury in his voice, probably a bit torqued about being blind-tagged.  Twice. I wave him off and gather up the scraps of the little Starr, and I make a special point to give an obnoxiously cheery thumbs-up to Lindsay Campbell in her corner, making her pound the top buckle in frustration.  I let Lisa lean into me like we're waltzing and I place a warm teasing kiss on her soft cheek with my poisonous black lips before I slowly cinch her hand up between her thighs again and cuddle her jaw against my shoulder, bending low and TOSSING her over again in another Master Exploder, crumpling her up into the turnbuckles again with a sweet sound like a deer bouncing off a truck grille.

I can see Larry van Keel at the ringside announce table pounding the tabletop with his fist like a preacher raining down fire and brimstone, and Rick Perle grinning at me with his capped white teeth.  I grin back.  For a moment I think I see something in the crowd, just behind the anounce table ... but I shake my punkytails back over my shoulder, and it's gone.

Just a shadow.

I turn my attention back to Lisa's twisted wreckage, and my grin lights back up like a pachinko machine.  I wrap my taped fist around Starr's left All-Star and drag her by the heel towards mid-ring like a fresh kill.

If the Dragon gets all angry again, she's sure to have the ref's attention once more, and then Reddy and I'll get another chance to play rough with our new favorite toy.

I lay Lisa in mid-ring in a little spread-eagle with her splayed sneakers towards her corner, and then slither over her, snaking sensually across her little body with my dark eyes locked in Lindsay's furious ones as I lovingly straddle her little buddy's pert tits, taking an arrogant seat on her chest.

"Count it," I purr to the referee, resting my hands on Lisa's belly and curling my legs back, pushing the PG-rating for the show just as fucking far as I can without grinding Starr's face into my tights.

Sure enough, the ref doesn't even get to finish counting one before Campbell is over the ropes, coming pelting at me, and I do a simple aikido back-roll off of the little straight-edger, avoiding Lindsay's furious swing, and I giggle a little as the referee wraps around her waist and starts to drag the furious Ohioan back to her corner.

Now for some more fun.

[The Second City Wrestlerette]

My coach always told me „Resiliency is as much of a curse as it is a gift.” Something I never quite understood. Until I came to FTW! Sure, when you can take a lot before staying down it frustrates your opponent. You get more chances to come back into the match, and when facing someone who lacks stamina? Perfect!
On the other hand, there's the curse! They will just keep pounding you until your tanks are empty. And that's what's happening here and now. I've been double teamed, kicked, stomped, choked, thrown, kicked some more, thrown some more...

That last sequence has me down and out. The low blow, kick to the back of my head, followed by these 2 Master Exploders?!!? I'm just a ragdoll for the Princess of the Darkness right now. And I'm pretty sure that black lipstick has some sort of poison in it. I felt something...my body reacted to that kiss of death. No idea what that was, though...

Anyways, I'm laying in a broken-down and motionless heap in Countdown's corner, until my limp carcass is dragged to the middle of the ring in a way a barbarian would drag a killed deer around! As she lets go, the leg simply drops and bounces once. Ending up spread-eagled in the middle of the ring. Head lolled to the side, eyes closed. My only movement is my heaving chest as I try to catch my breath, but that isn't seen for long as Punky decides to take a seat on my chest.

The producers won't like it very much. Especially not when they hear that sexy little purr towards the ref, or look at the sensual way she slithered across me there (I'm sure they'll watch it again and again, though. Just to really figure out how much they don't like it, of course)

Now...I know Lindsay is a smart girl, but here? She ran right into the Purple Devil's little trap. My partner enters the ring, charging in, only to be intercepted by the ref. At that moment, I actually DO get a bit of Punky's tights into my face as she does that back-roll off of me and rolls right over my face. I throw my head to the other side and my arms up, wanting to push at something that isn't even there anymore after that quick, fluid roll.

“Fffffffffffffff” exhaling deeply before taking in as much air as I can get. Hearing Lindsay argue with the ref in her cute little way, then throws some *BEEP*ed out curse words at Punky before going back to all cute and trying to reasonably argue with the ref. Trying to convince him that all she wants to do in the ring is slam Megan through it! For some reason, the ref won't allow that. But she's...a little stubborn right now.

“Ohhhhh sh*BEEP*” I'm torn out of listening to the ref and the Dragon by a hand that gets a rough grip on my hair. NOT AGAIN, DAMN IT! I grimace and roll to my hands and knees. My hands move up her legs, to her knees, weakly pawing at them like a dog wanting attention. Only I'm trying to use her legs and hips to climb to my feet. Punky lets out an evil little laugh before cupping my chin, forcing me to straighten up on my knees and to look into her eyes.

“When ya gonna learn, Starr?!” she growls, then brushes some of my hair out of my face. “When ya gonna SMARTEN THE *BEEP* UP and just STAY THE *BEEP* DOWN, and stop your *BEEP*ing pointless fighting?"  She bends down in front of me as my hands stop pawing at her thighs. Her face in front of mine, the ref still busy with Lindsay, but he gets her back closer and closer to the corner.

