Phone conversation between Kim and Keith; Saturday June 2, 10:10am
Him: Hey, babe. Uneventful flight?
Her: Yeah, hun. We're in a rental car now, driving out to Amy's aunt's <<<<winks at Amy>>> place.
Him: Amy's driving??
Her: Well, .... she's to one who knows how to get there <<<<winks at Amy again>>>>, right??
Him: I miss you, babe. I have a colossal hardon right now.
Her: I would normally ask you to continue, hun, but I'm 6 inches away from my sister.
Him: 6 inches ... interesting ... my hardon is at least 10 at the moment. Should I text a pic to you?
Her: Hun, you're as incorrigible as a frat boy. Not that I'm complaining, but if I didn't know any better, I'd swear you got a booty call wrong number this morning.
Him: .......
Her: Hello?? Did I strike a nerve??
Him: ....so, ummm .... the thing is .... either you have e.s.p., ... or my guilt is in my tone of voice ....
Her: Guilt?!?!? You hot something you want to confess to me, hun?!?
Him: Not ..... confess .... per se ....
Her: Ok, I already don't like where this conversation is going ....
Him: Kim, just .... just .... hear me out for a minute .... nothing actually happened .... it's just that .... There's a woman at work I need to tell you about ...
Her: Excuse me ?!?
Him: Kim, slow down, she's married with a kid ... a daughter who just finished freshman year at college ....
Her: I already don't like how much you know about her, but go on.
Him: Let me finish. Please, this is hard enough to do over the phone. .... <<<<inhales, exhales>>>> ... Anyways, her name is Pam. She works in the Westborough office ... when I go there, she's one of the people I work with, so that's how we've chatted about family a few times .... well, speaking of travelling for work .... turns out SHE travelled OUT HERE this week for work .... and I guess she tried to connect with me......
Her: Whoa, hun, whoa whoa whoa! How the frig to you know THAT??
Him: Babe, slow down--that's where this story is going .... I know because she called me this morning ...
Her: SHE CALLED YOU?!?!? On our home phone?
??
Him: No, babe, slow down ... damn .... she called me on my cell....
Her: But I thought you never answer that on weekends?!?!?
Him: Babe, I don't ... usually .... but I got worried, with you flying this morning .... ya know, in case there was an emergency??? ...
Her: Ya ya, fine. So what the fuck did the floozy want?!?
Him: Well, SUPPOSEDLY .... she was just apologizing for missing me while she was in town this week ....
Her: But? ... ACTUALLY?? ...
Him: ACTUALLY?? ... actually, I think she was trying to bait me into having phone sex with her ...
Her: WITH ME IN BED NEXT TO YOU??
Him: Well .... that's the thing .... she asked if you were there ... snd I told her you were flying this weekend ....
Her: Hun, you WAY overshare with this bitch.
Him: Well, I .... I didn't want her thinking any phone sex was going to be happening.
Her: Babe, you want me to end this and take this bitch down?
Him: So, Kim, .... here's the thing .... one of the reasons I try to avoid Pam .... this is going to sound weird ... Kim, Pam is OBSESSED with fighting other women .... OBSESSED ... like, it's bizarre ... she talks about fights she has with women who flirt with her husband ... or whose husbands she flirts with .. Kim, I used to think it was all, I don't know, role-play or something with her .... but after she called this morning ... I'm starting to think it's real ... Kim, what I'm saying is .... like, let this blow over, ok? .... when she sees what squares we are, she'll move on to someone else .... understand, babe?? .... Promise?? ... you there???
Her: And do you didn't have phone sex with her?!
Him: NO! I swear. Not this morning, not ever.
Her: Well, you're right about one thing. This is a hard conversation to have in a car ... noy to mention by phone.
Him: I know. Babe, Skype me when you're settled k?
Her: K. Probably tonight.
Him: Love you.
Her: Love you more. Oh, by thr way--that hardon ... I DO want a pic of it.
Him: Texting it now.
Her: Love ya, Keith.
To be continued.....