KIM KARDASHIAN VS LINDSAY KAY HAYWARD - THE 'HUGE BITCH' CHALLENGEBy Nancy Fanciful, correspondent for CelebToday, your favourite classy catfight magazine for all things bitchyCelebrity ladies who fight - in the ring or elsewhere - talk about her in whispers of awe - and sometimes in tones of endured humiliation - referring to her as 'the huge bitch'.
The woman herself describes herself as invincible...
Lindsay Kay Hayward, a 6'9" tall ex wrestler who weighs 117 kg, has never been much impressed by women whose height level usually reaches just anything from Lindsay's underbust to armpits.
Women who have been brave enough to fight her in the ring so far mostly had to endure the degrading procedure of getting picked up by Lindsay like a doll, and being spanked until they were too stunned and exhausted to even consciously witness Lindsay's recurring celebration of victory consisting of her prancing through the ring, arms raised and biceps flexed.
Recently though, we've heard some talk of female celebrities not wanting to put up with her anymore.
'It's time that one of us girls finally brings her down,' one woman who doesn't want to be named told
CelebToday. 'She decided to withdraw from pro wrestling, fair enough - but now she takes the piss going out there beating up every model, actress, pop singer...well, you name them! And she's so arrogant, really rubbing it in. It makes many of us so infuriated! I saw Lindsay fight a skinny girl so much smaller than her she could lift one of her boobs and drop it on the poor girl's head. Fucking bitch! But we're a bunch of women who believe we can finally bring her onto her knees! And we know who of us is gonna have the first go at her. We've talked about it a lot. You just wait - and perhaps be surprised!'
We were indeed surprised when a rumour that socialite
Kim Kardashian was soon to face Lindsay in the wrestling ring turned out to be true.
We asked that lady - who stands a mere 5'2" in her bare feet while weighing 56 kg - what made her think she can handle her enormous opponent-to-be Lindsay. 'It's quite simple,' Ms Kardashian explained. 'I've received quite some training in fighting, and I go to the gym regularly, on a strict workout schedule really. I know how to fight, and Lindsay who's never even been a good wrestler lacks the skills I have! We met once and she mocked me, grazing my forehead with her underbust, calling me a midget. Fuck you, Lindsay! I'm not a midget, and neither am I a freak like you! But I know how to throw a punch, and you'll soon have the privilege of experiencing that first hand!'
Lindsay was shown some footage of the interview we're quoting here and dismissed Kim's claims, laughing derisively. 'I feel sorry for the poor thing already!' she told us. 'I'll crush her like a paper lantern. She won't even know what hit her before I beat her senseless.'
A date for the fight between Kim and Lindsay will soon be announced. The two ladies will compete in a beauty contest and a battle of armwrestling before the main event, wrestling in the ring.
Tickets available soon from celebtoday.com, and from the venue's website.LINDSAY: 32 years, 6'9", 117 kg, 38G
KIM: 39 years, 5'2", 53 kg, 32D
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