“Stop fighting?” Groaning at Punky “...once you're finished!” I hiss and then? It's time for payback! Along with my last word, I THROW my right arm up as hard I can between the Purple Vixen's legs. My arm tensed, and I slam my bicep up brutally with a low-blow! It may not be as hard as a kick with a freakin steel toed boot, but it'll do the job!

RP: Are you kidding me?!

LvK: What? Punky has done the EXACT same thing to Lisa and that was ok. Now what's your problem with Starr giving Dow a dose of her own medicine?

RP: She...stole that move!

No, I didn't! I merely modified it. Punky grunts out in pain and bends over, her hands going between her legs. All of a sudden, Lindsay's in a hurry to get out of the ring, giving the ref a little shove before she climbs out and grabs the tag rope. Looking on in anticipation as I use all I got left to spring up to my feet before the ref sees Megan's hands between her own legs. We don't wanna get him to think...anything at all. Might make his head hurt.

So I move quickly. Up on my feet in front of Megan, my right arm goes around her left thigh, hooking that leg up a bit as my left arm slides over her right shoulder and I duck my head under her left arm. The ref turns as I set it up, quickly stepping to the side. He knows what's coming and he wouldn't wanna have that Purple Nightmare slam into him. I whisper into her ear “Let me show YOU how you actually throw a *BEEP*ing suplex, sweetheart” I hop up a little with both legs, bending my knees a bit and when they hit the mat again, I arch my back, snap my hips forward, lift Punky off her feet and throw her back over my head.

LvK: STARR HITS THE STRAIGHT EDGE!! From out of nowhere! Where does that girl take her energy from?!

RP: Oh I dunno, maybe from low-blowing poor, helpless girls?

LvK: P...poor and helpless? You're not talking about Megan, are you?

RP: Well...*thinks*...OF COURSE! Obviously! I mean...

Punky bounces off the canvas above me and arches her back. I can hear her moans quite clearly as we're only laying a few feet from each other in the middle of the ring. If we were a little further apart, I couldn't hear a thing over the explosive loud cheers from the crowd. Another thing I can hear is Red cursing and yelling at Megan to “GET UP!” while on the opposite side of the ring Lindsay hammers the top turnbuckle with her free hand. “COME ON, LISA!! HURRY HURRY!”

“Wait...just a moment, Sunny” I mutter under my breath as I roll over to my belly and crawl towards my corner. And, just a little off the road there is a Purple Vixen arching in pain. No way...”Sorry, Linds” I groan and crawl to Punky instead, just getting my right arm across her chest before I collapse.

The ref drops, checks the shoulders “ONE, T...TWO” and she kicks out. Didn't even have to try hard as the only part of me that pinned her down was my arm across her chest. So she just had to roll her shoulder off the canvas.

RP: There ya go! It's her own damn fault she's getting beat up so much! She could've easily made the tag by now!

Oh shut up, Perle! I'm on my way!! As the ref still raises his 2 fingers in the air I keep crawling towards my corner. Getting closer and closer. I extend my arm, just a few inches away when suddenly “Huh?!” Gasping in shock and as I turn around, Punky's got my left foot in her hands! And she doesn't look too happy about that Suplex. I'm dragged back to the middle of the ring as she gets up to her feet, forcing me up with her.

We're both standing now. Well, she's standing while I'm hopping around on my free right foot. She grits her teeth, hissing at me “I'm gonna rip your *BEEP*ing head off, s-” and that's where she's forced to shut up! I LEAP up with my right foot. Laying myself out in mid-air, twisting my body to the left and throwing my leg around.

WHACK!

The thud echoes through the auditorium as I slam the top of my foot across the side of her head with an Enzuigiri that breaks her grip on my left foot and takes her down on her side. I land on my hands and knees, looking back over my shoulder to see her down, a little grin across my lips. “Looks like I got to kick yours off, first!” Then looking into their corner, seeing Red shaking his head in disbelief. Then I turn my head, seeing my lil Sunny girl leaning into the ring over the top rope as far as her tall frame allows. Time to let her loose!

Planting the toes of my sneakerboots into the canvas, pushing off of them and lunging in towards my corner. My right arm extended as I leap through the air towards my partner...

[Lindsay C]

SMACK!

“TAG!” The ref yells out and a huge cheer comes from the crowd as I'm finally, officially a part of this match now. I quickly climb into the ring, making sure not to step on my partner who's rolling out to the apron. I look at Red for a moment, who holds his hand out towards his partner for a tag. But she's way too far away from the ropes, and just starts to dizzily get back up to her feet after Lisa knocked her silly with that kick.

