1999: Lucy Lawless VS Jeri Ryan
It had started innocently enough as one media outlet couldn’t resist the opportunity to have two of the biggest female stars of genre TV pose together for a photoshoot. The banter remained jovial as the two discussed who would win in a fight between Xena and Seven but as Lucy bragged about how much she relished the physicality of fight scenes, Jeri had grown more interested. She continued to needle Lucy, suggesting the New Zealander wasn’t so tough when she didn’t have stunt men around to fling themselves whenever Lucy threw a punch. Jeri shoved Lucy hard and suddenly a catfight had erupted.
15 minutes later and the two were still going at it. Lucy held a headlock on Jeri but it was sloppily applied, serving as much as a break to regain her breath as anything that would do actual damage to the blonde. Jeri pushed her off easily and the two stood facing one another. Their faces were flushed and their bra-clad bosoms, long free of the cumbersome dresses they had been wearing, heaved with exertion. No words were spoken, such unnecessary wastes of breath couldn’t be afforded in this even a contest.
Lucy’s right hand shot out, looking for a test of strength. Jeri’s left linked with it and her right hand found Lucy’s left. They were now struggling with all their might to overpower their rival. Their linked hands moved further out to the respective sides as their bodies drew closer. They could each see the determination in the eyes of the other, as well as the beads of sweat continuing to form on their foreheads. Finally, their chests clashed and their breasts pressed together as their entire bodies went to war with each other.
Jeri’s bigger boobs may have been mashing Lucy’s pair but the bigger picture wasn’t looking so good for her. Lucy’s was now overpowering Jeri in their hand battle, contorting the American’s wrists savagely.
A yelp was the only sound that escaped Jeri’s lips as she could feel her arms being overpowered, her fingers and wrists being pulled in ways that God and nature had never intended. She sank to her knees just to try and straighten her arms but her leverage was lost and so was her strength.
“Resistance is futile, bitch,” snarled Lucy as she grabbed the fallen Jeri by the torso and lifted her up once more in a bearhug. The muscles of Lucy’s strong arms rippled as she squeezed any lingering fight out of her opponent. Jeri tried desperately to pry Lucy’s arms off of her. When this failed, she sought to punch Lucy’s back but she was now terribly weak and her blows were too feeble to matter.
Another squeeze and shake from Lucy and Jeri was ready to concede defeat. “OK…you’ve proved your point,” she wheezed but the New Zealander kept the hold applied. “I…I…gi…” Jeri struggled to get the words out. It took an immense amount of willpower just to admit defeat but eventually she was able to choke out the words: “I give up! You win,” which proved good enough for Lucy to let her limp body finally fall.
Lucy placed a triumphant foot between the breasts of her fallen rival. It had been a bitter struggle but in the end the Warrior Princess had triumphed.
“Can’t say it wasn’t fun,” she mused to herself as she walked out the room leaving Jeri alone and gasping on the floor.
1999: Lucy Lawless VS Sarah Michelle Gellar
Lucy did indeed have fun in her defeat of Jeri and it was this encounter that inspired her to seek out another genre TV star of the time. Nerds and female fight fans had long wondered who would win in a fight between Xena and Buffy and Lucy and Sarah had agreed to find out for real. It was all arranged, Lucy would arrive on the Buffy set at a given time and the two would throwdown on the set of the show’s library in front of an audience made up of the casts and crews of the two shows.
Lucy, who stood several inches taller than her opponent, had proven herself the stronger of the two, but strength wasn’t everything. Sarah was quick, she connected with a hard kick to Lucy’s thigh which sent a twinge of pain through the bigger woman. Sarah wasn’t exactly a martial artist, but she’d been shown how to throw believable punches and kicks often enough that doing it for real came quite naturally to her now.
“Come on Tall, Dark and Slow,” chided Sarah. “Where’s that skill I’ve heard so much about?”
Sarah smirked as she faked a punch which Lucy moved to block, leaving the New Zealander open to another of her quick kicks. Sarah didn’t care that she was giving up a fair amount in height and weight, in fact she was excited at the prospect of bringing down a larger woman.
Angered, Lucy made a lunge that Sarah ducked out the way of, showcasing her incredible agility and anticipation of her rival’s more cumbersome movements.
“Too slow,” mocked the blonde as she jumped on the back of her opponent, wrapping her legs around Lucy’s torso and her arms below her chin in an attempted sleeper hold.
“You’re like a little gnat,” said the irritated Lucy as she swung this way and that in vain attempts to try to get Sarah off her back. “I will get you though, blondie.”
With that, Lucy backed herself against a nearby wall, squashing Sarah between the wall and her back and causing her to relinquish the sleeper hold. Turning around, Lucy went for a full power punch that Sarah ducked, causing Lucy’s fist to connect with the wall.
