Historical notes: Marilyn Monroe fought in the first and second annual Battles of the Blonde Bombshells, giving a performance that was disappointing to say the least both years. Nevertheless, she showed up at the third annual competition enthusiastic and confident. At the last minute, however, Marilyn mysteriously vanished. Some witnesses report seeing a woman in a hat and sunglasses exiting the arena from the rear, while others speculate that one of Marilyn's competitors decided to go after her backstage.
The other competitors disapproved of Marilyn's sudden withdrawal.
The day after the third annual Battle of the Blonde Bombshells
Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Marilyn paced back and forth in her upstairs bedroom, holding the lower half of her pretty face in one hand and sucking in air through her clenched teeth. The sound from her front door was loud and jarring, but hidden behind it, issuing from Marilyn's back yard, several women's voices shouted over each other angrily. Marilyn spun around and turned her head up, eyes wide, straining to make sense of it. She looked past her open bedroom door to the stairs, then turned to her second story bedroom window.

Marilyn
Meanwhile...
Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Cleo Moore's red lips twisted up as she struggled to open her eyes. Her eyelids quivered as her face muscles clenched, deforming her face even further. With her cheek pressed to Jayne Mansfield's hip, and Jayne's arm firmly wrapped around her neck, the helpless actress bent at the waist and weakly shoved at Jayne's thighs. As Jayne scowled and swung her knee up into Cleo's stomach, the trapped blonde winced and bowed her back, straightening her legs as the blow lifted her off the ground. As she fell back down to her starting pose, her wide ass bumped against Marilyn's doorbell again. Ding dong!

Cleo

Jayne
Meanwhile...
Diana Dors arm stiffened as her knuckles crushed Kathleen Hughes cheek. Her follow through was flawless; her arm remained straight, and her legs and hips rotated her upper body, putting enough force behind the haymaker to send Kathleen back over Marilyn's back porch railing. Diana winced and unclenched her fist, shaking her sore hand as Kathleen's spread legs swung up, and her body dropped down flat on her back, feet resting between the vertical railing bars. Stepping forward to look over the railing, Diana frowned and swatted some dust away from her arm."You couldn't have handled Marilyn anyway, you cream pfffffffff!"
Anita Ekberg struck without warning, her tall, wide, powerful body striking Diana's stomach at high speed. Diana's eyes widened as Anita hugged her around the waist and continued her charge, sending her into the air for a moment before the two crashed to the ground in a tangle of limbs. "She's mine! I got here first!" growled Diana between gasps. Trapped, but squirming frantically, Diana's hugged Anita's neck and yanked her hair violently while the bigger woman pinned her down.

Diana

Kathleen

Anita
Meanwhile...
Jeanne Carmen's head wavered back and forth, and her eyes crossed. Her foot swung up, as if trying to advance, and then drifted back down, crossing her ankles. With her back to the second story balcony railing, she swayed precariously, doing her best to untangle her elegant legs without sending herself over the edge. Her arms hovered at chest height, wiggling as she tried to remain upright.
Mamie Van Doren, standing just out of reach, sighed impatiently. With a quick step forward, her arm shot out straight, and her knuckles scored a direct hit on Jeanne's nose. The dazed actress squeaked and stiffened, standing up on her toes. Teetering backward, her butt plopped down on the railing, and her eyes widened... for an instant, before Mamie grabbed her wrist and pulled her away from the balcony. Jeanne gasped as Mamie pivoted on the spot, gripping her arm firmly at the elbow and wrist. With a grunt, Mamie swung Jeanne in a wide circle, forcing the actress to stumble and build up speed in an arc. For a moment, Jeanne relaxed... until she neared the opposite end of the semi-circle and found herself running straight at the waist high balcony!
On the porch, Diana writhed, her body interlocked with Anita's still. She had the bigger blonde on her back, but Anita was far from cooperative. With her palm on Diana's chin, Anita pushed upwards, trying to twist her tormentor's neck and throw her off balance. "Eeeeeeeeee!" The loud scream began above the pair, but rapidly descended. Anita and Diana paused and turned their heads to the side, just in time to see Jeanne plunge past them, arms and legs flailing in the air desperately. With a splash, Jeanne struck the surface of Marilyn's pool, immediately vanishing in a shower of water. After a moment, her head burst through the surface with a smaller splash. Completely soaked, Jeanne's hair had flattened and molded itself to her head, the messy, suddenly straight blonde strands covering her eyes. She bobbed up and down, spitting water, before taking a deep, desperate breath.
At ground level, below the adjacent balcony, Grace Lee Whitney scowled, gripped the white, vine covered trellis, and pulled herself up, wedging her foot between the slats. When the trellis held her weight, she tilted her neck up to gaze at the balcony, and began to climb.