I'm not giving her the time to get too comfy on her feet, though. Running in towards the momentarily stunned purple-haired girl. Getting the timing just right, reaching her as she gets to her feet aaaaaaaand

BAM!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Putting Megan back down to the canvas the very moment she got up on her feet. Leveling her with a big Clothesline. After that, Red illegally enters the and comes rushing at me. Looking pretty angry! Deciding I have to greet him accordingly. Turning my side towards him, one arm goes between his legs, wrapping around one of his thighs, the other arm goes up across the back of his neck. Using his momentum to help lifting him up on my shoulders for a split second. Not wanting to waste any of that momentum so I drop back quickly and level him with a quick Samoan Drop!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

The crowd's going crazy as I floor our opponents in quick succession! I get back up to my feet, looking around to find out where my opponents are. I kinda lost track of them with all the tossing and slamming. “Ohhhh NO!” My eyes grow as I see Punky's already on her feet again! Why does she always have to get up? She's just like Lisa in our sparring sessions! But...OK! If she likes...

But again I'm looking to meet her before she can do anything real dangerous. So I charge in on her rising form and throw my right leg up. Planting the sole of my boot right across her face. Her upper body snaps back, her legs taken out from under her from the big impact. She goes down hard, her upper back and the back of her head smacking down into the canvas. Taking the Purple Vixen down hard with a Big Boot.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

I turn again, seeing Red pull himself up to his feet with the help of the ropes. I narrow my eyes, growling a little “Grrrrrrrrrrrrr just why won't anyone stay down here?!” Stomping the canvas in frustration before rushing across the ring. My right arm extended aaaaaand it smacks hard across Red's chest as he stands with his back against the ropes. He's arched back over the top rope as I lean forward over it. And I get him back far enough to make him flip back and out of the ring, landing with a thud.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

LvK: The Dragon's in and she's cleaning house! Wow! That girl is on fire and just like that, Countdown's in trouble!

RP: You know as well as I do that when you're in Countdown, there is no such thing as trouble! They'll find a way out, and they'll work that long-legged nut just like they did with her pale little friend.

I lean over the top rope, looking down at Red laying on the thinly padded floor outside the ring. My arms dangling over the top rope as I take a moment to catch my breath. A little smile across my lips. But I guess relax time is over as I hear Lisa from our corner.

“LINDS! Arm, ARM!”

I turn, looking at her a little puzzled as she just starts pulling herself to her feet “Huh?”

“Ah...*BEEP* that was the other one...” she thinks for a moment, then points at Punky “GO GET HER!”

“Oh! Sure, yeah! Sorry!” I nod and push off the ropes towards her. I bend over and reach under her shoulders to help her up to her feet, when again I hear Lisa barking commands at me.

“NO! NOT THAT GOODY TWO SHOES SH*BEEP*! POUND HER!”

“Okay, okay!” I grumble back as I release Punky's arms and let her drop to her hands and knees again. Stepping to her left side, raising my arms to lock my hands above my head before dropping down to my knees. Just DRIVING my locked hands down into her spine with a Double Axe Handle.

She drops down flat on the canvas, arching her back and moaning out in pain after the impact.

“Stay on her, Linds! Remember the ramp!!”

“Oh...right!” I hold my right hand out towards the ref, raising my head and giving him a quick smile “I know, I know. Five count! I'm sorry!” Even pouting at him a little as my left hand grabs for one of Punky's Purple PunkytailsTM.

“Now...about earlier, Megan!” I lift her head up off the canvas and THROW my right arm down. Slamming my forearm across the side of her head. Once, twice, three times before the ref's count reaches 3. Paying her back for how she hammered my head back on the ramp.

RP: Really? I mean, REALLY? Come on! Stealing Dow's moves AGAIN?

LvK: It's called payback, Rick! They're giving her a taste of her own medicine. And if you ask me, it's long overdue someone shows this purple demon what it's like to be pounded like that.

RP: Good thing no one asks you. But...pounding her? I wouldn't mind showing her what it's like to be poun-

LvK: Focus on the match!

After I finished slamming my forearm across Punky's head I get up to my feet, smiling and nodding at the ref, also patting him on his shoulder. “I know! I know, no hair and all that! Sorry, won't happen again!” Tilting my head to the side for a moment as I smile at him, before turning my attention back to the downed Megan. Grabbing for her wrists to yank her up off the canvas and into me.

Pulling that strong body against mine, my right arm wraps around her body under her arm, the left one goes over her right shoulder. Clamping my hands on her upper back. “And now, let ME show you how you actually throw a suplex!” I whisper, then giggle a little before dipping my knees. Then with a little grunt of effort I straighten up and pull up with my arms that tighten around her to get a good grip. Lifting her up off her feet, I'm going on my tip toes before twisting to my left. Turning around 180° along with a little jump to gain some height before I drop down. Slamming the Purple Vixen into the canvas with a little Belly-to-Belly Suplex. I'm thinking...maybe my body slamming into hers right after the impact helps knocking some wind out of her lungs as well. It probably does!