At this point, Sarah should have scurried away but she couldn’t resist the chance to slap her increasingly infuriated rival. The slap connected with Lucy’s cheek, but she had been in too close quarters for too long to the powerful New Zealander. As Sarah tried to create distance between them, she felt a sharp yank of her hair that brought her right back to Lucy.
“Your mine now,” said Lucy, her voice laced with menace. She pulled Sarah into her by the hair and trapped her in a tight full nelson. Sarah tried to resist but Lucy’s arms were far stronger than hers. She tried to wriggle free, but the grip was too tight. She even stamped on Lucy’s foot but the brunette seemed entirely unconcerned with this attack too. Sarah began to panic as the pain in her arms grew unbearable.
“Where’s that smart mouth now,” quipped Lucy as the only sounds escaping Sarah now were grunts of pain and exertion. Keeping the nelson applied, Lucy walked Sarah towards the large table in the middle of the room. She picked the so-called Slayer up and drove her face first into the table.
Sarah looked up and the room was spinning around her. The match was, to all intents and purposes, over but Sarah had annoyed Lucy and the brunette sought some extra style points.
Lucy reached down the back of Sarah’s pants and felt the loser’s underwear which she duly grabbed and yanked up as far as she could pull it. Sarah felt a terrible chafing in her womanhood and ass as she endured the powerful wedgie.
Lucy then dragged Sarah across the room by her white panties. When she reached the wall, she lifted Sarah up by the undergarment and hung her from a protruding hook in the wall.
Lucy smiled as Sarah’s body hung uselessly from the hook by her panties. The unforgiving fabric no doubt tearing into the younger woman’s sensitive flesh.
“That’s what you get when you try to make a fool out of me,” spat Lucy as she took a final look at her conquered quarry and strode out of the library, accompanied by her cheering castmates and crew. The red-faced Sarah was left to face her own coworkers as she hung in this humiliating position.
“Someone let me down before…” but Sarah’s whines were interrupted by the noise of fabric tearing, her panties finally having given way to the pressure, sending her tumbling to the ground once more.
1999: Lucy Lawless VS Famke Janssen
She had seen off Ryan and Gellar and established herself as the toughest action heroine on TV but now Lucy faced an even bigger challenge. For the first time she faced a woman taller than herself and with an indomitable reputation similar to her own. The action takes place in a wide open field in the middle of nowhere and both women are in the nude.
As they rolled down into a muddy ditch, neither woman could deny they were revelling in the challenge presented by the other. Oh, they would revel in their eventual victory even more, but there was something exhilarating about facing a woman who was strong enough and dominant enough to provide either of these titans with a real match.
They grappled, both covered in mud, and it was Lucy who was able to slip behind Famke and trap her in a full nelson. Lucy’s arms were incredibly strong and Famke was struggling to get enough purchase on the uneven surface to even attempt to power out of the hold. Thinking quickly, the Dutchwoman kicked up her heel right between Lucy’s legs and succeeded in hitting her assailant right in her most tender region.
Lucy fell to the muddy ground, her hands moving instinctively to her groin. But Famke was on her in a flash. Her right hand flew out and grabbed a hold around Lucy’s throat. The New Zealander was in trouble. As her focus was on prying Famke’s strong fingers from her throat, that left the rest of her body unprotected from Famke’s pummelling blows to the stomach and breasts of the Warrior Princess.
Desperately, Lucy reached out and grabbed two handfuls of her enemy’s hair and pulled her to the ground alongside her. They now lay on their sides in the mud, their bodies entangled in a titanic struggle, Lucy’s piercing blue eyes boring into Famke’s dark pools.
“Do you have any idea of what I’m capable of?” growled Lucy to her would-be conquest.
Much to Lucy’s surprise, Famke seemed amused by this.
“Screaming like a little girl?” smirked Famke to the confused New Zealander.
On that note, Famke seemed to free herself entirely from the bonds of Lucy’s limbs and surge up the way, her long legs coiling around the head of her adversary.
The headscissors was like nothing Lucy had ever felt before. It was like every headache she’d ever had all at once. It was like her skull was being ground into mush and her brain was exploding. Trying to budge the Dutchwoman’s legs was a fruitless endeavour. Trying to resist at all was a fool’s errand.
“I give!” she called out. When that failed to move her attacker, she had no choice but to scream at the top of her lungs just as Famke had predicted.
Famke released the hold at sat there for a minute, gleeful at having defeated a worthy adversary. Lucy just hoped the throbbing in her head would stop.
“You’re a hell of a fighter,” she said, turning to Famke. “I truly respect you.”
Famke stood up and took Lucy by the hair. “Let’s make one thing clear,” she snarled as she turned around slowly. She pushed Lucy’s head into her own naked ass, shaking her tight, mud-streaked behind in her opponent’s face.
“I have no respect for you. None.”
Lucy was shocked and disgusted as she was pushed down to the ground once more. Famke then took her naked size 12 foot and pressed Lucy’s humiliated face down into the mud. This was one defeat she’d never forget.