Jeanne

Mamie

Grace
Meanwhile...
Greta Thyssen stood astride a short ornamental shrub, leaning back and forth as she gazed through the open window. Angry women's voices shouted over each other from the inside, but muffled beyond recognition by distance and internal walls. After hesitating for a few moments, Greta put on an angry pout, leaned forward, and stuck her head through the window. Squirming back and forth, she squeezed one arm inside, freeing her shoulder, and using the extra space to wedge her other arm through.
Just as she tilted her head up, Barbara Nichols' hand gripped her hair near her neck, forcing her gaze up even further. Greta's eyes widened as she gazed on the tall, curvy actress towering over her, and she immediately began to shimmy back and forth, trying to back out of the window quickly. It was a hopeless maneuver, even without the added difficulty of Barbara dragging her in the opposite direction. Barbara gazed down on Greta with a victorious smirk, watching her struggle. "Wait, uh, I'll help you find h..." Greta began, voice quavering, but Barbara's mind was made up. The busty actress interrupted Greta with a punch to the jaw. With no room to move, Greta simply scrunched her eyes shut and absorbed the blow, her mouth dropping open and her legs going limp behind her as Barbara leaned into the strike. Taking Greta by the arms and heaving, Barbara braced herself against the wall with one foot, frowned, and began to slowly tug her still squirming victim through the narrow gap.
"Help!" Barbara kept her hands on Greta's wiggling arms, but the terrified voice was enough to grab her attention. She turned her head and looked over her shoulder suspiciously. On the opposite side of the house, far out of reach, Sabrina reached out to her with one arm. Stretching with all of her might, the terrified blonde waved her hand through the other open window to get Barbara's attention. "Help me-eeeek!" Sabrina's face suddenly dropped out of view as June Wilkinson's silhouette rose up behind her, dragging the curvy actress away from the window frame. Barbara's eyes flicked upward as June hefted Sabrina's body, and the helpless actress squealed again, kicking her legs in the air. Shrugging, Barbara turned away as June raised one foot high, preparing to stomp Sabrina into the ground.