I get up on my knees, but before I can even get to my feet...

“Hey, Chipmunk! I think the red guy asked you to lace his boots again. Go, take a look!”

I look back over my shoulder, seeing Lindsay pointing out at Red. And after a short argument, she makes her point quite clear that she DEMANDS the ref to check on Red. I throw a questioning “Huh?” her way, but instead of saying anything, she just motions at me to get Punky up. “Ohhhhhhh!” I look at her, then at the ref, wanting to say something about how “That's cheating!” but I swallow it down, grab two handfuls of Punkytails and get our Purple Ragdoll back up on her feet.

I quickly wrap my arms around her thighs and bend over a bit before straightening up with a soft little grunt. Holding her up like I'm about to give her a Spinebuster, but instead...I just wait. Behind me, Lisa leaps up onto the top rope and Springboards off of them. I look up and see her come, legs first, flying over my left shoulder. I'm waiting for the right moment in which she gets her arms wrapped around Punky's chin from behind and then kneel down and slam her hard into the canvas with that Spinebuster, while Lisa adds a big bit to the impact with a Springboard Neckbreaker.

RP: And these are your heroes, huh? That Starr is as dirty as all of Countdown together! I actually...start to like her!

LvK: Ohhh, don't say that!! Don't say you're starting to like her! That's a bad, bad thing, Perle!

The crowd doesn't really care who likes who right now. All they know is that there's this sexy, purple haired girl - who has caused all sorts of pain and dished out all kinda of punishment in and outside the ring over the years – arching her back, moaning out and having her face twisted and contorted in pain. And they love it!! They're on their feet and cheering loudly. I kneel in front of the downed Punky and adjust my headband as Lisa quickly rolls out of the ring and back to our corner.

The ref turns around, after finding out that Red didn't really want anything from him, and faces me. I just give him a little smile and shrug my shoulders. And then...my partner again “Stop flirting and put her away!!”

“Ts!” I roll my eyes and look back at her over my shoulder “Would you calm down, please?! We got this, OK?!”

“We got this when it's over, Sunny!”

“Fine!” Letting out a little sigh. I'm usually all about having fun in the ring, but tonight, this match? Lisa seems to take this super serious! I can't blame her, I guess. She just really really doesn't like the Countdown! So I decide to slide over the canvas to Punky's side, laying across her chest, hooking up her far leg for the pin.

ONE, TWO...TWO!

She kicks out hard, twisting her shoulder off the mat.

Kneeling next to her, I look back at Lisa, up at the ref, then down at Megan. “Huh...ehm...okay, then!” I say and nod before getting to my feet. Brushing my hair out of my face and adjusting my headband, wristbands, shorts. Why am I doing that? Because I need Punky on her feet for what I got planned. Why don't I get her up myself? Because that wouldn't work. Stop asking those questions, just wait and see!!

I shift lightly on my feet as Megan starts to work her way up. Wanting to stay behind her, out of her sight as she rises. And once she's halfway up, I sprint. Running across the ring towards her right side. I turn and hit the ropes back first, the ropes are trembling, boards bouncing as I run back across the ring at high speed. She's got perfect timing, really! Staggering up to her feet and right into my lane as I reach her! I lean forward a bit, right shoulder turned out, arm pinned tightly against my side, hands locked in front of my abs and...

BAAAAMMMMMM!!

All the force of my run. All the velocity, all the speed unloads against  Megan's chest as I slam shoulder-first into her. Giving her a little flying lesson as I connect with my Buckeye Bodycheck! She takes a short flight before landing with a thud and in a heap, at the ropes. I lost balance upon impact as well and ended up stumbling, landing on my hands and knees as the crowd explodes again.

I see Megan landed so close to the ropes and quickly crawl towards her. As I'm on my way, I wave Lisa off with my right hand, knowing she's about to bark in commands at me again to go pin her or something like that. But I know what to do! Pin her!! After crawling into reach, I grab for her wrists and drag her back, away from the ropes towards the middle of the ring. She actually looks kinda cute! All peaceful and stuff...unfortunately that's such a rare sight!

As I got her far enough from the ropes I wrap my arms around her legs and roll over. My back presses against her chest as I fold her up tightly. “This is it! This has GOT to be it!” I mutter to myself.

The ref drops, he counts, Mr. van Keel counts, the crowd counts

ONE

…

TWO

RP: And Red breaks it up! Good job!

I'm rocked by Red's attack. I never saw it coming. He moved in quickly under the bottom rope, crawled the few feet before driving a Double-Axe Handle into my lower back. Pretty much at the same time he hit the blow, Megan rolled her shoulder off the canvas. So...that hit was kinda unnecessary! Well, THANK YOU very much!

Rolling off Punky and to my knees, my right hand on my lower back, right where I just took that hit from Red. Staring at him through narrowed eyes as the ref sends him out of the ring and back to his corner. “That. Wasn't. Nice!”

