Between 1954 and 1955, Marilyn Monroe set out to beat as many of her fellow blonde bombshells as possible in the ring, as part of a campaign to promote The Seven Year Itch. She had no shortage of challengers, and selected a long list of her favorites.
Anita Ekberg
Anita Ekberg gave a stone faced frown as she straightened her arms upwards, holding her rival helplessly overhead. Marilyn's legs twitched beside Anita's shoulder, and she waved one hand weakly. Her head hung low, hiding her battle damaged face from the crowd. Anita strode towards the edge of the ring, then took a single running step and struck the ropes. Marilyn was too dazed to react as she tumbled over the top rope, spinning several times while she was still in the air. By the time Marilyn's back struck the concrete, Anita had already turned away, standing with her hands on her hips, shoulders back, and spine arched. Behind Anita, Marilyn's limbs settled down on the concrete.
Kathleen Hughes
Marilyn clenched her teeth and winced, but she could barely summon the strength to wiggle back and forth. On top of Marilyn, Kathleen Hughes lay with her arms encircling her opponent's neck, and her legs straddling her waist. She held Marilyn's hair tightly in both hands, and pulled back persistently, exposing Marilyn's slender neck. Kathleen had left superficial scratch marks up and down her opponent's arms, face, chest, and back, and Marilyn's shoulder bore a clear set of bite marks as well. Marilyn's hands held Kathleen by the wrist and shoulder, but they produced no pressure on her opponent, merely gripping Kathleen weakly as her arms threatened to collapse. "...please!" Marilyn whispered, breathing hard, but nearly inaudible. "...you win!" Kathleen looked up and smiled brightly. "Hey, you hear that? I beat Marilyn!" As Marilyn's arms fell to the mat, she groaned.
Greta Thyssen
"...and I really hope I don't seem unappreciative. I was so flattered when I got your acceptance letter!" Greta beamed and tilted her head back, seated comfortably on the floor and leaning back on her elbows. Her shapely legs were compressing Marilyn's midsection down, leaving her even more wasp-waisted than usual, and she held Marilyn's head under her arm, squeezing the side of the woman's neck between her bicep and her ribs. Neck bent backwards, with her chin in Greta's armpit, Marilyn grimaced and tapped on the other woman's arm weakly with both hands, as her legs lay motionless on the mat. "So I hope you aren't too upset. Maybe we can do this again another time?" Marilyn let out a final hissing sigh as her tense frown relaxed, her eyelids fluttered and shut, and her arm fell to her side, fingers curled loosely.
Mamie Van Doren
Marilyn winced. "...but the contract says..." She lay on her stomach, with Mamie Van Doren's butt on her lower back, her arms under Marilyn's armpits, and hands clasped behind her neck. Mamie wiggled and leaned back, stretching Marilyn's spine further. With her feet planted on the floor, Mamie was in no danger of losing her balance. She gripped Marilyn by her short, blonde hair, just above her neck, to be sure. "Never mind the contract! Greta Thyssen beat you. Jayne Mansfield will beat you worse. Just call in sick that day or something so I can have the honor of fighting Jayne instead."
Marilyn wrinkled her nose and let out a single, choking sob. Still, she protested. "But if I back out management will..." Mamie inhaled, looking down incredulously, and pushed her arms together, inching her butt forward and arching her back. The small movement bent Marilyn's spine even further, while threatening to rip her arms from their sockets. Marilyn reflexively stretched her eyes and mouth open wide as she screamed in pain. "You win you win you win!" she babbled, clenching her muscles and kicking against the mat uselessly. Mamie smirked, sat up straight, and let Marilyn's arms slip free, sending the conquered actress' nose crunching into the mat before she could react. "Enjoy your vacation!" Mamie purred.
Barbara Nichols
Marilyn's arms dangled at her sides, swaying slightly. Barbara Nichols' overflowing cleavage obscured most of the dazed actress' face. Only Marilyn's eyes were visible over the top of Barbara's bosom, and she stared upwards. Silently, with her brow furrowed and her eyes forced open, Marilyn pleaded for release. Barbara huffed and lifted slightly. Hugging Marilyn's body and trapping Marilyn's arms at her sides, Barbara had been supporting Marilyn's weight for some time. Now, as Marilyn's head slumped forward, vanishing into Barbara's neckline, her legs fully gave out. Smirking, Barbara raised her fists in victory; Marilyn's face slid down her chest, then her stomach, and finally passed between her legs and collided with the floor.
Brigitte Bardot
Brigitte straightened her arm and twisted her body, swinging the back of her fist out and smirking as her knuckles struck Mariliyn's jaw. "Ungh!" Marilyn blinked and wrinkled her lips into a frown as her head suddenly snapped up and to the side. She flailed an arm in Brigitte's general direction, trying to focus her eyes. Brigitte remained light on her feet, darting forward and raising a fist to strike, only to smile teasingly and bounce away. Marilyn glared at Brigitte and bared her teeth, infuriated by the other actress' carefree taunts. She sprang forward, screeching long and hoarsely, and got halfway through a haymaker aimed at Brigitte's head before Brigitte ducked and charged herself. The two blondes collided violently. Marilyn's fist swished through the air, and her battle cry suddenly became silent as Brigitte's shoulder dented her stomach. Brigitte, legs bent in a crouch, quickly wrapped her arms around Marilyn's thighs. Straightening her body, Brigitte stopped Marilyn's charge completely, and lifted.
"Noo-oooh!" Marilyn wailed mournfully, her voice warbling and rising in pitch as Brigitte raised her up. She spread her arms wide, fingers clawing for any handhold that might save her from the inevitable drop. As Brigitte swung Marilyn downwards, the helpless blonde's cry turned to a gurgle, before instantly silencing as Marilyn's back landed flat on the mat, and her head bounced against it an instant later. Marilyn's flailing arms hung in the air for a moment before descending to the mat and bouncing against it.
Brigitte looked down at Marilyn and tittered at the bruised, slumbering blonde. She amused herself briefly by giving her opponent a few quick, sharp swats with her palm to the chest and face, making Marilyn's unresponsive body wobble on the mat, but eliciting no response. Shrugging, Brigitte arched her back, flattened her body down on top of Marilyn's, and looked to the crowd excitedly for approval.
The following day, Marilyn Monroe cancelled the remaining matches and refused to be seen in public for some time. The resulting complaints from the long list of actresses she skipped generated substantial publicity for the film.