Greta

Barbara

June

Sabrina
Meanwhile...
Sheree North marched through Marilyn's entryway, towards the long, central staircase to the second floor. Taking long, forceful strides, the short haired blonde beauty frowned and clenched her fists, arms swinging. Turning a corner, a scuffle of feet on the stone floor was Sheree's only warning of the coming attack. Beverly Michaels stumbled as she lowered her head and charged, but she struck Sheree's body with enough force to stop the confident blonde in her tracks. Growling, Sheree planted her feet far apart, grasped Beverly by the shoulder, and fortified her position, while Beverly, hissing through clenched teeth, threatened to lift her off her feet. The position gave Sheree a perfect view of the staircase, and more importantly Joi Lansing, who had ignored the two struggling women and delicately jogged up the first few steps. Sheree straightened up and relaxed her grip. Beverly, sensing something was wrong, looked up at Sheree nervously.
"You idiot! You're gonna let her get to Marilyn first!" snarled Sheree, extending her left arm and pointing a finger at the fleeing woman, over Beverly's back. Straightening her back, Beverly kept her hands on Sheree's waist, but turned her torso towards the stairs to sneak a glance. With a snarl and a forceful shove to the shoulders, Sheree separated herself from Beverly. As Beverly turned to react, Sheree swung a rising right hook at her chin. Crack! Beverly's head jerked to the side from the impact, and her eyes rolled up in her head slowly. She took an unsteady step away from her foe, then sank down, her butt landing on the lowest step, and her head and back coming to rest against the railing. Beverly's eyes shut and her legs spread as she slumped down. Sheree, of course, had missed all of this, as she broke into a run up the stairs after Joi.
"Hrrgh!" "Get out of the way, she's in here!" The sounds of stomping feet and groaning echoed from the top floor, approaching the top of the stairs. As the clamoring grew closer, soon the curvaceous shape of Grace Lee Whitney backs into view. She squirmed in Dagmar's grip, digging her nails into the other actress' arms as her heel skidded against the carpet, dangerously close to the top step. As Joi ascended with Sheree following at a safe distance, Grace ducked and elbowed Dagmar in the ribs. "Hffff!" Dagmar emptied her lungs, puffing out her cheeks as she flailed an arm over Grace's head in a failed counter. With a roar, Grace took Dagmar by the wrist and shoulder, pivoting on one foot and hurling Dagmar down the stairs behind her.
With plenty of space, Dagmar shrieked as she performed a graceful but involuntary flip, kicking her legs in empty space as she suddenly found herself upside down in midair. Joi had approached at the perfect time to catch Dagmar's airborne butt with her upper body. "Oof!" Clutching desperately at anything to keep her balance, Joi flailed her arms, only managing to grab the descending Dagmar around her midsection. She toppled backward, keeping her head up, but striking each stair with a distinct thud as she slid downward.
Sheree gasped and dived forward, launching herself over the two falling blondes to land in a crouch near the top of the staircase. With her palms on the top step, she tilted her head up, snarled, and scrambled forward towards Grace. Halfway down, on the landing, Dagmar lay atop Joi, thick legs wrapped around the trapped blonde's head. Joi let out a muffled growl, kicking her legs and scratching her tormentor's sides, as Grace and Sheree vanished onto the second floor, and other attackers approached the staircase from below.

Sheree

Beverly

Joi

Dagmar
Meanwhile...
"Hrg. Hrg." Marilyn's lips pressed together in a strained frown. She held the palm tree firmly with all four limbs, pressing her torso and cheek to the bumpy, coarse surface. Loosening her grip, Marilyn slid down an inch, only to wince and clench her muscles tightly, halting her descent as the jagged tree trunk scratched her. "Hrg!"
"She's gotta be in here somewhere!" "You let her out!" "Keep looking!" "Don't you tell me what to do!" The voices issued from Marilyn's open window. Halfway down the palm tree, Marilyn shut her eyes and shuddered. "Hrg."
As she approached the ground level, Marilyn's slender arms trembled with each tiny drop. Her back bent away from the tree trunk awkwardly, and her eyes popped open. "Hrgnonononoeeeeeeeeh!" she babbled, as one of her exhausted arms gave out. Her remaining three limbs, suddenly burdened with extra weight, quivered and slowly loosened. With a terrified cry, Marilyn tipped back, her fingers slipping away from the tree trunk. The movement forced her legs apart and sent her falling freely down the remaining few feet.
"Oof." Marilyn lay on her back, blinking and staring up at the clear blue sky. Her fingers twitched, and her ribcage expanded as she took a slow breath. Swinging her legs and pushing herself up with her elbows, Marilyn scrambled across the grass, rising and breaking into run as she fled directly away from the house.
As Marilyn passed a tall, square hedge, a new attacker sprung forth from behind it. Holding her arm out straight, she inserted herself in Marilyn's path before the fleeing starlet could react. Marilyn's sprint came to an abrupt end as she ran face first into her latest attacker's slim but unyielding bicep, falling over backwards and skidding across the grass under the other woman's outstretched arm. Once again, Marilyn lay on her back in the grass, shaking her head and slowly opening her eyes. Her jaw fell open as she looked up at Judy Holliday's smiling face.
"Well someone had to catch you!" Judy quipped. Marilyn screamed and held up her hands defensively as Judy pounced, but her attacker pressed her palm over Marilyn's mouth immediately. Marilyn kicked and screamed with all of her might, but the uproar from the house easily overwhelmed her muffled cries.

Judy