[RedEnforcer]

I can't believe how much of a rush Lindsay is in.  I don't think I've seen this side of her. It must be some combination of Lisa's influence and her own anger at the beatdown earlier that has her on fire right now. I keep glaring at her as I follow the ref's instructions to get back in my corner.  I'm not sure what's going on in her head right now, but we need to put this dragon down.  Somehow, Punky's got to make it to my corner.

RP: What did that idiot just do?

LvK I can't believe it fans, Lindsay must really want some of the Enforcer....

RP: ....I've heard that about most of the roster.

LvK:  Some payback on the Enforcer because she just tossed Punky into her own corner and is pretty much daring the Enforcer to tag in.

RP: How come all of the sexy blondes have elevators that don't always go to the top...


Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, I make the tag and slide in. The crowd is really electric now and fully behind their heroine. I put my hands together, interlace my fingers and crack my knuckles. Yeah, this is going to be good.  Let's see how strong this girl is. I figure if I challenge her strength for strength and do some good solid wrestling, it'll draw her in.

LvK: And after all that action earlier, the Enforcer looks to slow the pace a bit.

RP: He's methodical and he knows that the best way to rob Lindsay of that adrenaline fueled strength is to rob her of her adrenaline. 

LvK: But it looks like it may backfire as after a brief back and forth, Lindsay is shoving the Enforcer back to a neutral corner!

RP: What do they feed those girls in Ohio!?!

I can feel the turnbuckles on my back and I know this is a risk, but I have to know if Lindsay's good girl tendencies are fully out the window or just temporarily shelved.  As she presses back on me, I lift my hands up, leaning back and signaling to the ref I want a clean break. Lindsay doesn't release right away and she looks a bit torn. But in the end she lets me up.

We reset and this time I drive her back into the opposite corner. One piece of the trap is set now for the next.  I push her hard into the corner, but then she mimics my hands being up and I lift my hands off of her and....

RP & LvK (together in shock): A CLEAN BREAK!?!

The crowd seems as confused as everyone else. Is that a hint of a smile on Lindsay's face? Good. Now for the final part.

LvK: Collar and elbow tie up again and Lindsay is pushing back the Enforcer. Time for the break and...

RP: Ahh, the Greco Roman poke to the eye! Classic move!

LvK: The Enforcer jabbed at Lindsay's eye while the ref was watching him and now the Enforcer grabs her by her hair and spins her into the corner. 

RP: Those are some sick chops he's laying into the Buckeye Bimbo. Maybe he'll knock some sense into her.

I watch as Lindsay's body spasms each time the flat of my palm strikes her upper chest. Yeah that's taking some sting out of her and since I slowed her down, I know she's hurting.  I need to get her even more weakened and as the ref hits 4, I pull her out of the corner by her hair and drive my knee up into her belly. Her mouth making a nice O as the air rushes out of her lungs.  Which gives me an idea.  I come up behind her, still unaccustomed to matching up with a woman my height and press up against her. I slip my left arm along her neck, crook of my elbow against her chin and trap her head in my arm. My left hand grabs my right bicep as I press my right arm along the right side of her head. Once in place, I start squeezing my arms against her head and feeling her body resisting mine as I lock on the...

RP: CAUDLE CLUTCH! CAUDLE CLUTCH! CAUDLE CLUTCH!  That dumb*BEEP* wanted to teach the Dragon Starrs that move and now the Enforcer has it locked in on Lindsay!

LvK: Yes fans, Johnny Caudle's own perfected version of the sleeper is being used by his worst enemy to take out young Lindsay Campbell.

She's fighting me and I love it. Her arms are thrashing about wildly, but I'm just swinging her head side to side in the opposite way to cancel out any momentum. The whole time, just grinding my muscles hard into the side of her neck and her chin and maybe slipping down over her throat once in a while.  Finally her arms stop moving as wildly and I feel her hands palming at me, desperately trying to tug loose, but finding no release there.  I feel her body slacken as we both slowly move down to the mat.  I try and lean so the pressure is still tight on her as we both lie on our sides.  The ref steps in after an eternity and starts raising Lindsay's arm.

RP: That's One Keel!

LvK: And if the ref hits three, this match is done for.

RP: Two!

LvK: It looks like it's all over...It's Up!!! She got her arm up! This crowd is going nuts!  They are cheering her on to get her to break this hold!

I can't believe she is still fighting. What do they feed these girls in Ohio?  I try and shove her down, but she struggles to her feet, inspired by her fans and Lisa yelling in the corner.  She gets to her feet and then fires back on me...once...twice..and at the third back elbow, I'm forced to let her go.  Lisa is calling out for the tag. Lindsay hesitates just one moment and that's all I need. I fire forward while bent over and slam my shoulder into Lindsay's stomach and drive her back into my corner.

