"I SAID .... WHO ARE YOU??"
I arrived in the waiting area at the Wellesley divorce attorney's office and was immediately alarmed at the shabbiness of the surroundings. The office was in an industrial park which was clearly past its prime. Not that I could afford a super-expensive attorney for what was likely going to become a very bitter divorce trial, but you like to think your attorney has deep enough pockets to go to bat for you.
As I filled out the endless, and depressing, intake form (no, <<sigh>> my soon-to-be-ex-husband and I have none of the laundry list of assets and investments listed on these pages), I became suspicious about why more clients weren't moving in and out of the office. I hadn't even been asked to pay any sort of retainer or fee yet--exactly how many partners and associates does the life office have anyways?
My women's intuition was kicking in, and not in a good way. Was word of mouth from your boss really the best way to choose a divorce attorney? Should I back out now while I still have the chance? The personal information being requested on the form was all the stuff we were trained in 1996 (pre-Facebook, pre-Google) to NEVER disclose to ANYONE.
I bring the clipboard and the only-partially-completed-intake-form up to the attractive-but-a-bit overweight receptionist, who seems a few years younger than me. She thanks me, and tells me it will be awhile before "the attorney" can see me. Wonderful--this morning is just getting better by the minute. I want to break down and shout that as we speak, my house is sitting empty and unguarded, just 24 hours after my husband's mistress, who is also my worst enemy, broke in and stole my clothes and underwear.
Should I be reporting the theft to the cops? Did I lose my right to report it by not doing so yesterday? Should I be "stealing" my husband's tools snd papers to preserve my right for later? Is Ben remembering to not let himself get served with divorce papers today? How can I fuck with Karen and get the upper hand on her? And what does she have up her sleeve today to fuck with me? I csn't wait to get back home and log onto AOL and see if CapeKaren is online.
I ask the receptionist if the black Mercedes belongs the one of the attorneys. She smirks, and says, "Oh, no, that's one of our investigators. She works in the field most of the time."
That's odd, I think to myself. "She"
"The field"
? Was my house "the field" yesterday?? Is "she" the womsn who served me with divorce papers when I arrived him from work?
I ask, if, while I'm waiting, I can visit "the investigator" in her office. The receptionist says, "Sure, let me buzz her and let her know you're coming." "Oh, no, don't bother. I'll just drop in quick. What suite number is she?". "105F." "Thank you, I'll be right back."
I walk briskly to the investigators office. I knock, and she shouts "come in." My heart sinks. I immediately recognize her voice from yesterday. My pulse races--get ready, Michelle. I open the door. Our eyes lock. I slam and lock the door behind me. The blonde reaches for her phone, but I rip the cord out of the wall--no such thing as wireless communications in 1996. We slam together in the tiny office, desperately grabbing each others' hair and face, our mouths inches apart.
Who ARE you, bitch?? You were at my place yesterday.
Fuck you, psycho, get out of here.
Not till I know who you are. Now answer me, who ARE you??
The older, attractive woman and I are now on the surface of her desk, desperately catfighting. She foolishes attempts to punch me, her apparent training in self-defense and hand-to-hand combat being completely useless in a cubicle setting. Plus, I've just plain fucking had it at this point. Karen is fucking with me, my clothes are gone, my marriage is in shatters.....I'm going to make the bitch who served me with divorce papers pay.
So I reach my hands under her soft fabric top and find her bra. I use my legs to mount my opponent, and I begin pinching and twisting her breasts under her shirts. The olser attractive blonde responds in kind, reacking up tearing and tearing at my blazer, using her nails to slash as my breasts. Neither of us expends an ounce of energy defending ourselves, each maintaining 100% focus on harming our opponent.
I look down into her eyes and twist her nipples in rapid repeating cycles.
Fuck you, bitch.
Get OFF of me.
Get me off, bitch.
Papers, folders, and pens go flying off the desk surface, as our struggling bodies wipe the surface nearly clean. I wonder if any of those folders contained useful information on Karen.
I wonder if my approach is wrong. This woman I'm viciously catfighting isn't my enemy--she's Karen's hired help. And anyways, I'm down to my last set of clothes. What will happen if these get ruined? I'll be stranded in this office.
Focus, Michelle, focus.
I wonder if this woman would .... kiss and make up .. with me. Literally.
I lean over her. "You're a damn good catfighter, honey."
"So are you, bitch."
Our eyes lock again. We're breathing in each others' face, our foreheads sweating profusely.
I make the first move. I plant a deep tongue kiss on her mouth. She reciprocates, our tongues wrapping around each other and exploring.
She lowers her legs onto the floor. I mount her and start thrusting.
We're both screaming in orgasm in 2 minutes.
Hi. I'm Michelle.
Hello. Denise.
I need your help.
To be continued.....