Kaley Cuoco vs Aly MichalkaWhile it was Aly flat on her back and Kaley above her on her knees, this was by no means indicative of who was in control. Michalka had snaked her legs around her opponents arms from behind, scissoring them with such force that it felt to Cuoco that her limbs would be pulled from their sockets.
Not bothering to hide her smirk, Aly says, "Face it, Kaley...I'm going to win because I'm younger than you, I'm hotter than you, and I sure as hell am better than you!" To punctuate her taunt she gave her legs an extra tight squeeze, and Kaley was embarrassed by the almost little girl squeal of pain she gave in response.
But it was her opponent's words that stung even more than her hold. How many times, as a rising young celeb catfighter, did Kaley say words to that effect to older, more established opponents? It wasn't just trash talk...it was a mantra, and Cuoco had convinced herself the words were
true.
And weren't they? After all, she was now the preeminent celeb fighter in Hollywood, the proverbial Queen of the Mountain. She
was better than all of the best.
Except now, at this moment, she wasn't. Up until the last few minutes the match had been fairly even, and Cuoco was impressed that her adversary could hang with her at that level for so long. But it was when Kaley finally decided to take herself up a few steps and finish off Michalka that she came in for a rude surprise: the younger woman hadn't merely kept pace with her, but launched a sudden offensive that overwhelmed the veteran. The end result was now: Kaley trapped, mewling in pain, and seemingly destined for the ignominy of surrender.
But what Aly didn't know was that Kaley Cuoco didn't submit.
EVER. That left only two options, unconsciousness or escape. The former was a very real possibility, unless Cuoco could execute the latter, and quickly. Luckily for her, she had a plan.
Gritting her teeth, Cuoco lifted one leg and braced her foot to the floor. She then used that to push herself up, lifting the startled Michalka up bodily with her. It took every last dreg of Kaley's strength to do it, but she managed to half-stand enough so that when she suddenly twisted around and threw herself down, the back of Aly's skull cracked against the floor, with the plush carpeting absorbing only some of the impact. The blow was enough to force Aly to release her hold, and with that Kaley was free.
Her arms were sore and numb, and she needed time to recover. But time was not a luxury that she could afford...and luckily, she still had her legs. Before Michalka could rise up off of the floor, Cuoco was standing up, and she then began to stomp away at her opponent with her foot, her heel slamming down again and again on Aly's belly, breasts and head. Michalka yipped and moaned as she was battered into a daze, her arms only scarcely able to ward off some of the stomps. Finally deciding that her foe was suitably 'softened up', Cuoco sits down on the floor above Aly's head and wraps her legs around her skull, locking on a Figure Four Headscissors. As Kaley's steely thighs lock around her head, Aly's eyes go wide with fear. She squirms and thrashes, her hands slapping and tugging at her oppressor's legs, but to no avail. A look of pure determination on her face, Kaley pours on the pressure, and soon enough, Aly's eyes start to go glassy and her breathing becomes labored.
The minutes tick by as Michalka's lush body grows more listless, her efforts at escape more feeble. Finally she starts to tap her hand on her opponent's thigh...but Kaley ignores it. "No submissions" she says tersely, but then allows herself the barest hint of a smile.
It isn't much longer after that when Aly finally goes limp, driven into the bleakness of unconsciousness. Kaley unlaces her legs and gets up on her knees. Panting, a bead of sweat traveling down the bridge of her nose and dropping off the tip, she looks down at her slumbering adversary and rasps. "Younger than me? Yes. Hotter than me? Hardly. And better than me? Not tonight, sweetie." She bends down and gives Aly a quick kiss on the forehead and then pats her as a parent would a mischievous child. She then forces herself to rise up, places a foot upon the beaten girl's chest, and strikes her pose of victory.