[ThePurpleVixen]

I rest on my elbows on the top rope, the tag rope dangling from my fingers like an unattended cigarette, and let my breathing take the pain away. Deep, steady prana breaths to forget the harsh impact of that little Chicago brat's bicep with my goodies, the clop of her stupid fucking sneaker against my head, and the whiplash impact of that big gangly bitch Lindsay's heavy moves.  My head rings and my back aches, but I stretch my neck, rolling my shoulders, and shifting my weight in the corner, my dark eyes never leaving the action in the ring.

Stupid cow wanted to play wtih the Enforcer, and now the Enforcer is playing with her.

"That must be how they do things in Ohio, huh?" I smirk down at a passing cameraman who tilts his glassy lens up to catch my dark amusement at Linds slowly fading in the Caudle Clutch.

That degenerate hick color man Caudle wanted to teach the Jailbait Express here how to use his famous sleeper, and instead Red's giving the doofy tall one a free lesson in how to get put the fuck to sleep.

I tense my taped fist around the tag rope, pacing the apron to its taut length and back towards the ringpost, my eyes flickering to Lisa Starr.  Starr must see that her big buddy is about to pass out in a drooling wreck, and she's tensed to do SOMEthing ... but she's not making a move into the ring yet.  I dunno why, the ref is already at tw-

LvK: It looks like it's all over...It's UP! She got her arm up! This crowd is going nuts!  They are cheering her on to get her to break this hold!

RP: Oh, COME ON! WHERE THE HECK DO THEY LEARN HOW TO DO THIS-

"- this *BEEP*, *BEEP*ing BABYFACE ACADEMY?" I roar at no one in particular, slamming a fist into the buckle.

Thankfully unaware of how Rick "Precious" Perle and I are of one mind on this occasion (a thought that would probably make me push my finger so far down my throat that I could scratch my colon), I pace on the apron as Lindsay fires up.

"DON'T *BEEP*ING LET HER GO, RED!  GET THAT *BEEP*ING OHIO VALLEY SASQUATCH UNDER CONTROL!"

Red answers with a growl that I'm going to charitably assume means something like "Thanks for the helpful advice, Punky!".  He manages to twist around Linds before she can elbow her way completely free, bending down and driving his big shoulder into her gut and driving her all the way back to our corner where she crashes like a Prius in a demolition derby.

I purr happily - for a fleeting moment, all thoughts of Rowan Chance lurking in the building forgotten as I have a chance to inflict some pain on this goofy blonde in the neon headband - and I bounce up to the bottom rope to lean over and plant a resounding kiss on the top of Red's mask as he grips the top rope on either side of Linds, pinning her in.

"*BEEP*ing BEAUTIFUL, Reddy.  Get this gangly bitch up on your shoulders for me, and let her take a look at her little buddy," I purr.  Red peers up at me in a mixture of surprise and grim delight, and smiles that rough Tracy Smothers smile of his as he hauls Linds out of the corner by the headband and shoves her forward a little, leaving her facing her corner before ducking under her shapely butt and shoving his head between her thighs from behind before straightening up with a growl, lifting her up Animal-style as the audience roars in helpless protest.

Campbell dizzily sways up there, still punchy from the Caudle Clutch and then being rag-dolled, and Lisa Starr pounds her fist on the buckle in protest. The ref uneasily looks between us and then moves towards Lisa to try to cut off any interference.  Smart ref.  I loudly SMACK my hand against Red's firm back, clearly enough for even a zebra to hear (they're famous for not hearing things, like steel chairs clattering against skulls just behind them) and then grip the top rope. With a neat lunge, I vault to the high steel strand, my joshi skirt fluttering around my hips as I balance there for a moment, grinning like a gargoyle before I SPRING off the top rope. I get sweet height, almost thirteen feet in the air off a huge thrust from my legs and the snap of the steel cable, and at the apex of my jump I cinch my arm around the back of Lindsay's head and swing my long legs out in front of me, giving gravity a helping hand in reclaiming her.

RP: GOING DOWN!

LvK: My GOD, what a brutal bulldog!  Off of the Red Enforcer's shoulders!  Campbell's head dropped nearly twelve feet! That's GOT to be it!

RP: You'd THINK so, but for some reason these numbnuts good girls and boys always wanna be Hulk Hogan and kick out of things they should just lie down for.  If they'd just lay QUIET, they'd get a nice trip to the arena doc and some painkillers.  Instead, half the time we hard workers gotta send 'em to the ER just to finish the damn match.

LvK: And by "hard workers" you mean "horrible murderous bastards".

RP: Yeah, it's shorthand.  Now, Punky?  SHE'S a HELL of a hard worker.

We CRASH down from the heavens with the Doomsday Dog and Lindsay bounces like Icarus on a bad day, flopping limp.  I rebound off the mat myself, bouncing off my bruised buns, feeling the shock run up my spine as I roll over to one knee, hissing. I stretch out and recover, jerking my head over my shoulder at Lisa as I slither over to grab Linds and roll her over to her back by those little shorts. I lay my chest across hers, pushing my forearm into her throat and hooking her far leg, nodding along with the count.

ONE!

TWO!

TH-

Three, right?

NO?

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN NO?!

RP: I TOLD YOU, VAN KEEL!  NO HUMAN SHOULD HAVE KICKED OUT OF THAT!  THIS IS ALL HULK HOGAN'S FAULT!  HIM AND THOSE DAMN VITAMINS!

LvK: Deep breaths, Rick.  The Red Enforcer absolutely CLUBBED Lisa Starr off the ring apron before she could get in to help her partner, but Lindsay Campbell BARELY rolled her shoulder up enough to break the count and this match continues - although the Dragon Starrs might not want it to!

RP: I DEMAND A VITAMIN TEST!

I snarl at the referee like fucking Cujo and he flop-sweats backwards, warding me off with both hands.  My taped fists lace into Lindsay's strawberry scarecrow hair and I haul the gangly brat off the canvas in a loose-limbed tangle, holding her with her knees bent and her legs wobbly so I can yank her head back and snarl into her face.

"You and your STUPID *BEEP*ing little yappy dog buddy are gonna *BEEP*ing learn, ONE way or the *BEEP*ing other -"

I twist my fingers in her hair until I draw a pained groan as I wrench her head back and go nose-to-nose with her, snarling against her soft lips.  To my annoyance, I can hear some of the neckbeards and NXT fans in the audience chanting along with me.

"- SMARTEN THE *BEEP* UP AND STAY THE *BEEP* DOWN!"

Before Linds can gather her wits for a scathing retort - I mean, shit, this match has a one-hour time limit and they've gotta clean the building by 1 AM to get ready for the Shriner's Convention, we ain't got all night - I piston my knee up, low under her belly button.  Real low.  The referee probably has questions about how low, but he couldn't really see it from his angle since some crazy bitch with purple hair was in his way.


RP: Oooh, right in the breadbasket!

LvK: That was CLEARLY a low blow!

RP: Yep, right in the lower abdomen.

LvK: ...

RP: What, it's only okay if Bret Hart does it?

With the Dragon suitably pacified, I twist around and push my back against her, settling her jaw against my left shoulder and almost caressing her hair as I snuggle her against me, wriggling my hips cozily into place with a sly smirk on my face that I just KNOW will get my YouTube hits up this week.  I slither my right hand down, hooking her right knee and hoisting her up to hook those long legs over my hips, grunting a little as I take the big Ohio girl's weight on my back -

- and then I snarl and KICK hard off my boots, jumping up and TWISTING in the air, my skirt fluttering and punkytails trailing behind me as I kick both my long legs out wide and drop me and Linds down to our asses, letting Linds take all the impact so the force snaps her jaw off my shoulder like a toddler bouncing off a drunken daddy's fist.

"OHHHHHHHHHH!" the crowd groans in that wonderful combination of awe, sympathy, and envy they get when they see me hurt people.  The Forever Time Buster bounces Linds off my shoulder and flops her deadweight onto her back.  I grin and get swiftly up to my knees, then to my toes, hooking both those long legs before I KICK up and over, landing in a flawless bridge with a jack-knife pin over the fallen Dragon.

Fuck the Black Arrow.  This is how you kill a fucking dragon.

ONE!

TWO!

THR-WHATTHEFUCK.

I grunt as a stupid Chuck Taylor snaps into my perfectly bridged back, breaking my perfect bridge and my perfect pin and how the FUCK did she get in here.

LvK: And Lisa Starr DYNAMICALLY slides past the Red Enforcer from the outside of the ring to lunge and just barely save her partner and the match!

RP: And that's supposed to be fair, is it?

LvK: I ... damn it, Perle, EVERY tag team wrestler EVER has saved their partner!  You can't turn that against me!  It doesn't make the Dragon Starrs IMMORAL, damn it!

RP: Just admit your hypocrisy, van Keel, and I'll let you stop wriggling in the crushing grip of reason.

Red finally gathers whatever passes for wits in the deep South and rushes after Lisa, and I think, ya know, fuck it.  I slither on top of Lindsay as she's still down and out of it from the Doomsday Dog and then the Forever Time Buster (when you think of a wrestling match in terms of signature move names, it sounds kinda like an anime), straddling her belly.  I slide my left hand behind her head and snuggle her up so I can begin to piston god-damn punches into her forehead until I feel better and have some fucking blood on my fucking knuckles.

[The Second City Wrestlerette]

It's not easy to watch Linds take a beating like that, but there's not a lot I can do right now. And also, I know how tough the Dragon is, and that purple-haired demoness won't get to finish her this quickly.

Well...that Doomsday Dog looked pretty big, so...maybe I should just “UGH! WHAT THE *BEEP*?!” I groan and curse as Red just comes rushing across the ring and hammers me with his forearm, causing me to fall off the apron before I can run in and break the pin. I land on my feet and roll through with a quick front roll, ending up down on a knee. Checking my jaw, which got uncomfortably jacked by that stupid red Gorilla.

From inside the ring, I hear Punky snarling, hissing, yelling, cursing...Linds kicked out! Good job, girl! I start slithering around the ring, keeping my eyes on Red who's still standing inside, but he keeps his eyes on Megan and Lindsay as he starts moving back to his corner. And as Punky goes for the pin after the Forever Time Buster, I charge. Sliding into the ring under the bottom rope and stomping her off my partner!

Running through with a few hop-steps, I turn to look down at the broken pin, gritting my teeth as Punky mounts my partner, wanting to just get in there and kick her teeth out of her mouth! But before I can, the ring starts bouncing and I turn. “Ohhhhhh *beep*” I gasp as Red comes rushing right in towards me.

I hiss as I then charge in at him as well. Swinging my right arm around, clobbering him with a forearm across his jaw that stops him dead in his tracks. But he fires right back at me with a forearm of his own. My head snaps back, but I quickly recover and fire again. This time throwing my gloved, right fist in to smack him with it, which he answers as well.

The two of us are trading punches, while Lindsay is down to TAKING punches with Punky mounting her. The ref doesn't know where to start. He's gotta stop Punky, stop us, and in addition to that, get Red and me out of the ring. The poor guy seems to be unable to cope with this, his head goes back and forth, his arms out, and his little “Hey!”s are overheard by all of us.

In our brawl, the power of the bigger guy comes into play, and eventually I'm sent staggering back with each blow. Unable to strike back, and eventually he gives me a rough shove that sends me back into the corner. Slumped back, seeing him step back towards the middle of the ring, Punky's still pounding away on Lindsay's forehead. Not sure how much of a cushion that headband is...but it probably doesn't help too much.

Now, back to my problems! Red roars out and comes charging in, lowering his shoulder, looking to slam it into my abs, which might pretty much take me out of this match. He's gotta stop...I gotta make him stop!

And he will stop!! He comes in, bent over, wanting to break me in half with a spear...but I sidestep! Instead of my belly, he gets one hand on his back, the other at his trunks. I turn quickly, using his momentum against him as I just toss him out between the middle and top turnbuckle and let him slam, with his injured shoulder first, into the unforgiving steel post behind the buckles.

CLANG

OHHHHHHHH!

The crowd groans out as the impact of flesh and bone on steel echoes through the building and I stagger along the ropes. Slumping back against them with my arms draped over the top ones. A satisfied smirk across my lips as Red roars our in pain while slowly slumping off the turnbuckle and down to the canvas.

Now to Punky! She hears Red and looks his way as I turn so my back's towards her, looking back over my shoulder. Punky sends one more punch down at poor Lindsay's forehead, and then gets up to her feet. She roars at Red to “GET THE *BEEP* UP!”

And just as she gets up, I leap. Hopping up to plant my feet against the middle rope. Bending my knees, letting the cables stretch back a little so they help me spring back at my unsuspecting victim. Pushing off the rope, I spin in mid-air after the Springboard. Twisting my body 180°, legs first. “AND WHERE THE *BEEP* IS THAT *BEEP*?!” I hear as she spins around to look for me. And it doesn't take long for her to find me.

Our eyes lock for a moment, right as she turned to face me, I plant my left Chuck on her right shoulder and lean up a bit, almost like standing on her shoulder with that one. And then, I throw my right leg around. Whacking her hard across the side of head with the top of my right foot.

LvK: And Starr hits the Stage Dive! Look at the chaos!

RP: Yeah, this is chaos, alright. The good girls are gone bad! This just isn't right!! Starr shouldn't be in that ring, and we ALL know it!!

LvK: But neither should Red!

RP: He's just in there to try and get Lisa out of there!

LvK: Aren't we just a big hypocritical right now?

RP: What do you mean, “right now”?

My kick lands with a loud echo, as long with a loud roar from the crowd. Punky goes down, and so do I. Landing on my hands and knees after the kick lands flush. Sitting up on my knees, I look around the ring, and I'm the only one with her head up! Lindsay's down, trying to clear the cobwebs from that pounding she took, Red's down, rubbing his shoulder, and Punky's down, looking all glass-eyed up into the ring.

“Heh...nice!” I smirk as I kneel mid-ring. Time to show off a bit! I pound my right fist into the canvas, then spread my arms out wide as I get to my feet “COME OOOOOOONNNN!” I yell and get a loud reaction from the crowd. On my way back towards my corner I step to Lindsay, giving her a soft little smack on her cheek. “Come on, Sunny! Go get that *BEEP*!”

The ref's job has gotten much easier in the meantime, as there's only 1 girl left he's gotta take care of, and that's me, telling me to get out of the ring again and again. “Alright, alright...” rolling my eyes as I head back towards my corner. Hoping Linds can be productive now after I've cleaned up a bit.